Principal hates the involved parents

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is always inside intel.

Ok call me naive but…what? What “inside intel” could advantage a student

NP. Knowing which class(es) are the inclusion classes and making sure your kid isn't in one, which classes are generally stronger academically, which classes have the less experienced teachers, which classes have push in ESL services, finding out whether a teacher might not be returning from maternity leave, that kind of thing. Also, which class "that kid" is going to be in and strategically avoiding it.

If class assignments are being made by parents thats in full violation of the rules and yes the teacher should be keeping those parents out of the schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is always inside intel.

Ok call me naive but…what? What “inside intel” could advantage a student

NP. Knowing which class(es) are the inclusion classes and making sure your kid isn't in one, which classes are generally stronger academically, which classes have the less experienced teachers, which classes have push in ESL services, finding out whether a teacher might not be returning from maternity leave, that kind of thing. Also, which class "that kid" is going to be in and strategically avoiding it.

If class assignments are being made by parents thats in full violation of the rules and yes the teacher should be keeping those parents out of the schools.

Exactly! I have also seen certain students receive special treatment because of parent involvement and there "in" with the admin team.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If it’s a title 1 school, leave it as you’ll be outnumbered and defeated. If it’s a “good” school then the parents need to go over his head to the district, since there will probably be sufficient driving force for that

I'm curious what you mean by out-numbered and defeated.

Lazy admin who doesn’t want to do any extra work will win. Apathetic parents

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There’s an old podcast called Nice White Parents that really shed some light some light on this issue for me.

This is a fantastic podcast. I was a Nice White Parent at our Title 1 DCPS when my kid was little. Not to the degree of the podcast, but man, I listened with some uncomfortable reflection.

That’s why for me the best decision was to be in a school with other nice white parents (half were Asian but that’s beside the point)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What to do about an elementary school principal who openly detests the PTA and involved parents. Won't let parents into the school to volunteer. Won't engage respond to emails and could care less about having involved families who want to help make the school a welcoming place. Won't allow the PTA to use the school for any clubs or family events even when school isn't in session. It's really awful for the students because they could have so much more.

The only PTAs that we've seen have been a bunch of white moms who think they know how to help the POC, when actually they seem to be trying to give their own kids some type of advantage. Even if it's something less tactile such as "my kid has POC friends" or "look, we're helping the poors". Meanwhile, the schools themselves become dumpster fires because I don't think these parents were very good students, themselves, and they don't know how to properly use PTA funds for educating kids.

Perhaps at all white schools it's different.

We are at a diverse but wealthy school and it's the opposite - they are all white moms who actively work to exclude the Indian and Asian families. Like they won't allow after school clubs run by parents because they think their white kids won't get into the robotics/other STEM clubs that Asian parents start. It's crazy!

That said, our ES principal sounds a lot like OP's - the principal doesn't want to do anything extra.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our DCPS Title 1 was like this and we left. We are now at another DCPS and the principal works closely with the PTA and there are lots and lots of opportunities for kids after school and it's just a very welcoming environment.

I think sometimes the hostility towards parental involvement happens because the parents who want to be involved are part of a minority group within the school, and the administration pushes back to protect the interests of the majority group which, for a variety of reasons, has parents who are less likely to be heavily involved at the school. That was the case at our old school. I have mixed feelings about it.

In our title 1 school (different district) it was the lazy admin below the principal (who was actually pretty involved himself).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What to do about an elementary school principal who openly detests the PTA and involved parents. Won't let parents into the school to volunteer. Won't engage respond to emails and could care less about having involved families who want to help make the school a welcoming place. Won't allow the PTA to use the school for any clubs or family events even when school isn't in session. It's really awful for the students because they could have so much more.

The only PTAs that we've seen have been a bunch of white moms who think they know how to help the POC, when actually they seem to be trying to give their own kids some type of advantage. Even if it's something less tactile such as "my kid has POC friends" or "look, we're helping the poors". Meanwhile, the schools themselves become dumpster fires because I don't think these parents were very good students, themselves, and they don't know how to properly use PTA funds for educating kids.

Perhaps at all white schools it's different.

We are at a diverse but wealthy school and it's the opposite - they are all white moms who actively work to exclude the Indian and Asian families. Like they won't allow after school clubs run by parents because they think their white kids won't get into the robotics/other STEM clubs that Asian parents start. It's crazy!

