Childless women should get maternity leave

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Believe me when the men hit their 40s and 50s they make it up in kidney stones, gallbladder surgeries, and heart attacks. And for the healthy ones they knee and hip replacements.


This country is too busy to enjoy a home cooked meal. We had a nice dad here posting about a month ago, poor guy has a tough job and kids sports he was eating junk food for decades. And you wonder why people have kidney stones and joint problems.
Anonymous
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Anonymous wrote:Peri needs are just as legitimate but should be within a broader mental health category. I actually took a permanent step back at work bc of peri since my work has no good options for my situation and no possibility of a real long vacation.


They are not, and you know it.


Right, that’s what I am saying…


NP. Under what authority do you proclaim your expertise about perimenopause and its possible affects on health and wellbeing or lack thereof?


I don’t think anyone needs to explain to you that “peri” is not the same as childbirth and caring for a newborn.



Childcare is hard but the physical movement, standing up, carrying child are good for you. No one has gotten high LDL or blood sugar from running after kids. But sedatory office workers die from heart attack all the time.


So do some exercise and eat better.

and sure, tell those working moms of infants how good it is for them 😂


Hey this is not the suffering Olympics. You don’t need to minimize what someone else is going through just to be an ass.

Childbirth, recovery and caring for infants is exhausting, but it is of a limited duration of time.

Perimenopause can last years and be awful. For some people it’s a breeze, for others it is horrific. Spending hours each day commuting and sitting at a desk has a cumulative negative impact on health that is very serious if unaddressed.

After RTO I am out of the house about 12 hours a day. I need 9 hours of sleep to function well. That leaves me with 3 hours a day to do absolutely everything else including the care of my children. I do my best to eat well but where am I supposed to get in a workout? Throw in peri/menopause. I am white but now I see firsthand why so many WOC die young of strokes and such. RTO is sending us back 50 years.


Did “peri” affect your reading comprehension?

PP was trying to directly compare “peri” and childbirth, presumably to suggest that women should get “peri” leave because it’s just as hard as having a baby.


Having a kit is more “acute” meaning you will deal with discomfort for 2-3 years. Peri can last 10 years +

Wanting to raising young infant and wanting to manage peri are both healthy, and not a vs competition.


These aren’t the same things at all.
Anonymous
[twitter]
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Peri needs are just as legitimate but should be within a broader mental health category. I actually took a permanent step back at work bc of peri since my work has no good options for my situation and no possibility of a real long vacation.


They are not, and you know it.


Right, that’s what I am saying…


NP. Under what authority do you proclaim your expertise about perimenopause and its possible affects on health and wellbeing or lack thereof?


I don’t think anyone needs to explain to you that “peri” is not the same as childbirth and caring for a newborn.



Childcare is hard but the physical movement, standing up, carrying child are good for you. No one has gotten high LDL or blood sugar from running after kids. But sedatory office workers die from heart attack all the time.


What? Women die from pregnancy and childbirth all the time. Many more have lasting health issues as a result.

I had preeclampsia with severe features, which left me with apparently permanent elevated blood pressure. And before you come at me, I’m not overweight, I eat a healthy diet, and I exercise 3-4 times a week. I didn’t use ART to conceive and I wasn’t AMA.


Maybe you can eat a bit more healthy fats to help brain power up reading comprehension. I said child care, not child birth.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
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Anonymous wrote:
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Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Peri needs are just as legitimate but should be within a broader mental health category. I actually took a permanent step back at work bc of peri since my work has no good options for my situation and no possibility of a real long vacation.


They are not, and you know it.


Right, that’s what I am saying…


NP. Under what authority do you proclaim your expertise about perimenopause and its possible affects on health and wellbeing or lack thereof?


I don’t think anyone needs to explain to you that “peri” is not the same as childbirth and caring for a newborn.



Childcare is hard but the physical movement, standing up, carrying child are good for you. No one has gotten high LDL or blood sugar from running after kids. But sedatory office workers die from heart attack all the time.


So do some exercise and eat better.

and sure, tell those working moms of infants how good it is for them 😂


Hey this is not the suffering Olympics. You don’t need to minimize what someone else is going through just to be an ass.

Childbirth, recovery and caring for infants is exhausting, but it is of a limited duration of time.

Perimenopause can last years and be awful. For some people it’s a breeze, for others it is horrific. Spending hours each day commuting and sitting at a desk has a cumulative negative impact on health that is very serious if unaddressed.

