high schools where smart kids aren't considered nerds & can be popular?

[Anonymous]

I did quite well in my mixed gender science and math in school as a child - it never occurred to me that I should worry about the boys and I did better than 99% of them anyway. And I held student government positions too. and I ended up in a very math driven, male predominant career.

I can see the advantages of the single-sex set up for some children but like everything else, it depends on the child and I wouldn't presume in advance that my DC would "need" that unless there were indications. Not to say there aren't other reasons one might like a single sex environment for their child...or that a parent or child might love a school that, by the way, happens to be a single sex one.

[Anonymous]

This post kind of misses the point. You can be smart and nerdy at almost any school in the area if you have strong social skills. That said, Landon and Prep place a huge emphasis on athletics and have less tolerance for ecentric kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think for kids, especially from grades 3 - 8, popular is a LOADED word. My children have never attended a school (public or private) where academic achievement was not celebrated. I will agree that some extremely bright kids have to work on their social skills. And while there are popular kids who are popular simply because they are nice and fun kids that people want to hang with, often, especially in the early years kids are deemed popular due to their behavior that reflects pop culture. Often times this also includes being exposed to entertainment and such that is actually not meant for someone their age. Not a good thing.

I agree with this. I'm almost ashamed to admit that I've lightened up on exposure to pop culture and entertainment with my 7 year old, just because I don't want him to feel like an outsider at school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The co-ed private schools are less likely to have bullies and mean girl/boy behavior than the single sex schools.

Disagree strongly with this blanket statement. Despite the stereotypes, I've actually found single-sex schools to be less clique-ish than coed schools. Students are less concerned with impressing the opposite sex, who's dating who, etc.

This isn't true. I have a DD in high school and there are specific packs of girls at all the single sex schools. Party girls who sometimes intersect Some "packs" are very social and hook-up or link-up with groups of guys from various boys schools. They defend their turf and get ugly when a guy strays from the pack to a random girl who most boy parents would consider girlfriend material. These packs are pretty wild-hard drinking by some but the key for membership is promiscuous random behavior.

The quoted post does apply to many girls at these single sex schools but it is erroneous to assume the ho packs are not in existence.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a now-grown smart kid, no offense, but duh, smart kids aren't ever popular (unless they are also good at athletics).

I mean, "popular" = "thought of highly by your peers" and in this case, the peers are not-as-bright children. Children, even bright ones, aren't known for their judgment or taste!

I was never unpopular, but I was never in the "in" crowd -- which I'm sure my parents were happy about, considering that was the group that partied, drank, got in trouble, etc, and I and my friends were very tame. We had a good time and I'm still very close to them (and we're still nerds, but now we have the perspective to know we're cool!)

Ditto. The smart kids usually don't choose to participate in the B.S. required to be popular.

Why does the OP care?

I am frustrated by the attitude that 'duh, smart kids are never cool' I went to one of three New York City HS that you had to test into. Intelligence and academic achievement were the running expectations, and so we were freed up to be ourselves outside of that. We hailed from every walk of life, and all parts of the city.We won national academic competitions were an athletic powerhouse. Very many of my friends who would have been judged to be popular and cool by any school's standards have gone on to be PhDs in physics and chemistry, medical doctors, engineers, business leaders, etc.. Even the not-so-cool who excelled academically were also respected.

As a new parent, I look around DC and with the exception of exclusive corners of NW, struggle to find the experience that I had. I shudder to think of all of the smart yet so-called "cool" and even "not-so-cool kids" in the District who by virtue of their parents income alone, are stuck in an environment that at best segregates them into the mutually exclusive pots of the cool and dumb or the smart (hopefully) and isolated; and at worst, throws the smart kids willing to forgo coolness altogether, to the wolves of low expectations, -violence and indifference.

[Anonymous]

Take a look at Stone Ridge School of the Sacred Heart.

[Anonymous]

OP,
Smart is the new cool.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think for kids, especially from grades 3 - 8, popular is a LOADED word. My children have never attended a school (public or private) where academic achievement was not celebrated. I will agree that some extremely bright kids have to work on their social skills. And while there are popular kids who are popular simply because they are nice and fun kids that people want to hang with, often, especially in the early years kids are deemed popular due to their behavior that reflects pop culture. Often times this also includes being exposed to entertainment and such that is actually not meant for someone their age. Not a good thing.

I agree with this. I'm almost ashamed to admit that I've lightened up on exposure to pop culture and entertainment with my 7 year old, just because I don't want him to feel like an outsider at school.

I did the same thing and I truly regret it.

