Anyone rich ever consider leaving the rat race

[Anonymous]

What is OP's end goal? Are they looking to retire/quit their jobs and move somewhere else that's more laid back but still full of rich people? Or are you going to be continuing your careers/grind? It's really unclear what you're looking to do, other than be "normal" but stay away from the poors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s not money driven. We have been beyond comprehension financially successful. But nothing about our lives feels normal.

I think we are well grounded and our kids definitely don’t feel rich. But we’d like them to live a more normal life.

Or is that practically unrealistic?

What is a rat race to you? Not sure I would use that term. Been in BigLaw for 25 plus years. Happy with job; happy with life. What does not feel normal? If it is happening to you it is normal.

[Anonymous]

Just move to Silicon Valley where your kids can be surrounded by other people who can make them feel poor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Olney/Brookeville has wealthy families without the rat race.

I’m the poster who left and always thinks about coming back and Olney/Brookeville is exactly where I keep getting drawn to. Can you tell me more about the vibe there?

It has the wealth of Potomac/Bethesda/CC without the striver element.

It’s a mix of UMC to affluent families with very little (hardly any, really) low income housing.

No metro, so minimal issues with riff raff.

Plenty of UMC families still use public schools. Others use the local privates or schlep down county or into DC for private (mostly legacies).

Lots of second or third generation locals who love the old school, small town way of life.

Diverse racially/ethnically but not socioeconomically. (Again: no real low income housing; few rentals).

Sports are big. Some kids ride horses.

Lots of families with beach houses and money, but you rarely see designer or showy accessories.

I think a lot of MoCo locals strategically moved out here to avoid the rat race and the pressure it imposes on all facets of life. And some moved out here because they no longer recognize parts of down county that have changed too much.

I guess I’m just driving past the wrong part of Olney/Brookville because all I ever see is strip malls and subdivisions with big lots and questionable architecture.

You probably haven’t seen the homes north of $1M on big lots.

But the point of the thread is where are the affluent, well educated people raising kids when they don’t want to keep up with Joneses? And many of us are in Olney/Brookeville.

We have money, but we aren’t flashy.

We want our kids to be well rounded, not stressed out.

We don’t want to work a million hours a week.

We want to know our neighbors and carpool and hang out.

There’s a reason why we have multiple beer farms out here. We are still having field parties and listening to live music even though we are old.

I thought the beer farms were just because of zoning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don't actually have to move to leave the rat race. There's plenty of middle class people in the DC area who live normal lives.

Op here. The problem is that we aren’t middle class and pretending that we are is both unrealistic and just dishonest to everybody involved.

Lol

The richest people I know in real life are (1) a NPR reporter (2) art teachers. Like heiress level of money. And they totally cosplay as middle class. Maybe even think they are middle class. Bless. You're going to be OK.

Funny! The richest person I know is a second generation builder developer masquerading as a very part-time Realtor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Yes- we did this coming out of the pandemic. From a wealthy close-in DC sunburn neighborhood to a beach town small-town life 3 years ago. Not a day goes by when we don’t wonder if we made the right decision. We miss culture, opportunities other than sports for our kids and do not fit in with the Tattoed drinking culture here. Is it more relaxing- yes- but feel like we swung the pendulum too far. Our kids are happy—- top of their classes, recognized for accomplishments that would be just matter-of-fact in DC. Not sure where the grass is greener.


This is how almost every beach town is. Schools aren't great and the locals raising families there aren't an UMC cohort.

This. I grew up in a small town and recognize this every time I go to the beach (Delaware or OBX or Chincoteague or wherever). If I left here, it would be for a mid-sized city (not a small town). However, I think the "rat race" is partly of your own making. You can live here and not be part of the "rat race". There are like minded people here despite the stereotype. Move away from the inner suburbs. I'm in the "less inner suburbs" where we have a real mix of people.

Or into a more urban area, there is a lot more variety with density and less uniformity. I find city lifestyle to be less rat-race oriented simply because there are so many ways to live, work, be without others caring. IDK if it's a mix of people in diff stages of life (young and old) or diff occupations (from lowest paying to highest paying). The energy is different than in an affluent suburb for sure

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Olney/Brookeville has wealthy families without the rat race.

I’m the poster who left and always thinks about coming back and Olney/Brookeville is exactly where I keep getting drawn to. Can you tell me more about the vibe there?

It has the wealth of Potomac/Bethesda/CC without the striver element.

It’s a mix of UMC to affluent families with very little (hardly any, really) low income housing.

No metro, so minimal issues with riff raff.

Plenty of UMC families still use public schools. Others use the local privates or schlep down county or into DC for private (mostly legacies).

Lots of second or third generation locals who love the old school, small town way of life.

Diverse racially/ethnically but not socioeconomically. (Again: no real low income housing; few rentals).

Sports are big. Some kids ride horses.

Lots of families with beach houses and money, but you rarely see designer or showy accessories.

