college admissions process so far, financial aid disappointment

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, this is hard no matter what these jerks say.

Here is where you need to explain the difference with your child between what you can afford, and what you should spend. And ultimately let them decide.

You have the savings so technically you can afford for your DC to go there. They can take out modest federal loans to make up the difference if that's the case. This scenario isn't crazy and many people do it. It's not unwise per se.

Or you all can look at undergrad as less about what you can afford, but more what you want to spend. I can technically afford a Lexus but I would rather spend my money on a Honda and have savings. This scenario isn't crazy and many people do it. It's not unwise per se.

I have two children. Each had $125,000 in their 529 for college. One chose to spend it all on her undergrad and take out modest loans to make up the difference. The other went to a state school that the world perceives as "less than" but will graduate with no loans and $25,000 in his account. With the future of the world and AI, who even knows what is best. I am glad however they participating in the deliberations and make their own decision so they didn't harbor misplaced regret.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The lesson is everyone should love their safety schools!

And “safety” school should mean a financial safety too. My child also cannot go to their dream school because they didn’t get merit or aid. I don’t believe it’s an unusual occurrence. It’s okay, however. They were prepared for that outcome and they got admitted to many other schools that are within budget that they like. Your kid will be ok!

Also - alternative - if you are only short $10k then they can take a $5k loan and work a lot to make an extra $5k for tuition. It’s possible. Find a way??

You can't force a kid to love a school that they don't love.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I think we should keep this post focused on solutions and positive stories. Those doubting my child's stats are taking away from posts that can be productive for me and others. My child isn't special or better than your child, I know that. My child worked hard, did well, and wants to see their results realized.

Your kid obviously worked hard, OP. 4.8 GPA shows that! They needed to put the same effort into getting a 1500+/34+ test score. That is
just the truth. With an “average” test score or test optional, the GPA is deemed inflated (and it probably is if they can’t get a high test score). Towson is fine. Just have her gear up to transfer in a year.

[Anonymous]

What is the child's exact substantial college savings and what are the extenuating circumstances related to how the savings came to be? Is the savings in a 529 and if not, what kind of plan is it in?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The lesson is everyone should love their safety schools!

And “safety” school should mean a financial safety too. My child also cannot go to their dream school because they didn’t get merit or aid. I don’t believe it’s an unusual occurrence. It’s okay, however. They were prepared for that outcome and they got admitted to many other schools that are within budget that they like. Your kid will be ok!

Also - alternative - if you are only short $10k then they can take a $5k loan and work a lot to make an extra $5k for tuition. It’s possible. Find a way??

You can't force a kid to love a school that they don't love.

I think what PP meant is that only apply to safety schools that you really like / love.

Don't have Towson and Salisbury be your safety schools if you don't like them. There are many southern schools with high acceptance rates that are reasonable even if you receive no merit aid (though many will offer in state tuition to OOS kids).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is a “slightly above average SAT”? Average with respect to what reference point? Perhaps putting effort into doing well in the SAT would have been a smarter move!

Btw, a 3.8 GPA in the top 10-20% at your kid’s school? It seems that these days, only the top 10% (with 1500+ SAT) can treat UMD as a safety/target school if you’re from MoCo.

That said, in my kid’s MoCo school, the acceptance rate to UMD was especially tough only for last year. My kid has a few friends getting into UMD this year with just good but not amazing stats. He knows someone getting in with a <1400 SAT. That student is white but has a brother at UMD (not sure if siblings matter).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand. Didn't you discuss the financials and run the NPCs for every school before applying? Sounds like substantial college savings means no need-based aid. Your child shouldn't have applied to any schools you both weren't willing to cover the difference for (given limited merit almost everywhere except a few schools for NMSF/NMF). Unfortunately you set your DC up for disappointment, which is a shame.

An alternative is taking a gap year to work and save as much money as possible, and to plan on working during school years and summer to help offset the extra costs. But a smart motivated kid will can do very well no matter where they attend UG!

Don't be a dick. Until you do it, you don't realize how stingy the FA or merit aid at these school really is. You hope for the best. Rubbing it in that "you did this" is just an a-hole thing to say.

Not everyone has time to research every school, possibility, etc. like the people on this board.

OP- my child had a D1 sports offer to a very high academic school (top 15). DC turned it down. That school was $90K a year. Even with athletic money (but no FA and no merit given by this school at all to anyone), it was not worth it. That's an absurd price tag to pay at almost full freight. We didn't know how stingy they'd be until DC got the offer. It was devastating to turn it down but . . .

DC is at a high performing d3 program at a school that people on here often mock. But DC is Dean's list, an athlete, and having a great experience. DC will graduate debt free with prob $100K+ left over for grad school. While many of DC's peers will be drowning in undergrad debt. Spin it as such.

