UVA professor: get married young

[Anonymous]

Not everyone cares about marriage and kids and that's fine, but if you know you want those things I think it's smart to start dating for marriage in college. The pool of eligible partners only gets smaller. I didn't marry my college bf but I did meet my husband shortly thereafter in grad school. Looking around at my social circle (which is mostly UMC dual-career couples, not MAGA or religious) most everyone met their eventual spouses in college, grad school, or first jobs. If you wait much longer than that, many (not all, of course) of the best catches of any gender are already off the market even if they live together for a time before marriage and/or wait to have kids.

[Anonymous]

If circumstances are right and you find your person then yes this is good advice. You'll have more energy and less baggage so easier to build a life together. Don't immediately have kids, wait couple if years to make sure all blocks are in right place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I thought this might be a researched article that provided facts and figures about why it may be positive to get married and have kids young. It’s really just a right wing thought piece written by someone who also happens to be a professor.

Who gives a shit about the young woman’s Christian faith…it’s not relevant to the article and it would be more compelling if the UVA girl getting married young was a raging atheist.

I would be interested in facts-based research on the topic…do married couples get ahead faster at work? Is it better to have kids earlier when you are more junior so you can better lean in to your career by your early 30s?

There's a lot of discussion of the data showing that married young people, especially those with kids, are happier and less lonely than single young people. There's not data about career success from marrying young, but are we more concerned about "getting ahead at work" than we are about being happy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As surprised as I would be... on a rational level, I fully support this. Marry and have kids in your twenties. They'll be out and you'll have a whole second life ahead of you in your 40s. Wait a decade and all the money earning years will go to your kids. If you have them young when you have nothing... you don't even know better and can just roll with it all. I did it all wrong for the record. Spent my 20s working, finding myself and living the dream... paying for it now and probably well towards 60s as we have college, high school and grammar school kids now in school til 2037.... I'll be the OLDEST parent at graduation and in the poor house.

If kids are the sole purpose it's better than have them in your mid 30s and beyond, and it seems like you do want them out of the house as fast as possible anyway, so why not just enjoy your child free young years which is better than enjoying an 40s empty nest.

If kids are needed, after mid 30's fertility issues can be a challenge.

[Anonymous]

Women who actually care about other women will openly and candidly talk about FERTILITY issues when having this conversation.

If you want kids, don't wait until your late 30s to get married and start trying.

Yes, there are always the fertile myrtles who can pop out kids in their 40s, but for the majority of women and the majority of circumstances, there is a WINDOW of opportunity in your early 30s to easily have healthy kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Women who actually care about other women will openly and candidly talk about FERTILITY issues when having this conversation.

If you want kids, don't wait until your late 30s to get married and start trying.

Yes, there are always the fertile myrtles who can pop out kids in their 40s, but for the majority of women and the majority of circumstances, there is a WINDOW of opportunity in your early 30s to easily have healthy kids.

You’re disgusting.

[Anonymous]

One big reason to do it is to save money. I think of all of the funds DH and I spent on separate rents and travelling to see one another when we were long-distance for 2 years.

Then again, I was not ready to marry him until age 28.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Women who actually care about other women will openly and candidly talk about FERTILITY issues when having this conversation.

If you want kids, don't wait until your late 30s to get married and start trying.

Yes, there are always the fertile myrtles who can pop out kids in their 40s, but for the majority of women and the majority of circumstances, there is a WINDOW of opportunity in your early 30s to easily have healthy kids.

Most women who I know who ended up married late didn’t do so on purpose, things just didn’t work out, it happens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I thought this might be a researched article that provided facts and figures about why it may be positive to get married and have kids young. It’s really just a right wing thought piece written by someone who also happens to be a professor.

Who gives a shit about the young woman’s Christian faith…it’s not relevant to the article and it would be more compelling if the UVA girl getting married young was a raging atheist.

I would be interested in facts-based research on the topic…do married couples get ahead faster at work? Is it better to have kids earlier when you are more junior so you can better lean in to your career by your early 30s?

There's a lot of discussion of the data showing that married young people, especially those with kids, are happier and less lonely than single young people. There's not data about career success from marrying young, but are we more concerned about "getting ahead at work" than we are about being happy?

What data? Where?

You missed the forest through the trees. I thought this was some research article published by a UVA professor showing empirical support for marrying young. I was using career progression as just one example, but I couldn't care less what the research was trying to measure.

This was nothing more than a right wing opinion piece authored by someone who happened to be a UVA professor. Honestly, the author could have come from any career or walk of life.

[Anonymous]

It's important to offer early marriage as a viable option to young adults and not disparage it. The dating pool is much better at that age. The ones that don't get snapped up by 25 have some kind of baggage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I thought this might be a researched article that provided facts and figures about why it may be positive to get married and have kids young. It’s really just a right wing thought piece written by someone who also happens to be a professor.

Who gives a shit about the young woman’s Christian faith…it’s not relevant to the article and it would be more compelling if the UVA girl getting married young was a raging atheist.

I would be interested in facts-based research on the topic…do married couples get ahead faster at work? Is it better to have kids earlier when you are more junior so you can better lean in to your career by your early 30s?

