Reflection: Advice to the Girls Ulittles

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The question was what should OP not do, or do, now. Above answer is right and fair. If you want the best team and best college chances, you have to get there early, whatever it takes. I saw a FIVE YEAR OLD with a private trainer. Yes really.
My DC is stuck on RL for exactly that reason. She COULD HAVE made NL if we had know all this early on. That’s the PPs point (and mine).

My DD played for a small club before she stopped to play other sports. The kids who were good enough for ECNL or GA played ECNL or GA when they left. Some left U12, some waited until high school. If your kid was good enough, they would make a team and get playing time.

[Anonymous]

If they played GA, you don’t live where I live. Location also matters. No one from a former small club will make an ECNL team in HS for the first time here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If they played GA, you don’t live where I live. Location also matters. No one from a former small club will make an ECNL team in HS for the first time here.

The forum has a title with a regional focus and it happens here all the time. The question is why do you care about metro DC soccer if you don’t live here?

[Anonymous]

I do live here. There are no GA teams between the river and Baltimore.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Be realistic about how athletic your daughter is - not how technical or good at soccer - but how athletic. Deciding factor in speed of play on girls side at older ages is dominated by athleticism and aggression.

This advice is dead wrong. Girls ages 9-12 are still growing and most have not hit puberty. You’d be a fool to judge factors such as aggression and size over technical ability at this age. Usually, kids with great technical ability also have speed and athleticism anyways.

Kids without the technical skills by age 12 should reconsider what sports to invest their time in. Muscle memory has already kicked in; whereas, athleticism, aggression and speed can always be taught. Technical abilities have a range before it’s just not happening. typically because if a kid has not practiced these skills in the past 3 years, they won’t automatically get disciplined enough to do it. I’ve never seen a 12 year old suddenly execute amazing technical skills if they didn’t already have a baseline.

I think this is spot on. My husband (former D1 player) worked a lot with our daughter when she was 8-11- pushed her to work with both feet; juggling; trapping, etc. now at 15 she can receive the ball at her feet and pinpoint pass ortake a shot with either foot with ease. Work both feet at an early age - make it something she doesn’t even think about. DD at 15 -if she needs to take a shot or pass with left foot (she is right handed) she doesn’t even pause just does it (vs many girls trying to switch to dominant foot)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^100 percent.
Also: the best kids are picked by U12. If not on top team somewhere, will be nearly impossible to move up.
Don’t let her suffer with a mean or bad coach.
Don’t keep her on a team if she’s not playing most of the game at that age.
It’s all about confidence. Let her hog a ball a bit. Selflessness gets you nowhere in girls soccer.

Also, this is 100%

If I knew now at u11 what I wish I would have known at u8 (Yes, we started travel at u8 and played a year up early with our local club.); then I would have switched her to a feeder ECNL club or straight ECNL club earlier. We stayed a 1-2 years too long at our local club because my DD was not ready to switch. (Didn't understand why.) But now we did switch and the tops teams are slammed full of kids. All very good kids. Our local club did not have the development or intensity needed to level my player at all. Now, we have to hope that about 10 other kids who arrived here before us either move out of the area, switch clubs or start to suck somehow. Otherwise, even with loads of hard work, we are still behind a lot of kids who had better development and behind in terms of longevity at priority at the club.

Do what you have to do to not get stuck on a ECNL RL team or a GA-II team. None of those teams get a lot of college exposure. None of those teams or players get recommended for much anything. I'd hate to get stuck on that level of a team (often kids are there, because they are stuck there and there is no room to move up), I'd switch to a club that has the club you want for college recruiting now.

(The exception to that is parents who know their kid is super athletic, bigger, faster and stronger than their peers.... they won't have to worry about switching early...they usually get picked at try outs for which ever team they go to... this take is based that observation 3 times over.)

And yes, keep working on juggling... that is a skill that showcases and encapsulates a kid's dedication to the sport to the coaches.

