Wow planning care during school holidays and closure

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's validating to hear that other DCPS families have made career sacrifices to handle kid's schedules. At our elementary I often feel like the only mom who has a "mommy track" job to accommodate this stuff and sometimes feel judged for it.

But most families we know either have family help or some kind of at-home childcare (nanny, au pair) and those weren't an option for us so I downshifted at work. It's not ideal and I miss working in an office and being FT (and making more money). I guess I'm glad I'm still working in my field at all. It's hard.

We know so many DCPS families where one parent has an extremely flexible schedule -- contract work, independent wealth, part time work (even if the part time work seems lucrative, like law). And, SAH parents. Maybe the first category seems less visible but that's why they family is less stressed.

I stepped back to project-based work when I had kids, and my husband I think still doesn't realize how many gaps I fill in throughout the year. He was stunned by the "80 days" number for example.

There are so many parents (usually moms) who are consulting or doing some other non-full-time work. I have heard it referred to as a 9-1 job. I haven’t been able to figure out anything like this for myself despite thinking about it for years. The nature of our lawyer jobs allow us to do a fair amount of work asynchronously, so that helps, but it would be an immense help to have one of us not working full time if we could figure out a workable model where the PT person actually made meaningful income. But we still have made it work to be around more in the afternoons because of remote and hybrid schedules, and being willing to have one of us catch up on work in the evenings or weekends.

Echoing what others have said about the benefit to middle to upper elementary kids. Being around in the afternoon, making sure they are on top of schoolwork, volunteering at their extracurriculars, etc makes a huge difference. Both of our kids are doing far better in school and in general now that we have made an effort to have one of us around in the late afternoon and making sacrifices at work to do it, instead of having them in aftercare until 6 everyday like we used to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's validating to hear that other DCPS families have made career sacrifices to handle kid's schedules. At our elementary I often feel like the only mom who has a "mommy track" job to accommodate this stuff and sometimes feel judged for it.

But most families we know either have family help or some kind of at-home childcare (nanny, au pair) and those weren't an option for us so I downshifted at work. It's not ideal and I miss working in an office and being FT (and making more money). I guess I'm glad I'm still working in my field at all. It's hard.

We know so many DCPS families where one parent has an extremely flexible schedule -- contract work, independent wealth, part time work (even if the part time work seems lucrative, like law). And, SAH parents. Maybe the first category seems less visible but that's why they family is less stressed.

I stepped back to project-based work when I had kids, and my husband I think still doesn't realize how many gaps I fill in throughout the year. He was stunned by the "80 days" number for example.

There are so many parents (usually moms) who are consulting or doing some other non-full-time work. I have heard it referred to as a 9-1 job. I haven’t been able to figure out anything like this for myself despite thinking about it for years. The nature of our lawyer jobs allow us to do a fair amount of work asynchronously, so that helps, but it would be an immense help to have one of us not working full time if we could figure out a workable model where the PT person actually made meaningful income. But we still have made it work to be around more in the afternoons because of remote and hybrid schedules, and being willing to have one of us catch up on work in the evenings or weekends.

Echoing what others have said about the benefit to middle to upper elementary kids. Being around in the afternoon, making sure they are on top of schoolwork, volunteering at their extracurriculars, etc makes a huge difference. Both of our kids are doing far better in school and in general now that we have made an effort to have one of us around in the late afternoon and making sacrifices at work to do it, instead of having them in aftercare until 6 everyday like we used to.

I am the parent with the PT/flexible job and I think the thing people don't understand is that I have had to redefine what "meaningful income" means. I have a graduate degree and 20+ years of experience in my field. My income is usually between 25-40k each year. My hourly rate is high but the nature of contract work is that it comes and goes. I could make more if I was salaried but PT, and I've been looking for a job like that for a while, but most employers hiring someone like me either want someone full time or they want me FT on a temporary basis.

Also while my spouse makes decent money, he's not like a super high earner. Our HHI is right around 200k annually. Not terrible but not wealthy. We'd definitely prefer for me to be making more. But then we'd have to spend a lot more money on aftercare, camps, outsourcing household stuff, etc. And I'd lose the time with my kids which I really value. It's a very hard tradeoff to make and it's very personal.