Also DC talked to lots of professionals in the field of study and all said "it doesn't matter where you go to undergrad."

OP here. Thank you for your story! For those who said we didn't prepare perfectly and I set my child up for disappointment, maybe. But we thought their solid gpa (3.8 unweighted, 4.8 weighted, multiple 5s on AP exams, slightly above average SAT), plus multiple meaningful awards and varsity sports would be enough. And it wasn't. Lesson learned. And we are still learning as this process continues. At this point we've determined around 40k per year is around our max, with medical school down the road. This is actually a good lesson, although disappointing, in making informed decisions about finances. We don't hear enough about kids who do NOT go to their dream schools because of money but end up loving where they go.

How does a 3.8 uw turn into a 4.8 weighted?

A 3.8 uw isn't fantastic. It usually means a handful of Bs possibly even a C.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The lesson is everyone should love their safety schools!

And “safety” school should mean a financial safety too. My child also cannot go to their dream school because they didn’t get merit or aid. I don’t believe it’s an unusual occurrence. It’s okay, however. They were prepared for that outcome and they got admitted to many other schools that are within budget that they like. Your kid will be ok!

Also - alternative - if you are only short $10k then they can take a $5k loan and work a lot to make an extra $5k for tuition. It’s possible. Find a way??

You can't force a kid to love a school that they don't love.

No, but in the process of building a list of schools to apply to, families should work hard to find a safety the kid does love, or at least likes a lot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand. Didn't you discuss the financials and run the NPCs for every school before applying? Sounds like substantial college savings means no need-based aid. Your child shouldn't have applied to any schools you both weren't willing to cover the difference for (given limited merit almost everywhere except a few schools for NMSF/NMF). Unfortunately you set your DC up for disappointment, which is a shame.

An alternative is taking a gap year to work and save as much money as possible, and to plan on working during school years and summer to help offset the extra costs. But a smart motivated kid will can do very well no matter where they attend UG!

Don't be a dick. Until you do it, you don't realize how stingy the FA or merit aid at these school really is. You hope for the best. Rubbing it in that "you did this" is just an a-hole thing to say.

Not everyone has time to research every school, possibility, etc. like the people on this board.

OP- my child had a D1 sports offer to a very high academic school (top 15). DC turned it down. That school was $90K a year. Even with athletic money (but no FA and no merit given by this school at all to anyone), it was not worth it. That's an absurd price tag to pay at almost full freight. We didn't know how stingy they'd be until DC got the offer. It was devastating to turn it down but . . .

DC is at a high performing d3 program at a school that people on here often mock. But DC is Dean's list, an athlete, and having a great experience. DC will graduate debt free with prob $100K+ left over for grad school. While many of DC's peers will be drowning in undergrad debt. Spin it as such.

Also DC talked to lots of professionals in the field of study and all said "it doesn't matter where you go to undergrad."

OP here. Thank you for your story! For those who said we didn't prepare perfectly and I set my child up for disappointment, maybe. But we thought their solid gpa (3.8 unweighted, 4.8 weighted, multiple 5s on AP exams, slightly above average SAT), plus multiple meaningful awards and varsity sports would be enough. And it wasn't. Lesson learned. And we are still learning as this process continues. At this point we've determined around 40k per year is around our max, with medical school down the road. This is actually a good lesson, although disappointing, in making informed decisions about finances. We don't hear enough about kids who do NOT go to their dream schools because of money but end up loving where they go.

How does a 3.8 uw turn into a 4.8 weighted?

A 3.8 uw isn't fantastic. It usually means a handful of Bs possibly even a C.

What are you on about? A 3.8 is a high A- average.

[Anonymous]

I’m sorry, OP. This is hard! And stupid DCUM regulars just make it worse. Here are some solutions (my kid went to a safety but she chose it and was excited about it and was very glad to graduate debt free):

1. Be very very neutral about the safeties. Without tipping your hand that you’re doing it, even casually find good things to say about them.

2. Start talking about all the love these schools have shown her. Toss in things about how it’s nice to go where you’re wanted.

3. Never say the expression “dream school” again and do not look at the “commits” page on social media for your child’s school. Do not ask where kids are going. Put your head in the sand because the comparison is driving you nuts and will rub off on your kid. Everyone’s path is different- not better or worse.

4. Keep your fingers crossed about the smaller schools offering you merit- I hope they do!

5. Report back.

You’ve got this, OP!!

[Anonymous]

College admission is a major wealth distribution mechanism there is in USA. It mostly pegs back UMC or MMC ( say 75 to 90 percentile networth wise) . For > 95percentile it is not a burden at all and the merrily spend on it.
Tread carefully esp if you are 2+ kids household.