It's not 'we' You are not playing, your kid is. If your kid needs 10 other kids to leave the club, I don't think you have to worry about colleges scouting them

You missed the whole point. The point is, get to a good club early, otherwise you may find yourself not a good position to get on a top team. I would also assume that is why the OP took the time to post this question. The OP probably did not pose the question because they would be happy playing in NCSL. I assume they they were looking for advice on how to succeed if folks had to do it all over again.

The above poster has a point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The question was what should OP not do, or do, now. Above answer is right and fair. If you want the best team and best college chances, you have to get there early, whatever it takes. I saw a FIVE YEAR OLD with a private trainer. Yes really.
My DC is stuck on RL for exactly that reason. She COULD HAVE made NL if we had know all this early on. That’s the PPs point (and mine).

Me too. We switched at u13 and there was no way to get on a top team. That team was packed and the second team is also. If I had to do it over again at u9, I would have switched clubs earlier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The question was what should OP not do, or do, now. Above answer is right and fair. If you want the best team and best college chances, you have to get there early, whatever it takes. I saw a FIVE YEAR OLD with a private trainer. Yes really.
My DC is stuck on RL for exactly that reason. She COULD HAVE made NL if we had know all this early on. That’s the PPs point (and mine).

Me too. We switched at u13 and there was no way to get on a top team. That team was packed and the second team is also. If I had to do it over again at u9, I would have switched clubs earlier.

I would counter this with my kid switched at U13-- I wanted her to put in the work and continue to do so if she could be noticed at the highest level in tryouts. Playing ECNL is a huge family AND kid investment. Her putting in the work in learning the fundamentals at U9/10 and then putting in the bonus outside training work, largely on her own, in U11 and U12 showed us she wanted it. We weren't wrong. She continues to grind and have the drive to play in college, and by all measures seems on the track for that to be possible

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Be realistic about how athletic your daughter is - not how technical or good at soccer - but how athletic. Deciding factor in speed of play on girls side at older ages is dominated by athleticism and aggression.

This advice is dead wrong. Girls ages 9-12 are still growing and most have not hit puberty. You’d be a fool to judge factors such as aggression and size over technical ability at this age. Usually, kids with great technical ability also have speed and athleticism anyways.

Kids without the technical skills by age 12 should reconsider what sports to invest their time in. Muscle memory has already kicked in; whereas, athleticism, aggression and speed can always be taught. Technical abilities have a range before it’s just not happening. typically because if a kid has not practiced these skills in the past 3 years, they won’t automatically get disciplined enough to do it. I’ve never seen a 12 year old suddenly execute amazing technical skills if they didn’t already have a baseline.

You can't teach speed or athleticism. It's either there or not. You can make a kid marginally faster, but you can not make a slow kid fast

It’s clear you have never coached girls (maybe rec) or ever had good coaches. These are the most basic skills you can teach younger kids. Even older kids can get in shape and develop speed and athleticism. This is nothing more than getting in shape. Aggression is just a state of mind. However, skills get harder and harder to develop with age. That is why every country outside of America teaches fundamentals and skills repetitively. Over and over again then they work on size and aggression in the older years.

You're a natural athlete or you aren't. By U12, the travel kids are all already running and in shape, you still can't make a slow kid fast or quick.

Cant you also strengthen and build athleticism by exposing your kid to other sports? This seems like a vital aspect in development. It looks like a lot of kids use basketball to compliment soccer. Curious if folks agree and other sports that are nice crossovers.

I've had two kids go through ulittle to high school. The fastest and most athletic kids when the teams formed at U9 were the ones playing ECNL or other sports at that level by high school. No amount of training can overcome genetics especially when all of the kids they're competing against are also training

+1

-2

Genetics isn’t destiny, it’s predisposition. New to thread, but you absolutely can teach speed an athleticism. It gets harder as you get older for sure. But anyone who says speed cannot be taught is wrong. Anyone who says athleticism cannot be taught is wrong too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^100 percent.
Also: the best kids are picked by U12. If not on top team somewhere, will be nearly impossible to move up.
Don’t let her suffer with a mean or bad coach.
Don’t keep her on a team if she’s not playing most of the game at that age.
It’s all about confidence. Let her hog a ball a bit. Selflessness gets you nowhere in girls soccer.