I know there are people working PT or flexible jobs who make more than me, but I actually think my situation is more common. People just don't talk about what it really means to work freelance or contract type jobs. Especially when the whole point is to free up afternoons and random days off -- you will be leaving money on the table. If I was making more like 80-90k, this wouldn't feel like such a severe compromise, but at least for now, it really is.

[Anonymous]

Check if your work has a back up care benefit. Mine will pay for up to 10 days of backup care at $100 per day. I am a fed and this is not a very well advertised benefit at my agency.

[Anonymous]

Totally agreed. Best laid plans don't work when days off crop up out of nowhere. We lucked out and coordinated with our neighbor who also has a 3YO - they took AMs, we took PMs post-nap. So we still had to take some time off, but at least everyone got some dedicated work time so it wasn't a total waste of a day.

Anonymous wrote:Well, the first year (PK3) we did not have a plan and took it day by day and I absolutely do not recommend this approach. Super duper stressful. So it’s smart you’re thinking ahead. Our kids do aftercare every day, but our aftercare doesn’t do day off coverage (some do!)

The next year we had two kids (PK3 and PK4) so we used White House Nannies and got a temporary nanny for every day off school. Stress level: Much lower, but you have to do some nanny “onboarding” each day. Cost: High, but being done with early childcare costs made it feel fine. Reliability: Excellent.

This year (K and PK4) we found a local day off camp that covers all but two days off for the whole school year (and then we each took one of those days off from work). We use Salsa With Silvia but I know there are others. Cost: High, cause we’re paying for two kids. Stress level: Zero. Just like going to school. Reliability: Excellent

Remember that in addition to all the planned days off, you’re also going to have to deal with sick days and inclement weather days. I find if someone works from home and that job is a bit flexible/understanding, sick days are manageable (my kids just watch TV all day when they’re sick and often take long naps, so I can work with just a few interruptions) but if you both are going in to work, this can be a big stressor, as they’re unpredictable, frequent in PK, and you don’t have a ton of options.

For us, the MOST ANNOYING days are actually the inclement weather days - unpredictable, and you’ve got energetic, excited kids who need a lot of attention (especially in the PK years). We basically alternate taking those days off work, which is a PITA on short notice. We’ve had I think three of those this year? Plus we’ve had two late starts, one day with no aftercare and one early dismissal for bad weather. So that’s been a PITA.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's hard. DCPS takes an *incredible* number of days off.

lol what 180 days is a standard. Some school districts do less.

And many states across the country do not even offer universal FREE pre-k tha is past 1:00pm.

Some people just complain!

Schools do not actually provide 180 days of instruction. Count 'em up. They don't. They are ignoring the law.

DCPS has 180 days of school (whether or not instruction is happening on all 180 of them is another question, but 180 days of school are on the calendar). On some odd years with a day of snow might be forgiven, but 180 is standard (and has been standard for decades).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's validating to hear that other DCPS families have made career sacrifices to handle kid's schedules. At our elementary I often feel like the only mom who has a "mommy track" job to accommodate this stuff and sometimes feel judged for it.

But most families we know either have family help or some kind of at-home childcare (nanny, au pair) and those weren't an option for us so I downshifted at work. It's not ideal and I miss working in an office and being FT (and making more money). I guess I'm glad I'm still working in my field at all. It's hard.

We know so many DCPS families where one parent has an extremely flexible schedule -- contract work, independent wealth, part time work (even if the part time work seems lucrative, like law). And, SAH parents. Maybe the first category seems less visible but that's why they family is less stressed.

I stepped back to project-based work when I had kids, and my husband I think still doesn't realize how many gaps I fill in throughout the year. He was stunned by the "80 days" number for example.

There are so many parents (usually moms) who are consulting or doing some other non-full-time work. I have heard it referred to as a 9-1 job. I haven’t been able to figure out anything like this for myself despite thinking about it for years. The nature of our lawyer jobs allow us to do a fair amount of work asynchronously, so that helps, but it would be an immense help to have one of us not working full time if we could figure out a workable model where the PT person actually made meaningful income. But we still have made it work to be around more in the afternoons because of remote and hybrid schedules, and being willing to have one of us catch up on work in the evenings or weekends.

