Very controversial question but hoping it can stay on the tracks….

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:all the research is extremely clear that spanking is ineffective and detrimental to the child.

signed, a child psychologist

You should know as a child psychologist that the research doesn't show that a handful of spankings in a child's life is detrimental to the child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My older brother was physically punished (spanked with a belt) for getting Bs instead of all As in school. He grew up to be a heroin addict in college and is now a middle-aged alcoholic with a dissociative personality disorder. I don’t know what else our parents did in order to raise a kid they could be proud of, but they effed him up for life. I remember being spanked by my father once because my sister was bullying me and I was crying loudly enough to wake him up from his nap. It was hard enough that I fell on the bed. This is one of the few early memories I have. This stuff is traumatizing.

Sorry, this is not spanking for discipline. This is bad parenting and abuse to cow down the kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My older brother was physically punished (spanked with a belt) for getting Bs instead of all As in school. He grew up to be a heroin addict in college and is now a middle-aged alcoholic with a dissociative personality disorder. I don’t know what else our parents did in order to raise a kid they could be proud of, but they effed him up for life. I remember being spanked by my father once because my sister was bullying me and I was crying loudly enough to wake him up from his nap. It was hard enough that I fell on the bed. This is one of the few early memories I have. This stuff is traumatizing.

Sorry, this is not spanking for discipline. This is bad parenting and abuse to cow down the kid.

But it's what some bad parents call "spanking".

[Anonymous]

Lol weak ass parents here defending spanking. Get prepared for no-contact. And remember one day you will be old and unreasonable. We'll see how your spanked kids treat you then

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Spanking….i know it’s controversial, and I’m not looking to start a debate. I know, because I have searched and see quite a few admit to spanking there kids when needed. So I’m not asking if you agree with it or not, I’m asking if those that do, would provide a little basic info of what works for you. My just finished 1st grade boy is driving us mad. He is disrespectful, mouthy, and doesn’t listen, we have tried all kind of punishments and we are ready to try spanking. Neither my husband or I was spanked growing up and you can’t just google this topic or you get all kinda gross and very obviously fake, or I hope they are fake answers. So what has worked for you in regards to a spanking. We plan to have another heart to heart with him this weekend and explain that this will now be a consequence when he has bad behavior.

Take a parenting class, but don’t hit your child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a teacher. If you do this, then he will begin hitting the kids in his class. I see it often, and I can tell how kids interact with their parents based on seeing how they interact with other kids.

This. And then you spank them to punish them and the cycle continues.

[Anonymous]

I generally view spanking as lazy parenting and parents who do so as unintelligent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Spanking….i know it’s controversial, and I’m not looking to start a debate. I know, because I have searched and see quite a few admit to spanking there kids when needed. So I’m not asking if you agree with it or not, I’m asking if those that do, would provide a little basic info of what works for you. My just finished 1st grade boy is driving us mad. He is disrespectful, mouthy, and doesn’t listen, we have tried all kind of punishments and we are ready to try spanking. Neither my husband or I was spanked growing up and you can’t just google this topic or you get all kinda gross and very obviously fake, or I hope they are fake answers. So what has worked for you in regards to a spanking. We plan to have another heart to heart with him this weekend and explain that this will now be a consequence when he has bad behavior.

Your child behaves this way because of you get parenting help

Don’t come on to social media and think it is ok to ever raise a hand to a child

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My older brother was physically punished (spanked with a belt) for getting Bs instead of all As in school. He grew up to be a heroin addict in college and is now a middle-aged alcoholic with a dissociative personality disorder. I don’t know what else our parents did in order to raise a kid they could be proud of, but they effed him up for life. I remember being spanked by my father once because my sister was bullying me and I was crying loudly enough to wake him up from his nap. It was hard enough that I fell on the bed. This is one of the few early memories I have. This stuff is traumatizing.

Sorry, this is not spanking for discipline. This is bad parenting and abuse to cow down the kid.

Spanking is to cow down the kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:all the research is extremely clear that spanking is ineffective and detrimental to the child.

signed, a child psychologist

You should know as a child psychologist that the research doesn't show that a handful of spankings in a child's life is detrimental to the child.

Honestly, it depends on the culture. I have never spanked my kids and won't. But I come from a culture where most parents do. I'm sure there are abusive parents in that mix but generally, kids are spanked a handful of times a year, if that. And it stops once the kid gets older. Not saying it's ok, as I said, I won't be doing it. My mom did it when angry and not in a planned way. But I don't feel like I was abused, and most people I grew up with don't feel that way either. It was just a normal type of discipline, like time outs. I still think it's wrong and don't see how you have a home where some people (parents) get to hit others and others (the kids) shouldn't. Feels icky and gross but plenty of people come out of it ok. But. I'm sure it would be different if I grew up in a culture where no one but me was getting spanked!

[Anonymous]

No OP! This is not the way. There are ways to get compliance without beating your child. Reward and compliment your child for the good things he does. Does he hold the railing when he goes up and down the stairs? Good job Jonnie for holding the railing. You and your husband need to change your behaviors. It is not just your child. Physical punishment is NOT the way to go. Go get parent training. It will change your life and you will see there is no need to spank. EVER!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most of the replies here are idiotic. Spanking can absolutely be used as part of a broader parenting scheme. Your problem is that your kid is already pretty old to start spanking. You also don't mention what other punishments you have tried already - spanking should never be the first step, not even the second... spanking is the "ultimate" punishment and is meant to show your kid that they really messed up. Have you put the kid in a corner or made them sit quietly on a step or a chair, something mild, but boring should always be the primary punishment (once you get to the point of having to punish). Realistically this should have been started with a much younger child, and the spank would have been very mild.. now the kid is older and a mild spank will do nothing.

+1 agree.

All you "omg you're gonna scar the kid for life" are being ridiculous. No pediatrician will tell you that a couple of spanks when your kid was young is going to scar him for life.

It's the repeated spanking for every single little thing, the go to punishment with anger and screaming that can scar a child. Not the handful of spanking.

You people are ridiculous.

Some of us aim a little higher than "not scarring our children for life," but I guess you don't.

Agree. I don't want my child to be scared for life, but a couple of spanks in a child's life won't "scar the child for life".

How do you know??

[Anonymous]

OP, please try behavioral modification and discipline that addresses the specific issue, combined with time set aside for child-centered play. You will see a real change. Do not use violence

[Anonymous]

As an adult survivor of physical and emotional abuse, know this, OP: we will never forget, and we will never truly forgive. If you choose to damage a child, you choose to permanently damage your relationship with that child.

[Anonymous]

If he's already noncompliant and you start getting physical with him, don't come on here crying when he starts physically hurting you!