Are we ready for the Thanksgiving Vent thread?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This year I have my kids for thanksgiving. I’m not a holiday person, and overall hate cooking and cleaning, so usually for holidays we’ll just go out or get a pizza.

My new BF (who doesn’t have kids) grew up in a very broken family and later on foster care, so my holiday plan troubled him greatly. He likes the idea of the wholesome family during the holidays. So he said I can’t do pizza, don’t worry, he’ll handle thanksgiving dinner.

Then every night this week has talked about how stressed he is trying to plan dinner and asking me a million questions. Should we do ham or turkey? Should we cook or get it catered? Who should we buy it from? What do we do if it isn’t shipped in time?

Finally I was like omg, shut up, I’ll just handle it. So now here I am making a damn thanksgiving dinner I didn’t want to make so my BF can try to heal his childhood trauma.

And yes, I know I did this to myself.

At least on the plus side, I found a recipe for a one sheet pan thanksgiving dinner. So just a matter of sticking things on the pan over 3 hours. Hoping it’s not too difficult.

And thus you perpetuated the Hapless Man Agenda.

Instead of taking the time to talk through and teach and coach, and help him understand the process of thinking through and making decisions and making a time table, and shopping for ingredients and pre-prep, making ahead, etc., you just “handled it.” Instead of passing on wisdom and planning and thought processes, you just did it yourself. And now you’re resentful.

I know. I KNOW. I just did NOT want to feel like mommy teaching her baby boy how to shop and cook. I got a BF because I feel like mommy most of the time and wanted to feel like a sexy, desirable woman some of the time.

I’m also PMSing and overall just mad at the world.

Lesson learned. From now on, I’m just sticking to whatever my original plan is.

You are sexy without the man-boy. You can't fix him. Break up after the holidays, at the latest.

[Anonymous]

I just wish my sister would wear her hearing aids. None of us are elderly, so it's annoying to constantly repeat myself and have to listen to her phone ding loudly. I have asked and asked.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t care that I’ve already posted about this. I hate the centerpiece my MIL brought. It doesn’t fit the table, and it’s ugly as sin: orange lilies, brown and orange mums, two big orange candles. Bleh, it’s hideous.

You have my permission to dismantle it. Tell her you like it so much you're going to spread it around. I hate mums so those get chucked. Everything else gets reassambled into a few reasonable bouquets with greenery or ivy from outside, and candles go into a lantern or somewhere you don't have to look at them. I hate orange too.

OP here. It’s too big for the table, with some of the petals and leaves overhanging onto the plates set at the very center of the table. I just assigned DD the task of making place cards, and told her to put Grandma here and Grandpa here, so they’ll get the Foliage Seats.

Many times, we remove the centerpiece to make room at the table while we eat. Why don’t you do that? Wouldn’t want to get gravy or butter on that beauty. 😁

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This year I have my kids for thanksgiving. I’m not a holiday person, and overall hate cooking and cleaning, so usually for holidays we’ll just go out or get a pizza.

My new BF (who doesn’t have kids) grew up in a very broken family and later on foster care, so my holiday plan troubled him greatly. He likes the idea of the wholesome family during the holidays. So he said I can’t do pizza, don’t worry, he’ll handle thanksgiving dinner.

Then every night this week has talked about how stressed he is trying to plan dinner and asking me a million questions. Should we do ham or turkey? Should we cook or get it catered? Who should we buy it from? What do we do if it isn’t shipped in time?

Finally I was like omg, shut up, I’ll just handle it. So now here I am making a damn thanksgiving dinner I didn’t want to make so my BF can try to heal his childhood trauma.

And yes, I know I did this to myself.

At least on the plus side, I found a recipe for a one sheet pan thanksgiving dinner. So just a matter of sticking things on the pan over 3 hours. Hoping it’s not too difficult.

And thus you perpetuated the Hapless Man Agenda.

