Drowning in Housework. What have you invested in?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:RADICALLY declutter your home and lower your standards. Worked like a dream for me.

This!

[Anonymous]

My guess is that the “help” you say your kids and DH do is not nearly enough.

-if you are cooking dinner, they should rotate cleaning the kitchen
-whoever didn’t cook dinner and isn’t cleaning the kitchen makes lunches
-everyone does their own laundry (including sheets/ towels). Your DH should probably do more of this
-everyone is old enough to clean their own bathrooms
-everyone is old enough to deal with their own clutter
-2 hours on the weekend for everyone doing the deep cleaning chores
-one person menu plans and the other grocery shops (or orders)

OP, how much of all of this are *you* doing? It should be more evenly spread out if you don’t want to resent your family.

You are

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry but it’s crazy with two helping kids, full time jobs (ie you are out of the house all day) and a maid twice a week, that you are still drowning in chores. Something feels really off about this!

LOL. If you are out of the house the whole day, working a 9 to 5 job, you really don't have too much time to do all the household chores in a non-stressful way. When you get back from work, you are dealing with dinner and taking care of the kids needs also. Do you think that working women have self-cleaning homes or that stay at home women mess up the house because they are home?

Running a household takes time. Raising kids takes time. Going to work 9-5 takes time. As a sahm, I also outsource and have an involved DH, and becuase I am home we are able to run our household smoothly, raise the kids to our satisfaction, focus on relationships and our health - without overwhelming stress. If I was working also life would have been frantic for all of us.

You don't understand that?

OP has a housekeeper twice a week. So, its just laundry and cooking. You can have food delivered. I am a SAHM and outsource nothing. You are privilaged. Most of us don't have your or OP lifestyle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, I made a correction early on but it has been lost in the back and forth

Maid comes twice a month.

Things would be SO much different if it was twice a week. A girl can dream!

Have the maid weekly or more. Get groceries delivered, get prepared meals.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry but it’s crazy with two helping kids, full time jobs (ie you are out of the house all day) and a maid twice a week, that you are still drowning in chores. Something feels really off about this!

LOL. If you are out of the house the whole day, working a 9 to 5 job, you really don't have too much time to do all the household chores in a non-stressful way. When you get back from work, you are dealing with dinner and taking care of the kids needs also. Do you think that working women have self-cleaning homes or that stay at home women mess up the house because they are home?

Running a household takes time. Raising kids takes time. Going to work 9-5 takes time. As a sahm, I also outsource and have an involved DH, and becuase I am home we are able to run our household smoothly, raise the kids to our satisfaction, focus on relationships and our health - without overwhelming stress. If I was working also life would have been frantic for all of us.

You don't understand that?

OP has a housekeeper twice a week. So, it’s just laundry and cooking. You can have food delivered. I am a SAHM and outsource nothing. You are privilaged. Most of us don't have your or OP lifestyle.

Op clarified error - housekeeper is every other week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry but it’s crazy with two helping kids, full time jobs (ie you are out of the house all day) and a maid twice a week, that you are still drowning in chores. Something feels really off about this!

LOL. If you are out of the house the whole day, working a 9 to 5 job, you really don't have too much time to do all the household chores in a non-stressful way. When you get back from work, you are dealing with dinner and taking care of the kids needs also. Do you think that working women have self-cleaning homes or that stay at home women mess up the house because they are home?

Running a household takes time. Raising kids takes time. Going to work 9-5 takes time. As a sahm, I also outsource and have an involved DH, and becuase I am home we are able to run our household smoothly, raise the kids to our satisfaction, focus on relationships and our health - without overwhelming stress. If I was working also life would have been frantic for all of us.

You don't understand that?

OP has a housekeeper twice a week. So, its just laundry and cooking. You can have food delivered. I am a SAHM and outsource nothing. You are privilaged. Most of us don't have your or OP lifestyle.

No, I am not. DH and I worked our butt off at school, college and our jobs. We saved and scrimped and were able to reap the benefit of good financial decisions when we became parents. You must have goofed off and that is not my problem. Making good decisions (not drinking, smoking, partying and hooking up) and making best use of public resources (public school, state college) does not make you privileged. Have you heard the fable of the grasshopper and the ant?

Also, I would rather invest in buying myself and my family time and good organization rather than get a spa treatment or live in an expensive neighborhood. My being at home with my kids, gets them a college educated mom as caretaker and mentor. I am an asset for my kids, so why would I spend time and energy doing domestic chores that wears me out? How is that smart?

We are able to afford a good lifestyle by keeping COL low. And I would never feed my kids delivered food because why feed some overprocessed crap to your kid. We invest our efforts in good nutrition.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry but it’s crazy with two helping kids, full time jobs (ie you are out of the house all day) and a maid twice a week, that you are still drowning in chores. Something feels really off about this!