Echoing what others have said about the benefit to middle to upper elementary kids. Being around in the afternoon, making sure they are on top of schoolwork, volunteering at their extracurriculars, etc makes a huge difference. Both of our kids are doing far better in school and in general now that we have made an effort to have one of us around in the late afternoon and making sacrifices at work to do it, instead of having them in aftercare until 6 everyday like we used to.

I am the parent with the PT/flexible job and I think the thing people don't understand is that I have had to redefine what "meaningful income" means. I have a graduate degree and 20+ years of experience in my field. My income is usually between 25-40k each year. My hourly rate is high but the nature of contract work is that it comes and goes. I could make more if I was salaried but PT, and I've been looking for a job like that for a while, but most employers hiring someone like me either want someone full time or they want me FT on a temporary basis.

Also while my spouse makes decent money, he's not like a super high earner. Our HHI is right around 200k annually. Not terrible but not wealthy. We'd definitely prefer for me to be making more. But then we'd have to spend a lot more money on aftercare, camps, outsourcing household stuff, etc. And I'd lose the time with my kids which I really value. It's a very hard tradeoff to make and it's very personal.

I know there are people working PT or flexible jobs who make more than me, but I actually think my situation is more common. People just don't talk about what it really means to work freelance or contract type jobs. Especially when the whole point is to free up afternoons and random days off -- you will be leaving money on the table. If I was making more like 80-90k, this wouldn't feel like such a severe compromise, but at least for now, it really is.

You are an amazing mom!

I don't plan to step away from my career, I would rather pay for stuff and luckily we both have flexibility at work. Our HHI is $360K and if I stop working we will lose $160+ of that.

I hope there is a better solution that women often having to give up their career.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Check if your work has a back up care benefit. Mine will pay for up to 10 days of backup care at $100 per day. I am a fed and this is not a very well advertised benefit at my agency.

Mine does pay 1 week of care. I am not certain how I feel about dropping my child off to a unknown place for a week. So much to think about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's validating to hear that other DCPS families have made career sacrifices to handle kid's schedules. At our elementary I often feel like the only mom who has a "mommy track" job to accommodate this stuff and sometimes feel judged for it.

But most families we know either have family help or some kind of at-home childcare (nanny, au pair) and those weren't an option for us so I downshifted at work. It's not ideal and I miss working in an office and being FT (and making more money). I guess I'm glad I'm still working in my field at all. It's hard.

We know so many DCPS families where one parent has an extremely flexible schedule -- contract work, independent wealth, part time work (even if the part time work seems lucrative, like law). And, SAH parents. Maybe the first category seems less visible but that's why they family is less stressed.

I stepped back to project-based work when I had kids, and my husband I think still doesn't realize how many gaps I fill in throughout the year. He was stunned by the "80 days" number for example.

There are so many parents (usually moms) who are consulting or doing some other non-full-time work. I have heard it referred to as a 9-1 job. I haven’t been able to figure out anything like this for myself despite thinking about it for years. The nature of our lawyer jobs allow us to do a fair amount of work asynchronously, so that helps, but it would be an immense help to have one of us not working full time if we could figure out a workable model where the PT person actually made meaningful income. But we still have made it work to be around more in the afternoons because of remote and hybrid schedules, and being willing to have one of us catch up on work in the evenings or weekends.

Echoing what others have said about the benefit to middle to upper elementary kids. Being around in the afternoon, making sure they are on top of schoolwork, volunteering at their extracurriculars, etc makes a huge difference. Both of our kids are doing far better in school and in general now that we have made an effort to have one of us around in the late afternoon and making sacrifices at work to do it, instead of having them in aftercare until 6 everyday like we used to.

Luckily both our job are flexible and with one child it seems we could swing it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You’re wise to be looking ahead at this. My feedback is that unless you have another adult who can be on-call - a grandparent, nanny, etc - one of you will have to downshift your career. It’s just not doable to have two parents who both work non-flexible jobs especially if you have more than one kid.

Find a daycare that takes drop-ins near your house for the preK years. Camps that take 4yos fill up fast. Once your kids are K age it’s easier and you’ll have more options. [/quo

We both have flexibility at work. Right now I don't want to pot my career in the back. I live the idea of drop off care option and will have a few back up nannies lined up..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's validating to hear that other DCPS families have made career sacrifices to handle kid's schedules. At our elementary I often feel like the only mom who has a "mommy track" job to accommodate this stuff and sometimes feel judged for it.