That said, our ES principal sounds a lot like OP's - the principal doesn't want to do anything extra.

Unfortunately there’s been gatekeeping in activities popular with Asian students, so…

[Anonymous]

Why do you feel entitled to insert yourself into someone else’s workplace?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here, The PTA wants to do really outrageous and awful things like host a free family picnic for the school community on the school grounds or allow scouts to meet after school in the building.

What time of day would this picnic be? Would the parents who have full time jobs and 1 hour commutes be able to attend? What about those who have kids at other schools or with an elderly or disabled relative at home that they have to care for.

To be frank that plan screams of middle class predominantly white stay at home mothers getting a closed door access to an opportunity to influence teachers and school admin which 99% of parents who work and have other obligations don’t have access to.

No thanks, call me when your school offers zoom parent teacher meeting after 6pm when I get home from work and able to get someone to look after the kids while I attend!

Hm, our school welcome picnic was on a Friday at 6pm shortly after school started and allowed families to pre-order pizzas and drinks or bring their own food. It was outside on the playground and all family members were invited. A lot of families came - even the low income families that you clearlycare so much about. Parent-teacher meetings are offered before, during and after school and parents have a choice of if they want to go in person, have a zoom, or just a telephone call. If you can't get on the phone for 10 minutes to talk about your child, that's a YOU problem, not a teacher or admin problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here, The PTA wants to do really outrageous and awful things like host a free family picnic for the school community on the school grounds or allow scouts to meet after school in the building.

Spoken like someone who has no idea how logistics work. A free family picnic is not "free" for the school. A custodian and other staff would have to be available to then clean up after the picnic including the bathrooms, empty trashcans, etc. Administrators would have to "volunteer" to supervise. If you want a family picnic with other families why can't you organize one yourself at a park?

And if you let one group meet after school then you have to let other groups meet after school. This can be problematic if you have agreement with after school care providers who are contracted to use the school.

Really listen to the podcast someone posted. Your title should read "Principal hates the annoying parents".

It's this, right here. Admin and teachers will have to show up. You will say you don't care if they do, but admin will have to, and there will then be pressure on teachers to do so as well. The custodian will be forced to. These are ALL hardworking people with JOBS, and they want to spend their time outside of work hours resting and being with their own families, not grinning and nodding at all the busybody PTA mommies who concoct these stupid events to give themselves someting to do/a place to socialize and feel good about themselves because they don't have real jobs. The parents who work and the poor families won't be able to/want to do this, either. This is for you. YOU, the PTA mommies. It doesn't benefit the students. The principal is right.

Why can't you do this on your own time, with the families of your PTA mommy friends who have the luxury of time? Can't you all take your kids to the park together, or something, without inconveniencing working adults with your stupid little notions?

The solution is to move your kids to a school with like minded parents. PTA culture is a long standing American tradition so apparently some schools are capable of being PTA friendly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here, The PTA wants to do really outrageous and awful things like host a free family picnic for the school community on the school grounds or allow scouts to meet after school in the building.

Spoken like someone who has no idea how logistics work. A free family picnic is not "free" for the school. A custodian and other staff would have to be available to then clean up after the picnic including the bathrooms, empty trashcans, etc. Administrators would have to "volunteer" to supervise. If you want a family picnic with other families why can't you organize one yourself at a park?

And if you let one group meet after school then you have to let other groups meet after school. This can be problematic if you have agreement with after school care providers who are contracted to use the school.

Really listen to the podcast someone posted. Your title should read "Principal hates the annoying parents".

It's this, right here. Admin and teachers will have to show up. You will say you don't care if they do, but admin will have to, and there will then be pressure on teachers to do so as well. The custodian will be forced to. These are ALL hardworking people with JOBS, and they want to spend their time outside of work hours resting and being with their own families, not grinning and nodding at all the busybody PTA mommies who concoct these stupid events to give themselves someting to do/a place to socialize and feel good about themselves because they don't have real jobs. The parents who work and the poor families won't be able to/want to do this, either. This is for you. YOU, the PTA mommies. It doesn't benefit the students. The principal is right.

Why can't you do this on your own time, with the families of your PTA mommy friends who have the luxury of time? Can't you all take your kids to the park together, or something, without inconveniencing working adults with your stupid little notions?

