Drowning in Housework. What have you invested in?

[Anonymous]

After going back to work five times a day, I am really drowning in the housework. Work a full day to drive kids to activities, to making dinner, laundry, dishes, lunches for the next day…. And start it all over again the next day.

Kids are 9 and 12, they help. DH is involved, he helps.

But I feel like there is still more to do than all four of us can get done and not go insane.

There are definitely days that I can get it all done but then I am not exercising, I am stressed, I am tired and overall unhappy.

So to my question, what have other dual income, two working parents outside the home invested in to help with housework?

We have a maid that comes twice a week but that’s not enough lately.

Is anyone else getting help with laundry with like a wash and fold service, or have someone come into the home and do more than the biweekly deep cleaning? I don’t know, I just need some ideas because right now I feel like I am constantly doing housework and still not keeping up.

[Anonymous]

Why do you need a maid twice a week when no one is even there? Can she clean one day and do laundry the other?
Can kids buy lunch at school? Can you meal prep in advance? Get grocery delivery? More take out?

[Anonymous]

You have a maid come twice a week and that isn't enough? That seems crazy to me.

But you mention laundry; that is easy to outsource. And if you can pay for a maid twice a week surely you can pay for some home-chef meal prepping or something like that.

[Anonymous]

I know some dual income houses and the houses can be a big mess. Just let it go.

Also, 12 is old enough to make lunches. I had to cook dinner when I was 13. Of course it was shake and bake chicken and rice but it was a meal. Ask for the help you need from your kids.

[Anonymous]

Um.

Your kids are NINE and TWELVE. They can pack their own lunches. The twelve year old can be responsible for doing all her own laundry. The nine year old can bring her laundry down to the basement to be washed.

You have a TWICE WEEKLY MAID and that's not enough?

Are the kids putting their dishes in the dishwasher? Unloading the dishwasher? They should be.

What does the maid do twice a week???

[Anonymous]

They make their own lunches or buy lunch at school.

Cook in bulk on the weekends and then reheat.

I'm not sure why a maid twice a week isn't enough. Are you not efficient and skillful with your chores? Do your kids have activities every single night?

[Anonymous]

Sorry oops, OP here she comes twice a month

One kid buys school lunch, the other one really struggles with school lunch. DH and I take lunch to work so I just give her what we are eating.

I do get groceries delivered via Instacart. I do some meal prepping but it still doesn’t seem to be enough because I can only prep a handful. I don’t have a full free weekend to get it all done and if I am meal prepping I am not getting all the other things done.

I lost two hours of my day to commuting now so that time was used on housework and now that I don’t have it… it spilled into everything. Else.

[Anonymous]

We’re using Rinse for wash and fold right now. It’s a pretty good deal. I signed up for 4 bags a month at $70 a bag (the bags are provided, and really big). I schedule a pickup once a week and they drop off the clean laundry the next day. I can fit all our regular laundry for a family of five (kids are 5, 3.5 and newborn) in a single giant bag. It’s a pretty reasonably priced timesaver if you work in an office five days a week.

[Anonymous]

Have a maid come once a week rather than twice a month. Kids do their own laundry. They pack their own lunches. They put their own dishes in the dishwasher.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We’re using Rinse for wash and fold right now. It’s a pretty good deal. I signed up for 4 bags a month at $70 a bag (the bags are provided, and really big). I schedule a pickup once a week and they drop off the clean laundry the next day. I can fit all our regular laundry for a family of five (kids are 5, 3.5 and newborn) in a single giant bag. It’s a pretty reasonably priced timesaver if you work in an office five days a week.

PP to add - I’m still doing towels and sheets and stuff myself.

[Anonymous]

I would see if your cleaning lady can work an extra 30 mins and she can do sheets and towels. Put them in when she arrives, run the washer and dryer, and put them right back on the beds-- no folding needed!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would see if your cleaning lady can work an extra 30 mins and she can do sheets and towels. Put them in when she arrives, run the washer and dryer, and put them right back on the beds-- no folding needed!

