Destination weddings - why?

[Anonymous]

My future sister in law wants a destination wedding. This is extremely inconvenient and not wanted from the groom’s side. Her family and friends are younger. We have kids in high school who have their own obligations. We will make it work. I’m pretty certain no one from our family will fly to this destination to then drive another few hours for a wedding.

Is the destination more important than the guests?

Is it expected that many guests will decline?

[Anonymous]

Because they don't really care if those guests attend or not. And it's not on your SIL. The bottom line is if they go through with it, it's not important enough to your BROTHER that his side of the family doesn't come. Don't be one of those nightmare families that thinks their relative is blameless in these situations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because they don't really care if those guests attend or not. And it's not on your SIL. The bottom line is if they go through with it, it's not important enough to your BROTHER that his side of the family doesn't come. Don't be one of those nightmare families that thinks their relative is blameless in these situations.

+1

[Anonymous]

A destination wedding is carte blanche not to attend. Certainly you don’t haul your HS aged kids there. Probably you make the effort to go yourself but that’s it. I skipped a family wedding in Asia (not destination but where bride’s family was) and felt zero guilt. I also totally understood why the bride chose to marry there and didn’t resent it.

[Anonymous]

Those are a no from me and I think that's why they do it less people yet they feel obligated to invite.

[Anonymous]

Does the bride want to go to her hometown in a different state? Or is this going to a beautiful island somewhere?

[Anonymous]

We did a destination wedding in key west because we wanted it to be smaller.
We blocked rooms and invited about 100 people; expecting less than 50 but blocked enough rooms for everyone.

It totally backfired when Jimmy Buffet announced he was doing a concert at our hotel a few months later.
Because we already had the rooms blocked everyone we invited came but like 5.

We spent way more than planned but everyone talks about it to this day.

[Anonymous]

It's a win-win for the couple, esp if they'd prefer a small, intimate wedding:

Fewer attendees means they are shelling out less for the event: You don't attend AND write a check, so they aren't spending for you to eat and drink, and get the gift

[Anonymous]

It's much less expensive to host a wedding in Mexico than in the US major city we live in. We were able to include elements we wanted that we otherwise wouldn't have been able to have.

[Anonymous]

None of our friends lived in DC when we got married except one couple. We got married here but it was as inconvenient as a destination wedding would have been. Many couples in that situation would choose a beach resort, and their guests would probably be happy too.

[Anonymous]

I don't like your tone op. I can already tell you're going to be the sister in law from hell. Don't bother inconveniencing yourself by making it worth I'm sure your brother and his intended will be thrilled if you can't make it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:None of our friends lived in DC when we got married except one couple. We got married here but it was as inconvenient as a destination wedding would have been. Many couples in that situation would choose a beach resort, and their guests would probably be happy too.

It’s much easier and cheaper to fly into DC and stay 1-2 nights than a beach resort.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't like your tone op. I can already tell you're going to be the sister in law from hell. Don't bother inconveniencing yourself by making it worth I'm sure your brother and his intended will be thrilled if you can't make it.

Agree. Especially SIL.LOL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's much less expensive to host a wedding in Mexico than in the US major city we live in. We were able to include elements we wanted that we otherwise wouldn't have been able to have.

Weddings, especially in major cities, have reached astronomical prices. A lot of people are having small weddings or going overseas to the Caribbean or Mexico where it is significantly cheaper.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's much less expensive to host a wedding in Mexico than in the US major city we live in. We were able to include elements we wanted that we otherwise wouldn't have been able to have.

Weddings, especially in major cities, have reached astronomical prices. A lot of people are having small weddings or going overseas to the Caribbean or Mexico where it is significantly cheaper.

Cheaper for the couple lol. That’s the issue. If your plan is to make it cheaper for yourself and more expensive and time consuming for your guests then don’t be surprised when most decline and the ones who have to be there (like siblings) are salty about it.