In that case, we should all stop donating to the PTAs, the teachers can use the time they would otherwise have spent at the school picnic going to Walmart to buy the supplies that the PTO normally buys for them and delivers to the classroom! Easy peasy!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our GS troop meets at school. DCPS.

So does ours in FCPS. FCPS has a community use policy. You have to register and request to use the space through a centralized system. The school administration approves it. Non-profits who are registered can use the space for free. Other members of the community have to pay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, this reminds me of an annoying Girl Scout leader (and I have been a Girl Scout leader myself) who kept scheduling meetings and social events for after school on half days, when all kids with working parents were already signed up for aftercare. Their parents, including myself, could not get them to the meetings or the extra social event, like roller skating, playground meet-up (at a playground just over the fence from the school so the girls who could not attend could peer over the fence at the luckier girls at the playground), etc. She kept saying she was doing it “for the love of the girls,” but I would have rather she just skipped the whole thing because it created this huge social problem for me and my child, who desperately wanted to go.

I worked full time for part of my son’s elementary school and I had a relative, a couple friends and a babysitter who I could ask in a bind - they’d pick up my kid and bring him wherever he needed to be. A playground next to the school would be super easy. Why would I work if I didn’t have money for it as a result of working?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here, The PTA wants to do really outrageous and awful things like host a free family picnic for the school community on the school grounds or allow scouts to meet after school in the building.

Spoken like someone who has no idea how logistics work. A free family picnic is not "free" for the school. A custodian and other staff would have to be available to then clean up after the picnic including the bathrooms, empty trashcans, etc. Administrators would have to "volunteer" to supervise. If you want a family picnic with other families why can't you organize one yourself at a park?

And if you let one group meet after school then you have to let other groups meet after school. This can be problematic if you have agreement with after school care providers who are contracted to use the school.

Really listen to the podcast someone posted. Your title should read "Principal hates the annoying parents".

It's this, right here. Admin and teachers will have to show up. You will say you don't care if they do, but admin will have to, and there will then be pressure on teachers to do so as well. The custodian will be forced to. These are ALL hardworking people with JOBS, and they want to spend their time outside of work hours resting and being with their own families, not grinning and nodding at all the busybody PTA mommies who concoct these stupid events to give themselves someting to do/a place to socialize and feel good about themselves because they don't have real jobs. The parents who work and the poor families won't be able to/want to do this, either. This is for you. YOU, the PTA mommies. It doesn't benefit the students. The principal is right.

Why can't you do this on your own time, with the families of your PTA mommy friends who have the luxury of time? Can't you all take your kids to the park together, or something, without inconveniencing working adults with your stupid little notions?

In that case, we should all stop donating to the PTAs, the teachers can use the time they would otherwise have spent at the school picnic going to Walmart to buy the supplies that the PTO normally buys for them and delivers to the classroom! Easy peasy!

jfc you think PTA funds are a form of blackmail? Don't answer that. From our experience, the white parents with the biggest mouths were also the biggest morons, and more than likely they ran the PTA and helped screw up the school environment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here, The PTA wants to do really outrageous and awful things like host a free family picnic for the school community on the school grounds or allow scouts to meet after school in the building.

What time of day would this picnic be? Would the parents who have full time jobs and 1 hour commutes be able to attend? What about those who have kids at other schools or with an elderly or disabled relative at home that they have to care for.

To be frank that plan screams of middle class predominantly white stay at home mothers getting a closed door access to an opportunity to influence teachers and school admin which 99% of parents who work and have other obligations don’t have access to.

No thanks, call me when your school offers zoom parent teacher meeting after 6pm when I get home from work and able to get someone to look after the kids while I attend!

Hm, our school welcome picnic was on a Friday at 6pm shortly after school started and allowed families to pre-order pizzas and drinks or bring their own food. It was outside on the playground and all family members were invited. A lot of families came - even the low income families that you clearlycare so much about. Parent-teacher meetings are offered before, during and after school and parents have a choice of if they want to go in person, have a zoom, or just a telephone call. If you can't get on the phone for 10 minutes to talk about your child, that's a YOU problem, not a teacher or admin problem.

That’s a great policy! All schools should do that. My kids have flown the nest now but pre pandemic I would get phone calls at 10am asking me to attend an in person meeting before 3pm when I was at work at a hospital with patient appointments booked solid until 5pm minus 30min for lunch at 1pm. Totally unfeasible. if the pandemics WFH explosion has improved that flexibility then fantastic!