Also, this is 100%

If I knew now at u11 what I wish I would have known at u8 (Yes, we started travel at u8 and played a year up early with our local club.); then I would have switched her to a feeder ECNL club or straight ECNL club earlier. We stayed a 1-2 years too long at our local club because my DD was not ready to switch. (Didn't understand why.) But now we did switch and the tops teams are slammed full of kids. All very good kids. Our local club did not have the development or intensity needed to level my player at all. Now, we have to hope that about 10 other kids who arrived here before us either move out of the area, switch clubs or start to suck somehow. Otherwise, even with loads of hard work, we are still behind a lot of kids who had better development and behind in terms of longevity at priority at the club.

Do what you have to do to not get stuck on a ECNL RL team or a GA-II team. None of those teams get a lot of college exposure. None of those teams or players get recommended for much anything. I'd hate to get stuck on that level of a team (often kids are there, because they are stuck there and there is no room to move up), I'd switch to a club that has the club you want for college recruiting now.

(The exception to that is parents who know their kid is super athletic, bigger, faster and stronger than their peers.... they won't have to worry about switching early...they usually get picked at try outs for which ever team they go to... this take is based that observation 3 times over.)

And yes, keep working on juggling... that is a skill that showcases and encapsulates a kid's dedication to the sport to the coaches.

It's not 'we' You are not playing, your kid is. If your kid needs 10 other kids to leave the club, I don't think you have to worry about colleges scouting them

I took the “not we” approach with my older. With my younger I’ve gone full circle, it’s absolutely “we.” Yes she is the player, in the payer, driver, factotum, expediter, dietician, laundry specialist, etc. It’s absolutely a home team behind the player. So yep, “WE have to travel this weekend, because WE have a tournament.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^100 percent.
Also: the best kids are picked by U12. If not on top team somewhere, will be nearly impossible to move up.
Don’t let her suffer with a mean or bad coach.
Don’t keep her on a team if she’s not playing most of the game at that age.
It’s all about confidence. Let her hog a ball a bit. Selflessness gets you nowhere in girls soccer.

Also, this is 100%

If I knew now at u11 what I wish I would have known at u8 (Yes, we started travel at u8 and played a year up early with our local club.); then I would have switched her to a feeder ECNL club or straight ECNL club earlier. We stayed a 1-2 years too long at our local club because my DD was not ready to switch. (Didn't understand why.) But now we did switch and the tops teams are slammed full of kids. All very good kids. Our local club did not have the development or intensity needed to level my player at all. Now, we have to hope that about 10 other kids who arrived here before us either move out of the area, switch clubs or start to suck somehow. Otherwise, even with loads of hard work, we are still behind a lot of kids who had better development and behind in terms of longevity at priority at the club.

Do what you have to do to not get stuck on a ECNL RL team or a GA-II team. None of those teams get a lot of college exposure. None of those teams or players get recommended for much anything. I'd hate to get stuck on that level of a team (often kids are there, because they are stuck there and there is no room to move up), I'd switch to a club that has the club you want for college recruiting now.

(The exception to that is parents who know their kid is super athletic, bigger, faster and stronger than their peers.... they won't have to worry about switching early...they usually get picked at try outs for which ever team they go to... this take is based that observation 3 times over.)

And yes, keep working on juggling... that is a skill that showcases and encapsulates a kid's dedication to the sport to the coaches.

It's not 'we' You are not playing, your kid is. If your kid needs 10 other kids to leave the club, I don't think you have to worry about colleges scouting them

I took the “not we” approach with my older. With my younger I’ve gone full circle, it’s absolutely “we.” Yes she is the player, in the payer, driver, factotum, expediter, dietician, laundry specialist, etc. It’s absolutely a home team behind the player. So yep, “WE have to travel this weekend, because WE have a tournament.”

