People who don't save for retirement

[Anonymous]

A close friend of mine in her mid-50s has nothing saved for retirement and lives paycheck to paycheck. She has worked in a high-paying job for her entire career, has no children (so no associated costs of child care or children's expenses), and has never owned property, so while not building equity, also has no home repair and maintenance costs and minimal furnishing costs. She treats shopping as a hobby and seems to be uncomfortable if money sits in her checking account too long without spending it. I have tried talking to her about making a plan so she has choices and does not need to work the rest of her life, but it has not been successful. I worry about what she will do in the future.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I used to manage a couple of people who worked way too long because they had to. One issue affecting both of them was having to give half their pension and/or SS to an ex after divorce. I think this affects many people and leaves them with much less in old age.

SS is never given to an ex, at least not directly.
Maybe it’s used to cover their settlement agreement amount but they need to go to court and review it.
Workaholics or those who are afraid to become irrelevant if they stop working often use it as an excuse.
They either “have to pay their ex wife” or “have to support their young adult kids”.

My parents divorced after 13 years of marriage when I was little. After my dad died and my mom retired, she collected his SS for years before she started collecting her own.

https://share.google/gbQpN3AIcQKB4OBlS

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I used to manage a couple of people who worked way too long because they had to. One issue affecting both of them was having to give half their pension and/or SS to an ex after divorce. I think this affects many people and leaves them with much less in old age.

SS is never given to an ex, at least not directly.
Maybe it’s used to cover their settlement agreement amount but they need to go to court and review it.
Workaholics or those who are afraid to become irrelevant if they stop working often use it as an excuse.
They either “have to pay their ex wife” or “have to support their young adult kids”.

Not true. If you are married at least 10 years before you divorce and do not remarry, you may be entitled to your ex's social security. My sister deliberately waited until year 11 to separate for this reason (this is in Virginia).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A close friend of mine in her mid-50s has nothing saved for retirement and lives paycheck to paycheck. She has worked in a high-paying job for her entire career, has no children (so no associated costs of child care or children's expenses), and has never owned property, so while not building equity, also has no home repair and maintenance costs and minimal furnishing costs. She treats shopping as a hobby and seems to be uncomfortable if money sits in her checking account too long without spending it. I have tried talking to her about making a plan so she has choices and does not need to work the rest of her life, but it has not been successful. I worry about what she will do in the future.

She should move to CA, apply to an income restricted housing complex (she’ll be under limit even with her high SS benefit), she’ll pay around 2k and have another 2k to live on. She’ll even be able to get Medicaid with a share of cost (which is then eliminated or reduced) and care giving hrs from the state.
She can then split the hrs with her caregiver or just have a caregiver for free
She’ll be fine

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I used to manage a couple of people who worked way too long because they had to. One issue affecting both of them was having to give half their pension and/or SS to an ex after divorce. I think this affects many people and leaves them with much less in old age.

SS is never given to an ex, at least not directly.
Maybe it’s used to cover their settlement agreement amount but they need to go to court and review it.
Workaholics or those who are afraid to become irrelevant if they stop working often use it as an excuse.
They either “have to pay their ex wife” or “have to support their young adult kids”.

Not true. If you are married at least 10 years before you divorce and do not remarry, you may be entitled to your ex's social security. My sister deliberately waited until year 11 to separate for this reason (this is in Virginia).

It doesn’t come out of your ex’s SS benefit! The govt pays it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I used to manage a couple of people who worked way too long because they had to. One issue affecting both of them was having to give half their pension and/or SS to an ex after divorce. I think this affects many people and leaves them with much less in old age.

SS is never given to an ex, at least not directly.
Maybe it’s used to cover their settlement agreement amount but they need to go to court and review it.
Workaholics or those who are afraid to become irrelevant if they stop working often use it as an excuse.
They either “have to pay their ex wife” or “have to support their young adult kids”.

My parents divorced after 13 years of marriage when I was little. After my dad died and my mom retired, she collected his SS for years before she started collecting her own.

https://share.google/gbQpN3AIcQKB4OBlS

Well did it come out of your dad’s pocket directly? NO
that’s what I am talking about

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I used to manage a couple of people who worked way too long because they had to. One issue affecting both of them was having to give half their pension and/or SS to an ex after divorce. I think this affects many people and leaves them with much less in old age.

SS is never given to an ex, at least not directly.
Maybe it’s used to cover their settlement agreement amount but they need to go to court and review it.
Workaholics or those who are afraid to become irrelevant if they stop working often use it as an excuse.
They either “have to pay their ex wife” or “have to support their young adult kids”.

Same pp here,
What I meant was that SS benefit from your ex never comes out of your ex’s pocket. It’s always the SSA that pays it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I used to manage a couple of people who worked way too long because they had to. One issue affecting both of them was having to give half their pension and/or SS to an ex after divorce. I think this affects many people and leaves them with much less in old age.

SS is never given to an ex, at least not directly.
Maybe it’s used to cover their settlement agreement amount but they need to go to court and review it.
Workaholics or those who are afraid to become irrelevant if they stop working often use it as an excuse.
They either “have to pay their ex wife” or “have to support their young adult kids”.

Same pp here,
What I meant was that SS benefit from your ex never comes out of your ex’s pocket. It’s always the SSA that pays it

But the ex paid into SS from their paycheck for many years.

I knew a firefighter and a teacher whose exes got part of their pensions. (They both had been married over ten years.) The teacher was pretty broke in her older age. She went to live with her son and his family and babysat for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I used to manage a couple of people who worked way too long because they had to. One issue affecting both of them was having to give half their pension and/or SS to an ex after divorce. I think this affects many people and leaves them with much less in old age.