But most families we know either have family help or some kind of at-home childcare (nanny, au pair) and those weren't an option for us so I downshifted at work. It's not ideal and I miss working in an office and being FT (and making more money). I guess I'm glad I'm still working in my field at all. It's hard.

We know so many DCPS families where one parent has an extremely flexible schedule -- contract work, independent wealth, part time work (even if the part time work seems lucrative, like law). And, SAH parents. Maybe the first category seems less visible but that's why they family is less stressed.

I stepped back to project-based work when I had kids, and my husband I think still doesn't realize how many gaps I fill in throughout the year. He was stunned by the "80 days" number for example.

There are so many parents (usually moms) who are consulting or doing some other non-full-time work. I have heard it referred to as a 9-1 job. I haven’t been able to figure out anything like this for myself despite thinking about it for years. The nature of our lawyer jobs allow us to do a fair amount of work asynchronously, so that helps, but it would be an immense help to have one of us not working full time if we could figure out a workable model where the PT person actually made meaningful income. But we still have made it work to be around more in the afternoons because of remote and hybrid schedules, and being willing to have one of us catch up on work in the evenings or weekends.

Echoing what others have said about the benefit to middle to upper elementary kids. Being around in the afternoon, making sure they are on top of schoolwork, volunteering at their extracurriculars, etc makes a huge difference. Both of our kids are doing far better in school and in general now that we have made an effort to have one of us around in the late afternoon and making sacrifices at work to do it, instead of having them in aftercare until 6 everyday like we used to.

I am the parent with the PT/flexible job and I think the thing people don't understand is that I have had to redefine what "meaningful income" means. I have a graduate degree and 20+ years of experience in my field. My income is usually between 25-40k each year. My hourly rate is high but the nature of contract work is that it comes and goes. I could make more if I was salaried but PT, and I've been looking for a job like that for a while, but most employers hiring someone like me either want someone full time or they want me FT on a temporary basis.

Also while my spouse makes decent money, he's not like a super high earner. Our HHI is right around 200k annually. Not terrible but not wealthy. We'd definitely prefer for me to be making more. But then we'd have to spend a lot more money on aftercare, camps, outsourcing household stuff, etc. And I'd lose the time with my kids which I really value. It's a very hard tradeoff to make and it's very personal.

I know there are people working PT or flexible jobs who make more than me, but I actually think my situation is more common. People just don't talk about what it really means to work freelance or contract type jobs. Especially when the whole point is to free up afternoons and random days off -- you will be leaving money on the table. If I was making more like 80-90k, this wouldn't feel like such a severe compromise, but at least for now, it really is.

This is a common situation -- it is ours, almost down to the dollar. And I agree that the decision is deeply personal.

Ours was made easier because we bought a nice house 15 years ago when it was affordable, we have a grandma funding the 529s, and my part-time work is very meaningful and satisfying. And I do think that extra time (afternoons and days off and half the summer) with my kids helps them. When I think about the flexibility we would give up it I took a full time job, I cant quite come up with anything I would really want to spend money on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Check if your work has a back up care benefit. Mine will pay for up to 10 days of backup care at $100 per day. I am a fed and this is not a very well advertised benefit at my agency.

Mine does pay 1 week of care. I am not certain how I feel about dropping my child off to an unknown place for a week. So much to think about.

Check and see if they have a program where someone can come to your house- both my government and private sector employer used the same group, as does my wife’s employment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Check if your work has a back up care benefit. Mine will pay for up to 10 days of backup care at $100 per day. I am a fed and this is not a very well advertised benefit at my agency.

Mine does pay 1 week of care. I am not certain how I feel about dropping my child off to an unknown place for a week. So much to think about.

Check and see if they have a program where someone can come to your house- both my government and private sector employer used the same group, as does my wife’s employment.

One time the company my government employer used sent someone who showed up reeking of weed. I had to send her home. The company then sent someone who was lovely just in time for me to get to the one critical meeting I needed coverage for that day because my husband was out of town. I came back immediately afterward and never used the service again, even though they apologized profusely about the situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Check if your work has a back up care benefit. Mine will pay for up to 10 days of backup care at $100 per day. I am a fed and this is not a very well advertised benefit at my agency.