Instead of taking the time to talk through and teach and coach, and help him understand the process of thinking through and making decisions and making a time table, and shopping for ingredients and pre-prep, making ahead, etc., you just “handled it.” Instead of passing on wisdom and planning and thought processes, you just did it yourself. And now you’re resentful.

I know. I KNOW. I just did NOT want to feel like mommy teaching her baby boy how to shop and cook. I got a BF because I feel like mommy most of the time and wanted to feel like a sexy, desirable woman some of the time.

I’m also PMSing and overall just mad at the world.

Lesson learned. From now on, I’m just sticking to whatever my original plan is.

Well, he never had proper parents and a stable household, so how would he know how? Teaching and helping a partner to learn a skill they actively want to learn is not “babying.”

But you don’t want a partner, you want a toy boy, so there’s that.

If only there was some sort of device that held instructions for literally everything in the entire world….and if only it was small enough men could carry it around with them wherever they go so they could always get their questions answered…..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t care that I’ve already posted about this. I hate the centerpiece my MIL brought. It doesn’t fit the table, and it’s ugly as sin: orange lilies, brown and orange mums, two big orange candles. Bleh, it’s hideous.

You have my permission to dismantle it. Tell her you like it so much you're going to spread it around. I hate mums so those get chucked. Everything else gets reassambled into a few reasonable bouquets with greenery or ivy from outside, and candles go into a lantern or somewhere you don't have to look at them. I hate orange too.

Agreed. This sounds atrocious

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This year I have my kids for thanksgiving. I’m not a holiday person, and overall hate cooking and cleaning, so usually for holidays we’ll just go out or get a pizza.

My new BF (who doesn’t have kids) grew up in a very broken family and later on foster care, so my holiday plan troubled him greatly. He likes the idea of the wholesome family during the holidays. So he said I can’t do pizza, don’t worry, he’ll handle thanksgiving dinner.

Then every night this week has talked about how stressed he is trying to plan dinner and asking me a million questions. Should we do ham or turkey? Should we cook or get it catered? Who should we buy it from? What do we do if it isn’t shipped in time?

Finally I was like omg, shut up, I’ll just handle it. So now here I am making a damn thanksgiving dinner I didn’t want to make so my BF can try to heal his childhood trauma.

And yes, I know I did this to myself.

At least on the plus side, I found a recipe for a one sheet pan thanksgiving dinner. So just a matter of sticking things on the pan over 3 hours. Hoping it’s not too difficult.

This whole post is sad and IMO an example of someone who doesn't know how to give thanks.

+1. Unlike other posts here which are funny because many of us can relate, this is sad and depressing. These poor kids. OP please think long and hard about what you’ve written here. You do not appear to be a healed or caring person yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This year I have my kids for thanksgiving. I’m not a holiday person, and overall hate cooking and cleaning, so usually for holidays we’ll just go out or get a pizza.

My new BF (who doesn’t have kids) grew up in a very broken family and later on foster care, so my holiday plan troubled him greatly. He likes the idea of the wholesome family during the holidays. So he said I can’t do pizza, don’t worry, he’ll handle thanksgiving dinner.

Then every night this week has talked about how stressed he is trying to plan dinner and asking me a million questions. Should we do ham or turkey? Should we cook or get it catered? Who should we buy it from? What do we do if it isn’t shipped in time?

Finally I was like omg, shut up, I’ll just handle it. So now here I am making a damn thanksgiving dinner I didn’t want to make so my BF can try to heal his childhood trauma.

And yes, I know I did this to myself.

At least on the plus side, I found a recipe for a one sheet pan thanksgiving dinner. So just a matter of sticking things on the pan over 3 hours. Hoping it’s not too difficult.

And thus you perpetuated the Hapless Man Agenda.

Instead of taking the time to talk through and teach and coach, and help him understand the process of thinking through and making decisions and making a time table, and shopping for ingredients and pre-prep, making ahead, etc., you just “handled it.” Instead of passing on wisdom and planning and thought processes, you just did it yourself. And now you’re resentful.

