Do you think it is better to live in a neighborhood full of kids or be sheltered?

[Anonymous]

We currently live in a neighborhood with large lots and children are mostly older. The neighborhood consists of wealthy families and kids attend various private schools. We have the opportunity to move to a neighborhood with a street full of kids, walkable to a playground, restaurants and library.

I am really torn because I have one kid who will likely go out ALL the time. Currently, all play dates have to be organized by parents. My three kids all have many activities and sports. They all have friends, just not neighborhood friends.

[Anonymous]

You are also wealthy.

[Anonymous]

How old are your kids?
Will they have to change schools if you move?
Will they go to the neighborhood school with the neighborhood kids?
How much downtime do they have that they'd be in the neighborhood? (ie, do they do aftercare and lots of weekend activities, or do they come home after school and have a lot of weekend free time?)

My kids grew up in a neighborhood with no kids and they survived, but I do wish they had had more kids around to play with.

[Anonymous]

We live in a neighborhood with tons of kids. Houses range from $700-$2million. It’s amazing. They are pretty free range - bike riding, fishing, walking to 711 with friends. On the weekends I usually have to text my oldest on her watch (she is 11) and tell her to come home for dinner. It’s great.

[Anonymous]

Neighborhood friends kind of peter off around middle school when kids get really busy.

We live in a neighborhood with lots of kids and three out of my four kids didn't really connect with another neighborhood kid, but my daughter's best friend lives across the street.

My neighborhood does have a Halloween event, and other social things throughout the year, and that makes it feel nice and "old fashioned." We like that vibe. Maybe that would be a good reason to move?

In terms of sheltering your kids, you can still be on top of where they are hanging out and be very selective with sleep overs. You pretty much have until middle school to "set" their moral compass. Most people we've encountered with all our kids were good people who supervised appropriately. You can be wary, but connection is really important for this generation.

[Anonymous]

It doesn't matter socially as long your kids feel they have enough friends.

Raising kids in a walkable neighborhood is literally an obstacle to them learning to drive.

I have a 17 year old and 20 year old who don't have driver's licenses yet. There are pros and cons to this. I still need to teach the 20 year old to parallel park well enough to pass our licensing exam. He needs to drive by junior year of college to get access to good internships.

[Anonymous]

We live in a suburban neighborhood where all the kids go to FCPS public school. There are sidewalks, trails, playgrounds, and neighborhood pool.

My kids are now teenagers but we moved here when they were toddlers. It has been wonderful. They know so many kids in the neighborhood. They have roamed around to the playgrounds and pool with friends. It has made for a wonderful childhood for my kids and I really recommend it if possible.

Previous posters said the kids aren’t friends by teenagers, but that hasn’t proven true for my kids, and another poster said the kids don’t get their licenses, but I don’t see that in our neighborhood at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We live in a neighborhood with tons of kids. Houses range from $700-$2million. It’s amazing. They are pretty free range - bike riding, fishing, walking to 711 with friends. On the weekends I usually have to text my oldest on her watch (she is 11) and tell her to come home for dinner. It’s great.

+1 this is our neighborhood minus the fishing. Small lots so neighbors are nearby. They bike, play in each other's yards unstructured, older kids walk to the pool together. Our kids hang out with their neighborhoods friends like that multiple times a week. It's amazing and a big part of their childhood. We can also walk to school so a lot of families have that connection too.

It's very localized in terms of kid ages though. So if you move make sure there actually are going to be that age of kids and that vibe that you're seeking.

[Anonymous]

I think it’s great to grow up in an area where kids aren’t in a very easy distance. It helps children set boundaries, manage time. Play dates can be arranged with clear time frames. I wouldn’t call it “sheltered”. I call it family focused.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s great to grow up in an area where kids aren’t in a very easy distance. It helps children set boundaries, manage time. Play dates can be arranged with clear time frames. I wouldn’t call it “sheltered”. I call it family focused.

It can also be called having controlling, helicopter parents.

[Anonymous]

I say it's better to be in a neighborhood full of kids. I grew up in the country and didn't have many kids to play with, and it was fine, but I missed having kids nearby. We live in a townhouse, with lots of kids really close and they're outside together all the time. I prefer what we have now to what I grew up with.

[Anonymous]

I grew up in a neighborhood with big houses on large lots. My older siblings mostly grew up in a neighborhood with smaller houses/small lots/more of a neighborhood vibe. My parents always said they felt bad we did not have that.

Now that I am a parent, living in a tight neighborhood with lots of kids, I tend to agree that’s the better set up. Especially from 4-15 they were out playing with friends in the neighborhood all the time, rode their bikes to practice and the pool and first jobs, and enjoyed freedom and independence that was great for building their confidence and ability to navigate the world. My husband and I talk often about how lucky we are that they’ve had this community to grow up in. My sisters kids are the same age, and grew up in a much fancier house in a more isolated neighborhood like the one I grew up in, and it kind of sucks for them. They need rides to do anything, can’t really independently plan anything themselves, and I think it’s a major factor contributing to their high levels of anxiety. Growing up in a lovely home on a couple acres, at first moving into our dense, older neighborhood felt like a downgrade to me but 15 years later I think it’s one of the best things we did for our kids.

[Anonymous]

There are both advantages and disadvantages to either of those.

[Anonymous]

My oldest is 16 and he regularly hangs out with the surrounding three teens of similar age. He also has other friends, a job, and activities. It’s a great set up. On a random Thursday they can walk across the street and hang out for a bit and then come back.

[Anonymous]

That's a no brainer if the lots are still big on the potential street. What's the problem? I wish our street had children out playing, would be so much better for physical and mental health.