We are Christians and I love Jesus and want my family to also but church on Sunday is killing me

[Anonymous]

Be more like Jesus. You and people around you would be far better off than with your full attendance of any church.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some Protestant churches also have Saturday night services - or Sunday evening.

Agree that Sunday morning with little kids is hard. When my kids were little, they loved going to Sunday school because they got lemonade and crackers. We lapsed as they got older, Sunday school was less fun, and they started to have conflicts on Sunday mornings. it is what it is - we are trying to get back into going now that they are teens, but it is hard. God is much less judgmental than church doctrine might lead you to believe.

It’s extremely hard to get kids to accept church again if you took a “break” when they are little. Teens aren’t going to cooperate if they’ve been sleeping in every Sunday!

Agreed.

OP, I like the 50% strategy that someone else mentioned. I will say that kids are a lot more malleable when they're little ... if you can keep them in the habit with good snacks, coloring books, etc., I think it's good to try.

But also, don't be afraid to take some days off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We always got donuts after church - can you do something like that? Or maybe a slightly later service like 10am?

This was us growing up! Mass, then a trip to Dunkin Donuts. It worked!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some Protestant churches also have Saturday night services - or Sunday evening.

Agree that Sunday morning with little kids is hard. When my kids were little, they loved going to Sunday school because they got lemonade and crackers. We lapsed as they got older, Sunday school was less fun, and they started to have conflicts on Sunday mornings. it is what it is - we are trying to get back into going now that they are teens, but it is hard. God is much less judgmental than church doctrine might lead you to believe.

It’s extremely hard to get kids to accept church again if you took a “break” when they are little. Teens aren’t going to cooperate if they’ve been sleeping in every Sunday!

I was the first poster who mentioned the value of pushing through, and this is why.

That said, I imagine pushing through initial resistance with teens is also valuable. There's always value in church - even on a day when the pastor preaches a dud, the choir/lead singer is out of tune, the pianist is off, and there's a person who smells like BO sitting right in front of you raising their hands every song. Honest.

You've mentioned several things that decrease the value in going to church, but not what makes it valuable nonetheless. What is it?

Lots of things:

1) even if the sermon is a dud and the music is miserable, there's usually something in the service I need to hear. In my case I'm a liturgical Protestant, and I know there's stuff in the prayers we pray every week (or that week every year) and the creeds and such that are really valuable. But I learned during the pandemic that it's not just knowing that content that helps - I can do that reading those prayers at home, right? It's being in a group of people who are passionate about Jesus saying/singing things together. There's nothing like watching an 80-something who can barely stand raise her hands as she sings with a transported look of joy on her face about the truth of God's love. When you get a whole group of people who have been through most trials imaginable and they all are there, showing you how much Jesus matters, it makes you realize Jesus can get you through your trials too.

2) Given that God is in charge and all-knowing, he knows what I need to hear every week. Whether it's some piece of the liturgy that jumps out or the way the dud of a sermon will make me remember a good sermon from the past that I need to remember, even on the bad weeks I always walk away thinking something about God I wouldn't have otherwise. And on the good weeks? On the good weeks I walk away knowing how I need God to transform me and feeling more love for him than ever!

3) There's that time before and after church when you can connect with the congregation - at our church there's coffee and donuts. Seeing friends, going over your week, it's how you build those ties that eventually make you comfortable developing relationships that hold you accountable to living the way you should. Or if you already have those relationships, that 10-20 minutes after church where you chat can be a time to connect without having to set up a lunch date or coffee, or a time to set up a longer time to connect.

4) Tithing matters. There's something that trains the heart about dropping a check/bill in the offering plate on Sunday, that reminds you that your ultimate allegiance is to God. I mean, you could also just give online but little rituals/habits form who we are as people. They help drive our hearts, and what we love is who we are. Supporting God's work helps us love him more, it just does.

5) Singing and saying liturgy, yes even when the piano is out of tune or something, is another habit that helps form heart patterns.

6) Even if the sermon is a dud, someone's still reading the Bible to you. God promises his Word always does his work, and I trust that promise.

I could keep going on and on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Be more like Jesus. You and people around you would be far better off than with your full attendance of any church.

You become more like Jesus in church. People become who they are in community. You see yourself best reflected in the eyes of others, and also see who you can become. Want to be like Jesus? Be in the kind of church where there are lots of Christ-like people.

If God made Christians to go it solo, he wouldn't have put the book of Acts in the Bible or had Paul and others write all those letters to churches. There are way more of those than there are to individuals, and even the ones addressed to individuals were designed to also be read to others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some Protestant churches also have Saturday night services - or Sunday evening.