LOL. If you are out of the house the whole day, working a 9 to 5 job, you really don't have too much time to do all the household chores in a non-stressful way. When you get back from work, you are dealing with dinner and taking care of the kids needs also. Do you think that working women have self-cleaning homes or that stay at home women mess up the house because they are home?

Running a household takes time. Raising kids takes time. Going to work 9-5 takes time. As a sahm, I also outsource and have an involved DH, and becuase I am home we are able to run our household smoothly, raise the kids to our satisfaction, focus on relationships and our health - without overwhelming stress. If I was working also life would have been frantic for all of us.

You don't understand that?

OP has a housekeeper twice a week. So, its just laundry and cooking. You can have food delivered. I am a SAHM and outsource nothing. You are privilaged. Most of us don't have your or OP lifestyle.

No, I am not. DH and I worked our butt off at school, college and our jobs. We saved and scrimped and were able to reap the benefit of good financial decisions when we became parents. You must have goofed off and that is not my problem. Making good decisions (not drinking, smoking, partying and hooking up) and making best use of public resources (public school, state college) does not make you privileged. Have you heard the fable of the grasshopper and the ant?

Also, I would rather invest in buying myself and my family time and good organization rather than get a spa treatment or live in an expensive neighborhood. My being at home with my kids, gets them a college educated mom as caretaker and mentor. I am an asset for my kids, so why would I spend time and energy doing domestic chores that wears me out? How is that smart?

We are able to afford a good lifestyle by keeping COL low. And I would never feed my kids delivered food because why feed some overprocessed crap to your kid. We invest our efforts in good nutrition.

This is absurd OP. It was your error that led people to think you had twice weekly maid service. That comment was unnecessary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Laundry is easy. Put a load in when you wake up. Stick it in the dryer as you leave. Fold it and have everyone take what’s theirs to put away in the evening. 7 loads a week is plenty for a family of four.

These posts baffle me. Do you just wash everyone's sheets and duvets in one giant load? Do you not separate colors and whites? Don't your kids have uniforms that need to be worn? Pets?

NP here but I'm going to be honest, yes. I've been washing everything on cold water for years, no need to separate, costs less money, less wear on clothes. Modern detergents and machines are more efficient and don't require hot water.

NP. I have one load of cold darks. Everything else is warm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry but it’s crazy with two helping kids, full time jobs (ie you are out of the house all day) and a maid twice a week, that you are still drowning in chores. Something feels really off about this!

LOL. If you are out of the house the whole day, working a 9 to 5 job, you really don't have too much time to do all the household chores in a non-stressful way. When you get back from work, you are dealing with dinner and taking care of the kids needs also. Do you think that working women have self-cleaning homes or that stay at home women mess up the house because they are home?

Running a household takes time. Raising kids takes time. Going to work 9-5 takes time. As a sahm, I also outsource and have an involved DH, and becuase I am home we are able to run our household smoothly, raise the kids to our satisfaction, focus on relationships and our health - without overwhelming stress. If I was working also life would have been frantic for all of us.

You don't understand that?

OP has a housekeeper twice a week. So, its just laundry and cooking. You can have food delivered. I am a SAHM and outsource nothing. You are privilaged. Most of us don't have your or OP lifestyle.

No, I am not. DH and I worked our butt off at school, college and our jobs. We saved and scrimped and were able to reap the benefit of good financial decisions when we became parents. You must have goofed off and that is not my problem. Making good decisions (not drinking, smoking, partying and hooking up) and making best use of public resources (public school, state college) does not make you privileged. Have you heard the fable of the grasshopper and the ant?

Also, I would rather invest in buying myself and my family time and good organization rather than get a spa treatment or live in an expensive neighborhood. My being at home with my kids, gets them a college educated mom as caretaker and mentor. I am an asset for my kids, so why would I spend time and energy doing domestic chores that wears me out? How is that smart?

We are able to afford a good lifestyle by keeping COL low. And I would never feed my kids delivered food because why feed some overprocessed crap to your kid. We invest our efforts in good nutrition.

This is absurd OP. It was your error that led people to think you had twice weekly maid service. That comment was unnecessary.

OP has gone from being every woman to being a giant unsympathetic jerk.

I’m glad you got good grades and didn’t goof off OP. You still have to do laundry and feed your children like the rest of us!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Laundry is easy. Put a load in when you wake up. Stick it in the dryer as you leave. Fold it and have everyone take what’s theirs to put away in the evening. 7 loads a week is plenty for a family of four.

These posts baffle me. Do you just wash everyone's sheets and duvets in one giant load? Do you not separate colors and whites? Don't your kids have uniforms that need to be worn? Pets?

NP here but I'm going to be honest, yes. I've been washing everything on cold water for years, no need to separate, costs less money, less wear on clothes. Modern detergents and machines are more efficient and don't require hot water.

