Did you upgrade your engagement ring?

[Anonymous]

We were poor so my ring was a plain gold band. At 33 years DH and I picked out a 1.5 ct. center stone and two .25 ct. side stones. It doesn’t look that large on my very big hands. I love it.

[Anonymous]

Hahaha, I barely remember to even wear my engagement ring, but I don't really care what other people think about my jewelry so maybe that's why? Nobody is going to look at your ring, OP. Nobody cares.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op - I do love my original ring. I just sometimes feel out of place when I am around my DH’s work colleagues and their wives. He is in big law/tech sort of job so everyone makes $$$.

Perhaps instead I will get a ring for my right hand or I was thinking of just getting a big chunky eternity ring to wear to alternate between the two.

You're going to get a bigger ring because other people have bigger rings? Please just donate your money to a charity and call it a day.

[Anonymous]

I think you should ask yourself if a bigger ring would actually bring you more joy. No one in those circles is judging the size of your ring. One of the wealthiest partners I know (dual big law partner couple, no kids), wears a half carat ring. But casually drops 50k+ on paintings. Ring size just doesn’t matter to anyone except yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op - I do love my original ring. I just sometimes feel out of place when I am around my DH’s work colleagues and their wives. He is in big law/tech sort of job so everyone makes $$$.

Perhaps instead I will get a ring for my right hand or I was thinking of just getting a big chunky eternity ring to wear to alternate between the two.

I'm a lawyer/tech person myself and I find this attitude of wives wanting to show off kind of funny because the women who work in these fields don't do that. And we're the ones making the money.

It reminds me of when my Dad was a Navy officer and some of the wives would try to use their husband's rank, including over female officers.

I know what you’re talking about. But I think it’s that the MEN often like their women having some bling. The most dramatic are definitely the second wives, or really anyone who met their law firm partner spouse after the man was making $$$. I think the couples who have been together a long time are less likely to have that dynamic.

Also the female partners I know often do like a little bling in the form of handbags or occasional expensive jewelry, but they don’t want to look like they’re dripping in money because that’s a bad look professionally with clients.

I think the advantage of getting an anniversary / right hand ring is you can just wear the more modest wedding ring if you don’t want to look flashy, even if you mostly wear both rings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op - I do love my original ring. I just sometimes feel out of place when I am around my DH’s work colleagues and their wives. He is in big law/tech sort of job so everyone makes $$$.

Perhaps instead I will get a ring for my right hand or I was thinking of just getting a big chunky eternity ring to wear to alternate between the two.

You're going to get a bigger ring because other people have bigger rings? Please just donate your money to a charity and call it a day.

My spouse is a big law partner. I don’t even wear my engagement ring. I have a very narrow platinum band and that’s it. I don’t think anyone cares, at least in big law. The days of that stuff mattering are long done. I don’t know about the tech wives!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op - I do love my original ring. I just sometimes feel out of place when I am around my DH’s work colleagues and their wives. He is in big law/tech sort of job so everyone makes $$$.

Perhaps instead I will get a ring for my right hand or I was thinking of just getting a big chunky eternity ring to wear to alternate between the two.

You're going to get a bigger ring because other people have bigger rings? Please just donate your money to a charity and call it a day.

My spouse is a big law partner. I don’t even wear my engagement ring. I have a very narrow platinum band and that’s it. I don’t think anyone cares, at least in big law. The days of that stuff mattering are long done. I don’t know about the tech wives!

My wife is a big law partner and those pay far more attention to handbags than they do rings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op - I do love my original ring. I just sometimes feel out of place when I am around my DH’s work colleagues and their wives. He is in big law/tech sort of job so everyone makes $$$.

Perhaps instead I will get a ring for my right hand or I was thinking of just getting a big chunky eternity ring to wear to alternate between the two.

You're going to get a bigger ring because other people have bigger rings? Please just donate your money to a charity and call it a day.

My spouse is a big law partner. I don’t even wear my engagement ring. I have a very narrow platinum band and that’s it. I don’t think anyone cares, at least in big law. The days of that stuff mattering are long done. I don’t know about the tech wives!

My wife is a big law partner and those pay far more attention to handbags than they do rings.

BigLaw wife partner. Where are the wives seeing each other? I never see the other spouses. We aren’t invited to the holiday party and the partner that used to throw the nice summer party moved away. I have two purses — one I bought on Amazon and one I got at a little place in Rome for like $150. I have literally never noticed what purse another woman is carrying. I’m a law firm partner as well, but not big law. The times I’ve met spouses, I did not get the sense that anyone cared about stuff like jewelry or purses. It is a real mix of other lawyers, feds, non profit types, a few mostly older stay at home moms who seemed pretty laid back and mote worried about where there kids were playing a club sport or gojng to college than jewelry.

[Anonymous]

I have 1 carat yellow gold Tiffany solitaire and still wear it daily 27 years later. I can certainly upgrade to real 2-3 carat, but have absolutely no desire to do that. Get yourself a nice watch or another piece of jewerly from Cartier or Graff and enjoy your ring as a memory of your engagement and new piece of jewerly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have had my engagement ring for 16 years. Well before the lab diamond craze. It’s a 1.25 carat diamond with a 1 carat eternity band. I wear it with two more eternity bands. We got it when we were young and poor (26 and no real job).

Now with all of the lab diamonds and the large rings I sort of want to upgrade my engagement ring. But I wonder if that is tacky to replace the mined diamond with a larger lab grown diamond. Thoughts?

I think it's tacky to replace a momenta of a once in a lifetime memory, even if you replace it with world's largest mined diamond.

[Anonymous]

*memento

[Anonymous]

I didn't- as I love it and it's a larger size. I don't judge anyone redoing their settings or upgrading. It's just a piece of jewelry, in the end.

My .02: I do prefer natural diamonds, so I don't purchase lab diamonds, and I would never swap a good quality smaller diamond for a lab diamond, personally. In your case, if you want lab diamonds I'd rather do another eternity band with larger stones- but honestly I'd just do it in CZs as I feel the same about them as I do about lab diamonds. They look good enough and if you don't care, don't bother paying more for lab.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have had my engagement ring for 16 years. Well before the lab diamond craze. It’s a 1.25 carat diamond with a 1 carat eternity band. I wear it with two more eternity bands. We got it when we were young and poor (26 and no real job).

Now with all of the lab diamonds and the large rings I sort of want to upgrade my engagement ring. But I wonder if that is tacky to replace the mined diamond with a larger lab grown diamond. Thoughts?

I think it's tacky to replace a momenta of a once in a lifetime memory, even if you replace it with world's largest mined diamond.

That’s my feeling but then I can’t get past buying a 1.25 carat ring when you are 26 with no real job.

[Anonymous]

I still have my original ring as it is a rather large european cut diamond set in an art deco setting. But yes, now I have 3 or 5 other rings I rotate through when I want. Seems normal in my circle. People evolve; tastes change. It's nice to be able to afford other styles, shapes, colors and cuts of diamonds/gemstones.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have had my engagement ring for 16 years. Well before the lab diamond craze. It’s a 1.25 carat diamond with a 1 carat eternity band. I wear it with two more eternity bands. We got it when we were young and poor (26 and no real job).

Now with all of the lab diamonds and the large rings I sort of want to upgrade my engagement ring. But I wonder if that is tacky to replace the mined diamond with a larger lab grown diamond. Thoughts?

I think it's tacky to replace a momenta of a once in a lifetime memory, even if you replace it with world's largest mined diamond.

That’s my feeling but then I can’t get past buying a 1.25 carat ring when you are 26 with no real job.

1.25 is very small and affordable, to be honest.