Best return on investment: nanny, private elementary/middle/high school, or private college

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My opinion is that a nanny is not better than daycare unless you can afford it and it makes your life easier. SAH is great, but if that's not what you want to do, then daycare makes more sense to me than a nanny. Then, in this area, I'd send my kid to a good public elementary (at least try it out). Then I'd try to go public for middle and high school if possible and fund whatever college my kid wanted/could get into so they didn't have debt.

SAH is fabulous, and I do it, but in the end quality care for the first few years is the most important, and you can get that at daycare or with a nanny (although my preference would be for daycare because many nannies I see around here don't personally seem to me to be offering better care than a really good daycare). But a good nanny is nice too. Public school if it'll work for your kid is so good in so many ways.

A nanny is much better than daycare for the 5 and under crowd because the parents don't have to miss work when the kids are sick. The kids get much more individual attention, and importantly, the nanny has your detailed instructions on how the parent wants things done. Plus, a high caliber nanny does light cleaning, cooking, laundry and errands, so by definition makes your life easier than daycare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My opinion is that a nanny is not better than daycare unless you can afford it and it makes your life easier. SAH is great, but if that's not what you want to do, then daycare makes more sense to me than a nanny. Then, in this area, I'd send my kid to a good public elementary (at least try it out). Then I'd try to go public for middle and high school if possible and fund whatever college my kid wanted/could get into so they didn't have debt.

SAH is fabulous, and I do it, but in the end quality care for the first few years is the most important, and you can get that at daycare or with a nanny (although my preference would be for daycare because many nannies I see around here don't personally seem to me to be offering better care than a really good daycare). But a good nanny is nice too. Public school if it'll work for your kid is so good in so many ways.

A nanny is much better than daycare for the 5 and under crowd because the parents don't have to miss work when the kids are sick. The kids get much more individual attention, and importantly, the nanny has your detailed instructions on how the parent wants things done. Plus, a high caliber nanny does light cleaning, cooking, laundry and errands, so by definition makes your life easier than daycare.

Depends, again, on the nanny and the daycare. I had a 7 month maternity leave and when I would go on neighborhood walks, you would not believe the number of nannies who are on their cell phones oblivious to the kid. Or the ones that leave kids in swings unattended. Who knows what they do behind closed doors with no other adults around. Some nannies, OTOH, were excellent. They were incredibly loving, interactive, sing and play with the children.

As for daycares, I sent my DD to an on-site daycare because I could BF every two hours. I could pop in whenever I wanted to. I liked the fishbowl aspect to it. The head caregiver in the infant room had been there for 30 years!!! The kids seemed happy and bright. I did not like the director, but, I thought it was a small trade-off.

I don't think that there's one childcare solution that fits everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"I'm curious, how do working moms get their kids to all their after-school activities? I'm currently a stay at home mom to elementary school kids and if I worked there's no way that my husband or I could get home in time to take them to their activities. I've thought about returning to work in a few years, but this is actually one of the reasons why I am hesitant to do so."

1) some of the activities are at school;
2) the activity place picks them up at school; or
3) carpool.

Does your question mean you've never discussed logistics with any of your WOHM friends (?). Aren't you the slightest bit curious how your real life friends who work full time get their kids to activities ?

Most of the WM's that I know only work part-time and are home when their kids get out of school. The ones that I know who work full-time either do activities on Saturdays (which I prefer not to do) or have their kids go to an after school tae kwon do/daycare type of program.

[Anonymous]

"I had a 7 month maternity leave and when I would go on neighborhood walks, you would not believe the number of nannies who are on their cell phones oblivious to the kid. Or the ones that leave kids in swings unattended. Who knows what they do behind closed doors."

You would not believe the number of PARENTS who are on cell phones oblivious to the kid. Or the PARENTS that leave kids in swings unattended.

[Anonymous]

The older the better in my opinion. Not college, but middle or high school. These are the years when peers can strip away any developed resolve or discipline, so getting them in a better environment at those stages is key.

There are sooo many great public colleges out there, and by that age, kids will hopefully have the skills in place they need to succeed wherever they are. Plus, hopefully they will apply for some scholarships at that point to ease the monetary burden.