I know. I KNOW. I just did NOT want to feel like mommy teaching her baby boy how to shop and cook. I got a BF because I feel like mommy most of the time and wanted to feel like a sexy, desirable woman some of the time.

I’m also PMSing and overall just mad at the world.

Lesson learned. From now on, I’m just sticking to whatever my original plan is.

Please do him a favor and break up with him. And get yourself into serious therapy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t care that I’ve already posted about this. I hate the centerpiece my MIL brought. It doesn’t fit the table, and it’s ugly as sin: orange lilies, brown and orange mums, two big orange candles. Bleh, it’s hideous.

You have my permission to dismantle it. Tell her you like it so much you're going to spread it around. I hate mums so those get chucked. Everything else gets reassambled into a few reasonable bouquets with greenery or ivy from outside, and candles go into a lantern or somewhere you don't have to look at them. I hate orange too.

OP here. It’s too big for the table, with some of the petals and leaves overhanging onto the plates set at the very center of the table. I just assigned DD the task of making place cards, and told her to put Grandma here and Grandpa here, so they’ll get the Foliage Seats.

Foliage seats would become a long term family joke in our household. I love it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't have anything yet because my SIL is not here yet but I'll be back!!

My only vent is that my SIL continues to ask me if I want crab or Old Bay in any of the dishes. This is the tenth year. I still don’t know if she’s joking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This year I have my kids for thanksgiving. I’m not a holiday person, and overall hate cooking and cleaning, so usually for holidays we’ll just go out or get a pizza.

My new BF (who doesn’t have kids) grew up in a very broken family and later on foster care, so my holiday plan troubled him greatly. He likes the idea of the wholesome family during the holidays. So he said I can’t do pizza, don’t worry, he’ll handle thanksgiving dinner.

Then every night this week has talked about how stressed he is trying to plan dinner and asking me a million questions. Should we do ham or turkey? Should we cook or get it catered? Who should we buy it from? What do we do if it isn’t shipped in time?

Finally I was like omg, shut up, I’ll just handle it. So now here I am making a damn thanksgiving dinner I didn’t want to make so my BF can try to heal his childhood trauma.

And yes, I know I did this to myself.

At least on the plus side, I found a recipe for a one sheet pan thanksgiving dinner. So just a matter of sticking things on the pan over 3 hours. Hoping it’s not too difficult.

And thus you perpetuated the Hapless Man Agenda.

Instead of taking the time to talk through and teach and coach, and help him understand the process of thinking through and making decisions and making a time table, and shopping for ingredients and pre-prep, making ahead, etc., you just “handled it.” Instead of passing on wisdom and planning and thought processes, you just did it yourself. And now you’re resentful.

I know. I KNOW. I just did NOT want to feel like mommy teaching her baby boy how to shop and cook. I got a BF because I feel like mommy most of the time and wanted to feel like a sexy, desirable woman some of the time.

I’m also PMSing and overall just mad at the world.

Lesson learned. From now on, I’m just sticking to whatever my original plan is.

You are sexy without the man-boy. You can't fix him. Break up after the holidays, at the latest.

She is definitely not sexy. How hard is it to order a Thanksgiving meal? Geez. Do it for your BF and kids. I can't believe kids have to be subjected to pizza for every holiday.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This year I have my kids for thanksgiving. I’m not a holiday person, and overall hate cooking and cleaning, so usually for holidays we’ll just go out or get a pizza.

My new BF (who doesn’t have kids) grew up in a very broken family and later on foster care, so my holiday plan troubled him greatly. He likes the idea of the wholesome family during the holidays. So he said I can’t do pizza, don’t worry, he’ll handle thanksgiving dinner.