After RTO I am out of the house about 12 hours a day. I need 9 hours of sleep to function well. That leaves me with 3 hours a day to do absolutely everything else including the care of my children. I do my best to eat well but where am I supposed to get in a workout? Throw in peri/menopause. I am white but now I see firsthand why so many WOC die young of strokes and such. RTO is sending us back 50 years.


Did “peri” affect your reading comprehension?

PP was trying to directly compare “peri” and childbirth, presumably to suggest that women should get “peri” leave because it’s just as hard as having a baby.


Having a kit is more “acute” meaning you will deal with discomfort for 2-3 years. Peri can last 10 years +

Wanting to raising young infant and wanting to manage peri are both healthy, and not a vs competition.


Um... you know mothers get perimenopause too, right? And so can actually compare the two? The idea that you have to explain perimenopause to mothers is... something.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Peri needs are just as legitimate but should be within a broader mental health category. I actually took a permanent step back at work bc of peri since my work has no good options for my situation and no possibility of a real long vacation.


They are not, and you know it.


Are you talking about peri menopause? Aka 2nd puberty? We expect our kids to go to school, learn huge amounts of information, play travel sports, take high stakes tests, do chores, etc. during puberty. You can do your desk job.
- a 48yr old mom of kids under 10 and caretaker of her elderly parents
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Peri needs are just as legitimate but should be within a broader mental health category. I actually took a permanent step back at work bc of peri since my work has no good options for my situation and no possibility of a real long vacation.


They are not, and you know it.


Right, that’s what I am saying…


NP. Under what authority do you proclaim your expertise about perimenopause and its possible affects on health and wellbeing or lack thereof?


I don’t think anyone needs to explain to you that “peri” is not the same as childbirth and caring for a newborn.



Childcare is hard but the physical movement, standing up, carrying child are good for you. No one has gotten high LDL or blood sugar from running after kids. But sedatory office workers die from heart attack all the time.


So do some exercise and eat better.

and sure, tell those working moms of infants how good it is for them 😂


Rest of the world have exercise baked into their day: carry grocery, waking child to school, taking stroll to gossip.

Here in the states, we gotta pay some overweight CEO of gym chain to exercise in a dirty dingy building. Ewww
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Peri needs are just as legitimate but should be within a broader mental health category. I actually took a permanent step back at work bc of peri since my work has no good options for my situation and no possibility of a real long vacation.


They are not, and you know it.


Right, that’s what I am saying…


NP. Under what authority do you proclaim your expertise about perimenopause and its possible affects on health and wellbeing or lack thereof?


I don’t think anyone needs to explain to you that “peri” is not the same as childbirth and caring for a newborn.



Childcare is hard but the physical movement, standing up, carrying child are good for you. No one has gotten high LDL or blood sugar from running after kids. But sedatory office workers die from heart attack all the time.


So do some exercise and eat better.

and sure, tell those working moms of infants how good it is for them 😂


Hey this is not the suffering Olympics. You don’t need to minimize what someone else is going through just to be an ass.

Childbirth, recovery and caring for infants is exhausting, but it is of a limited duration of time.

Perimenopause can last years and be awful. For some people it’s a breeze, for others it is horrific. Spending hours each day commuting and sitting at a desk has a cumulative negative impact on health that is very serious if unaddressed.

After RTO I am out of the house about 12 hours a day. I need 9 hours of sleep to function well. That leaves me with 3 hours a day to do absolutely everything else including the care of my children. I do my best to eat well but where am I supposed to get in a workout? Throw in peri/menopause. I am white but now I see firsthand why so many WOC die young of strokes and such. RTO is sending us back 50 years.


Did “peri” affect your reading comprehension?

PP was trying to directly compare “peri” and childbirth, presumably to suggest that women should get “peri” leave because it’s just as hard as having a baby.


Having a kit is more “acute” meaning you will deal with discomfort for 2-3 years. Peri can last 10 years +

Wanting to raising young infant and wanting to manage peri are both healthy, and not a vs competition.


Um... you know mothers get perimenopause too, right? And so can actually compare the two? The idea that you have to explain perimenopause to mothers is... something.


I literally just said these 2 are not comparable 😆 are you ok?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:My question would be why are the women taking on the “mental load and emotional labor” in an office? What even is that?

