s/o do you have a death binder

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My dad did a file on the computer years ago that he called "Good Grief." It was instructions for any accounts that he had, whom to call and what to do if he died. He did it for my mom, but mom has basically taken it over (dad is declining) and is updating it for us kids.

Maybe asking the parents to do it for each other is a good way to get the process started?

Good Grief. Ha. That made me smile. Clever guy, that dad of yours. I’m sorry he is declining. Sounds like he has been a great dad.

OR you could leave them alone in their old age and not hassle them about things that are not their problem.

Huh? You are off-base from this discussion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My dad did a file on the computer years ago that he called "Good Grief." It was instructions for any accounts that he had, whom to call and what to do if he died. He did it for my mom, but mom has basically taken it over (dad is declining) and is updating it for us kids.

Maybe asking the parents to do it for each other is a good way to get the process started?

Good Grief. Ha. That made me smile. Clever guy, that dad of yours. I’m sorry he is declining. Sounds like he has been a great dad.

OR you could leave them alone in their old age and not hassle them about things that are not their problem.

Huh? You are off-base from this discussion.

Says the ghoul who charges dying people huge sums for unnecessary work. Go spam somewhere else!

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks to those that have replied - I am looking into the NOLO book and the AARP website. Appreciate the stories from folks who have benefited and my condolences for your losses. Hopefully we can make it easier on others going forward.

[Anonymous]

A couple of years ago, I bought my DH a password organizer (looks like an address book) from Amazon. Compared to up his sticky note method, this book is a dream. So many passwords to manage. We have also consolidated most of our accounts into one investment brokerage firm. We are still holding on to the safety deposit box though. I would eliminate it, but my DH is the holdout. I had to jump thru a lot of hoops to gain access to my father’s box. I think a firebox would be a better choice.

Now that my kids are firmly into young adulthood, I have taken them on a tour of my file box. This is an ongoing chore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean, none of this is my problem. I'll be dead. Someone else can sort it all out.

It's a gift to your loved ones.

Yeah, but I'll be dead. They can do what they want, I don't care.

I assume you're single and don't like your heirs.

Pretty sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We're working on this now with my parents. AARP has a helpful and free set of docs: ambar.org/aarpforms

These are very helpful and an actual system to follow - thank you for posting!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At what age is it reasonable to ask parents to do this? Mine are in their late 60s and have been dragging their feet on putting any information together for us.

Any age really

Had friend who recently had major medical event, only 50, and it was a month of not knowing if they would Make it, and if they did would they even have the mental capabilities to be 90% of themself (they got lucky and it will be 100% mental and physical but it was a long month). Their spouse had no access to any account other than their main bank account. None of the savings/investments/etc. Couldn't pay the large tax bill or other bills simply because they couldn't access the money. Had they had even the logins they could have transferred the money. Instead it was another stressor they did NOT need in their life at that time.

So that reminded me that everyone needs to have a "death binder" with full access for the other partner/adult kids/etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At what age is it reasonable to ask parents to do this? Mine are in their late 60s and have been dragging their feet on putting any information together for us.

Is it ever reasonable? I feel like most people who are reasonably close to 70 who haven’t done some form of this are not going to do anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean, none of this is my problem. I'll be dead. Someone else can sort it all out.

It's a gift to your loved ones.

Yeah, but I'll be dead. They can do what they want, I don't care.

What a great person you are..

[Anonymous]

I am 52 and bought a download for under $10 from Etsy recently. I didn’t use all the sections and I found some parts of it to be redundant.

I told myself just to go through the parts that applied to me and write the stuff down, and not to overthink it! I used a couple of the blank sheets that came with it to just jot down a bunch of things that came to mine like pin numbers where I hide some jewelry in the house, etc.

I can be totally perfectionistic, and I told myself to not be perfectionistic and just get stuff written down! With that mindset, it was pretty painless.

Don’t let perfect be the enemy of the good. Anything you do is a great start.