Got that, folks? You need to send thank-you notes after your kid's party!

[Anonymous]

OP - the way you worded your opening post was neither well-mannered, nor polite.
"Got THAT?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do I keep an actual list of who sent a thank you note? No. Do I mentally note that I didn't receive one. Absolutely. It's common courtesy to thank someone for a gift and if the recipient can't be bothered to acknowledge the gift, then I won't be bothered to send them a gift in the future.

Charming. Hopefully nobody will be bothered to invite you to anything in the future, either. That will go along splendidly with your tit for tat viewpoint.

Tit for tat viewpoint? How about I don't want to associate (or give gifts to) people who are rude and can't be bothered to take 3 minutes to write a thank you. I can't fathom why you're defending not writing thank you notes. It's a very basic, common courtesy and an easy one at that. That's unless you want to raise your kids to be entitled spoiled brats who don't acknowledge people's generosity.

FWIW, I do write thank you notes. Fairly religiously. It takes WAY more than 3 minutes to do it. It takes 5 min. just to locate the address book and address the letters. Add it buying the notes and writing something thoughtful.

I don't believe you have to send TY notes if there is a verbal Thank You. But, I do it anyways. It's 50% b/c I am trying to be thankful; 50% to satisfy folks like the high-maintenance hens on this Board.

[Anonymous]

FWIW, I do write thank you notes. Fairly religiously. It takes WAY more than 3 minutes to do it. It takes 5 min. just to locate the address book and address the letters. Add it buying the notes and writing something thoughtful.

I don't believe you have to send TY notes if there is a verbal Thank You. But, I do it anyways. It's 50% b/c I am trying to be thankful; 50% to satisfy folks like the high-maintenance hens on this Board.

You sound like a high maintenance hen. Get your shit organized, get some decent stationary to keep on hand, and don't over complicate it. Good grief, never thought there would be so much whining about having to be polite and well mannered.

[Anonymous]

Dear God, people, just get over your obsession with receiving a thank you note. To defend your righteousness at not receiving a note is both ingracious and ridiculous. I've been to multiple 3 yr old parties where gifts were not opened at the party. I also did not receive a thank you note. No, I was not waiting for one, especially when my gift and presence were acknowledged when they they thanked me for coming to the party and planning such a nice time for me and my family. I've also sent some expensive wedding gifts via email and have not received a note. This, of course, is very different than a three year old's party and certainly seems negligent to me. That said, because I am polite, I would make certain that the gift was received and give the newlywed the benefit of the doubt, as that is what truly gracious people do. Just be polite and stop justifying your rude and selfishness because you are too self centered to appreciate a verbal thank you from a three year old at her party and would rather keep score using your definition of what is polite rather than appreciate the honor of being around to celebrate life events with those you love.

I think a number of the posters were of the school that a verbal thank you is fine (whether from a three year old or his or her parents). However, if the gifts were not opened at the party, the family should follow up (whether by call, email, note, or in person mention) and say thank you. Not acknowledging the gift is rude. And no, no one is waiting by their mailbox, phone, email accont with baited breath worrying about this.
Part of the problem is that you are assuming the person who didn't say thank you is one of "those you love." If a good friend or family member did not acknoweldge a gift, I would just ask, "hey did X like the blocks we got her?" to make sure they'd received it, the person would say "oh yeah, I had meant to say thanks" and we'd move on and never think of it again. However, if a famly we didn't know that well didn't say thank you in some form, I wouldn't go out of my way to get to know them better or form a closer friendship with them.

[Anonymous]

My grandmother is currently rolling over in her grave about this thread

[Anonymous]

I hate receiving thank you cards. Never know what to do. To be polite do I need to write a thank you note acknowledging the thank you card. It seems rude to not say I received it.

I wish there were no such thing as cards of any kind. I hate writing them and I hate receiving them. Doing something just because you are supposed too - like written lipservice, comes across as fake.

[Anonymous]

I don't do it because I'm supposed to. I do it because it's how I was taught to express appreciation for a kind gesture or gift. If you were taught otherwise, I don't care and you don't need to do what I was taught to do and am teaching my children to do. It's important to me but that doesn't mean it has to be important to everyone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hate receiving thank you cards. Never know what to do. To be polite do I need to write a thank you note acknowledging the thank you card. It seems rude to not say I received it.

I wish there were no such thing as cards of any kind. I hate writing them and I hate receiving them. Doing something just because you are supposed too - like written lipservice, comes across as fake.

Of course you don't have to say thank you for a thank-you card. Dumbo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree it's just a waste of paper, postage, etc. But in my opinion it's the right thing to teach kids. My kids have been writing their own thank you notes for about 2 years. They also like to receive thank notes in the mail from friends whose parties they attended.