I think a lot of MoCo locals strategically moved out here to avoid the rat race and the pressure it imposes on all facets of life. And some moved out here because they no longer recognize parts of down county that have changed too much.

What is the "rat race" for the wealthy people exactly? Can you please describe what someone with many millions in NW would be suffering if living in Bethesda/Potomac/Mclean/GF/CC/Arlington exactly? Keeping up with who if you are already loaded?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Yes- we did this coming out of the pandemic. From a wealthy close-in DC sunburn neighborhood to a beach town small-town life 3 years ago. Not a day goes by when we don’t wonder if we made the right decision. We miss culture, opportunities other than sports for our kids and do not fit in with the Tattoed drinking culture here. Is it more relaxing- yes- but feel like we swung the pendulum too far. Our kids are happy—- top of their classes, recognized for accomplishments that would be just matter-of-fact in DC. Not sure where the grass is greener.


This is how almost every beach town is. Schools aren't great and the locals raising families there aren't an UMC cohort.

This. I grew up in a small town and recognize this every time I go to the beach (Delaware or OBX or Chincoteague or wherever). If I left here, it would be for a mid-sized city (not a small town). However, I think the "rat race" is partly of your own making. You can live here and not be part of the "rat race". There are like minded people here despite the stereotype. Move away from the inner suburbs. I'm in the "less inner suburbs" where we have a real mix of people.

Or into a more urban area, there is a lot more variety with density and less uniformity. I find city lifestyle to be less rat-race oriented simply because there are so many ways to live, work, be without others caring. IDK if it's a mix of people in diff stages of life (young and old) or diff occupations (from lowest paying to highest paying). The energy is different than in an affluent suburb for sure

I agree with this. I think the variety of things to do along with the variety of people is very freeing. If you have enough money, you wont be a part of a work commute or lunch line so you can enjoy the best parts if city life. The only other alternative I see is if you want to pursue a sport/outdoors for a lot of your time and then you could do like a PP said, move to CO or a town like Park City.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes- we did this coming out of the pandemic. From a wealthy close-in DC sunburn neighborhood to a beach town small-town life 3 years ago. Not a day goes by when we don’t wonder if we made the right decision. We miss culture, opportunities other than sports for our kids and do not fit in with the Tattoed drinking culture here. Is it more relaxing- yes- but feel like we swung the pendulum too far. Our kids are happy—- top of their classes, recognized for accomplishments that would be just matter-of-fact in DC. Not sure where the grass is greener.

This is how almost every beach town is. Schools aren't great and the locals raising families there aren't an UMC cohort.

I would avoid beach/resort towns. IME, the best experience for small towns is exurbs of cities (even smaller cities), even if (maybe especially if?) they're near nice areas that might otherwise be resorts. You want a place that has a real economy that isn't just tourism-based and a large percentage of full-time residents. If you can get a good mix of people who commute to the city for work or WFH, people who own local businesses, and rich people who can live anywhere they want (retired, or just otherwise wealthy), you can get a nice community that values schools and community arts, etc. You also have the nearby city for things you can't get in the smaller community. These towns are out there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Olney/Brookeville has wealthy families without the rat race.

I’m the poster who left and always thinks about coming back and Olney/Brookeville is exactly where I keep getting drawn to. Can you tell me more about the vibe there?

It has the wealth of Potomac/Bethesda/CC without the striver element.

It’s a mix of UMC to affluent families with very little (hardly any, really) low income housing.

No metro, so minimal issues with riff raff.

Plenty of UMC families still use public schools. Others use the local privates or schlep down county or into DC for private (mostly legacies).

Lots of second or third generation locals who love the old school, small town way of life.

Diverse racially/ethnically but not socioeconomically. (Again: no real low income housing; few rentals).

Sports are big. Some kids ride horses.

Lots of families with beach houses and money, but you rarely see designer or showy accessories.

I think a lot of MoCo locals strategically moved out here to avoid the rat race and the pressure it imposes on all facets of life. And some moved out here because they no longer recognize parts of down county that have changed too much.

I guess I’m just driving past the wrong part of Olney/Brookville because all I ever see is strip malls and subdivisions with big lots and questionable architecture.

In more rural areas, you can't see the nice houses from the road.

In Paul Russell's "Class," he calls the upper class "rich out of sight" because you can't see their houses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Olney/Brookeville has wealthy families without the rat race.

I’m the poster who left and always thinks about coming back and Olney/Brookeville is exactly where I keep getting drawn to. Can you tell me more about the vibe there?

It has the wealth of Potomac/Bethesda/CC without the striver element.

It’s a mix of UMC to affluent families with very little (hardly any, really) low income housing.

No metro, so minimal issues with riff raff.

Plenty of UMC families still use public schools. Others use the local privates or schlep down county or into DC for private (mostly legacies).

Lots of second or third generation locals who love the old school, small town way of life.

