People who don't save for retirement

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What are people who don’t make enough to live supposed to do? It’s a privilege to save for retirement. It really is.

Asian American here. I was a child of immigrants. DH and I support my parents and his mom. We know many adult Asian Americans supporting their elderly parents. It is actually quite common.

Do you feel resentful about this? Genuinely curious.

No, I’m not resentful at all. They moved to this country and did the best they could. I always had housing and food. It isn’t like they spent frivolously and wasted money. They just never had money.

I’m surprised at Americans who seem to be able to turn their backs on their family.

Same. And just as bad are the ones who feel resentful. My father died young leaving my mother with teenagers and a paid for house. Once I had kids she babysat and wouldn’t take a dime. She would stay at our house on weekends when my husband and I went away. I would leave cash for her and the kids on the table but she never used it. She would come over early before the kids got out of school and would do the laundry, make the beds. And So much more. She’s older now and I’ll be there for her whatever it takes.

I think sometimes adults forget what their parents did for them. Or they will pick some rough times in their childhood to use as excuses not to help. They sleep better when they put the blame on someone else.

Your mom sounds amazing and I can understand why you want to help her in return. But in my experience this is far from the norm.

Many of us have to pay for that kind of help so we can maintain our careers. All that money your mom wouldn’t accept is more money you have to help her out someday. But most dual working families are trying to use their money to make their lives manageable, have no emergency family backup for anything, no one to come do their laundry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What are people who don’t make enough to live supposed to do? It’s a privilege to save for retirement. It really is.

Asian American here. I was a child of immigrants. DH and I support my parents and his mom. We know many adult Asian Americans supporting their elderly parents. It is actually quite common.

I know. I wish more people would do that. We see the Asian families shopping and they are almost always three generations. It helps the elder to be healthier and happier.

I think this depends on the younger people having enough money to do this, though. I worry about my parents and especially my disabled adult sibling who lives with them, in a very small town with few jobs hundreds of miles from DC.

We bought our current home thinking it would be a starter house, so we definitely weren't planning for an "aging in place" setup. We don't have a shower on the first floor, 3 beds and only the tiniest one with no closet on the first floor. We really definitely can't fit 3 more adults who all have their own larger bedrooms in their big rural home. But we also can't just quit our jobs and go live with them.

I do worry about this. They're not interested in moving or downsizing. We can't afford a huge house or early retirement to go move to their small town where we only know them. So what's the strategy here?