[Anonymous]

I am lucky enough to have a job where I can work shifts (Inurse), so I work three 7 pm - 7 am shifts a week, get the kids ready for school and Then catch up on sleep when they are at school. It's really the perfect

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you could only afford really high expenses for a few years, do you think it would be better to spend that money on a nanny during the infant/toddler stage, or on private school (and if so, which school years)? TIA for sharing your thoughts.

How would a nanny figure into this equation? A nanny won't give your kid any intellectual or developmental advantages over any other less expensive options. Developmentally, there is no long term advantage between SAHM, childcare, or a nanny. It just depends on your situation and how good the caregiver is. Personally, if I could only afford high expenses for a few years, I wouldn't spend it on someone to change diapers. There are many free methods to teach and develop a baby/toddler. You can usually do them yourself.

If the nanny allows the mother to work instead of staying at home, it could make a real difference. But maybe you'd do day care instead. If mom doesn't stay at home, you'd have the mom's income, some of which could go toward a 529, and possibly other early savings that would have longer to grow.

[Anonymous]

We did an expensive/excellent daycare until my youngest started Kindergarten . My kids are four school years apart. By that time my oldest was in fourth grade group and aftercare didn't work for us anymore as homework wasn't getting done until 10 pm. I was exhausted all of the time and screaming at the kids. I realized my kids needex

[Anonymous]

needed to come home after school. We found a local retired aged lady to help us. I agree with PP's who believe staying at home is more important for older kids. My kids only do weekend activities. I know we are an anomaly.

In summary, we did daycare followed by nanny/ parish private school which sucks all my take home pay. However, I am still saving for retirement and I think the kids are doing better than if I had become a SAHM. Sometimes selfishly, I wish I had been a SAHM but I think the advantage would be for me (love do cook/clean during the week) not them. I don't think we could afford the private school on one income.

At teacher conference was told younger one is at top of his class. Older one scores decently on standardized tests 90 reading and 75 math ( working with her to improve) and is getting reasonably good grades A' and a few B's.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our plan: private ps-8 to establish good study habits, love of learning. If it works and kid is a good student, good public HS. If not, private HS as well.

My parents did this with me, and several of my private school peers did the same. I got a lot out of public high school, went on to private college (could have gone to top state school instead, but opted not to) and grad school. No regrets.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think your best money spent will be on one parent staying home FT until school starts.

Agreed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

There is no argument, just your opinion which is, an opinion, and one that I couldn't disagree more with. As the parent of two high achieving, college bound teens, my kids are involved in sports, voluneering, and of course studying. We are their parents and we are there for them, but there is plenty of time for both my husband and I to pursue careers, get a healthy, homemade meal on the table that we all share every night, and be involved in their school, education, and other aspects of their life. I supposse you are planning on having your kids live with you in college (if they are college bound)?

And sorry, it's hard to breast feed your kids if they are in daycare. I have NOTHING against parents working when their kids are young and no issue with high quality care in the infant and toddler years, but there are some things that a provider can't do that a mom can. Not to mention, economically it makes more sense to not pay for infant daycare if you have the choice and desire to stay home. Stats wise, there are a lot more moms home in the early years than in the teen or elem. school years, no doubt because if my children will be out of the home between 30-40 hours anyway, I might as we well be earning a living.

You have got to be kidding me. Have you ever heard of pumping?? What exactly are those things that a provider can't do that a mom can? Other than breastfeeding though I assure you as a working mom of an EXCLUSIVELY breastfed 7 month old that our child care provider is perfectly capable of giving my daughter a bottle of breastmilk.

And all b/c there are more moms home during the early years doesn't mean that those are the crucial years to be home. I work full-time and don't really have a dog in this fight, but I have always known that it is FAR better for me to work FT now (while my kids are younger), build up my reputation and seniority and then go part time later on (when my kids are in middle school and need me more).

The early years are for building a strong foundation. Or not.

[Anonymous]

An educated and experienced nanny without a doubt is worth the investment. The first five years are the most important and the first two years contain over 80% of the brain growth and synapses.

[Anonymous]

Private high school.

Kids could always take out loans for private college and grad school.

[Anonymous]

How does one measure the "return on investment" in one's children?