Do your teens expect you to cook meals for them over the summer?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel so sorry for all these kids whose parents don’t feed them dinner! OMG.

I feel sorry for all the women who are stuck in traditional roles. I find it shocking among this educated cohort

[Anonymous]

I did cook for my minor children. When they hit 18, though, they can eat what I prepare, if I do. Or what my husband prepares, if he does. I also have several frozen options they can heat up if they prefer. Or they can cook if they don't like anything that's available.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you aren't cooking for your teens, what are you doing for your own dinner? Are you talking about situations where you have dinner plans out?

Otherwise, are you cooking dinner for yourself and not adding a portion for your kids?

No. I don’t cook a big dinner for myself and refuse to give any to my children.

Sometimes I have a big lunch at work, so I’m not hungry for dinner. Or, alternatively, I skip lunch at work, eat snacks when I get home, and am not hungry for dinner. Or I might have carrots and hummus and olives and a chunk of cheese. Or I might heat up some soup or grab a salad from the day before and eat it with a hunk of bread and some fruit.

There are a lot of alternatives to feeding yourself besides making full on meals three times a day.

DP. When I was a teen, my mom ate a big lunch everyday at work and wasn’t very hungry for dinner, so I usually had to fend for myself or deal with a teeny tiny, unsatisfying dinner that suited her needs. One of many factors that led to years of disordered eating. I make sure to nourish my kids and never assume that they’re not hungry just because I’m not.

Eating a big lunch is much healthier

Sitting down and sharing a meal with your family is healthiest, no matter what time of day. And in American culture, that is typically most convenient in the evening hours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel so sorry for all these kids whose parents don’t feed them dinner! OMG.

I feel sorry for all the women who are stuck in traditional roles. I find it shocking among this educated cohort

DP. The PP said “parents,” not “moms.”No one has stated the women have to do all the dinner cooking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel so sorry for all these kids whose parents don’t feed them dinner! OMG.

I feel sorry for all the women who are stuck in traditional roles. I find it shocking among this educated cohort

DP. The PP said “parents,” not “moms.”No one has stated the women have to do all the dinner cooking.

+1

Also, do people not even cook for themselves, pre kids? Or plan not to, once kids are out of the house? As in, they consider it a chore they only do because they have kids?

DH and I have always cooked. We did before we had kids, and will continue after the kids are out of the house. At least most of the time. My parents also still cook dinner long after kids were grown, and so did DH’s (as long as they were able). We consider feeding ourselves to be a very normal thing to do (and we usually enjoy it)- not some type of slavery.

Having kids present just means doubling the portions. It really isn’t any more “work” than we have always done and always will do.

Our teens do the cleanup, and help with the cooking when they are here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel so sorry for all these kids whose parents don’t feed them dinner! OMG.

I feel sorry for all of those teens who have no idea how to feed themselves. My son's college roommates had zero idea how to use an over or the stove. They had a full kitchen but nobody cooked except my son. They'd ask their parents for more food money but then just order food every day. My son taught one of them how to make eggs different ways- scrambled, omelets, fried, etc. He didn't know the names of kitchen tools like a spatula. I'm no gourmet cook but to send your kids out into the world with zero cooking skills (and not pay for a chef for them) is a big problem.

[Anonymous]

Dinner, yes, because we usually have family dinners, and DH makes dinner for us both, so why not DC?

Lunch and breakfast - on their own. DC is 17.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel so sorry for all these kids whose parents don’t feed them dinner! OMG.

I feel sorry for all the women who are stuck in traditional roles. I find it shocking among this educated cohort

Who said it's the women cooking dinners? In some homes, it's the men. Or, the couple cooks together while they catch each other up on their respective days.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel so sorry for all these kids whose parents don’t feed them dinner! OMG.

I feel sorry for all the women who are stuck in traditional roles. I find it shocking among this educated cohort

DP. The PP said “parents,” not “moms.”No one has stated the women have to do all the dinner cooking.

+1

Also, do people not even cook for themselves, pre kids? Or plan not to, once kids are out of the house? As in, they consider it a chore they only do because they have kids?

DH and I have always cooked. We did before we had kids, and will continue after the kids are out of the house. At least most of the time. My parents also still cook dinner long after kids were grown, and so did DH’s (as long as they were able). We consider feeding ourselves to be a very normal thing to do (and we usually enjoy it)- not some type of slavery.

Having kids present just means doubling the portions. It really isn’t any more “work” than we have always done and always will do.

Our teens do the cleanup, and help with the cooking when they are here.

