Do you think it is better to live in a neighborhood full of kids or be sheltered?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Two or more things can be true at the same time. People can form relationships outside of their immediate neighborhood. There’s a great big world out there and in that world there are people that differ from your preferences, your background, your expectations, your experiences, your judgment, your beliefs etc…

Of course, but the ppl in our neighborhood are not a monolith either. Same with other ways I've made friends - kids school, work, activities ,etc.

Sure they’re not all umc crackers

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well now this thread is making me feel bad because our neighborhood is all empty nesters and older kids and there is nothing I can do about that. I didn't think it was such a big deal I should move. Kids have never complained and see their friends at school all the time - I just have to drive. Maybe this is a problem I didn't realize???

I think that kids are ok in that situation, but I do think it's great if they can have the whole neighborhood scene. Glad your kids are happy though

I think it’s more about being in a walking neighborhood than friends nearby. I’ve lived in both type of neighborhoods but being able to walk places with your little kids is much better. You just leave the house and start moving.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We currently live in a neighborhood with large lots and children are mostly older. The neighborhood consists of wealthy families and kids attend various private schools. We have the opportunity to move to a neighborhood with a street full of kids, walkable to a playground, restaurants and library.

I am really torn because I have one kid who will likely go out ALL the time. Currently, all play dates have to be organized by parents. My three kids all have many activities and sports. They all have friends, just not neighborhood friends.

Oh please. You’ve always had the opportunity to live in a neighborhood full of kids with walkable amenities. You chose an isolated neighborhood. Some people like to be isolated and go from front door to car without ever seeing another person. Others thrive with having people around them and the ability to get up and walk everywhere.

What is the upside to children living on a street where you never see another person?

OP here. We moved to this giant house because I had ailing parents. We wanted enough space that they could visit us comfortably. For a few years, this worked well. DH also likes cars and wanted an upgrade from our previous 2 car garage.

I did want a walkable area. Walkable areas don’t also have 3+ car garages and 6+ bedrooms. We are a five minute drive to stores so not exactly in a rural area. Every house has kids. They just are either grown or teenagers. There are some kids but they attend various private schools.

I feel like I host a lot of play dates because I have to invite the kids over. The kids come when invited but it has to be planned in advance.

DH seems to think there is nothing wrong with having a schedule where kids play sports and have occasional play dates. He grew up in a roaming neighborhood where they would ride bikes and play video games.

[Anonymous]

Are your kids happy? Or you happy? Do they have opportunities for independence?

You might have to be more intentional about giving kids independence, but if you like your house, then it’s fine. Plenty of kids grow up not walkable to other kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are your kids happy? Or you happy? Do they have opportunities for independence?

You might have to be more intentional about giving kids independence, but if you like your house, then it’s fine. Plenty of kids grow up not walkable to other kids.

I think kids can get used to anything, but i think kids being near other kids is ideal, I wouldn't purposely make my kids live where there are no other kids, no matter how much i like my house

[Anonymous]

Not OP but have a genuine question— if you live in an area where your kids are out playing with friends most of the time, how do you balance this with family time? Do you feel like you sacrifice time with your kids or do you feel like it’s easy to find an equilibrium? I have family who chose a rural location because they really valued keeping the kids/family close, but I really see the down and upside of this. At the same time, I would not like to spend very little time with my kids. I know there can be a balance— just wondering what it looks like in neighborhoods where kids are out by themselves a lot of the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not OP but have a genuine question— if you live in an area where your kids are out playing with friends most of the time, how do you balance this with family time? Do you feel like you sacrifice time with your kids or do you feel like it’s easy to find an equilibrium? I have family who chose a rural location because they really valued keeping the kids/family close, but I really see the down and upside of this. At the same time, I would not like to spend very little time with my kids. I know there can be a balance— just wondering what it looks like in neighborhoods where kids are out by themselves a lot of the time.

Families makes plans, the kids know certain days and time they have family plans. If home early, they go outside to see friends

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We live in a neighborhood with tons of kids. Houses range from $700-$2million. It’s amazing. They are pretty free range - bike riding, fishing, walking to 711 with friends. On the weekends I usually have to text my oldest on her watch (she is 11) and tell her to come home for dinner. It’s great.

I wouldn't say houses in my immediately neighborhood go up to $2million but this sounds like Fort Hunt.

+1, it does. Be forewarned, it’s not all suburban utopia. I live in the area and some neighborhoods, including mine are incredibly cliquey and there is a great deal of child and parent drama with such close proximity. I wish I had more space as a result.

[Anonymous]

And not all kids are ones you want yours to play with. I still vote neighborhood, but if think the kids will all be meeting up everyday like The Sandlot, you’re likely dreaming. One or two good neighborhood friends I think is what you hope for!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not OP but have a genuine question— if you live in an area where your kids are out playing with friends most of the time, how do you balance this with family time? Do you feel like you sacrifice time with your kids or do you feel like it’s easy to find an equilibrium? I have family who chose a rural location because they really valued keeping the kids/family close, but I really see the down and upside of this. At the same time, I would not like to spend very little time with my kids. I know there can be a balance— just wondering what it looks like in neighborhoods where kids are out by themselves a lot of the time.

I just step out on my front porch and call them in when it’s time for dinner or whatever. They have Gizmo watches so we can track/message them if not right in sight. And while the doorbell rings sometimes, a lot of it is just the kids impromptu going outside when they see other kids outside. If we have plans my kids don’t go out to join.

Also they have plenty of scheduled activities too (we try to go watch their sports games as a family), we do family movie nights, take family vacations over long weekends and breaks, etc.

[Anonymous]

I’ll add ^^ I think because we don’t force our kids to be with family all the time they actually want to hang out with us. They get tons of time with friends and DH and I do social stuff too. Our oldest will start 7th grade next fall though, so I’m not sure how much longer this will last, but for now he and his younger siblings still ask to do stuff together (movies, going out for ice cream, family bike rides, etc.)

[Anonymous]

I think it depends. We had a bunch of kids down the street who were often out playing together. My kid had no interest whatsoever in hanging out with any of them.

[Anonymous]

I don't think it needs to be a huge group, but I think the benefits outweigh the negatives. Yes, it might not last ir all kids don't get along, but i don't think those are reasons not live in a neighborhood of kids. It also doesn't hinder family time or independence.

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous]I think it depends. We had a bunch of kids down the street who were often out playing together. My kid had no interest whatsoever in hanging out with any of them. [/quote]

No interest in playing with any of them? Not even one? I find that hard to believe.

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think it depends. We had a bunch of kids down the street who were often out playing together. My kid had no interest whatsoever in hanging out with any of them. [/quote]
No interest in playing with any of them? Not even one? I find that hard to believe.[/quote] Nope. Not even one. I suggested it many times but he just didn't want to. Not a big deal. He had plenty of friends from school and sports.