Diverse racially/ethnically but not socioeconomically. (Again: no real low income housing; few rentals).

Sports are big. Some kids ride horses.

Lots of families with beach houses and money, but you rarely see designer or showy accessories.

I think a lot of MoCo locals strategically moved out here to avoid the rat race and the pressure it imposes on all facets of life. And some moved out here because they no longer recognize parts of down county that have changed too much.

What is the "rat race" for the wealthy people exactly? Can you please describe what someone with many millions in NW would be suffering if living in Bethesda/Potomac/Mclean/GF/CC/Arlington exactly? Keeping up with who if you are already loaded?

I’ll try. Imagine making $3-5M+/ year. You can afford almost anything, always without ever giving it a second thought and you still are putting away $1M+/ yr. Your income fluctuates with the economy so every year is not necessarily better than the last but it continues to trend upwards. Depending on your age when you are making that money you could pass $5M/ yr or $10M/yr In fact, you probably already have outlier years where you make double what you normally make.

After some consistent years at that level your money makes money and objectively considerable money. Several hundred thousand. Eventually more than a million peryear.

At some point you decide that you have enough but it is still scary to leave what was consistently many millions per year in more active income income plus $1M-$2M or more in passive income for just the passive income. Objectively the passive income is plenty. But you can’t leave something that was making many millions and just go back if it doesn’t work out. You are on train to extreme wealth but if you get off you are done. If you get off too early you will be fine but your wealth will over time dissipate. It may be decades but it will erode. If you stay on too long you don’t get to enjoy any of it.

That is the rat race. Not even a 1 percenter problem. A .25% or .1% er problem. But a rat race nonetheless.

[Anonymous]

No, because we never got caught up in it. When we started making a lot of money we didn’t change our lifestyle at all. All that changed was that our net worth soared. I think it kept us and our kids grounded. When my husband finally decided it was time to retire he did and we never gave a thought to could we afford to because we could easily.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, because we never got caught up in it. When we started making a lot of money we didn’t change our lifestyle at all. All that changed was that our net worth soared. I think it kept us and our kids grounded. When my husband finally decided it was time to retire he did and we never gave a thought to could we afford to because we could easily.

Not constantly upgrading your lifestyle is a big part of it.

The rat race is the pressure of constantly trying to move up the career and wealth ladders. You're surrounded by other people doing the same and it's exhausting once you realize you want out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Olney/Brookeville has wealthy families without the rat race.

I’m the poster who left and always thinks about coming back and Olney/Brookeville is exactly where I keep getting drawn to. Can you tell me more about the vibe there?

It has the wealth of Potomac/Bethesda/CC without the striver element.

It’s a mix of UMC to affluent families with very little (hardly any, really) low income housing.

No metro, so minimal issues with riff raff.

Plenty of UMC families still use public schools. Others use the local privates or schlep down county or into DC for private (mostly legacies).

Lots of second or third generation locals who love the old school, small town way of life.

Diverse racially/ethnically but not socioeconomically. (Again: no real low income housing; few rentals).

Sports are big. Some kids ride horses.

Lots of families with beach houses and money, but you rarely see designer or showy accessories.

I think a lot of MoCo locals strategically moved out here to avoid the rat race and the pressure it imposes on all facets of life. And some moved out here because they no longer recognize parts of down county that have changed too much.

What is the "rat race" for the wealthy people exactly? Can you please describe what someone with many millions in NW would be suffering if living in Bethesda/Potomac/Mclean/GF/CC/Arlington exactly? Keeping up with who if you are already loaded?

I’ll try. Imagine making $3-5M+/ year. You can afford almost anything, always without ever giving it a second thought and you still are putting away $1M+/ yr. Your income fluctuates with the economy so every year is not necessarily better than the last but it continues to trend upwards. Depending on your age when you are making that money you could pass $5M/ yr or $10M/yr In fact, you probably already have outlier years where you make double what you normally make.

After some consistent years at that level your money makes money and objectively considerable money. Several hundred thousand. Eventually more than a million peryear.

At some point you decide that you have enough but it is still scary to leave what was consistently many millions per year in more active income income plus $1M-$2M or more in passive income for just the passive income. Objectively the passive income is plenty. But you can’t leave something that was making many millions and just go back if it doesn’t work out. You are on train to extreme wealth but if you get off you are done. If you get off too early you will be fine but your wealth will over time dissipate. It may be decades but it will erode. If you stay on too long you don’t get to enjoy any of it.

That is the rat race. Not even a 1 percenter problem. A .25% or .1% er problem. But a rat race nonetheless.

That sound in the distance is the world's tiniest violin.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You don't actually have to move to leave the rat race. There's plenty of middle class people in the DC area who live normal lives.

This is what I was thinking. I live IN DC and don’t know any rat race people. I spend my life trying to get paid a lot to do as little work as possible (am not a fed).