There are plenty of single parents like me who aren't cooking meals once their kids leave the house. It was one huge thing off my plate (no pun intended). 18 years of 3 meals a day is a lot for one person. So when he's at school, I might just eat a sandwich or cereal or nothing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel so sorry for all these kids whose parents don’t feed them dinner! OMG.

I feel sorry for all of those teens who have no idea how to feed themselves. My son's college roommates had zero idea how to use an over or the stove. They had a full kitchen but nobody cooked except my son. They'd ask their parents for more food money but then just order food every day. My son taught one of them how to make eggs different ways- scrambled, omelets, fried, etc. He didn't know the names of kitchen tools like a spatula. I'm no gourmet cook but to send your kids out into the world with zero cooking skills (and not pay for a chef for them) is a big problem.

DP. I cook dinner for my teens most nights, but they also know how to cook a few things. One (the boy) because he loves to cook, and the other (the girl) because I required her to help out occasionally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel so sorry for all these kids whose parents don’t feed them dinner! OMG.

I feel sorry for all the women who are stuck in traditional roles. I find it shocking among this educated cohort

DP. The PP said “parents,” not “moms.”No one has stated the women have to do all the dinner cooking.

+1

Also, do people not even cook for themselves, pre kids? Or plan not to, once kids are out of the house? As in, they consider it a chore they only do because they have kids?

DH and I have always cooked. We did before we had kids, and will continue after the kids are out of the house. At least most of the time. My parents also still cook dinner long after kids were grown, and so did DH’s (as long as they were able). We consider feeding ourselves to be a very normal thing to do (and we usually enjoy it)- not some type of slavery.

Having kids present just means doubling the portions. It really isn’t any more “work” than we have always done and always will do.

Our teens do the cleanup, and help with the cooking when they are here.

I didn’t really cook pre-kids, and I don’t really plan to when they move out. I mean, I did sometimes, but it was a big deal.

My parents don’t really cook anymore either. They eat a lot of pre-prepared salads and things from Costco or Trader Joe’s. Maybe my mom will make a big thing of soup or jambalaya sometimes.

I kind of imagine that DH and I will do something similar.

[Anonymous]

I work full time and cook dinner every night. Family meals are important to me for health and bonding reasons and my mom did the same for us growing up (and also worked). HOWEVER, in the summer especially my pre-teen and teen are expected to set and clear the table (they switch off). One takes out the trash and the other does the recycling. They do other chores as well. My DH always does the dishes.

Figure out what works for you, but do make eating together a priority--many studies support the importance of this.

[Anonymous]

Geez. You sound like a peach, OP. It's every person for themselves in your house. It's a house, not a home. Big difference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you aren't cooking for your teens, what are you doing for your own dinner? Are you talking about situations where you have dinner plans out?

Otherwise, are you cooking dinner for yourself and not adding a portion for your kids?

No. I don’t cook a big dinner for myself and refuse to give any to my children.

Sometimes I have a big lunch at work, so I’m not hungry for dinner. Or, alternatively, I skip lunch at work, eat snacks when I get home, and am not hungry for dinner. Or I might have carrots and hummus and olives and a chunk of cheese. Or I might heat up some soup or grab a salad from the day before and eat it with a hunk of bread and some fruit.

There are a lot of alternatives to feeding yourself besides making full on meals three times a day.

Wow. Well, we eat normal meals in our house and so we eat dinner together every night. I usually cook because I like it, but husband and kids help most nights.

Oh hush. We have regular meals at my house too. I made meatloaf, zucchini parm, corn, and grilled peaches on Monday. Tuesday we has fish tacos with mango salsa and the rest of the corn on the cob. Wednesday I made vegetable soup with homemade bread and salad. Today we will have lemon chicken, grilled tomatoes, and the rest of the bread.

But someone asked if I cook for just me anyway, and the answer is “no.” If it’s just me, I don’t really cook. It’s not like I make big meals for just myself and refuse to share.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They do not expect it, almost would wish I did not, but I do it, because I want to keep teaching them about healthy and *balanced* meals, expose them to foods they are not familiar with, show them how easy it is to nourish themselves, etc. If I left them to their own devices (two daughters, 13 and 17), each meal would be mac and cheese, frozen individual pizzas, or cereal. Maaaaybe they would eat a few baby carrots, or an apple, or a banana, or a peach at each meal to call it “healthy.” 😞

This. I cook a hot breakfast most days, and dinner every night. But they fend for themselves for lunch and it pretty much is as described above. Or sometimes dinner leftovers. Basically they eat whatever is the least amount of work for them to prepare.