Anyone actually leave the DC Rat Race?!?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, are you sure your DH doesn't need to change jobs or fields? Could he really be a bigger fish in a smaller pond in the Pacific NW?

OP here, thanks for all the interesting comments everyone.

DH is an attorney--one of many dime a dozen Harvard JDs here, and has a job that I think many would kill for. However, I think that what upsets him is that it is just too difficult to get away from ambition here. I do think that DH has a competitive streak, and that doesn't help, even though he wants to slow down and live somewhere where he doesn't have to live among gunners all the time. I do think in most cities outside of the major urban areas, his background and experience would enable him to be a bigger fish.

[Anonymous]

17:45

Your husband might like Seattle, then. I get the feeling many folks work from home and/or spend as much time thinking about ways to spend their liesure time (kyaking, hiking, skiing, whatever) as they do outpacing their law firm partners.

Of course, cultures vary between law firms, so choose wiesly.

I know someone who left the DC race to go to a smaller town in VT. He had all the credentials etc etc, and feels a bit like he's bailed on his potential. However, he undeniably feels like it was a good move for himself and his family.

So pros and cons. You gain one thing when you give up something else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, are you sure your DH doesn't need to change jobs or fields? Could he really be a bigger fish in a smaller pond in the Pacific NW?

OP here, thanks for all the interesting comments everyone.

DH is an attorney--one of many dime a dozen Harvard JDs here, and has a job that I think many would kill for. However, I think that what upsets him is that it is just too difficult to get away from ambition here. I do think that DH has a competitive streak, and that doesn't help, even though he wants to slow down and live somewhere where he doesn't have to live among gunners all the time. I do think in most cities outside of the major urban areas, his background and experience would enable him to be a bigger fish.

Interesting! I think he might find that his Harvard JD goes further in another city. And depending on his specialty, his experience may play remarkably well in another location, too. If he's even the least bit curious, he should check the Harvard Law alumni board (and the alumni board for his undergrad school) for alums in some of the cities that interest you all. It's amazing what a little old fashioned research and network can yield. (This goes for all of us -- not just the Harvards!)

I definitely relate to the desire to escape (or at least reduce) the gunners and seemingly endless ambition around you. For some who consider making a big change, there's a concern that they'd be "selling themselves short" or "not living up to their potential" or "closing doors" or similar. But in my experience those concerns -- if they exist at all -- are way stronger on the front end for most people (as they're considering/planning a move) than they are after they make a move. I can't say my sample is statistically significant or anything like that, but from what I've seen people who listen to their guts are happy after the change and instead ask themselves why they didn't do it sooner!

[Anonymous]

OP, I would figure out what your job options are, and more importantly where those options are, and then start planning from there.

My DH and I moved from double biglaw jobs to the midwest. We live in a college town, so there are a lot of highly educated people here to socialize with. I work part-time, and he works about 9-5. Cost of living is incredible. We have time with the family, which was our goal. The schools are good. We are very happy with our choice.

[Anonymous]

19:59, what town? I posted earlier that we have an opportunity in the midwest too, and it is in a college town, but I'm reluctant b/c there are far fewer school options than there are here. Do you use public school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Um... I left the rat race, but stayed in DC.

This is an option. I took a 50% pay cut and moved from a job I hated working long hours (BigLaw) and became a government lawyer. I will never be the general counsel of a fortune 500 company, but I now realize I wouldn't want to be. I live in Vienna, work flexible hours so my commute really isn't that bad, have nice colleagues, my kids go to public school. I shop at Target, Old Navy, and only occasionally Ann Taylor. My nails haven't seen a manicure in 5 years. I get $40 haircuts and skip the highlights (even though I really like them). I have time (since I'm not working or commuting all the time) to participate in two sports that I love (both just on a recreational 2-3 time a week schedule). My neighborhood has lots of nice people, and I avoid the "Joneses". I'm very good at a few things, and I've embraced my mediocrity in everything else. And I'm happy.

Just another perspective.

PP, you sound really cool but unfortunately for me (and I suspect many) this is just not an option. I can't afford Ann Taylor clothes even only occassionally and I am in the midst of the rat race. I would seriously like to leave this area. For the poster moving back to WNY -- hurray! That's where I'd like to move back to (my family is there).