Anyone actually leave the DC Rat Race?!?

[Anonymous]

14:46 & 15:29 are on the money.

People are free to voice their opinions. D.C. is not the be all and end all to most people, thankfully. One of the biggest misconceptions of the locals is that if you are not "from here" than you must be from a "small town". Just one aspect of the narrow mindedness some can't wait to escape!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The cultural impoverishment of people across great swathes of this country is a sad fact of life. Of course there are exceptions, but they are few are far between.

The fact is that the majority of upper-middle class people in DC have travelled abroad, have some knowledge of world events, and have read for pleasure. People read the New Yorker etc. Once you get away from the handful of similar - mostly liberal - places you are met with a wall of ignorance. People are generally very friendly, but they get their views from Fox news and their church, and tend to have a very limited world view.

You are calling other people ignorant? Oh the irony is killing me!

Am I going to have to poor a bucket of water on you two. Stop fighting, girls!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And don't forget how easy it is to find folks that are both educated AND ignorant in big cities

Yep. As scary as stereotypical redneck members of the KKK with the I'm right attitude. Only difference is one group thinks they are right based on God and the other thinks they are right based on learned, superior reasoning. The outliers sometimes mirror one another.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And don't forget how easy it is to find folks that are both educated AND ignorant in big cities

Yep. As scary as stereotypical redneck members of the KKK with the I'm right attitude. Only difference is one group thinks they are right based on God and the other thinks they are right based on learned, superior reasoning. The outliers sometimes mirror one another.

New poster. Completely agree with this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Um... I left the rat race, but stayed in DC.

This is an option. I took a 50% pay cut and moved from a job I hated working long hours (BigLaw) and became a government lawyer. I will never be the general counsel of a fortune 500 company, but I now realize I wouldn't want to be. I live in Vienna, work flexible hours so my commute really isn't that bad, have nice colleagues, my kids go to public school. I shop at Target, Old Navy, and only occasionally Ann Taylor. My nails haven't seen a manicure in 5 years. I get $40 haircuts and skip the highlights (even though I really like them). I have time (since I'm not working or commuting all the time) to participate in two sports that I love (both just on a recreational 2-3 time a week schedule). My neighborhood has lots of nice people, and I avoid the "Joneses". I'm very good at a few things, and I've embraced my mediocrity in everything else. And I'm happy.

Just another perspective.

I like you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Both DH and I are originally from Alabama. We've lived in DC off and on for the past 9 years. We attempted to move away in 2006 when we were relocated to Raleigh, NC (which we absolutely LOVED!!!) only to be transferred back to the DC area. We'd leave tomorrow if we could.

We're actually toying with the idea of moving to NC to be closer to family, somewhere in the RDU triangle area. Honestly, the main reason keeping us here are the schools - how did you find the schools there? Any areas that you would recommend? TIA!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Um... I left the rat race, but stayed in DC.

This is an option. I took a 50% pay cut and moved from a job I hated working long hours (BigLaw) and became a government lawyer. I will never be the general counsel of a fortune 500 company, but I now realize I wouldn't want to be. I live in Vienna, work flexible hours so my commute really isn't that bad, have nice colleagues, my kids go to public school. I shop at Target, Old Navy, and only occasionally Ann Taylor. My nails haven't seen a manicure in 5 years. I get $40 haircuts and skip the highlights (even though I really like them). I have time (since I'm not working or commuting all the time) to participate in two sports that I love (both just on a recreational 2-3 time a week schedule). My neighborhood has lots of nice people, and I avoid the "Joneses". I'm very good at a few things, and I've embraced my mediocrity in everything else. And I'm happy.

Just another perspective.

I like you.

Ditto. We are in similar situations (except I didn't give up quite so much, just the "average" stressful, F/T job to another "average", P/T job). Older, smaller house, no frills, nannies, cleaning service, landscapers, but lots of quality time with the kids. Most of my friends would also fall into this category. Which is probably why they are my friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And don't forget how easy it is to find folks that are both educated AND ignorant in big cities

Yep. As scary as stereotypical redneck members of the KKK with the I'm right attitude. Only difference is one group thinks they are right based on God and the other thinks they are right based on learned, superior reasoning. The outliers sometimes mirror one another.

New poster. Completely agree with this.

Another new poster. Yes, thank you, I completely agree with this, too. I have been stunned by how truly narrow minded some people are here, when those same people seem to pride themselves on being open minded and liberal.

