Roommate sleeping 18 hours a day

[Anonymous]

This happened to my cousin in college. My other cousin found out and called her mom. Turned out it was a mental health crisis. I would call the mom and say you are concerned from a medical standpoint that she may have mono or something else and felt like you’d want to know if it was your child and leave it at that.

[Anonymous]

I know someone who had a roommate like this. Turned out the roommate had a fairly serious but undiagnosed medical condition and got mono on top of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a mom I would want to know if my kid was sleeping this much and likely very depressed. Please do reach out to her parent. I’m sorry for your daughter too. That’s not easy. I would want to request a room transfer.

+1

Absolutely contact the other child's parent & disclose the situation. You may save a life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't tell the mom. If your DD is anxious about being perceived as a narc with the RA, it's going to be ten times worse if her mom gets involved.

You need to give your DD some spine; she's old enough to advocate for herself. If the roommate is giving her a hard time about being awake in the room during normal daytime hours, it's impacting her as well. If the RA isn't helpful, she should find someone in the student life division of her school to discuss how to handle this.

Idiotic "advice".

If one doesn't get involved in a situation like this, then when should one get involved ?

[Anonymous]

I would want to know and I would appreciate a call giving me a heads up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thank you for all your thoughts. I'm the OP. I really like the girl's mom--she's someone I could be close friends with if we were from the same home town. I need to sleep on this (and of course it's way to late to call now) but I think I'll call her tomorrow.
My daughter really likes this girl and they are fairly close. The sleep issue has crept up over the past 3 weeks. It's definitely something that started out feeling very normal "oh, XX is just tired lately" to feeling decidedly not normal (enough that she reached out to me for advice).

Good for you, OP! And good for your daughter, for reaching out for advice. Calling the other mom is the right thing to do rather than leave it to your young and inexperienced daughter to manage. I would be so grateful to you as the other parent.

[Anonymous]

Just inform the parents or the RA. It is ok to be the tattletale because the roommate will end up leaving anyways. You can always deny to others that you spoke up. You could be saving this girl's life and career by getting her the help from her parents.

[Anonymous]

OP, put yourself if the other mom's shoes. If I were you, I'd want to know.

If either your daughter or you is worried about being identified, there are likely anonymous ways to report a concern - I know there were back in the 90s when I was at school. Any college anywhere would want to know if a student was having issues of any kind, whether medical, homesickness or mental health. I am positive there are resources there on campus to help.

One of my roommates began exhibiting strange behavior mid way through the Fall semester. My friends and I became concerned but didn't know what to do. We did talk to the RA, who essentially brushed it off, and after a couple more weeks, we reported it to a campus counselor/mental health professional. It turned out she had Anorexia and was extremely skilled at hiding it - it was something that was known to administrators and counselors, but had we not reported it would have gone unnoticed. She ended up leaving that semester and getting the help she needed. It was a hard situation, but I'd like to think despite our reservations that we did the "right" thing, we did what was best for her and her long-term health and wellness.

I know that you likely don't know everything about this girl, nor does your daughter, but it's causing her stress and worry, not to mention impacting her experience at school. So I'd figure out a way that everyone is comfortable letting someone know what is happening.

[Anonymous]

OP, what did you end up doing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thank you for all your thoughts. I'm the OP. I really like the girl's mom--she's someone I could be close friends with if we were from the same home town. I need to sleep on this (and of course it's way to late to call now) but I think I'll call her tomorrow.
My daughter really likes this girl and they are fairly close. The sleep issue has crept up over the past 3 weeks. It's definitely something that started out feeling very normal "oh, XX is just tired lately" to feeling decidedly not normal (enough that she reached out to me for advice).

OP - calling the mom is a kind act that you will not regret. All you are doing is expressing concern. If I was the kid's mom, I would appreciate another parent caring enough to say something. You should be proud of your daughter for having the courage to say something to you.

[Anonymous]

Mind your own business Mom.

[Anonymous]

Depression. Watch out for s…….

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, what did you end up doing?

I've also been thinking about this situation and sending thoughts to everyone involved.

[Anonymous]

I think if this is only going on three weeks, you should not be calling my mom yet. I would encourage my daughter to ask probing but friendly questions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was that sleeping roommate. Turns out I had an autoimmune disorder.

I was going to point out that this could also be a symptom of a physical illness as well. She should really get checked out - could be a warning sign of a stroke or something. Or mono or autoimmune.