Anyone else as irrational, have 18 M net worth but want to keep working

[Anonymous]

We’re mid-50s and starting to think seriously about when “enough” is enough. Our net worth is around $16M, with about $13.5 in liquid investments, and we both still work full-time. My spouse earns more, but we’ve always lived well below our means and focused on saving and investing steadily over the years.

We don’t spend much on status items — most of our budget goes to the kids’ activities, tutors (they’re in public school), and family trips. My job is low stress with good flexibility, and my spouse genuinely loves their work, so there’s not much urgency to stop. For me, retirement is less about the money and more about setting an example for our kids — that work has purpose and value. Our youngest will be out of the house in a couple of years, so I’m thinking about retiring around 63, once the kids are through college. Hopefully we’ll both be healthy and ready to enjoy that next stage together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Like a dragon sitting on its hoard and guarding it, you have lost all perspective and will never feel safe, comfortable, or content. Perhaps start giving back so that you can change your awful mentality.

+1

We are hovering around 3M in our late 40s/early 50s, but don’t envy you at all. Maybe because it seems you lack empathy and awareness of the world around you. I’m definitely not motivated to work forever or much longer. I can’t relate to your hoarding behavior at all. The world has so many people in desperate need. It’s gross.

You don’t really know how much she gives away. We give away 10% of our pretax income every year (and pay close to 50% of our income in taxes) but the stock market has been so insane for the past 15 years that the money just has grown insanely. We drive beat up cars, send our kids to public school, have never stayed at a Four Seasons or similar fancy pants place, and buy most of our clothes at places like Costco and Target. We don’t pay for house cleaners or lawn care or really eat out much or drink wine or play golf or buy jewelry or fly first class or have any other expensive habits. We give away a six figure number every year and I expect we’ll give away more when we die. But I don’t want to give it all away now and then not have money for assisted living, or to pay for medical care if one of my kids gets some rare illness. I don’t think that makes me Smaug.

[Anonymous]

Our net worth is about $13M (we are in our early 60s) but I am still working for another two years or so. That's because I have equity in my company and I'm expecting to make another million, million and a half, on exit. Otherwise I would have retired 4 years ago when my husband retired.

I agree it's hard to take your foot off the gas. Strong psychology issues there.

[Anonymous]

I'm an immigrant. I don't have the mentality.
Why not ask recommendation to a therapist because it's clearly not about money.
Perhaps you should go cash and skip the therapist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Like a dragon sitting on its hoard and guarding it, you have lost all perspective and will never feel safe, comfortable, or content. Perhaps start giving back so that you can change your awful mentality.

+1

We are hovering around 3M in our late 40s/early 50s, but don’t envy you at all. Maybe because it seems you lack empathy and awareness of the world around you. I’m definitely not motivated to work forever or much longer. I can’t relate to your hoarding behavior at all. The world has so many people in desperate need. It’s gross.

You don’t really know how much she gives away. We give away 10% of our pretax income every year (and pay close to 50% of our income in taxes) but the stock market has been so insane for the past 15 years that the money just has grown insanely. We drive beat up cars, send our kids to public school, have never stayed at a Four Seasons or similar fancy pants place, and buy most of our clothes at places like Costco and Target. We don’t pay for house cleaners or lawn care or really eat out much or drink wine or play golf or buy jewelry or fly first class or have any other expensive habits. We give away a six figure number every year and I expect we’ll give away more when we die. But I don’t want to give it all away now and then not have money for assisted living, or to pay for medical care if one of my kids gets some rare illness. I don’t think that makes me Smaug.

People OP is a troll post. She is not giving away money. There is no way she saved that in stocks with her salary and spend and ages.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Like a dragon sitting on its hoard and guarding it, you have lost all perspective and will never feel safe, comfortable, or content. Perhaps start giving back so that you can change your awful mentality.

+1

We are hovering around 3M in our late 40s/early 50s, but don’t envy you at all. Maybe because it seems you lack empathy and awareness of the world around you. I’m definitely not motivated to work forever or much longer. I can’t relate to your hoarding behavior at all. The world has so many people in desperate need. It’s gross.

You don’t really know how much she gives away. We give away 10% of our pretax income every year (and pay close to 50% of our income in taxes) but the stock market has been so insane for the past 15 years that the money just has grown insanely. We drive beat up cars, send our kids to public school, have never stayed at a Four Seasons or similar fancy pants place, and buy most of our clothes at places like Costco and Target. We don’t pay for house cleaners or lawn care or really eat out much or drink wine or play golf or buy jewelry or fly first class or have any other expensive habits. We give away a six figure number every year and I expect we’ll give away more when we die. But I don’t want to give it all away now and then not have money for assisted living, or to pay for medical care if one of my kids gets some rare illness. I don’t think that makes me Smaug.