[Anonymous]

You still have to make a living. Pointless moving to a lower-stress, smaller city only to lose your job 2-3 years down the road, and the cities with plentiful jobs are also very crowded. OTOH, they are new and that appeals to folks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Um... I left the rat race, but stayed in DC.

This is an option. I took a 50% pay cut and moved from a job I hated working long hours (BigLaw) and became a government lawyer. I will never be the general counsel of a fortune 500 company, but I now realize I wouldn't want to be. I live in Vienna, work flexible hours so my commute really isn't that bad, have nice colleagues, my kids go to public school. I shop at Target, Old Navy, and only occasionally Ann Taylor. My nails haven't seen a manicure in 5 years. I get $40 haircuts and skip the highlights (even though I really like them). I have time (since I'm not working or commuting all the time) to participate in two sports that I love (both just on a recreational 2-3 time a week schedule). My neighborhood has lots of nice people, and I avoid the "Joneses". I'm very good at a few things, and I've embraced my mediocrity in everything else. And I'm happy.

Just another perspective.

I like you.

Me, too! If we were staying in DC, I would hope to meet more people like you. Not everyone around here is a stressed out, over-committed downer!

That said, we'll soon be moving to Western NY. We're eager to be close to our extended family, and we look forward to a more relaxed pace of life. Sure, I agree with PP that the relaxed pace is certainly possible here in DC. But for the next phase of our lives, we feel more comfortable living in a community where that is more the norm rather than the exception. Of course, tThe (much) lower cost of living helps enormously.

As for the idea that you can not find educated, interesting, worldly people outside a handful of large cities . . . that's just insane. We're moving to a university town with a diverse professional community and fabulous public schools. Our friends there are very smart and very engaged in the world, in part because they the have time to do so - they're not working 60-80 hours a week. Aside from the long winters, we're really looking forward to it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:14:46 & 15:29 are on the money.

People are free to voice their opinions. D.C. is not the be all and end all to most people, thankfully. One of the biggest misconceptions of the locals is that if you are not "from here" than you must be from a "small town". Just one aspect of the narrow mindedness some can't wait to escape!

I'm not from here and quite frankly, most professionals I've worked with are not from here. I'm from CA and I don't necessarily assume that people are from small towns, but I do assume that they are from places where the cost of living is quite low, i.e. Midwest. When I moved out here 15 years ago, people were complaining about how expensive things were here; from a CA POV, I thought it was pretty cheap. That was 15 years ago. Now, it's probably on par with SoCal, but still a little cheaper than NoCal.

[Anonymous]

For those who have successfully made the move, do you have any advice on how to structure it? We know we'd like to leave, but it's overwhelming to think about conducting two jub hunts in multiple different cites around the country. Did yo ujust start with a few target locations for the primary breadwinner? Did you already know where you wanted to land? We have too many permutations to know where to begin. Thanks!

[Anonymous]

OP, are you sure your DH doesn't need to change jobs or fields? Could he really be a bigger fish in a smaller pond in the Pacific NW?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For those who have successfully made the move, do you have any advice on how to structure it? We know we'd like to leave, but it's overwhelming to think about conducting two jub hunts in multiple different cites around the country. Did yo ujust start with a few target locations for the primary breadwinner? Did you already know where you wanted to land? We have too many permutations to know where to begin. Thanks!

You could start out by choosing a place where you really want to be, whether it is because of location (near to family, scenery, weather etc), job opportunities, cost of living, lifestyle, pace or what have you. And then consider if you could find a good job there-your skills match the needs of employers located there. I think that would help convince employers why you would be a good candidate because you not only have the skills but have a desire to relocate and live there on a more than temporary basis.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For those who have successfully made the move, do you have any advice on how to structure it? We know we'd like to leave, but it's overwhelming to think about conducting two jub hunts in multiple different cites around the country. Did yo ujust start with a few target locations for the primary breadwinner? Did you already know where you wanted to land? We have too many permutations to know where to begin. Thanks!

You could start out by choosing a place where you really want to be, whether it is because of location (near to family, scenery, weather etc), job opportunities, cost of living, lifestyle, pace or what have you. And then consider if you could find a good job there-your skills match the needs of employers located there. I think that would help convince employers why you would be a good candidate because you not only have the skills but have a desire to relocate and live there on a more than temporary basis.

I agree this is a good way to start. Pick some target locations that really appeal to you and then do some networking/research to see if there's a possible job match. The other option is to explore whether one or even both of you might be able to work remotely for your current employer, either on a permanent basis or on a contract basis in the transition. It would definitely help take the edge off the first year, and I think employers are often more open to this than people realize.