Then every night this week has talked about how stressed he is trying to plan dinner and asking me a million questions. Should we do ham or turkey? Should we cook or get it catered? Who should we buy it from? What do we do if it isn’t shipped in time?

Finally I was like omg, shut up, I’ll just handle it. So now here I am making a damn thanksgiving dinner I didn’t want to make so my BF can try to heal his childhood trauma.

And yes, I know I did this to myself.

At least on the plus side, I found a recipe for a one sheet pan thanksgiving dinner. So just a matter of sticking things on the pan over 3 hours. Hoping it’s not too difficult.

And thus you perpetuated the Hapless Man Agenda.

Instead of taking the time to talk through and teach and coach, and help him understand the process of thinking through and making decisions and making a time table, and shopping for ingredients and pre-prep, making ahead, etc., you just “handled it.” Instead of passing on wisdom and planning and thought processes, you just did it yourself. And now you’re resentful.

I know. I KNOW. I just did NOT want to feel like mommy teaching her baby boy how to shop and cook. I got a BF because I feel like mommy most of the time and wanted to feel like a sexy, desirable woman some of the time.

I’m also PMSing and overall just mad at the world.

Lesson learned. From now on, I’m just sticking to whatever my original plan is.

You are sexy without the man-boy. You can't fix him. Break up after the holidays, at the latest.

She is definitely not sexy. How hard is it to order a Thanksgiving meal? Geez. Do it for your BF and kids. I can't believe kids have to be subjected to pizza for every holiday.

If it's so easy, why can't the BF do it since he volunteered to take charge?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This year I have my kids for thanksgiving. I’m not a holiday person, and overall hate cooking and cleaning, so usually for holidays we’ll just go out or get a pizza.

My new BF (who doesn’t have kids) grew up in a very broken family and later on foster care, so my holiday plan troubled him greatly. He likes the idea of the wholesome family during the holidays. So he said I can’t do pizza, don’t worry, he’ll handle thanksgiving dinner.

Then every night this week has talked about how stressed he is trying to plan dinner and asking me a million questions. Should we do ham or turkey? Should we cook or get it catered? Who should we buy it from? What do we do if it isn’t shipped in time?

Finally I was like omg, shut up, I’ll just handle it. So now here I am making a damn thanksgiving dinner I didn’t want to make so my BF can try to heal his childhood trauma.

And yes, I know I did this to myself.

At least on the plus side, I found a recipe for a one sheet pan thanksgiving dinner. So just a matter of sticking things on the pan over 3 hours. Hoping it’s not too difficult.

And thus you perpetuated the Hapless Man Agenda.

Instead of taking the time to talk through and teach and coach, and help him understand the process of thinking through and making decisions and making a time table, and shopping for ingredients and pre-prep, making ahead, etc., you just “handled it.” Instead of passing on wisdom and planning and thought processes, you just did it yourself. And now you’re resentful.

I know. I KNOW. I just did NOT want to feel like mommy teaching her baby boy how to shop and cook. I got a BF because I feel like mommy most of the time and wanted to feel like a sexy, desirable woman some of the time.

I’m also PMSing and overall just mad at the world.

Lesson learned. From now on, I’m just sticking to whatever my original plan is.

Well, he never had proper parents and a stable household, so how would he know how? Teaching and helping a partner to learn a skill they actively want to learn is not “babying.”

But you don’t want a partner, you want a toy boy, so there’s that.

If he’s over 25 he’s had many thanksgivings to attempt this before telling OP that he would handle it. He may still have some trauma from his childhood, which is very sad but he would not be a fit for my life, sounds like not for OP either.

[Anonymous]

Does anyone else just have alarmingly stupid ILs? Like so dumb that sometimes when they talk I worry that there is some kind of genetic issue and my kids will inherit it? Because I do.

