Is there a way to gift a deep clean for next Christmas without being offensive?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The only way I can think of would be to gift it on like an annual basis. A one-off would be interpreted as an insult, yes.

I'd be happy to gift on an annual basis. That said, are you imagining a way to phrase it that makes the annual offer less offensive?

I mean, who wouldn’t want housecleaning on a regular schedule? I think it’s a fine gift and wouldn’t overthink it.

There are plenty of people who don’t want strangers in their homes.

OP- is there also clutter? Because if so then the house won’t get very clean.

This. My parents had biweekly cleaners for years but the clutter made it hard to do anything but vacuum the carpets and clean the sinks and toilets. I’m talking decades worth of dust and cat hair. It was awful. I gently suggested carpet cleaning a few times but they always said “oh we have cleaners.”

Well lo and behold a few years after Mom passed, Dad started dating a woman who isn’t into clutter. (Love Mom but she was a borderline hoarder and so is Dad.) She moved in, they tossed years worth of stuff, deep cleaned the place - shampooed carpets, washed curtains, cleared surfaces to dust — and it’s actually habitable now.

Short of that, unfortunately you’re unlikely to see a change …

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My dad does this for my sister’s house. He says, I know having me is work, I want to help out before I get there.

I think my sister sees through it but its kindly done.

Your Dad used very gracious wording - and it's true, regardless of the recipients' housekeeping tendencies. I think this is the way to go!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do not call it a gift. Have your DH talk to them and say while you both appreciate their hosting you, that you have really sensitive allergies. Then have your DH offer to pay for a deep cleaning for their house for you. Do not make it sound like it is a gift for them. It is not. It is for you.

LOL

[Anonymous]

Hotel.

[Anonymous]

"I mean, who wouldn’t want housecleaning on a regular schedule? I think it’s a fine gift and wouldn’t overthink it."

Oh hon, there are many who would not want this. A gift is about the person you're giving it to. This is about the giver - therefore not a gift.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don’t be quick to jump to ”offended” we started weekly cleaning for my in laws and quite frankly they were relieved! We’ve been thanked many times!! And yes, it takes a bit to find a good one and if she’s unavailable, (sick/injuried) they go without, tried finding a temp and it was half the work, twice the pay.

My parents wouldn't accept, do not want strangers in their house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t be quick to jump to ”offended” we started weekly cleaning for my in laws and quite frankly they were relieved! We’ve been thanked many times!! And yes, it takes a bit to find a good one and if she’s unavailable, (sick/injuried) they go without, tried finding a temp and it was half the work, twice the pay.

My parents wouldn't accept, do not want strangers in their house.

I think this is a great idea if framed as a way to help OP's allergies. But yeah, some people wouldn't accept. My mom won't accept help with anything- either a cleaning service, or help from me (I haven't offered to regularly clean and I wouldn't, but I WOULD spend as many weekends as necessary helping with the decluttering in the basement and anywhere else. I have been declined for years even though she complains about the clutter almost every time we talk).

[Anonymous]

I wish people understood how miserable allergies can be. My oldest has terrible allergies to cats and dogs and even with medication feels terrible after a few hours at a house full of pet dander. Sleeping in a hotel would not be enough. I would just make it about you, this is a weird thing that you need not something wrong with them and ask if they would either be willing to have a crew come or to come to you for the next holiday. Expecting someone to be miserable so you can live in filth is not an acceptable option for me. (Note: this is actually not a problem with my ILs! My DD has a friend who has pets and they don’t clean and she can’t go there for more than a couple hours. We host instead).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was literally just thinking this about my in laws house! It’s not filthy, but they clearly need a deep clean (my kids’ white socks were brown on the bottom, the cabinet doors are greasy, etc).

But what I really want is for my husband to convince them to start declutterring. They are not hoarders but they have 50 years of stuff that they need to tack in their basement and attic and they are in their 80s and healthy enough to go through it now. On top of that, he has an aunt who lives in the house she inherited from his grandparents who never declutterred their home, and he’ll be responsible for cleaning two generations of stuff from that house when she passes. I just find it deeply unfair for elderly people to do this to their children.

He doesn't need to do that. All he has to do is sell it to a developer as is and they will remove everything.

No he’s going to want to do it himself and then it’s going to be a huge struggle because he will want to keep too much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You all make it sound so easy. I booked a deep clean for my parents house when they were both away because they would never allow anyone in. Not a big or dirty or cluttered house.

I had to call tons of places, get a quote sight unseen since i don't live there, and I was actually there when they cleaned. They were late, cut it short and did pretty much a surface clean.

How are you finding and having successes like this with one-offs? Please tell me your secrets.

This. I hired painters who had just painted a neighbors house and they were so disgusted by how much they had to clean before they painted that they told me about it. My neighbor had a weekly cleaner but apparently they only ever swiffered floors and wiped off surfaces but didn't clean anything. They said every surface was grimy. A lot of cleaners don't really clean. I always check my tile kitchen floor after any cleaners I use. It gives me a clue how well they clean.

[Anonymous]

I think it could come across as rude. Maybe stay in a hotel?

[Anonymous]

I would not say anything about allergies. Just say “thank you for having us. To help with hosting and all the clean up we are paying for a one-time service.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is there a way to gift a deep clean for next Christmas without being offensive? No.

If asked again to stay over - "Oh, thank you so much. We had such fun last time. My allergies to the dog are just too much, though - we'll need to stay at a hotel."

This is the best and most honest approach.

[Anonymous]

Just be frank and ask them how they can live in such a filthy place and what they're planning to make it normal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would not say anything about allergies. Just say “thank you for having us. To help with hosting and all the clean up we are paying for a one-time service.

"But we want you to do it before we come."

🙄