Destination weddings - why?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Agree. Why not just have a simple local ceremony, and then go on a honeymoon?
Destination weddings are selfish and overcomplicated, and scream of entitlement.

OP here. This is what I was thinking. Go on the honeymoon to this location, not make everyone go.

I also wanted a destination wedding for all of five minutes. My parents, my in laws and DH all said it would be too difficult for guests to get to and shut it down. We did go on a beautiful honeymoon.

Well, why did YOU want a destination wedding for those 5 minutes? That's why people have them. That you set aside what you wanted because other people found it inconvenient doesn't mean that this couple needs to do that too.

No one is "making" you go. You are always free to decline an invitation that you cannot accept for logistical reasons.

The couple getting married gets to have their priorities about their wedding. If they prioritize getting married in Aruba over your specific attendance, based on your contributions to this thread, it sounds like they will have a better time with that decision than you did, despite your "beautiful" honeymoon.

Be less bitter, shrew.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We did a destination wedding in key west because we wanted it to be smaller.
We blocked rooms and invited about 100 people; expecting less than 50 but blocked enough rooms for everyone.

It totally backfired when Jimmy Buffet announced he was doing a concert at our hotel a few months later.
Because we already had the rooms blocked everyone we invited came but like 5.

We spent way more than planned but everyone talks about it to this day.

Such a cool story.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Agree. Why not just have a simple local ceremony, and then go on a honeymoon?
Destination weddings are selfish and overcomplicated, and scream of entitlement.

OP here. This is what I was thinking. Go on the honeymoon to this location, not make everyone go.

I also wanted a destination wedding for all of five minutes. My parents, my in laws and DH all said it would be too difficult for guests to get to and shut it down. We did go on a beautiful honeymoon.

You are not required to attend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's much less expensive to host a wedding in Mexico than in the US major city we live in. We were able to include elements we wanted that we otherwise wouldn't have been able to have.

Weddings, especially in major cities, have reached astronomical prices. A lot of people are having small weddings or going overseas to the Caribbean or Mexico where it is significantly cheaper.

Cheaper for the couple lol. That’s the issue. If your plan is to make it cheaper for yourself and more expensive and time consuming for your guests then don’t be surprised when most decline and the ones who have to be there (like siblings) are salty about it.

You sound fun.

Honey nobody wants to take 3 days off work and pay $5k to attend your Cancun wedding. It is not fun.

Auntie, nobody wants you to attend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's much less expensive to host a wedding in Mexico than in the US major city we live in. We were able to include elements we wanted that we otherwise wouldn't have been able to have.

Weddings, especially in major cities, have reached astronomical prices. A lot of people are having small weddings or going overseas to the Caribbean or Mexico where it is significantly cheaper.

Cheaper for the couple lol. That’s the issue. If your plan is to make it cheaper for yourself and more expensive and time consuming for your guests then don’t be surprised when most decline and the ones who have to be there (like siblings) are salty about it.

You sound fun.

Honey nobody wants to take 3 days off work and pay $5k to attend your Cancun wedding. It is not fun.

Auntie, nobody wants you to attend.

Op here. I would not mind an Aruba wedding. That is a direct short flight and no additional travel required. This wedding will be a 8+ hour flight plus 2-3 hour drive. That is hard for a weekend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's much less expensive to host a wedding in Mexico than in the US major city we live in. We were able to include elements we wanted that we otherwise wouldn't have been able to have.

Much less expensive for you. Considerably more expensive for your guests.

[Anonymous]

I’ll give an alternate perspective…

Most families are so spread out these days that most weddings are “destination weddings” in some sense, for many of the attendees.

We’ve spent so much time and $ flying to the Midwest (where many of our family members and old friends live, various cities) for weddings (and are generally happy to do so). Though sometimes we do decline.

I’d actually rather make a vacation out of some of these, if people want to get married in Aruba or wherever. Better than the suburban Midwest- again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's much less expensive to host a wedding in Mexico than in the US major city we live in. We were able to include elements we wanted that we otherwise wouldn't have been able to have.

Weddings, especially in major cities, have reached astronomical prices. A lot of people are having small weddings or going overseas to the Caribbean or Mexico where it is significantly cheaper.

Cheaper for the couple lol. That’s the issue. If your plan is to make it cheaper for yourself and more expensive and time consuming for your guests then don’t be surprised when most decline and the ones who have to be there (like siblings) are salty about it.

It’s literally the one day of their lives when it’s about THEM not you. You’re free not to show up.

Actually, that is not at all true, unless they are getting married at City Hall without any people attending. If you invite guests to your wedding, your priority should be making them comfortable. You are the host, just as you are at any other event, and have the attendant responsibilities of a host.

[Anonymous]

We got married in my partners hometown because his parents would have been unable to travel to our home city. It meant that everyone else had to travel to the wedding, but that also kept it smaller and less expensive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Agree. Why not just have a simple local ceremony, and then go on a honeymoon?
Destination weddings are selfish and overcomplicated, and scream of entitlement.