People OP is a troll post. She is not giving away money. There is no way she saved that in stocks with her salary and spend and ages.

lol, 12:02. OP here. Not a troll post. Thank you for all of the sincere responses, it is helpful to hear. Yes, we do give to charities. We underspent the majority of DHs career.

[Anonymous]

We have about $8M, so not as much, and are late/mid-40s with three kids two still in elementary.

I’m an executive working for PE-backed exits every 4-5 years and with luck will do that 3-4 more times before retiring.

To me it’s the competition that drives me. I suppose if I found another way to compete at a high level I might retire sooner and do that, but right now succeeding in business feeds the competitive spirit. I think a lot of better off people feel this way. I like to ski and hike and fish and travel, etc., but that doesn’t get the competitive juices flowing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have about $8M, so not as much, and are late/mid-40s with three kids two still in elementary.

I’m an executive working for PE-backed exits every 4-5 years and with luck will do that 3-4 more times before retiring.

To me it’s the competition that drives me. I suppose if I found another way to compete at a high level I might retire sooner and do that, but right now succeeding in business feeds the competitive spirit. I think a lot of better off people feel this way. I like to ski and hike and fish and travel, etc., but that doesn’t get the competitive juices flowing.

It's definitely about the "competition" because suddenly every Larlo on DCUM with a HHI of $250K has $5M by 40 and now all of sudden $25M is middle class at 50.

It just defies the odds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Like a dragon sitting on its hoard and guarding it, you have lost all perspective and will never feel safe, comfortable, or content. Perhaps start giving back so that you can change your awful mentality.

+1

We are hovering around 3M in our late 40s/early 50s, but don’t envy you at all. Maybe because it seems you lack empathy and awareness of the world around you. I’m definitely not motivated to work forever or much longer. I can’t relate to your hoarding behavior at all. The world has so many people in desperate need. It’s gross.

You don’t really know how much she gives away. We give away 10% of our pretax income every year (and pay close to 50% of our income in taxes) but the stock market has been so insane for the past 15 years that the money just has grown insanely. We drive beat up cars, send our kids to public school, have never stayed at a Four Seasons or similar fancy pants place, and buy most of our clothes at places like Costco and Target. We don’t pay for house cleaners or lawn care or really eat out much or drink wine or play golf or buy jewelry or fly first class or have any other expensive habits. We give away a six figure number every year and I expect we’ll give away more when we die. But I don’t want to give it all away now and then not have money for assisted living, or to pay for medical care if one of my kids gets some rare illness. I don’t think that makes me Smaug.

People OP is a troll post. She is not giving away money. There is no way she saved that in stocks with her salary and spend and ages.

lol, 12:02. OP here. Not a troll post. Thank you for all of the sincere responses, it is helpful to hear. Yes, we do give to charities. We underspent the majority of DHs career.

I'm sure you have a wing named after you, well done!

[Anonymous]

This level of wealth hoarding is pathological. Seek help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How liquid is your $18m? I understand working if you love to work. I don't, and I'd stop at $10m.

This is (I would think quite obviously) the real question. If you love to work, keep working. If not, ride off into the sunset. The only caveats are if you have extraordinarily high expenses that will persist into retirement, or if you have some reason that you need to pass along a significant inheritance (a child with profound special needs, for example).

OP, if you are really having thoughts that this isn't enough, when your spend is 1/3 - 1/4 of your income (not your assets), then it seems like you would benefit from some intervention.

[Anonymous]

Posters like OP are hopeless. If you have $18 million and can’t find a way to live without working for money, something’s wrong. On the other hand, if you just love to work, the money doesn’t really matter. This isn’t that hard, OP.

[Anonymous]

Are you working for the purpose of making money or are you working because your job is meaningful to you?

If the former, you may have a dragon's heart. Yes, you have enough, you don't need to hoard more. Go, be free, spend much and help the economy, and donate a ton while you are at it.

If the latter, then keep working, or find an unpaid non-profit board position, become a regular volunteer at a place that holds meaning for you. There is plenty of work out there that needs to be done by people who have time and talent and don't need more money.

There is always another way to look at your life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not a troll post, but between investments and cash, we have a NW of 18M. I grew up with an immigrant mentality, do have a hard time believing it is enough. Also, with the stock market (majority of holdings) it feels like it can disappear/crash…how do you transition into feeling like you are ok?

What's your HHI? I wouldn't work at that NW but quitting would only mean eliminating 1% of my NW (gross). A rounding error. If you make $2M/year, then I could understand still working.

OP here. HHI is around 780k, used to be closer to 1M, but now a little less. Thanks, the "real" responses to this post are helpful.

OP here. I am 53 , DH 57

Was there an inheritance? Did someone sell a startup along the line?

[Anonymous]

No inheritance, just living well below means, investing, and earning.