[Anonymous]

Any of the co-ed schools values intelligence strongly. Looks and athletics all play a part but the smart kids with good social skills play a strong role in the school. There are always kids who are very intelligent but lack social skills and they will find their way but high school may not be their stage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I am frustrated by the attitude that 'duh, smart kids are never cool' I went to one of three New York City HS that you had to test into. Intelligence and academic achievement were the running expectations, and so we were freed up to be ourselves outside of that. We hailed from every walk of life, and all parts of the city.We won national academic competitions were an athletic powerhouse. Very many of my friends who would have been judged to be popular and cool by any school's standards have gone on to be PhDs in physics and chemistry, medical doctors, engineers, business leaders, etc.. Even the not-so-cool who excelled academically were also respected.

As a new parent, I look around DC and with the exception of exclusive corners of NW, struggle to find the experience that I had. I shudder to think of all of the smart yet so-called "cool" and even "not-so-cool kids" in the District who by virtue of their parents income alone, are stuck in an environment that at best segregates them into the mutually exclusive pots of the cool and dumb or the smart (hopefully) and isolated; and at worst, throws the smart kids willing to forgo coolness altogether, to the wolves of low expectations, -violence and indifference.

This is the thing: you went to a school that kids tested into, so "smart" was a given. If this is the experience you want for your kid, then try the test-in magnets in VA or MoCo. At the Takoma math/science magnets, the cool kids don't just have the Rubiks cube, they have an "asian speed cube." I kid you not, and they bring these cubes to school. And many of these kids are without doubt "cool" on other dimensions like having cool clothes, or being good at sports.

When you talk about DC, I can't tell if you're talking about publics or privates. However, I also believe there's a niche for smart kids at many area publics and privates. That's what MS and HS are about: cliques and groups of different kids of kids. I agree, there are some schools in DC where being smart and being cool are probably mutually exclusive. But these are not going to compare to your test-in school in NYC, and I don't know why you would expect them to.

[Anonymous]

9:21, you are comparing your test-in NYC school to regular DC public schools.

A fairer comparison would be between regular NYC schools and regular DC schools.

If you want the test-in experience, you need to move to VA or MoCo for a magnet program, or maybe find one of the better DC charter schools.

[Anonymous]

Didn't the OP just ask for school names or ideas?
How about some other school suggestions?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The co-ed private schools are less likely to have bullies and mean girl/boy behavior than the single sex schools.

Disagree strongly with this blanket statement. Despite the stereotypes, I've actually found single-sex schools to be less clique-ish than coed schools. Students are less concerned with impressing the opposite sex, who's dating who, etc.

This isn't true. I have a DD in high school and there are specific packs of girls at all the single sex schools. Party girls who sometimes intersect Some "packs" are very social and hook-up or link-up with groups of guys from various boys schools. They defend their turf and get ugly when a guy strays from the pack to a random girl who most boy parents would consider girlfriend material. These packs are pretty wild-hard drinking by some but the key for membership is promiscuous random behavior.

The quoted post does apply to many girls at these single sex schools but it is erroneous to assume the ho packs are not in existence.

Nobody said ho packs don't exist in all sorts of environments. The point was that the first PP said co-ed schools are LESS likely than single-sex schools to have bullies and mean girls/ho packs, and this just isn't true.

[Anonymous]

Well, I disagree. My personal experience in both single sex and co-ed environments is that co-ed creates a better social dynamic. I'm not saying that you don't have mean girl behavior in co-ed private schools, there is no question about that. But generally, girls and boys are less focused on the survival of the fittest mentality because it is diluted by other issues. Co-ed is generally more democratic by nature, removing some of the hierachy of the single-sex experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Didn't the OP just ask for school names or ideas?
How about some other school suggestions?

OP here. Thank you for redirecting. I skimmed this thread and found only a couple of specific school suggestions. To be more clear -- I am not looking for a place where my child will be popular. I am looking for a place where being smart doesn't automatically exclude one from becoming popular, where there are some smart kids who are popular, and where "smart" accomplishments are as valued as "social" or "athletic" accomplishments. (Where winning a writing contest is valued as much as throwing the winning touchdown.)

To those PPs who focused on how the real problem is that smart kids need to learn social skills, are not popular because they look down on others, have weird interests, or become socially inept adults -- thanks for reinforcing the same kinds of stigmas that smart kids usually face. My child has social skills -- she has friends from all walks, she gets invited to parties, she has a crush on someone else and someone has a crush on her, etc. And frankly, she has better social skills than some (but not all) of the kids whom she describes as "popular" at school, who engage in mean girl behavior and are quite shallow.

I don't necessarily place a value on being popular. I agree with some PPs who say not being the most popular has a somewhat protective effect. I was a smart kid with a small, supportive circle of long-term friends, and I think not being among the most popular definitely relieved the pressure when it came to issues like academic performance, sexuality, drugs, drinking, etc. But I am pained by the way that my child seems to be constructing a self-image based on her school environment where "smart" and "social" are at irreconcilable odds -- where being smart seems to mean that the larger population automatically excludes you without knowing you.