OP here. This is what I was thinking. Go on the honeymoon to this location, not make everyone go.

I also wanted a destination wedding for all of five minutes. My parents, my in laws and DH all said it would be too difficult for guests to get to and shut it down. We did go on a beautiful honeymoon.

Well, why did YOU want a destination wedding for those 5 minutes? That's why people have them. That you set aside what you wanted because other people found it inconvenient doesn't mean that this couple needs to do that too.

No one is "making" you go. You are always free to decline an invitation that you cannot accept for logistical reasons.

The couple getting married gets to have their priorities about their wedding. If they prioritize getting married in Aruba over your specific attendance, based on your contributions to this thread, it sounds like they will have a better time with that decision than you did, despite your "beautiful" honeymoon.

Be less bitter, shrew.

I already said we would go. We will likely be the only family going.

I’m not sure how this makes me bitter.

I had a fantastic wedding with our friends and family all present.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's much less expensive to host a wedding in Mexico than in the US major city we live in. We were able to include elements we wanted that we otherwise wouldn't have been able to have.

Weddings, especially in major cities, have reached astronomical prices. A lot of people are having small weddings or going overseas to the Caribbean or Mexico where it is significantly cheaper.

Cheaper for the couple lol. That’s the issue. If your plan is to make it cheaper for yourself and more expensive and time consuming for your guests then don’t be surprised when most decline and the ones who have to be there (like siblings) are salty about it.

You sound fun.

Honey nobody wants to take 3 days off work and pay $5k to attend your Cancun wedding. It is not fun.

Auntie, nobody wants you to attend.

This 😆

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your BROTHER doesn’t care enough to have it domestically, OP, so stop blaming his fiancee. Even if she wants it, he’s still going along with it.

If I had told my DH we were going to have a destination wedding and not care if family showed up, he would have said, uh NOPE. And he is as mild-mannered as they come.

It’s so tiresome for you to be blaming a woman instead of your brother. He has a brain and a voice. If he cared about your family being there, you’d know it. But he doesn’t. He’s Just Not That Into You.

The groom is my BIL, DH’s brother, not my brother.

We will go. We may be the only family who goes.

OK? Who cares? Great thread.

My question was on the OP. Do you expect people not to attend by having a destination wedding?

We have a small family and bride has a large family. I would think BIL would want his whole family there, but maybe he doesn’t care.

He very clearly DOESN’T CARE. Move on with your day!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Agree. Why not just have a simple local ceremony, and then go on a honeymoon?
Destination weddings are selfish and overcomplicated, and scream of entitlement.

OP here. This is what I was thinking. Go on the honeymoon to this location, not make everyone go.

I also wanted a destination wedding for all of five minutes. My parents, my in laws and DH all said it would be too difficult for guests to get to and shut it down. We did go on a beautiful honeymoon.

Well, why did YOU want a destination wedding for those 5 minutes? That's why people have them. That you set aside what you wanted because other people found it inconvenient doesn't mean that this couple needs to do that too.

No one is "making" you go. You are always free to decline an invitation that you cannot accept for logistical reasons.

The couple getting married gets to have their priorities about their wedding. If they prioritize getting married in Aruba over your specific attendance, based on your contributions to this thread, it sounds like they will have a better time with that decision than you did, despite your "beautiful" honeymoon.

Be less bitter, shrew.

I already said we would go. We will likely be the only family going.

I’m not sure how this makes me bitter.

I had a fantastic wedding with our friends and family all present.

You are the ONLY family of his that will be attending?

I mean….in that case, the destination wedding may have been the right call for them. They are only inconveniencing one family (yours) versus her side which is larger- and who apparently are planning to attend.

[Anonymous]

I’m deeply sympathetic to families where there is a grandparent, parent, or sibling of the bride and groom who is genuinely unable to travel to attend a wedding- due to health issues, extreme financial hardship, etc. In those cases, it is really hard to justify this type of wedding IMHO- assuming a good relationship with the above people. And seems quite selfish.

On the other hand, I think immediate family members who dig in their heels (absolutely will not attend) based on principle (rather than being truly unable) are being needlessly difficult. It may not be ideal, but it is a sibling’s wedding and you should go and suck it up.

Extended relatives and friends….are not really the focus if you are having a destination wedding. To me, the invitations in that case are “we’d love for you to join us, but understand most won’t”. And indeed, we don’t usually attend. Which is fine with me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's much less expensive to host a wedding in Mexico than in the US major city we live in. We were able to include elements we wanted that we otherwise wouldn't have been able to have.

Weddings, especially in major cities, have reached astronomical prices. A lot of people are having small weddings or going overseas to the Caribbean or Mexico where it is significantly cheaper.

Cheaper for the couple lol. That’s the issue. If your plan is to make it cheaper for yourself and more expensive and time consuming for your guests then don’t be surprised when most decline and the ones who have to be there (like siblings) are salty about it.

You sound fun.

Honey nobody wants to take 3 days off work and pay $5k to attend your Cancun wedding. It is not fun.

Auntie, nobody wants you to attend.

This 😆

So why send fake invitations?