You are insane if you think washing three sets of sheets and four sets of towels and putting them back on the beds takes a 1/2 hour.

[Anonymous]

Outsource what bothers you most.
For me, I enjoy cooking and don’t mind laundry, but I hate cleaning—so that’s where I invest the most. If laundry stresses you out, consider trying a wash-and-fold service or hiring a household assistant 1–2 times a week just to stay on top of laundry. Personally, I wash, dry, and fold or put away one load per day. Our laundry is never “done,” but it’s never overwhelming either. On low-energy days, I’ll throw in a load of bath towels, couch blankets/throws, outerwear, or pet bedding and/or toys—things that don’t need fussy folding but keep the cycle moving.

Daily 15-Minute Family Reset:
We set a 15-minute timer every night and do a family tidy-up. Your kids are the perfect age to pitch in—wiping counters, picking up clutter, re-setting backpacks, etc. It’s amazing how much gets done quickly when everyone pitches in at once.

Maximize Carpools:
Our kids are in multiple activities, and we’ve joined 3 or 4 carpools because some of them are 30+ minutes away. This has been a massive time and sanity saver. If there’s any opportunity to share driving duties, take it.

Use Simple Automation Where You Can:
I run our Roomba daily while we’re out. It’s not perfect, but it keeps crumbs, pet hair, and dust at bay between deep cleans.

Streamline Shopping and Errands:
We don’t outsource much besides weekly house cleaning, but I bulk order non-perishables to avoid extra store trips. I still prefer picking out my own meat and produce. I try to batch errands into one afternoon to avoid random midweek runs.

A Few Random but Helpful Tips:

Keep a box of blank “Happy Birthday” cards on hand—it saves you from last-minute Target runs.

Stock a small stash of ready-to-go kid gifts or gift cards for party invites.

Keep extras of frequently used supplies (toothpaste, toilet paper, cleaning products, etc) so you’re not running out constantly.

[Anonymous]

I’ve started to order certain items on subscription like my detergent, dissolvable soap tablets (pack of 20 lasts for months and barely takes up space), shampoo and conditioner. It’s nice to not think about it. And maybe developing a system around laundry and have your kids help out by folding and putting items away (eg every Friday do towels and bedding for kids, and bedding for adults the next week).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Outsource what bothers you most.
For me, I enjoy cooking and don’t mind laundry, but I hate cleaning—so that’s where I invest the most. If laundry stresses you out, consider trying a wash-and-fold service or hiring a household assistant 1–2 times a week just to stay on top of laundry. Personally, I wash, dry, and fold or put away one load per day. Our laundry is never “done,” but it’s never overwhelming either. On low-energy days, I’ll throw in a load of bath towels, couch blankets/throws, outerwear, or pet bedding and/or toys—things that don’t need fussy folding but keep the cycle moving.

Daily 15-Minute Family Reset:
We set a 15-minute timer every night and do a family tidy-up. Your kids are the perfect age to pitch in—wiping counters, picking up clutter, re-setting backpacks, etc. It’s amazing how much gets done quickly when everyone pitches in at once.

Maximize Carpools:
Our kids are in multiple activities, and we’ve joined 3 or 4 carpools because some of them are 30+ minutes away. This has been a massive time and sanity saver. If there’s any opportunity to share driving duties, take it.

Use Simple Automation Where You Can:
I run our Roomba daily while we’re out. It’s not perfect, but it keeps crumbs, pet hair, and dust at bay between deep cleans.

Streamline Shopping and Errands:
We don’t outsource much besides weekly house cleaning, but I bulk order non-perishables to avoid extra store trips. I still prefer picking out my own meat and produce. I try to batch errands into one afternoon to avoid random midweek runs.

A Few Random but Helpful Tips:

Keep a box of blank “Happy Birthday” cards on hand—it saves you from last-minute Target runs.

Stock a small stash of ready-to-go kid gifts or gift cards for party invites.

Keep extras of frequently used supplies (toothpaste, toilet paper, cleaning products, etc) so you’re not running out constantly.

Thank you, OP here, this is really helpful