Giving kids a 90’s childhood

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I like it the ton of activities options we currently have.. Things of today like Flag Football, soccer starting for as young a preKers, Boy Scouts for girls, etc were unheard of in the 90s.

And screens are a way of entertainment now days. No different than hours of Mario, Double Dragon, or Madden of the 90s, but now can offer communication too.
My kids FT friends who moved away, nearby friends getting ready together for the HS football game, etc.

Do you not remember the 15ft phone cord on every kitchen phone? The cord was long enough to talk in "privacy" if it reached the hallway until your Dad yelled at you to get off b/c it tied up the internet.
Same concept. Different format.

I dont think that anyone is saying that those things didn't exist in the 90s, they did. But, they are much more prevalent now, parents are afraid to let their kids out and about and be unsupervised so screens and organized activities it is.

[Anonymous]

I had that sort of childhood. One key was living in a neighborhood with sidewalks where the houses are more densely packed. My sister and I would run around for hours looking for kids to play with. We'd just knock on their doors and see who's around. I also could walk to downtown and to the library. For that reason, when we look to buy a house, I'm looking for a similar setup vs a house that's surrounded by woods.

[Anonymous]

We are mostly choosing a simpler life. Very limited TV. No video games. iPad only is a reward to use only Facetime and then only with relatives. Weekly trips to the library as a family. No other kids live on our street, so most time outside school is family time. We are both working mainly in the office, but luckily we also have flexible work schedules, so our kids are not latch-key. DCUM will criticize this, no doubt, but it works for us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are mostly choosing a simpler life. Very limited TV. No video games. iPad only is a reward to use only Facetime and then only with relatives. Weekly trips to the library as a family. No other kids live on our street, so most time outside school is family time. We are both working mainly in the office, but luckily we also have flexible work schedules, so our kids are not latch-key. DCUM will criticize this, no doubt, but it works for us.

Bodies criticizing it at all. But it sounds like your kids are younger. It gets harder to live like this as they get older unless your kids are naturally introverted. At some point you risk depression if they are living a life that is very different from their peers. I feel like stuff is pretty simple with little kids, but with older kids and teens there are often no good answers and life is filled with compromises.

[Anonymous]

I think you millennials have maybe an idealized memory. I’m Gen C and babysit a lot of you in the 80s and 90s and your Boomer Parents basically invented helicopter parenting. Before that women were housewives. But the Boomer generation had all these women who had college degrees and started off with professional careers but the work life balance just wasn’t there, so they invented the concept of “stay at home mom” as a job. Literally no one said that before the 80s/90s. And once that was your job, you had to fill iit — the same with the moms of the greatest and silent generation treated the house as they job and spend endless hours scrubbing and vacuuming and so forth. So the idea that you know think you were all free range on the 90s is somewhat laughable to me. From my perspective, the Gen X parents are much more lax with our kids, partly because more of us stayed in the workforce and have pushed back on the unreasonable expectations that the boomer moms created (including stuff like volunteering in the classroom which again was not a thing before boomer moms invented it).
I don’t want to sound anti boomer—my siblings are all boomers and I love them. But the shift from “housewife” to “stay at home mom” was a real thing that carried with it a real change in parenting styles.

So I don’t see the 90s as some watershed moment. The advent of affordable smart phones, however, was.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you millennials have maybe an idealized memory. I’m Gen C and babysit a lot of you in the 80s and 90s and your Boomer Parents basically invented helicopter parenting. Before that women were housewives. But the Boomer generation had all these women who had college degrees and started off with professional careers but the work life balance just wasn’t there, so they invented the concept of “stay at home mom” as a job. Literally no one said that before the 80s/90s. And once that was your job, you had to fill iit — the same with the moms of the greatest and silent generation treated the house as they job and spend endless hours scrubbing and vacuuming and so forth. So the idea that you know think you were all free range on the 90s is somewhat laughable to me. From my perspective, the Gen X parents are much more lax with our kids, partly because more of us stayed in the workforce and have pushed back on the unreasonable expectations that the boomer moms created (including stuff like volunteering in the classroom which again was not a thing before boomer moms invented it).
I don’t want to sound anti boomer—my siblings are all boomers and I love them. But the shift from “housewife” to “stay at home mom” was a real thing that carried with it a real change in parenting styles.

So I don’t see the 90s as some watershed moment. The advent of affordable smart phones, however, was.

Damn. I'm a millenial and love this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Running around when my parents have no clue where I was, finding beer at the creek, being hit on by creepy men as I rode my bike, molested by my uncle while no adults paid attention to us. No thanks.

+1

Kids still get molested today. That hasn’t gone away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you millennials have maybe an idealized memory. I’m Gen C and babysit a lot of you in the 80s and 90s and your Boomer Parents basically invented helicopter parenting. Before that women were housewives. But the Boomer generation had all these women who had college degrees and started off with professional careers but the work life balance just wasn’t there, so they invented the concept of “stay at home mom” as a job. Literally no one said that before the 80s/90s. And once that was your job, you had to fill iit — the same with the moms of the greatest and silent generation treated the house as they job and spend endless hours scrubbing and vacuuming and so forth. So the idea that you know think you were all free range on the 90s is somewhat laughable to me. From my perspective, the Gen X parents are much more lax with our kids, partly because more of us stayed in the workforce and have pushed back on the unreasonable expectations that the boomer moms created (including stuff like volunteering in the classroom which again was not a thing before boomer moms invented it).
I don’t want to sound anti boomer—my siblings are all boomers and I love them. But the shift from “housewife” to “stay at home mom” was a real thing that carried with it a real change in parenting styles.

So I don’t see the 90s as some watershed moment. The advent of affordable smart phones, however, was.