Mine does pay 1 week of care. I am not certain how I feel about dropping my child off to an unknown place for a week. So much to think about.

Check and see if they have a program where someone can come to your house- both my government and private sector employer used the same group, as does my wife’s employment.

One time the company my government employer used sent someone who showed up reeking of weed. I had to send her home. The company then sent someone who was lovely just in time for me to get to the one critical meeting I needed coverage for that day because my husband was out of town. I came back immediately afterward and never used the service again, even though they apologized profusely about the situation.

My agency will reimburse for care that we set up on our own, so I just send her back to her old daycare for the day. No need to worry about having a stranger care for my child.

[Anonymous]

Aftercare, day off camps, spring break camp, and summer camps.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's validating to hear that other DCPS families have made career sacrifices to handle kid's schedules. At our elementary I often feel like the only mom who has a "mommy track" job to accommodate this stuff and sometimes feel judged for it.

But most families we know either have family help or some kind of at-home childcare (nanny, au pair) and those weren't an option for us so I downshifted at work. It's not ideal and I miss working in an office and being FT (and making more money). I guess I'm glad I'm still working in my field at all. It's hard.

We know so many DCPS families where one parent has an extremely flexible schedule -- contract work, independent wealth, part time work (even if the part time work seems lucrative, like law). And, SAH parents. Maybe the first category seems less visible but that's why they family is less stressed.

I stepped back to project-based work when I had kids, and my husband I think still doesn't realize how many gaps I fill in throughout the year. He was stunned by the "80 days" number for example.

There are so many parents (usually moms) who are consulting or doing some other non-full-time work. I have heard it referred to as a 9-1 job. I haven’t been able to figure out anything like this for myself despite thinking about it for years. The nature of our lawyer jobs allow us to do a fair amount of work asynchronously, so that helps, but it would be an immense help to have one of us not working full time if we could figure out a workable model where the PT person actually made meaningful income. But we still have made it work to be around more in the afternoons because of remote and hybrid schedules, and being willing to have one of us catch up on work in the evenings or weekends.

Echoing what others have said about the benefit to middle to upper elementary kids. Being around in the afternoon, making sure they are on top of schoolwork, volunteering at their extracurriculars, etc makes a huge difference. Both of our kids are doing far better in school and in general now that we have made an effort to have one of us around in the late afternoon and making sacrifices at work to do it, instead of having them in aftercare until 6 everyday like we used to.

I am the parent with the PT/flexible job and I think the thing people don't understand is that I have had to redefine what "meaningful income" means. I have a graduate degree and 20+ years of experience in my field. My income is usually between 25-40k each year. My hourly rate is high but the nature of contract work is that it comes and goes. I could make more if I was salaried but PT, and I've been looking for a job like that for a while, but most employers hiring someone like me either want someone full time or they want me FT on a temporary basis.

Also while my spouse makes decent money, he's not like a super high earner. Our HHI is right around 200k annually. Not terrible but not wealthy. We'd definitely prefer for me to be making more. But then we'd have to spend a lot more money on aftercare, camps, outsourcing household stuff, etc. And I'd lose the time with my kids which I really value. It's a very hard tradeoff to make and it's very personal.

I know there are people working PT or flexible jobs who make more than me, but I actually think my situation is more common. People just don't talk about what it really means to work freelance or contract type jobs. Especially when the whole point is to free up afternoons and random days off -- you will be leaving money on the table. If I was making more like 80-90k, this wouldn't feel like such a severe compromise, but at least for now, it really is.

You are an amazing mom!

I don't plan to step away from my career, I would rather pay for stuff and luckily we both have flexibility at work. Our HHI is $360K and if I stop working we will lose $160+ of that.

I hope there is a better solution that women often having to give up their career.

Throw your money at it. Hire a babysitter with a car. I knew many parents who hired Catholic U nursing and law students who were able to provide coverage.

I was the flexible parent, and we’re passed it all now because my son is 14 and can use public transportation etc, stay home alone etc. My career and earning potential absolutely took a hit, and if I’m honest, Im resentful and sad about it. I stayed in the same, flexible job for years when I should have focused on growth. Now I’m facing ageism and an awful job market. I still am at my same company but wished I moved on years ago.