In the home I get it, I’m a wife and mother and take that on, because it’s my *family*. People I love. But in the office, while it can definitely be stressful at times for me, what I’m doing and the amount of work isn’t any different from my male colleagues. Are the women just letting the stress get to them more? Are they unnecessarily getting emotional about duties or coworkers?

Wouldn’t your 90 days off lead you to coming back to the same situation?


Yes. Yes it will. When I was going out on maternity leave the 1st time and prepping my transition plan a colleague told me “you think they will solve all these problems and wrap up all these projects while you are out, but 8/10/12/16 weeks and you come back and they are still taking about and spinning wheels on the same things as when you left.”

If you are really burned out, you need to negotiate a leave of absence or find a new job. But if you do a LOA or a sabbatical, take it from my maternity leave experience that you will come back to the same issues and team dynamics you left. A leave is to heal You - your body, your mind. If you want your work culture or dynamics to change, you need to get a new job.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My question would be why are the women taking on the “mental load and emotional labor” in an office? What even is that?

In the home I get it, I’m a wife and mother and take that on, because it’s my *family*. People I love. But in the office, while it can definitely be stressful at times for me, what I’m doing and the amount of work isn’t any different from my male colleagues. Are the women just letting the stress get to them more? Are they unnecessarily getting emotional about duties or coworkers?

Wouldn’t your 90 days off lead you to coming back to the same situation?


Depends on the company, this bank I worked at often ask women analysts to host happy hours and coordinate volunteer events. Men just need to present data findings for the same “visibility”.



It’s good you don’t work at that bank anymore. It sounds like a toxic culture…and about a decade (or more) ago.

Create healthy boundaries with work. If you work in a toxic culture and creating boundaries actually jeopardizes your job, consider finding a new job.
Anonymous
Maternity leave is not a vacation OP.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Compared to my male co-workers, the women in my office carry most of the mental load and do all of the emotional labor. This increased stress recently caused me to snap at the office and I started crying in front of some of my direct reports. I don't have children but could really use a 90 day break to fully refresh. I think all women should get something similar to maternity leave, even if they don't have kids. How can I go about making this a policy in my office ?


Take FMLA. Maternity leave is a combination of medical leave and bonding leave. If you have a medical issue, take time to address it.
Anonymous
No. Maternity leave is for those who are caring for children and recovering from childbirth.

If you need a mental health sabbatical, you are free to use the other benefits offered by your employer.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Peri needs are just as legitimate but should be within a broader mental health category. I actually took a permanent step back at work bc of peri since my work has no good options for my situation and no possibility of a real long vacation.


They are not, and you know it.


Are you talking about peri menopause? Aka 2nd puberty? We expect our kids to go to school, learn huge amounts of information, play travel sports, take high stakes tests, do chores, etc. during puberty. You can do your desk job.
- a 48yr old mom of kids under 10 and caretaker of her elderly parents


DP. Yes, we expect that of our adolescents, but everything isn’t fine. Record numbers of kids and teens are suffering from anxiety, depression, and related illnesses.

It is no coincidence that many, if not most are living in a way that is in complete opposition to healthy circadian rhythms, healthy diet, relationships, expectations, and activity.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Agree that everyone should get some time off of work, but don’t make the mistake of thinking maternity leave is a vacation or a refresh. It’s grueling work. I came back from maternity leave more stressed than when I left. Agree with the one of the posters above that you should utilize your vacation as much as you can, or take sabbatical if your company offers it.


Right?? I looked forward to returning to work just so I could get a break.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Peri needs are just as legitimate but should be within a broader mental health category. I actually took a permanent step back at work bc of peri since my work has no good options for my situation and no possibility of a real long vacation.


They are not, and you know it.


Are you talking about peri menopause? Aka 2nd puberty? We expect our kids to go to school, learn huge amounts of information, play travel sports, take high stakes tests, do chores, etc. during puberty. You can do your desk job.
- a 48yr old mom of kids under 10 and caretaker of her elderly parents


DP. Yes, we expect that of our adolescents, but everything isn’t fine. Record numbers of kids and teens are suffering from anxiety, depression, and related illnesses.

It is no coincidence that many, if not most are living in a way that is in complete opposition to healthy circadian rhythms, healthy diet, relationships, expectations, and activity.


FFS are you expecting them to check out of life for the duration of puberty? I think you're a troll at this point.
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