I do think helicopter parenting may have been a bit on the rise, but I don't think that it was the norm. Also, i know ppl say stay at home moms were a big part of kids having freedom, and thats true, but it was also parents knowing and trusting more ppl. I never had a stay at home mom, but we had other family members, friends, neighbors so that we could still have more of a free range childhood.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So what’s stopping you op? And how old your kids are? How do you envision 90’s childhood for your kids? No electronics? 1 hour per week? Outdoor time? Also, why 90s? Cause that when you were a child? Did you grow up in DC in the 1990s or somewhere else? Could it be that what you refer as childhood in 1990s could actually be childhood in a different location?

Not the op, but the 90s were the last time kids got to have more of a free childhood. Maybe into the very early 2000s, but after that fear and paranoia took over. Kids aren't allowed out unsupervised anymore or have free time. Screens are way more prevalent and so are organized activities. Yes, we had those things in the 90s, but imo, kids had a way better balance.

That's just not accurate - the 80s and 90s were the time of stranger danger and x-raying halloween candy and all sorts of related hovering. I was not allowed to walk 3 blocks home alone.
This was also the period when kids supposedly got participation trophies for everything - which couldn't have happened if they weren't in scheduled activities.

Pick whatever you want for your kid - less screentime, more outdoors - but stop pretending there was some mythical past when childhood was simple and perfect. That didn't exist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:90s had tv and video games, sports and all that.

+1. It wasn’t as strict as today but kids were still busy with school activities and sports and not just roaming the streets with their bikes

I started high school in 1991. I don’t know anyone in middle school who did sports. We were city kids. We roamed around and watched endless MTV. Made mixed cassette tapes, called the radio station for concert tickets, took the subway everywhere. We had all sorts of adventures. Our parents worked. It was a good time. I don’t think you can possibility replicate that era.

My own kids are actually having good childhooods. I live elsewhere now, and I think they’re living the dream. The only downside is screens.

How are your kids’ childhood like? Are they roaming their neighborhood with other kids and going on adventures too?

They’re teens now, and yes, having adventures but in cars. We are near a beach and they have quite a bit of freedom. There isn’t as much community and it’s a different era, but the point is to make the most your era and live fully.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We were latch key kids. We watched a boatload of TV.

+1. Disney afternoon and reruns of Saved By the Bell! Later on it was soap operas. Summer days were long before I could work. An empty house and no transportation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had that sort of childhood. One key was living in a neighborhood with sidewalks where the houses are more densely packed. My sister and I would run around for hours looking for kids to play with. We'd just knock on their doors and see who's around. I also could walk to downtown and to the library. For that reason, when we look to buy a house, I'm looking for a similar setup vs a house that's surrounded by woods.

You won’t find it. If it’s a “good” neighborhood in a good school district, that is mostly UMC, the kids will all be in activities all the time, regardless of house proximity. If you look for a middle or lower class, kids won’t be at as many activities, but they will still be on screens most of the time and no one will be home to tell them otherwise

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are mostly choosing a simpler life. Very limited TV. No video games. iPad only is a reward to use only Facetime and then only with relatives. Weekly trips to the library as a family. No other kids live on our street, so most time outside school is family time. We are both working mainly in the office, but luckily we also have flexible work schedules, so our kids are not latch-key. DCUM will criticize this, no doubt, but it works for us.

Bodies criticizing it at all. But it sounds like your kids are younger. It gets harder to live like this as they get older unless your kids are naturally introverted. At some point you risk depression if they are living a life that is very different from their peers. I feel like stuff is pretty simple with little kids, but with older kids and teens there are often no good answers and life is filled with compromises.

100%

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had that sort of childhood. One key was living in a neighborhood with sidewalks where the houses are more densely packed. My sister and I would run around for hours looking for kids to play with. We'd just knock on their doors and see who's around. I also could walk to downtown and to the library. For that reason, when we look to buy a house, I'm looking for a similar setup vs a house that's surrounded by woods.

You won’t find it. If it’s a “good” neighborhood in a good school district, that is mostly UMC, the kids will all be in activities all the time, regardless of house proximity. If you look for a middle or lower class, kids won’t be at as many activities, but they will still be on screens most of the time and no one will be home to tell them otherwise

This, sadly was our experience. We had a good amount of SAHMs through early elementary and there was a decent amount of spontaneous playing outside. But once kids started going to activities nearly every day of the week that all stopped.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So what’s stopping you op? And how old your kids are? How do you envision 90’s childhood for your kids? No electronics? 1 hour per week? Outdoor time? Also, why 90s? Cause that when you were a child? Did you grow up in DC in the 1990s or somewhere else? Could it be that what you refer as childhood in 1990s could actually be childhood in a different location?

Not the op, but the 90s were the last time kids got to have more of a free childhood. Maybe into the very early 2000s, but after that fear and paranoia took over. Kids aren't allowed out unsupervised anymore or have free time. Screens are way more prevalent and so are organized activities. Yes, we had those things in the 90s, but imo, kids had a way better balance.

That's just not accurate - the 80s and 90s were the time of stranger danger and x-raying halloween candy and all sorts of related hovering. I was not allowed to walk 3 blocks home alone.
This was also the period when kids supposedly got participation trophies for everything - which couldn't have happened if they weren't in scheduled activities.

Pick whatever you want for your kid - less screentime, more outdoors - but stop pretending there was some mythical past when childhood was simple and perfect. That didn't exist.

I don't think that anyone has said that childhood or life for that matter is or has been perfect. But, I agree with op, myself and my circle grew up in the 90s, and we had a great childhood with lots of freedom. Yes, there were screens and organized activities, but it didn't seem to rule childhood like it does today. Yes, I also saw more helicopter parenting, but again it was npt the majority. Side note, I honestly see nothing wrong with participation trophies. Maybe this wasn't your experience and your upbringing, but it was to some of us.