If people want to be rude, that's fine. If people think I'm support USPS, with my $5.00 worth of stamps, than so be it~

+1

[Anonymous]

I just hate it when you send a gift in the mail, and the recipient (or their parent) can't be bothered to at least let you know they got it. Even delivery confirmation can be wrong. My SIL does this. The woman can facebook about every single detail leading up to her DD's birthday for weeks in advance, but can't drop an email to say she got the gift? I mean she pretty much tells all her friends what color her crap was this morning, but I guess she is too busy to be polite.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hate receiving thank you cards. Never know what to do. To be polite do I need to write a thank you note acknowledging the thank you card. It seems rude to not say I received it.

I wish there were no such thing as cards of any kind. I hate writing them and I hate receiving them. Doing something just because you are supposed too - like written lipservice, comes across as fake.

Is there an endless chain of thank you cards? Thanktors thanking thankees?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dear God people just send a thank you note for receiving a gift. To defend not sending a note is ridiculous. I've been to multiple 3 year old parties this year where gifts were not opened at the party. I also did not receive a thank you note. No, I was not waiting for one but would it have killed the mom or dad to acknowledge the gift we gave? I've also sent some expensive wedding gifts via mail and have not received a note. Did they get it? Did it get lost? I have no idea. Just be polite and stop justifiying your rude behaviour because your too lazy to be grateful.

This x 10000. Can't believe so many people defend bad manners, especially when the task in question - writing a quick thank you note - is so easy to accomplish. Not writing thank you notes is lazy and poor form, period. You can't defend it.

And for those who said they interview candidates for jobs and don't care if they get a note, you're in the minority. I work for a top firm and believe me, especially for internships, thank you notes (or e-mails) are tracked and circulated among the partners making the hiring decisions. So it's not just about thanking Susie-Q for her birthday gift - it's a basic life skill.

Aother hiring manager who does not care whether I get a thank you note. The only way makes a difference to me is if the interviewee uses the note to give me some new information or demonstrate some skill-based reason I should hire them. But if a strong candidate didn't send one, I wouldn't notice--and I would happily hire him/her.

[Anonymous]

I don't do it because I'm supposed to. I do it because it's how I was taught to express appreciation for a kind gesture or gift. If you were taught otherwise, I don't care and you don't need to do what I was taught to do and am teaching my children to do. It's important to me but that doesn't mean it has to be important to everyone else.

+1

You may be too rational for this thread, PP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dear God people just send a thank you note for receiving a gift. To defend not sending a note is ridiculous. I've been to multiple 3 year old parties this year where gifts were not opened at the party. I also did not receive a thank you note. No, I was not waiting for one but would it have killed the mom or dad to acknowledge the gift we gave? I've also sent some expensive wedding gifts via mail and have not received a note. Did they get it? Did it get lost? I have no idea. Just be polite and stop justifiying your rude behaviour because your too lazy to be grateful.

This x 10000. Can't believe so many people defend bad manners, especially when the task in question - writing a quick thank you note - is so easy to accomplish. Not writing thank you notes is lazy and poor form, period. You can't defend it.

And for those who said they interview candidates for jobs and don't care if they get a note, you're in the minority. I work for a top firm and believe me, especially for internships, thank you notes (or e-mails) are tracked and circulated among the partners making the hiring decisions. So it's not just about thanking Susie-Q for her birthday gift - it's a basic life skill.

Aother hiring manager who does not care whether I get a thank you note. The only way makes a difference to me is if the interviewee uses the note to give me some new information or demonstrate some skill-based reason I should hire them. But if a strong candidate didn't send one, I wouldn't notice--and I would happily hire him/her.

I hire for a lot of positions and a thank you note has never made a difference in hiring decisions. I find it difficult to believe a "top firm" would track and circulate thank you notes among the partners. Partners (or other senior managers) have far more important things to consider than a thank you note. As partner/senior manager, I would be pissed about a hiring manager's rigidity concerning the thank you note. I've never seen two identical candidates which a thank you note would serve as the tipping factor. Candidates could have identical resumes and experience but if interviews are done correctly, you should be able to determine which candidate is the better fit for your organization. If a thank you note is what you use as a deciding factor, you aren't doing your job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dear God people just send a thank you note for receiving a gift. To defend not sending a note is ridiculous. I've been to multiple 3 year old parties this year where gifts were not opened at the party. I also did not receive a thank you note. No, I was not waiting for one but would it have killed the mom or dad to acknowledge the gift we gave? I've also sent some expensive wedding gifts via mail and have not received a note. Did they get it? Did it get lost? I have no idea. Just be polite and stop justifiying your rude behaviour because your too lazy to be grateful.

Demanding a note when you've already been thanked is what's ridiculous. Sending a card conveys no more gratitude than a verbal thank you. If you sent a gift rather than delivering one, you certainly should receive an acknowledgement but just because you have a preference for the written thank you doesn't mean that it's the only acceptable method of acknowledging a gift and communicating thanks.