How to dodge a PI?

[Anonymous]

Can I just share that Virginia is crazy?!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for the amusing replies.

I'm in a separation where not-so STBX wants to do everything possible to 1) not divorce and 2) to take away support if that were to happen (15 year marriage, spousal and child support eligible).

I'm looking to date, not adultery, since it will most likely take years to finalize divorce. He has resources and the inclination to "fight to the end."

Two different lawyers have advised that even dating puts support at risk, because the optics would be the reason the marriage broke up was bc of the dating. I'm just so ready to move on with my life and I know how long this will take. Thanks for the advice and at least a laugh!

You are legally separated, have temp custody, have temp child support, and your goal is to date?

And the divorce request has been filed by you (or him) so you have 6 or 12 months to mediate or go to court.?.

Tell me you don't understand divorce in VA, without telling me you don't understand divorce in VA.

Tell me the last time a judge in Virginia GAF about a separated couple (meaning living apart, and a MSA is being negotiated) dating other people? I’ve seen judges in NOVA get pissed that someone would bring that kind of BS to court.

There's no such thing as legally separated and the Fairfax Co judges are each different and mercurial. I wouldn't draw inferences from what you've seen from one or two of them.

I went thought six judges I went pro se since I had a law degree

I agree w this. Ask me anything about a judge in FF Co. I had good ones. Female, defendant

[Anonymous]

The thing another a sneaky vindicatice ex like this, OP, is that it makes you paranoid.

And that is terrible for everyone involved

It can make you crazy. That’s what they kay for

[Anonymous]

“That is what they pay for.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for the amusing replies.

I'm in a separation where not-so STBX wants to do everything possible to 1) not divorce and 2) to take away support if that were to happen (15 year marriage, spousal and child support eligible).

I'm looking to date, not adultery, since it will most likely take years to finalize divorce. He has resources and the inclination to "fight to the end."

Two different lawyers have advised that even dating puts support at risk, because the optics would be the reason the marriage broke up was bc of the dating. I'm just so ready to move on with my life and I know how long this will take. Thanks for the advice and at least a laugh!

You are legally separated, have temp custody, have temp child support, and your goal is to date?

And the divorce request has been filed by you (or him) so you have 6 or 12 months to mediate or go to court.?.

Tell me you don't understand divorce in VA, without telling me you don't understand divorce in VA.

Tell me the last time a judge in Virginia GAF about a separated couple (meaning living apart, and a MSA is being negotiated) dating other people? I’ve seen judges in NOVA get pissed that someone would bring that kind of BS to court.

There's no such thing as legally separated and the Fairfax Co judges are each different and mercurial. I wouldn't draw inferences from what you've seen from one or two of them.

Not having legal separation status and a judge penalizing a party because they are dating AFTER moving into separate residences with the intent to divorce are two different things. But again: tell me the last time a Fairfax County judge awarded a distribution of assets (because custody is not awarded based on cheating in Virginia) based solely on someone dating AFTER the agreed-upon date of separation.

And yes, you do list a date of separation in your divorce petition in Virginia. Otherwise, when would anyone know when to start the clock on the required separation.

[Anonymous]

Have not scanned this all, but for a series of one offs.
Have an uber waiting outside the back of your hair place, nail place, massage place, any place you are a regular.
Go in the front door like you are getting a mani pedi, and give them a 20 to let you walk out the back and into the uber.
Come back the same way later. Or not. Whichever would be more satisfying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have not scanned this all, but for a series of one offs.
Have an uber waiting outside the back of your hair place, nail place, massage place, any place you are a regular.
Go in the front door like you are getting a mani pedi, and give them a 20 to let you walk out the back and into the uber.
Come back the same way later. Or not. Whichever would be more satisfying.

My wegmans has lots of exits too. Same idea.

[Anonymous]

I would really like the laws changes in VA. If we are going to support a PI industry (look at their websites to see their focal areas) in VA… can citizens also get a list of them and their photos.

VA lawyers love to suggest them as it ups the conflict

I confronted one dude. He started laughing —and then asked me out. (Do you want to go someplace?!). He was gross.

[Anonymous]

I had a gps tracker (this was before they were ubiquitous). I made a police report. I didn’t even end up using that in court (no one knew and it was not necessary to reveal the police report).

I also put a phone on a plane with a friend. I mean, I kept my ex busy. He was taping , and all those shenanigans.

We are friends now. He chilled out