SS is never given to an ex, at least not directly.
Maybe it’s used to cover their settlement agreement amount but they need to go to court and review it.
Workaholics or those who are afraid to become irrelevant if they stop working often use it as an excuse.
They either “have to pay their ex wife” or “have to support their young adult kids”.

Same pp here,
What I meant was that SS benefit from your ex never comes out of your ex’s pocket. It’s always the SSA that pays it

It reduces what they will get in SS payments so in a sense they are "paying" but it's also sour grapes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A close friend of mine in her mid-50s has nothing saved for retirement and lives paycheck to paycheck. She has worked in a high-paying job for her entire career, has no children (so no associated costs of child care or children's expenses), and has never owned property, so while not building equity, also has no home repair and maintenance costs and minimal furnishing costs. She treats shopping as a hobby and seems to be uncomfortable if money sits in her checking account too long without spending it. I have tried talking to her about making a plan so she has choices and does not need to work the rest of her life, but it has not been successful. I worry about what she will do in the future.

She should move to CA, apply to an income restricted housing complex (she’ll be under limit even with her high SS benefit), she’ll pay around 2k and have another 2k to live on. She’ll even be able to get Medicaid with a share of cost (which is then eliminated or reduced) and care giving hrs from the state.
She can then split the hrs with her caregiver or just have a caregiver for free
She’ll be fine

Good luck with that. The wait for housing assistance in CA is many years. In the meantime, rent is exorbitant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I used to manage a couple of people who worked way too long because they had to. One issue affecting both of them was having to give half their pension and/or SS to an ex after divorce. I think this affects many people and leaves them with much less in old age.

SS is never given to an ex, at least not directly.
Maybe it’s used to cover their settlement agreement amount but they need to go to court and review it.
Workaholics or those who are afraid to become irrelevant if they stop working often use it as an excuse.
They either “have to pay their ex wife” or “have to support their young adult kids”.

My parents divorced after 13 years of marriage when I was little. After my dad died and my mom retired, she collected his SS for years before she started collecting her own.

https://share.google/gbQpN3AIcQKB4OBlS

Well did it come out of your dad’s pocket directly? NO
that’s what I am talking about

It reduced the amount his second wife received.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I used to manage a couple of people who worked way too long because they had to. One issue affecting both of them was having to give half their pension and/or SS to an ex after divorce. I think this affects many people and leaves them with much less in old age.

SS is never given to an ex, at least not directly.
Maybe it’s used to cover their settlement agreement amount but they need to go to court and review it.
Workaholics or those who are afraid to become irrelevant if they stop working often use it as an excuse.
They either “have to pay their ex wife” or “have to support their young adult kids”.

Same pp here,
What I meant was that SS benefit from your ex never comes out of your ex’s pocket. It’s always the SSA that pays it

But the ex paid into SS from their paycheck for many years.

I knew a firefighter and a teacher whose exes got part of their pensions. (They both had been married over ten years.) The teacher was pretty broke in her older age. She went to live with her son and his family and babysat for them.

I don’t know anything about pensions but SS benefit is not reduced when someone divorces. The SAH spouse gets a freebie from the govt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A close friend of mine in her mid-50s has nothing saved for retirement and lives paycheck to paycheck. She has worked in a high-paying job for her entire career, has no children (so no associated costs of child care or children's expenses), and has never owned property, so while not building equity, also has no home repair and maintenance costs and minimal furnishing costs. She treats shopping as a hobby and seems to be uncomfortable if money sits in her checking account too long without spending it. I have tried talking to her about making a plan so she has choices and does not need to work the rest of her life, but it has not been successful. I worry about what she will do in the future.

She should move to CA, apply to an income restricted housing complex (she’ll be under limit even with her high SS benefit), she’ll pay around 2k and have another 2k to live on. She’ll even be able to get Medicaid with a share of cost (which is then eliminated or reduced) and care giving hrs from the state.
She can then split the hrs with her caregiver or just have a caregiver for free
She’ll be fine

Good luck with that. The wait for housing assistance in CA is many years. In the meantime, rent is exorbitant.

Not true. You are talking about vouchers which let you pay 30% of your income.
Meanwhile, there are programs that let you pay less than market rate but still a substantial amount, like $1700 vs 2500.
These are fairly easy to get

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I used to manage a couple of people who worked way too long because they had to. One issue affecting both of them was having to give half their pension and/or SS to an ex after divorce. I think this affects many people and leaves them with much less in old age.

SS is never given to an ex, at least not directly.
Maybe it’s used to cover their settlement agreement amount but they need to go to court and review it.
Workaholics or those who are afraid to become irrelevant if they stop working often use it as an excuse.
They either “have to pay their ex wife” or “have to support their young adult kids”.

My parents divorced after 13 years of marriage when I was little. After my dad died and my mom retired, she collected his SS for years before she started collecting her own.

https://share.google/gbQpN3AIcQKB4OBlS

Well did it come out of your dad’s pocket directly? NO
that’s what I am talking about

It reduced the amount his second wife received.

We weren’t talking about second wives

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I used to manage a couple of people who worked way too long because they had to. One issue affecting both of them was having to give half their pension and/or SS to an ex after divorce. I think this affects many people and leaves them with much less in old age.

SS is never given to an ex, at least not directly.
Maybe it’s used to cover their settlement agreement amount but they need to go to court and review it.
Workaholics or those who are afraid to become irrelevant if they stop working often use it as an excuse.
They either “have to pay their ex wife” or “have to support their young adult kids”.

Same pp here,
What I meant was that SS benefit from your ex never comes out of your ex’s pocket. It’s always the SSA that pays it

It reduces what they will get in SS payments so in a sense they are "paying" but it's also sour grapes.

No it does not! They get their SS benefit in full