endowed scholarship drama

[Anonymous]

You don't even know what they said. You are catching feelings based on third hand info. They may have just been expressing overall disappointment and named a few names.

Don't get me wrong, I don't agree with counting someone else's pockets, but you don't know what was said.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I recently learned that my brother and sister-in-law are annoyed with me for not contributing more to the scholarship fund they've established in memory of their son who passed away two years ago. They're mad in general that people aren't contributing what they believe people should, but specifically, my $250 when they created the fund and $50 on birthdays is insufficient. They need to raise $25K in five years, and today, two years in, they have around $11K (so, they're on track for success).

I know everyone grieves in their own way, but... this is presumptuous, right?

I haven't said anything to them because I'm not supposed to know; a different trouble-making relative decided to stir the pot and report to me. All things considered, it has the ring of truth. Today they published a social media post leaning on friends and family to contribute, so I'm feeling indignant again after months of successfully swallowing my emotions.

Did the troublemaking relative donate a good amount? Is this an aunt, mother or mother in law who is always looking for ways to insert themselves? I might be loathe to contribute any actions that would make the pot stirrers actions a win for the pot stirrer,

This. Distance is the answer to this. Don't engage with pot stirrer. It' not your job to finance this. continue to be supportive of grieving loved ones and don't confront. As a rule I grey rock troublemakers. I will only discuss things like the weather and I refuse to engage with potstirrring or gossip. I change subject or make an excuse to exit the convo. I also don't give a reaction because they love negative emotion.