s/o do you have a death binder

[Anonymous]

Coming from the previous thread where someone had prepared a death binder...how do you have things organized? Recently watched a friend go through this with the death of a parent and while I thought we were well organized I think there is a lot more we can do. Has anyone used one of the commercial binders/set ups? or do you have another good way to ensure you have all the necessary information where it's needed and easy for folks to access in the event of your untimely demise?

[Anonymous]

Yes but it's a thumb drive

[Anonymous]

My Dad had a binder and it was an absolutely godsend during a very stressful time (he passes suddenly). He just had a printout of every account with the account number and a number to call, all the utilities under his name. Beneficieries had been decided in the will. We went page by page, called every place, sent the death certificate, and when we got to the last page, we were done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My Dad had a binder and it was an absolutely godsend during a very stressful time (he passes suddenly). He just had a printout of every account with the account number and a number to call, all the utilities under his name. Beneficieries had been decided in the will. We went page by page, called every place, sent the death certificate, and when we got to the last page, we were done.

What a fabulous thing he did for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My Dad had a binder and it was an absolutely godsend during a very stressful time (he passes suddenly). He just had a printout of every account with the account number and a number to call, all the utilities under his name. Beneficieries had been decided in the will. We went page by page, called every place, sent the death certificate, and when we got to the last page, we were done.

What a fabulous thing he did for you.

That's truly a gift.

Any good sites/articles about what all needs to be in such a binder?

[Anonymous]

We used NOLO what to do before you die system. Came with a binder with categories and a book. The book walked you through each section of what would be placed in each. There was a digital download that you could print out all the pages you need. I have copies in the binder plus a copy on our computer and our kids know where to look.
I even went so far as spelling out what I want for service afterwards and letters for each kid. My mom had a copy of what songs she wanted and readings. It made everything easier.
I’ve also seen advertisements for a system called KOK box that also helps you get organized.

[Anonymous]

I want to. I don't yet. I have tried. I have muddled up combinations of documents. I have downloaded death binder guidelines and the like, and then get stuck when I run out of time, need to get more information. My DH is worse than me and never thinks about it all. I want to be better.

[Anonymous]

We do not but probably should. My in-laws had them and they were a godsend to DH and his siblings. My sister lives near my parents and is their executor so I don't know if they have one or not, although this reminds me that I should probably ask.

[Anonymous]

My parents have one for us with color coded tabs and everything.

I need to do this for my kids but at the moment things are too in flux. I do have a will and POA, etc on file with my atty.

[Anonymous]

I have all of the info mentioned above, but in spreadsheet format with account numbers, websites, how much is in each account, bills that need to be paid and how much and whether they are on automatic payment. Then underneath, I have step by step instructions. i.e., 1. Get 5 copies of death certificate (one with cause of death). 2. Cancel credit cards. 3. Notify life insurance company, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes but it's a thumb drive

They can be unreliable. Be sure to have a backup and maybe a hard copy.

[Anonymous]

At what age is it reasonable to ask parents to do this? Mine are in their late 60s and have been dragging their feet on putting any information together for us.

[Anonymous]

My dad did a file on the computer years ago that he called "Good Grief." It was instructions for any accounts that he had, whom to call and what to do if he died. He did it for my mom, but mom has basically taken it over (dad is declining) and is updating it for us kids.

Maybe asking the parents to do it for each other is a good way to get the process started?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We used NOLO what to do before you die system. Came with a binder with categories and a book. The book walked you through each section of what would be placed in each. There was a digital download that you could print out all the pages you need. I have copies in the binder plus a copy on our computer and our kids know where to look.
I even went so far as spelling out what I want for service afterwards and letters for each kid. My mom had a copy of what songs she wanted and readings. It made everything easier.
I’ve also seen advertisements for a system called KOK box that also helps you get organized.

we did something similar with NOLO, including funeral arrangements and cremation.

I just told DH we need to update the binder. It's over 10 years old now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At what age is it reasonable to ask parents to do this? Mine are in their late 60s and have been dragging their feet on putting any information together for us.

better to phrase it as something they need to get together for each other, not related to aging. "a friend of a friend got into a bad car accident/had a heart attack/whatever and their spouse had no idea how to access bills/accounts/etc. made us realize we need to get things organized and documented in case of an sudden accident, you two should do that too!"