+100 As parents you have to be absolutely about “we”. Some of these coaches in this area are such dirty rats and treat your child like garbage. You have to let your girls know that you have their back. The post that said parents should stop attending their child’s practice after U6 and should stop cheering on the sideline is probably one of these dirty rat coaches. They taunt and humiliate young kids. There are many good coaches in the area but many are toxic sub-humans that should not be anywhere near children. The stories I could tell about some of the nasty things coaches have done and said (even at the uLittles age) would shock and horrify you. Most kids quit at 12 because of rotten coaches. It’s not overly involved parents that are causing girls to leave its inhumane coaches. Shop around and talk to people. The good coaches and teams do exist but you need to do your homework. Don’t settle for the local neighborhood bully coach because he tells you he’s brilliant. He’s probably a moron that is only coaching for extra cash and most likely very resentful of the girls and parents.

[Anonymous]

Been doing this for a long time with multiple kids. It’s hard to say one best way because it really depends on the individual. For some girls staying at the small club longer is better, for others it’s better to move early. Anyone saying something is better really means it was better for their kid. Doesn’t mean it’ll be better for yours. My advice is to make sure the things you do are driven by what she wants and not what you want for her. Sometimes kids say they want something too because they know how important it is to you and want to make you happy. Your job is to become knowledgeable in the process (what are the different leagues, clubs, what kind of extra training is age appropriate, etc) so you can present all the options to your daughter. But the motivation needs to be hers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Be realistic about how athletic your daughter is - not how technical or good at soccer - but how athletic. Deciding factor in speed of play on girls side at older ages is dominated by athleticism and aggression.

Eff this advice. Be technical and smart. This is everything that is wrong with American soccer and slowly the game is evolving.

That said, of course athleticism matters a lot. It is a sport but you can control your technical and tactical development. Athleticism is god given.

Also, to those who are athletic, great, do us all a favor and stop being lazy and simply relying on athleticism. Play some wall ball, be a student of the game and respect the technical aspects. If you are an athletic freak then it shouldn't be hard to develop good first touch. The game demands technical players when all anyone has is athleticism.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Be realistic about how athletic your daughter is - not how technical or good at soccer - but how athletic. Deciding factor in speed of play on girls side at older ages is dominated by athleticism and aggression.

Eff this advice. Be technical and smart. This is everything that is wrong with American soccer and slowly the game is evolving.

That said, of course athleticism matters a lot. It is a sport but you can control your technical and tactical development. Athleticism is god given.

Also, to those who are athletic, great, do us all a favor and stop being lazy and simply relying on athleticism. Play some wall ball, be a student of the game and respect the technical aspects. If you are an athletic freak then it shouldn't be hard to develop good first touch. The game demands technical players when all anyone has is athleticism.

Thank you. If your kid's only selling point is size and speed that's sad and doing the player a disservice. Studies show smaller players that stick with soccer into high school do much better because they learn so much more/work harder than the players who do minimal work and rely just on their size/speed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Be realistic about how athletic your daughter is - not how technical or good at soccer - but how athletic. Deciding factor in speed of play on girls side at older ages is dominated by athleticism and aggression.

Eff this advice. Be technical and smart. This is everything that is wrong with American soccer and slowly the game is evolving.

That said, of course athleticism matters a lot. It is a sport but you can control your technical and tactical development. Athleticism is god given.

Also, to those who are athletic, great, do us all a favor and stop being lazy and simply relying on athleticism. Play some wall ball, be a student of the game and respect the technical aspects. If you are an athletic freak then it shouldn't be hard to develop good first touch. The game demands technical players when all anyone has is athleticism.

Thank you. If your kid's only selling point is size and speed that's sad and doing the player a disservice. Studies show smaller players that stick with soccer into high school do much better because they learn so much more/work harder than the players who do minimal work and rely just on their size/speed.

Unfortunately a lot of these genius uLittle coaches are geared only on size and big kicks. They ignore basic skills. Some top teams have players that can’t even receive a pass, have first touch or even handle a 1 v 1. It’s a sad state when “athleticism” for coaches means big size and not skill, movement and execution. Look at the US Gold medal Olympic team. Those women are not huge but they are highly skilled. Ignore the doofus coaches; they should get a job at Golds Gym selling protein powder.