There's a lot of discussion of the data showing that married young people, especially those with kids, are happier and less lonely than single young people. There's not data about career success from marrying young, but are we more concerned about "getting ahead at work" than we are about being happy?

What data? Where?

You missed the forest through the trees. I thought this was some research article published by a UVA professor showing empirical support for marrying young. I was using career progression as just one example, but I couldn't care less what the research was trying to measure.

This was nothing more than a right wing opinion piece authored by someone who happened to be a UVA professor. Honestly, the author could have come from any career or walk of life.

It's not a research paper, but there's data cited. The fact that you missed it makes me wonder if you read the article with any attention.

Young women (aged 22-35) who are single like Elizabeth are indeed more likely to report that they are lonely and unsatisfied with their lives. Fifty-five percent report that they are frequently lonely compared to 36 percent who are married; likewise, 47 percent of unmarried young women say they are “not satisfied” with their lives, compared to just 18 percent who are married, according to the American Family Survey.

Young men (22-35) who are single and childless are also more likely to be lonely and unsatisfied with their lives. Unmarried young men are 23 percentage points more likely to be frequently lonely and more than twice as likely to be unsatisfied with their lives compared to their married peers.

the happiest young women (22-35) today are not footloose and fancy free, they are married moms. And the ones least likely to be happy are single and childless. Data from the General Social Survey indicate that 41 percent of young married moms (22-35) are “very happy” with their lives, compared to just 14 percent of their female peers who are single and childless.

young married men (22-35) who are married with children are almost three times as likely to be “very happy” with their lives compared to their peers who are single and childless. Only 14 percent of young men who are single and childless are “very happy” compared to 37 percent of their peers who are married fathers.

Not only are young adults who put a ring on it happier with their lives in general, the research also suggests they enjoy marriages that are somewhat happier and more sexually satisfying than those who marry later.

And the statement that the author "could have come from any career" is silly. The author is a sociologist who studies marriage for a living. You may not like his conclusions, but he's an academic relying on data to make his case.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How is this a post for the college forum?

Definitely relevant to young women considering UVA who expect mentoring from UVA professors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I thought this might be a researched article that provided facts and figures about why it may be positive to get married and have kids young. It’s really just a right wing thought piece written by someone who also happens to be a professor.

Who gives a shit about the young woman’s Christian faith…it’s not relevant to the article and it would be more compelling if the UVA girl getting married young was a raging atheist.

I would be interested in facts-based research on the topic…do married couples get ahead faster at work? Is it better to have kids earlier when you are more junior so you can better lean in to your career by your early 30s?

There's a lot of discussion of the data showing that married young people, especially those with kids, are happier and less lonely than single young people. There's not data about career success from marrying young, but are we more concerned about "getting ahead at work" than we are about being happy?

What data? Where?

You missed the forest through the trees. I thought this was some research article published by a UVA professor showing empirical support for marrying young. I was using career progression as just one example, but I couldn't care less what the research was trying to measure.

This was nothing more than a right wing opinion piece authored by someone who happened to be a UVA professor. Honestly, the author could have come from any career or walk of life.

It's not a research paper, but there's data cited. The fact that you missed it makes me wonder if you read the article with any attention.

Young women (aged 22-35) who are single like Elizabeth are indeed more likely to report that they are lonely and unsatisfied with their lives. Fifty-five percent report that they are frequently lonely compared to 36 percent who are married; likewise, 47 percent of unmarried young women say they are “not satisfied” with their lives, compared to just 18 percent who are married, according to the American Family Survey.

Young men (22-35) who are single and childless are also more likely to be lonely and unsatisfied with their lives. Unmarried young men are 23 percentage points more likely to be frequently lonely and more than twice as likely to be unsatisfied with their lives compared to their married peers.

the happiest young women (22-35) today are not footloose and fancy free, they are married moms. And the ones least likely to be happy are single and childless. Data from the General Social Survey indicate that 41 percent of young married moms (22-35) are “very happy” with their lives, compared to just 14 percent of their female peers who are single and childless.

young married men (22-35) who are married with children are almost three times as likely to be “very happy” with their lives compared to their peers who are single and childless. Only 14 percent of young men who are single and childless are “very happy” compared to 37 percent of their peers who are married fathers.

Not only are young adults who put a ring on it happier with their lives in general, the research also suggests they enjoy marriages that are somewhat happier and more sexually satisfying than those who marry later.

And the statement that the author "could have come from any career" is silly. The author is a sociologist who studies marriage for a living. You may not like his conclusions, but he's an academic relying on data to make his case.

22-35 is a pretty wide age range for the data. 35 is significantly past the national average. Young marriage should be an option in the right circumstances, but I do not believe in rushing people down the aisle.

[Anonymous]

What a crucial mistake in the very first sentence. There are no seniors at UVA. Makes me wonder what other mistakes litter this frivolous presumptuous essay.

[Anonymous]

So many people that DH and I know who got married young got divorced and are remarried.

Omg I can’t imagine if I had married the ding dong boyfriend I thought I was going to marry in college.