Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It's validating to hear that other DCPS families have made career sacrifices to handle kid's schedules. At our elementary I often feel like the only mom who has a "mommy track" job to accommodate this stuff and sometimes feel judged for it.
But most families we know either have family help or some kind of at-home childcare (nanny, au pair) and those weren't an option for us so I downshifted at work. It's not ideal and I miss working in an office and being FT (and making more money). I guess I'm glad I'm still working in my field at all. It's hard.
We know so many DCPS families where one parent has an extremely flexible schedule -- contract work, independent wealth, part time work (even if the part time work seems lucrative, like law). And, SAH parents. Maybe the first category seems less visible but that's why they family is less stressed.
I stepped back to project-based work when I had kids, and my husband I think still doesn't realize how many gaps I fill in throughout the year. He was stunned by the "80 days" number for example.
There are so many parents (usually moms) who are consulting or doing some other non-full-time work. I have heard it referred to as a 9-1 job. I haven’t been able to figure out anything like this for myself despite thinking about it for years. The nature of our lawyer jobs allow us to do a fair amount of work asynchronously, so that helps, but it would be an immense help to have one of us not working full time if we could figure out a workable model where the PT person actually made meaningful income. But we still have made it work to be around more in the afternoons because of remote and hybrid schedules, and being willing to have one of us catch up on work in the evenings or weekends.
Echoing what others have said about the benefit to middle to upper elementary kids. Being around in the afternoon, making sure they are on top of schoolwork, volunteering at their extracurriculars, etc makes a huge difference. Both of our kids are doing far better in school and in general now that we have made an effort to have one of us around in the late afternoon and making sacrifices at work to do it, instead of having them in aftercare until 6 everyday like we used to.
I am the parent with the PT/flexible job and I think the thing people don't understand is that I have had to redefine what "meaningful income" means. I have a graduate degree and 20+ years of experience in my field. My income is usually between 25-40k each year. My hourly rate is high but the nature of contract work is that it comes and goes. I could make more if I was salaried but PT, and I've been looking for a job like that for a while, but most employers hiring someone like me either want someone full time or they want me FT on a temporary basis.
Also while my spouse makes decent money, he's not like a super high earner. Our HHI is right around 200k annually. Not terrible but not wealthy. We'd definitely prefer for me to be making more. But then we'd have to spend a lot more money on aftercare, camps, outsourcing household stuff, etc. And I'd lose the time with my kids which I really value. It's a very hard tradeoff to make and it's very personal.
I know there are people working PT or flexible jobs who make more than me, but I actually think my situation is more common. People just don't talk about what it really means to work freelance or contract type jobs. Especially when the whole point is to free up afternoons and random days off -- you will be leaving money on the table. If I was making more like 80-90k, this wouldn't feel like such a severe compromise, but at least for now, it really is.
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