My BIL just announced that he brought steak tips (...why??) but that he packed them in his luggage for some reason (he also brought a cooler, he drove, but he put the steak tips in with his clothes for some reason). He left them there for almost two days and now he's asking me what he should do with them. I'm like "throw them away?" But he wants to salvage them. We are making a typical Thanksgiving dinner. We had asked him if he wanted to make anything or if he had any requests for dinner and he said no, whatever we made was good. But now he's pestering me about these freaking steak tips while my DH and I are both in the midst of making like 6 different items. I am currently in the bathroom texting with my DH, who is in the kitchen, and we are trying to figure out how to deal with this. BIL is very sensitive and prone to blowing up if he feels slighted. Sigh.

I don't normally drink but will be pouring my first glass of wine at 1pm today.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This year I have my kids for thanksgiving. I’m not a holiday person, and overall hate cooking and cleaning, so usually for holidays we’ll just go out or get a pizza.

My new BF (who doesn’t have kids) grew up in a very broken family and later on foster care, so my holiday plan troubled him greatly. He likes the idea of the wholesome family during the holidays. So he said I can’t do pizza, don’t worry, he’ll handle thanksgiving dinner.

Then every night this week has talked about how stressed he is trying to plan dinner and asking me a million questions. Should we do ham or turkey? Should we cook or get it catered? Who should we buy it from? What do we do if it isn’t shipped in time?

Finally I was like omg, shut up, I’ll just handle it. So now here I am making a damn thanksgiving dinner I didn’t want to make so my BF can try to heal his childhood trauma.

And yes, I know I did this to myself.

At least on the plus side, I found a recipe for a one sheet pan thanksgiving dinner. So just a matter of sticking things on the pan over 3 hours. Hoping it’s not too difficult.

And thus you perpetuated the Hapless Man Agenda.

Instead of taking the time to talk through and teach and coach, and help him understand the process of thinking through and making decisions and making a time table, and shopping for ingredients and pre-prep, making ahead, etc., you just “handled it.” Instead of passing on wisdom and planning and thought processes, you just did it yourself. And now you’re resentful.

I know. I KNOW. I just did NOT want to feel like mommy teaching her baby boy how to shop and cook. I got a BF because I feel like mommy most of the time and wanted to feel like a sexy, desirable woman some of the time.

I’m also PMSing and overall just mad at the world.

Lesson learned. From now on, I’m just sticking to whatever my original plan is.

Well, he never had proper parents and a stable household, so how would he know how? Teaching and helping a partner to learn a skill they actively want to learn is not “babying.”

But you don’t want a partner, you want a toy boy, so there’s that.

If he’s over 25 he’s had many thanksgivings to attempt this before telling OP that he would handle it. He may still have some trauma from his childhood, which is very sad but he would not be a fit for my life, sounds like not for OP either.

This. Honestly, what the PP describes her sounds like a classic man move where he claims he's going to do something, performatively flounders at it ("this is so hard! I can't figure it out! gosh, can you help me?" and then slinks away while the woman in his life does it for him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does anyone else just have alarmingly stupid ILs? Like so dumb that sometimes when they talk I worry that there is some kind of genetic issue and my kids will inherit it? Because I do.

My BIL just announced that he brought steak tips (...why??) but that he packed them in his luggage for some reason (he also brought a cooler, he drove, but he put the steak tips in with his clothes for some reason). He left them there for almost two days and now he's asking me what he should do with them. I'm like "throw them away?" But he wants to salvage them. We are making a typical Thanksgiving dinner. We had asked him if he wanted to make anything or if he had any requests for dinner and he said no, whatever we made was good. But now he's pestering me about these freaking steak tips while my DH and I are both in the midst of making like 6 different items. I am currently in the bathroom texting with my DH, who is in the kitchen, and we are trying to figure out how to deal with this. BIL is very sensitive and prone to blowing up if he feels slighted. Sigh.

I don't normally drink but will be pouring my first glass of wine at 1pm today.

Ack!

“No, I’m sorry, we’re not able to make your (Spoiled Meat) dish today. Maybe next year!”