Agree that Sunday morning with little kids is hard. When my kids were little, they loved going to Sunday school because they got lemonade and crackers. We lapsed as they got older, Sunday school was less fun, and they started to have conflicts on Sunday mornings. it is what it is - we are trying to get back into going now that they are teens, but it is hard. God is much less judgmental than church doctrine might lead you to believe.

It’s extremely hard to get kids to accept church again if you took a “break” when they are little. Teens aren’t going to cooperate if they’ve been sleeping in every Sunday!

I was the first poster who mentioned the value of pushing through, and this is why.

That said, I imagine pushing through initial resistance with teens is also valuable. There's always value in church - even on a day when the pastor preaches a dud, the choir/lead singer is out of tune, the pianist is off, and there's a person who smells like BO sitting right in front of you raising their hands every song. Honest.

You've mentioned several things that decrease the value in going to church, but not what makes it valuable nonetheless. What is it?

Lots of things:

1) even if the sermon is a dud and the music is miserable, there's usually something in the service I need to hear. In my case I'm a liturgical Protestant, and I know there's stuff in the prayers we pray every week (or that week every year) and the creeds and such that are really valuable. But I learned during the pandemic that it's not just knowing that content that helps - I can do that reading those prayers at home, right? It's being in a group of people who are passionate about Jesus saying/singing things together. There's nothing like watching an 80-something who can barely stand raise her hands as she sings with a transported look of joy on her face about the truth of God's love. When you get a whole group of people who have been through most trials imaginable and they all are there, showing you how much Jesus matters, it makes you realize Jesus can get you through your trials too.

2) Given that God is in charge and all-knowing, he knows what I need to hear every week. Whether it's some piece of the liturgy that jumps out or the way the dud of a sermon will make me remember a good sermon from the past that I need to remember, even on the bad weeks I always walk away thinking something about God I wouldn't have otherwise. And on the good weeks? On the good weeks I walk away knowing how I need God to transform me and feeling more love for him than ever!

3) There's that time before and after church when you can connect with the congregation - at our church there's coffee and donuts. Seeing friends, going over your week, it's how you build those ties that eventually make you comfortable developing relationships that hold you accountable to living the way you should. Or if you already have those relationships, that 10-20 minutes after church where you chat can be a time to connect without having to set up a lunch date or coffee, or a time to set up a longer time to connect.

4) Tithing matters. There's something that trains the heart about dropping a check/bill in the offering plate on Sunday, that reminds you that your ultimate allegiance is to God. I mean, you could also just give online but little rituals/habits form who we are as people. They help drive our hearts, and what we love is who we are. Supporting God's work helps us love him more, it just does.

5) Singing and saying liturgy, yes even when the piano is out of tune or something, is another habit that helps form heart patterns.

6) Even if the sermon is a dud, someone's still reading the Bible to you. God promises his Word always does his work, and I trust that promise.

I could keep going on and on.

Unfortunately, God is imaginary.

[Anonymous]

Jesus loves you and wants you to be happy.

Any where people are in fellowship is a church. Even your home.

Stop going to this church that isn't compatible with your life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If I can find multiple hours in our weekend for sports or parties or play dates, I figure I have zero excuses not to find 1 hour for Mass. But you won’t have to look far for an excuse if that’s what you want.

My mother always said that God gives us 168 hours a week and only wants one back from us, so we can at least give him that.

Got does not want you in church one hour a week and ignoring the rest. Man was that

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If I can find multiple hours in our weekend for sports or parties or play dates, I figure I have zero excuses not to find 1 hour for Mass. But you won’t have to look far for an excuse if that’s what you want.

My mother always said that God gives us 168 hours a week and only wants one back from us, so we can at least give him that.

You and your mom know how to make people feel guilty.

DP. Being temporarily ashamed of not doing something you shouldn't isn't a bad thing. It's a good thing. It's how the conscience works.

Then you (if Christian, I acknowledge not everyone on this thread is) take that sin of omission to the cross, acknowledge Jesus died for it and fully paid the penalty, marvel at how amazing he is to be willing to suffer infinite wrath on our behalf for sins tiny and massive, and fill your mind with how much Jesus loves you.

At the end of the process, if conscience is doing it's job, you should feel more beloved and joyful than you did before, and the shame should be turned into resolve to show your love for the one who loves you by doing what he asks.

Not always an easy process, but always a good one.

Perfect. No need to go church. Jesus wrote a blank check, one I haven't cashed yet!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some Protestant churches also have Saturday night services - or Sunday evening.

Agree that Sunday morning with little kids is hard. When my kids were little, they loved going to Sunday school because they got lemonade and crackers. We lapsed as they got older, Sunday school was less fun, and they started to have conflicts on Sunday mornings. it is what it is - we are trying to get back into going now that they are teens, but it is hard. God is much less judgmental than church doctrine might lead you to believe.