This.
I was taught to only use cold water also air dry lots.
In a stickler for laundry too.. honestly my fav task 😆

NP. We are kindred. Cold water for everything and hang most clothes to dry or dry flat!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry but it’s crazy with two helping kids, full time jobs (ie you are out of the house all day) and a maid twice a week, that you are still drowning in chores. Something feels really off about this!

LOL. If you are out of the house the whole day, working a 9 to 5 job, you really don't have too much time to do all the household chores in a non-stressful way. When you get back from work, you are dealing with dinner and taking care of the kids needs also. Do you think that working women have self-cleaning homes or that stay at home women mess up the house because they are home?

Running a household takes time. Raising kids takes time. Going to work 9-5 takes time. As a sahm, I also outsource and have an involved DH, and becuase I am home we are able to run our household smoothly, raise the kids to our satisfaction, focus on relationships and our health - without overwhelming stress. If I was working also life would have been frantic for all of us.

You don't understand that?

OP has a housekeeper twice a week. So, its just laundry and cooking. You can have food delivered. I am a SAHM and outsource nothing. You are privilaged. Most of us don't have your or OP lifestyle.

No, I am not. DH and I worked our butt off at school, college and our jobs. We saved and scrimped and were able to reap the benefit of good financial decisions when we became parents. You must have goofed off and that is not my problem. Making good decisions (not drinking, smoking, partying and hooking up) and making best use of public resources (public school, state college) does not make you privileged. Have you heard the fable of the grasshopper and the ant?

Also, I would rather invest in buying myself and my family time and good organization rather than get a spa treatment or live in an expensive neighborhood. My being at home with my kids, gets them a college educated mom as caretaker and mentor. I am an asset for my kids, so why would I spend time and energy doing domestic chores that wears me out? How is that smart?

We are able to afford a good lifestyle by keeping COL low. And I would never feed my kids delivered food because why feed some overprocessed crap to your kid. We invest our efforts in good nutrition.

This is absurd OP. It was your error that led people to think you had twice weekly maid service. That comment was unnecessary.

OP has gone from being every woman to being a giant unsympathetic jerk.

I’m glad you got good grades and didn’t goof off OP. You still have to do laundry and feed your children like the rest of us!

That doesn't sound like OP. I think it's the PP SAHM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry oops, OP here she comes twice a month

One kid buys school lunch, the other one really struggles with school lunch. DH and I take lunch to work so I just give her what we are eating.

I do get groceries delivered via Instacart. I do some meal prepping but it still doesn’t seem to be enough because I can only prep a handful. I don’t have a full free weekend to get it all done and if I am meal prepping I am not getting all the other things done.

I lost two hours of my day to commuting now so that time was used on housework and now that I don’t have it… it spilled into everything. Else.

My suggestion is to hire a chef to come once a week and cook 3-4 meals. Freeze the leftovers and you will build up a freezer of Thaw & eat meals for days you need something fast.
Hire out lawn care?
If you have the money, send your laundry out for wash & fold.

[Anonymous]

We do a little every day. Kids are 5 and 9. They empty dishwasher and their own lunch boxes. We make lunch when we make breakfast. Some laundry is done daily. Everyone sis separate but I don't separate lights and darks. It all gets washed on cold. Really dirty outdoor things get soaked. All kids linens are washed together and adults sheets are washed together.
We do have a weekly cleaner and she makes the beds with clean sheets - game changer for me.
I cook daily and DH makes a couple dinners a week. Nothing complicated but fresh. DH does most of the laundry and kids fold their own stuff.
We declutter every couple days to keep on top of it. There is no secrets. Less stuff, doing a little daily and outsourcing the most frustrating to us stuff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My guess is that the “help” you say your kids and DH do is not nearly enough.

-if you are cooking dinner, they should rotate cleaning the kitchen
-whoever didn’t cook dinner and isn’t cleaning the kitchen makes lunches
-everyone does their own laundry (including sheets/ towels). Your DH should probably do more of this
-everyone is old enough to clean their own bathrooms
-everyone is old enough to deal with their own clutter
-2 hours on the weekend for everyone doing the deep cleaning chores
-one person menu plans and the other grocery shops (or orders)

OP, how much of all of this are *you* doing? It should be more evenly spread out if you don’t want to resent your family.

You are

Supervising my kids doing chores takes me longer than doing them myself. In the morning, it takes my 13 y13-year-oldminutes to make his bed and put away his clutter. It should take 3.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Um.

Your kids are NINE and TWELVE. They can pack their own lunches. The twelve year old can be responsible for doing all her own laundry. The nine year old can bring her laundry down to the basement to be washed.

You have a TWICE WEEKLY MAID and that's not enough?

Are the kids putting their dishes in the dishwasher? Unloading the dishwasher? They should be.

What does the maid do twice a week???

I can’t imagine what can’t be done with a maid twice a week and kids who are perfectly capable of helping.