Did you upgrade your engagement ring?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Gross.

Also, 1.5 carats is big.

Also, get a job.

Also, gross.

Sounds like an older, working mom who got engaged to the last man possible with .5 carat engagement ring has entered the chat.

Signed,
Happy stay at home wife who married at 21, never worked outside the house, and has 2 vacation homes and 3 adult children now.

[Anonymous]

Nope. I never wanted an engagement ring. I wanted a house. I sure would like to upgrade my house.

[Anonymous]

No, I stopped wearing mine.

The diamond engagement ring was invented to sell diamonds. After I learned that, the idea of an engagement ring that was invented just to make a business profitable felt really hollow to me.

I then inherited a diamond engagement ring (and perhaps a ring that was for engagement that has a red stone) and don't wear those either.

I hardly ever notice rings on people's hands. So, if you are looking to impress people, keep in mind that a lot of us will not notice.

[Anonymous]

I downgraded mine.

Most days I wear a plain white gold wedding band. My engagement ring is a beautiful, sparkly 1 ct diamond with a pavé band. I love it, but for daily life it’s too fancy.

Over the years I bought myself some Brutalist rings that I regularly wear on my ring finger. They are statement pieces: bold, spiked, full of personality.

[Anonymous]

My mom did this. She bought herself a 3 carat diamond because she always wanted a large one and Dad had given her his first (deceased) wife's smaller diamond ring. Funny, it doesn't make her happy because she knows it wasn't a natural diamond. Waste of money.

[Anonymous]

I upgraded it several times but never lab. I only wear antiques.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op - I do love my original ring. I just sometimes feel out of place when I am around my DH’s work colleagues and their wives. He is in big law/tech sort of job so everyone makes $$$.

Perhaps instead I will get a ring for my right hand or I was thinking of just getting a big chunky eternity ring to wear to alternate between the two.

Firm events, people hosting parties, weddings, sporting events, conferences etc.


You're going to get a bigger ring because other people have bigger rings? Please just donate your money to a charity and call it a day.

My spouse is a big law partner. I don’t even wear my engagement ring. I have a very narrow platinum band and that’s it. I don’t think anyone cares, at least in big law. The days of that stuff mattering are long done. I don’t know about the tech wives!

My wife is a big law partner and those pay far more attention to handbags than they do rings.

BigLaw wife partner. Where are the wives seeing each other? I never see the other spouses. We aren’t invited to the holiday party and the partner that used to throw the nice summer party moved away. I have two purses — one I bought on Amazon and one I got at a little place in Rome for like $150. I have literally never noticed what purse another woman is carrying. I’m a law firm partner as well, but not big law. The times I’ve met spouses, I did not get the sense that anyone cared about stuff like jewelry or purses. It is a real mix of other lawyers, feds, non profit types, a few mostly older stay at home moms who seemed pretty laid back and mote worried about where there kids were playing a club sport or gojng to college than jewelry.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I upgraded, which is normal in my circles. DH is the one who brought it up and pushed me to do it. I love the ring!

Do what makes you happy, OP. Ignore the haters - they swarm around anyone doing anything that’s not practical or thrifty.

[Anonymous]

For day to day, I just wear my gold wedding band. It's a slim band with a unique filigree design.

I've never wanted a diamond solitaire and I refuse to play the "whose ring is biggest" or "whose ring is most tasteful" game at all. It's a game you literally cannot win.

For context, I'm a SAHM and DH is a CTO who makes 750k a year. We sometimes socialize with his company's CEO who is an actual billionaire. I also have friends who are struggling to make ends meet and sometimes volunteer with immigrants affected by ICE oppression. I'm not going to attempt to try to keep up with billionaire bling and I wouldn't want to make anyone else feel less than by casually wearing jewelry worth an amount that could change their life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op - I do love my original ring. I just sometimes feel out of place when I am around my DH’s work colleagues and their wives. He is in big law/tech sort of job so everyone makes $$$.

Perhaps instead I will get a ring for my right hand or I was thinking of just getting a big chunky eternity ring to wear to alternate between the two.

You do know nobody’s comparing rings, right?

They absolutely do.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I upgraded, which is normal in my circles. DH is the one who brought it up and pushed me to do it. I love the ring!

Do what makes you happy, OP. Ignore the haters - they swarm around anyone doing anything that’s not practical or thrifty.

It's not uncommon to upgrade at a milestone wedding anniversary.

[Anonymous]

No, never had an urge but I also have no desire to wear jewelry that could attract criminals to snatch it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, never had an urge but I also have no desire to wear jewelry that could attract criminals to snatch it.

The only incidents reported in the news have been necklaces taken by professional thieves trying to give older women free unwanted cheap necklaces and taking their valuable ones at the same time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I didn't- as I love it and it's a larger size. I don't judge anyone redoing their settings or upgrading. It's just a piece of jewelry, in the end.

My .02: I do prefer natural diamonds, so I don't purchase lab diamonds, and I would never swap a good quality smaller diamond for a lab diamond, personally. In your case, if you want lab diamonds I'd rather do another eternity band with larger stones- but honestly I'd just do it in CZs as I feel the same about them as I do about lab diamonds. They look good enough and if you don't care, don't bother paying more for lab.

Don't say that outloud, pp. My friend's DD was so mortified that her mom told me that she got a CZ rather than a lab grown diamond that she made her call me up right away and set it straight. The young women care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op - I do love my original ring. I just sometimes feel out of place when I am around my DH’s work colleagues and their wives. He is in big law/tech sort of job so everyone makes $$$.

Perhaps instead I will get a ring for my right hand or I was thinking of just getting a big chunky eternity ring to wear to alternate between the two.

You're going to get a bigger ring because other people have bigger rings? Please just donate your money to a charity and call it a day.

My spouse is a big law partner. I don’t even wear my engagement ring. I have a very narrow platinum band and that’s it. I don’t think anyone cares, at least in big law. The days of that stuff mattering are long done. I don’t know about the tech wives!

Tech wife here… tech employees are all about FAT FIRE so no bling for us.