Giving kids a 90’s childhood

[Anonymous]

I also had working parents, limited supervision and tons of tv and junk food. Summers were long and boring.

I do think the internet was a net negative for society, but not sure what one person can do about that. I’m not living off the grid.

[Anonymous]

We moved to Maine. It has made a huge difference.

[Anonymous]

My kids were out roaming the neighborhood and beyond tonight, as usual, as I worried about them.

I guess they are living the 90s childhood?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hate what childhood has become today with all the endless time on electronics, lack of independence and constant activities and sports. I’d love to give my kids a more fun, carefree, 90’s style childhood that I grew up with. Anyone feel similarly and what are you doing to make it happen?

I grew up in the 80's and 90's and was half wildly independent and half helicoptered to death, had constant activities, and there was absolutely nothing carefree about my childhood. So I had a long list of chores that had to be done to perfection but couldn't leave any room in the house without being asked where I was going and could never have friends over or go to friends' houses. But I was enrolled in every after-school activity that existed and loved it.

Give your kids whatever childhood you want - they'll complain about it later anyway.

[Anonymous]

Getting hit by a car in front of the school, sustaining a brain bleed, and the Headmaster telling my parents it might have been my fault anyway?

No thanks, OP.

When my kids were in elementary, they spent a lot of time running outside with the neighbor kids. We all kept an eye on them.
In middle school, that changed because they all made their own friends at their respective schools, spent more time on screens, and academics and extra-curriculars got more serious. But I don't bedgrudge that. Screentime can be very educational. Don't hate the device, monitor content instead.

Now one is in college and the other is in high school. They've had a pretty good life so far. I do not miss any decade of the 20th century when it comes to raising children.

[Anonymous]

Move to Montana. Kids are biking all summer long.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Running around when my parents have no clue where I was, finding beer at the creek, being hit on by creepy men as I rode my bike, molested by my uncle while no adults paid attention to us. No thanks.

Yes we did have Atari and Nintendo but they were on the main tv and it wasn’t even an option to play all day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids were out roaming the neighborhood and beyond tonight, as usual, as I worried about them.

I guess they are living the 90s childhood?

Yes and some Karen posted them on ring.

[Anonymous]

I don't know how old your kids are, but this is what we did. Our kids are 2 years apart in age, so if there weren't other kids around, they played together:

PreK:
- Almost no screen time (maybe a movie a month)
- Lots of art supplies, imaginative toys like play kitchens, toy animals/dinosaurs, dollhouse
- Max one structured activity per kid per week

Elementary:
- Limited screen time (a movie once or twice a month, no more than 30 minutes of iPad on weekends)
- Max one structured activity per kid per week

Middle school:
- Covid increased screen time to multiple times a week, with family, and eliminated many structured activities
- Phones in 6th grade, no social media

High school:
- Free reign on screen time and school-based activities
- One social media platform no earlier than second semester of 9th grade

I talked to the younger one, now a HS junior, towards the end of the summer. She said that sometimes as a kid she missed not knowing the shows the other kids were talking about, but now she thinks that compared to her friends this made her more creative, gave her a longer attention span and the ability to amuse herself, and increased her media literacy.

FWIW, I grew up in the 80s and my parents limited our TV and we were weird even then.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I moved to a super kid-friendly very mixed socioeconomic neighborhood where all the houses are extremely similar townhouses. Kids are outside all the time biking and walking to each others houses.

This helps a lot!

We had a close community. Most people were members of a nearby pool and gathered there with kids, so they had a lot of outdoor time with friends from school.

I read that the people who invent all this horrible tech have their own kids living lives off of tech and social media while they work to addict the rest of the world. So, good on you, OP, for wanting something different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Limit screens, and have them go outside to play with friends more. Let them walk to the library, the store, whatever is walkable, on their own. Give more freedom/try not to say no as often as you do now. Allow sleep away camp - best independence and confidence builder ever

While you might be limiting screens, I would not frame it that way. Frame the situation as increasing fun time outside with friends so they focus on what they get. Once kids are enjoying biking, exploring the outdoors, playing kickball or soccer or whatever, they see that as enjoyable and do not miss the screens.

I'm not saying that you are framing it that way. Just sharing an idea for anyone who might need to persuade screen-focused kids to do something different.

It also helps to send them to summer camps that are outside without screens available. I saw a great one while traveling through NY state. The kids were outside at a wildlife sanctuary and exploring the outdoors, building forts with sticks, and generally having a blast.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hate what childhood has become today with all the endless time on electronics, lack of independence and constant activities and sports. I’d love to give my kids a more fun, carefree, 90’s style childhood that I grew up with. Anyone feel similarly and what are you doing to make it happen?

Plenty of kids in the 90s were on electronics all day (video games, very scary chat rooms) or overscheduled with constant activities and sports. You can make better choices without nostalgia for a past that didn't really exist.

The best thing for independence and unstructured play is living in a housing-dense area with good public transit and retail/amenities in walking distance. The tradeoff is almost always a smaller house, small or no yard, and more mixed-income schools.

[Anonymous]

Encourage neighborhood play, or if that’s not feasible due to where you live, figure out a community where they will have lots of free time with kids (summer swim that results in hanging out afterwards, a religious community where everyone hangs out, be creative).

Resist travel sports, at least in elementary school.

I don’t know if that qualifies as 90s, but I think the core of the question is creating time that is kid-driven and social.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You cannot go back in time.

No, you can't, but you can do some things to create a childhood similar to this.

Not really. Unless you have a community that values “free-range” parenting, this is pretty impossible. Your kid will be the only one walking to and from school, with unscheduled after-school time, riding their bike around alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:90s had tv and video games, sports and all that.

+1.