Did you "just know" within a few weeks of meeting someone you'd marry them?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes, this crazy spark happens. I'm 9:30 and even though I knew my DH was "the one" I had one of those sparks with a co-worker. I had to stay clear of him...like not even look at him. The feeling was clearly mutual. We still are in the same industry and when we see each other at events, it is extremely uncomfortable for both of us, but it is like we have a magnetic connection. If we are in a room of 250 people somehow we lock eyes accross the room. Both of us have families and we pretty much avoid each other.

His wife even knows something is up, he must have spoken about me because she complained about me to a mutual friend who told me about it. Sometimes in life there are people who are dangerous if you are married and it is best to ignore them and stay away, as nothing good can come of it.

I have one of those.

Except he's not married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Absolutely not, but that is not my personality. I am cautious by nature and need to analyze and think through everything--especially something as important as marriage. I would never let a hormonal surge dictate my future. Lust does not equate love.


Says somebody who's never allowed it to. Granted, you're right that it rarely works out but lust can lead to some wonderful adventures with people who will make up the majority of your memories as you get older. Some of us even had that lust turn to love turn to longtime marital commitment. You gotta take some chances if you want to be fulfilled.


I am the most analytical peron on the planet. Seriously. I analyze everything. My brain is always buzzing. I have a hard time making decisions because I weigh every single option and constantly researching, etc. But- I am guessing you haven't experienced 'the one'/true love'. I used to always ask family members, friends--'but how will you know?'. I always got the 'you just will. can't explain it' response. I was a cynic. I was hit by a lightning bolt the night I met my future husband. It was not just lust. It was profound. It was if everything I ever wanted and dreamed in my head was right there in front of me. We had a click..stupid 'soul mate' type connection, if you will. I had a serious relationship before him---he had two (not marriages) and it was nothing like those. There was no work, no thinking, things just fell into step and we were together from then on. 16 years now.

I have met my "one true love." I have been happily married for 18 years, but didn't get married until we had dated 5 years. Different strokes for different folks. The people I know who married because of a "spark" are now divorced or in miserable marriages. I don't think there is one recipe for determining if you have found the right match.

[Anonymous]

No. Dh and I went to school together from about 7th grade (he was in 8th). We had a bunch of classes together through school (our honors classes often had someone taking classes with a grade up). We were friends all through high school, but he dated the same girl through HS, and I had a few boyfriends. In the year after HS, we dated briefly, maybe 4 dates, and I blew him off as I got back together with my boyfriend. A few years later, we ran into each other in a bar. My roomie and I ended up ditching our plans, and went out with dh and his friends. We talked for a month or two after that, despite efforts to get together, and many long talks, he was avoiding a get together. Turns out, he was in the end of a relationship. After he broke it off, he called me immediately, and we started dating. (this was a good 3 years after our first brush with dating each other). About a month later, he was injured skiing, and I helped him through that. He got an out of town job a few months after that, and I was heading far away to grad school. BUT, at that point, though we did not talk marriage, we both knew, and did not hesitate to embark on a long distance relationship. We got married right after I finished grad school. It will be 13 years this summer. We are very happy, 3 kids. MIL tells me when we met (while he was in the hospital for his injury) she knew instantly.

[Anonymous]

I knew it felt different immediately-probably the day we met-but wasn't thinking marriage right away. Our friends on the other hand, started talking about us getting married right away.

[Anonymous]

Not at all. The first time we met, I wasn't even sure we would be friends because we were so different (or at least, 22 year old shallow me thought we were so different). But, we became friends very quickly (within a few days of meeting) and, within 6 months, I described him to my college roommate as my closest friend in my post-college world (didn't realize I had any feelings for him though). We started dating a few weeks after that, but neither of us thought it was serious since we still agreed we were very different (and not the people that either of us imagined ending up with!). We dated a little over a year before it got serious (although we didn't date other people during that time). We started to talking about getting married about 2 years after starting to date and moved in together the following year. Got engaged a few months after moving in together and married a year after getting engaged. We've been married for 3 years now and together for 7 years. The keys for us have been that we are still each other's best friend and our differences compliment each other.

[Anonymous]

We both had a feeling, but we were also both old enough to know that nothing is for sure - so I wanted to give it a little time before shouting it from the rooftops. We were engaged 11 months after meeting, married 7 months after that. Very happy!

[Anonymous]

My husband says he fell in love with me the day we met. For me it took longer... at least a month. We were engaged four months after first laying eyes on one another.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I was pretty sure, and so was he. On about our third date, he said, semi-jokingly, something like, "We should just go ahead and get married." And I replied, semi-jokingly, "Okay, ask me again when we live in the same city." Mind you, I was 19 and still in college; he was 22. We moved to the same city after I graduated and got married 4 years after we started dating. Happily married 10 years now.

I'm sure some people "just know" and turn out that person was most definitely NOT "the one." But it actually did happen for us!

[Anonymous]

Male, late 30s. I knew ten minutes into the first date. And I remember at the time feeling crazy or silly for thinking so. A year later, we're engaged to be married this fall and that feeling hasn't faded one bit.

OP, thanks for starting this thread. I'm happy to see that I'm not the only one who has had this experience, and that so many of you have turned it into long, lasting marriages.

[Anonymous]

Yes. Married 18 yrs. Knew when we first met and we didnt start dating til3 yrs later!

[Anonymous]

Yes, but we never got married. We are both married to other people now, but I've always felt that he was the one.

[Anonymous]

Well, sure I knew right away! Of course, she was about the 50th woman about whom I felt that way.....

[Anonymous]

so many "yes" responses don't correlate well with the 50% divorce rate in this country

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: so many "yes" responses don't correlate well with the 50% divorce rate in this country

Maybe there is another correlation to look at here.