[Anonymous]

Take out loans to bridge the difference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand. Didn't you discuss the financials and run the NPCs for every school before applying? Sounds like substantial college savings means no need-based aid. Your child shouldn't have applied to any schools you both weren't willing to cover the difference for (given limited merit almost everywhere except a few schools for NMSF/NMF). Unfortunately you set your DC up for disappointment, which is a shame.

An alternative is taking a gap year to work and save as much money as possible, and to plan on working during school years and summer to help offset the extra costs. But a smart motivated kid will can do very well no matter where they attend UG!

Don't be a dick. Until you do it, you don't realize how stingy the FA or merit aid at these school really is. You hope for the best. Rubbing it in that "you did this" is just an a-hole thing to say.

Not everyone has time to research every school, possibility, etc. like the people on this board.

OP- my child had a D1 sports offer to a very high academic school (top 15). DC turned it down. That school was $90K a year. Even with athletic money (but no FA and no merit given by this school at all to anyone), it was not worth it. That's an absurd price tag to pay at almost full freight. We didn't know how stingy they'd be until DC got the offer. It was devastating to turn it down but . . .

DC is at a high performing d3 program at a school that people on here often mock. But DC is Dean's list, an athlete, and having a great experience. DC will graduate debt free with prob $100K+ left over for grad school. While many of DC's peers will be drowning in undergrad debt. Spin it as such.

Also DC talked to lots of professionals in the field of study and all said "it doesn't matter where you go to undergrad."

OP here. Thank you for your story! For those who said we didn't prepare perfectly and I set my child up for disappointment, maybe. But we thought their solid gpa (3.8 unweighted, 4.8 weighted, multiple 5s on AP exams, slightly above average SAT), plus multiple meaningful awards and varsity sports would be enough. And it wasn't. Lesson learned. And we are still learning as this process continues. At this point we've determined around 40k per year is around our max, with medical school down the road. This is actually a good lesson, although disappointing, in making informed decisions about finances. We don't hear enough about kids who do NOT go to their dream schools because of money but end up loving where they go.

How does a 3.8 uw turn into a 4.8 weighted?

A 3.8 uw isn't fantastic. It usually means a handful of Bs possibly even a C.

[Anonymous]

Investigate special programs & opportunities that the safeties offer that could be of interest.

Or, see if financial & academic safeties are still accepting applications & consider applying. For example, WVU should be less than your budget with automatic merit if they are still accepting applications. Some states are so cheap in-state that OOS tuition with room & board would meet your budget.

But, yes, let this be a lesson to junior parents: Your children's safety school *must* be schools they would be happy to attend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand. Didn't you discuss the financials and run the NPCs for every school before applying? Sounds like substantial college savings means no need-based aid. Your child shouldn't have applied to any schools you both weren't willing to cover the difference for (given limited merit almost everywhere except a few schools for NMSF/NMF). Unfortunately you set your DC up for disappointment, which is a shame.

An alternative is taking a gap year to work and save as much money as possible, and to plan on working during school years and summer to help offset the extra costs. But a smart motivated kid will can do very well no matter where they attend UG!

Don't be a dick. Until you do it, you don't realize how stingy the FA or merit aid at these school really is. You hope for the best. Rubbing it in that "you did this" is just an a-hole thing to say.

Not everyone has time to research every school, possibility, etc. like the people on this board.

OP- my child had a D1 sports offer to a very high academic school (top 15). DC turned it down. That school was $90K a year. Even with athletic money (but no FA and no merit given by this school at all to anyone), it was not worth it. That's an absurd price tag to pay at almost full freight. We didn't know how stingy they'd be until DC got the offer. It was devastating to turn it down but . . .

DC is at a high performing d3 program at a school that people on here often mock. But DC is Dean's list, an athlete, and having a great experience. DC will graduate debt free with prob $100K+ left over for grad school. While many of DC's peers will be drowning in undergrad debt. Spin it as such.

Also DC talked to lots of professionals in the field of study and all said "it doesn't matter where you go to undergrad."

OP here. Thank you for your story! For those who said we didn't prepare perfectly and I set my child up for disappointment, maybe. But we thought their solid gpa (3.8 unweighted, 4.8 weighted, multiple 5s on AP exams, slightly above average SAT), plus multiple meaningful awards and varsity sports would be enough. And it wasn't. Lesson learned. And we are still learning as this process continues. At this point we've determined around 40k per year is around our max, with medical school down the road. This is actually a good lesson, although disappointing, in making informed decisions about finances. We don't hear enough about kids who do NOT go to their dream schools because of money but end up loving where they go.

How does a 3.8 uw turn into a 4.8 weighted?

A 3.8 uw isn't fantastic. It usually means a handful of Bs possibly even a C.

You just want to keep posting the same mean comment? I’ll just keep giving the same answer.

What are you on about? A 3.8 is a high A- average.