It’s extremely hard to get kids to accept church again if you took a “break” when they are little. Teens aren’t going to cooperate if they’ve been sleeping in every Sunday!

I was the first poster who mentioned the value of pushing through, and this is why.

That said, I imagine pushing through initial resistance with teens is also valuable. There's always value in church - even on a day when the pastor preaches a dud, the choir/lead singer is out of tune, the pianist is off, and there's a person who smells like BO sitting right in front of you raising their hands every song. Honest.

You've mentioned several things that decrease the value in going to church, but not what makes it valuable nonetheless. What is it?

Holy Sanctimony.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Jesus loves you and wants you to be happy.

Any where people are in fellowship is a church. Even your home.

Stop going to this church that isn't compatible with your life.

No. Jesus wants you to be holy.

[Anonymous]

Why do you have to go to church only on Sunday? Why can't you go any other day of the week?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Jesus loves you and wants you to be happy.

Any where people are in fellowship is a church. Even your home.

Stop going to this church that isn't compatible with your life.

Actually there are no promises to be “happy” in the Bible or take it easy. You develop the qualities of joy, peace, patience, etc., but not necessarily happiness.

St. Paul actually suffered from an unknown physical ailment that made his life very difficult and not happy. But he moved forward with his mission as he felt ordained to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Be more like Jesus. You and people around you would be far better off than with your full attendance of any church.

Jesus was very rarely alone in scripture. When he did go on the mountain alone to fast and pray, the devil was right there to tempt him. Otherwise Jesus was always with his disciples and other people. Christianity is very much a religion based in community, and not just wandering around by yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some Protestant churches also have Saturday night services - or Sunday evening.

Agree that Sunday morning with little kids is hard. When my kids were little, they loved going to Sunday school because they got lemonade and crackers. We lapsed as they got older, Sunday school was less fun, and they started to have conflicts on Sunday mornings. it is what it is - we are trying to get back into going now that they are teens, but it is hard. God is much less judgmental than church doctrine might lead you to believe.

It’s extremely hard to get kids to accept church again if you took a “break” when they are little. Teens aren’t going to cooperate if they’ve been sleeping in every Sunday!

I was the first poster who mentioned the value of pushing through, and this is why.

That said, I imagine pushing through initial resistance with teens is also valuable. There's always value in church - even on a day when the pastor preaches a dud, the choir/lead singer is out of tune, the pianist is off, and there's a person who smells like BO sitting right in front of you raising their hands every song. Honest.

You've mentioned several things that decrease the value in going to church, but not what makes it valuable nonetheless. What is it?

Lots of things:

1) even if the sermon is a dud and the music is miserable, there's usually something in the service I need to hear. In my case I'm a liturgical Protestant, and I know there's stuff in the prayers we pray every week (or that week every year) and the creeds and such that are really valuable. But I learned during the pandemic that it's not just knowing that content that helps - I can do that reading those prayers at home, right? It's being in a group of people who are passionate about Jesus saying/singing things together. There's nothing like watching an 80-something who can barely stand raise her hands as she sings with a transported look of joy on her face about the truth of God's love. When you get a whole group of people who have been through most trials imaginable and they all are there, showing you how much Jesus matters, it makes you realize Jesus can get you through your trials too.

2) Given that God is in charge and all-knowing, he knows what I need to hear every week. Whether it's some piece of the liturgy that jumps out or the way the dud of a sermon will make me remember a good sermon from the past that I need to remember, even on the bad weeks I always walk away thinking something about God I wouldn't have otherwise. And on the good weeks? On the good weeks I walk away knowing how I need God to transform me and feeling more love for him than ever!

3) There's that time before and after church when you can connect with the congregation - at our church there's coffee and donuts. Seeing friends, going over your week, it's how you build those ties that eventually make you comfortable developing relationships that hold you accountable to living the way you should. Or if you already have those relationships, that 10-20 minutes after church where you chat can be a time to connect without having to set up a lunch date or coffee, or a time to set up a longer time to connect.

4) Tithing matters. There's something that trains the heart about dropping a check/bill in the offering plate on Sunday, that reminds you that your ultimate allegiance is to God. I mean, you could also just give online but little rituals/habits form who we are as people. They help drive our hearts, and what we love is who we are. Supporting God's work helps us love him more, it just does.

5) Singing and saying liturgy, yes even when the piano is out of tune or something, is another habit that helps form heart patterns.

6) Even if the sermon is a dud, someone's still reading the Bible to you. God promises his Word always does his work, and I trust that promise.

I could keep going on and on.

Unfortunately, God is imaginary.

Whoa whoa whoa…. forget St Augustine, St Sebastian, St Bernadette, and the faith led soup kitchens. Call it in boys. DCUMer says it’s all a farce. Dang. Thanks tho