Anyone rich ever consider leaving the rat race

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don't actually have to move to leave the rat race. There's plenty of middle class people in the DC area who live normal lives.

Op here. The problem is that we aren’t middle class and pretending that we are is both unrealistic and just dishonest to everybody involved.

“Pretending” you’re middle class???
Wow, OP. You sound insufferable. Stay in DC.

What's your criticism here exactly?

There are lots of really wealthy people in dc who are quiet about it and just plugging along - not really in the rat race and doing jobs that they enjoy. Teaching, non profit, social work, etc. I think some of this is your attitude and it’s not going to be any different anywhere else.

Not OP here, but I'm guessing OP doesn't work in these traditionally low paying jobs and that's part of the reason why it doesn't make sense to pretend like they're middle class. Maybe they have high paying careers that they like and don't want to switch careers either. I don't think the trick here is to change your job to something that doesn't pay anything. Most of us have worked our entire life to be where we are career wise and there's no sense in giving it up just to cosplay being poor.

FWIW, I get really annoyed when rich people pretend like they're struggling like the rest of us because they're an ~artist~ when everything is actually just funded by family money. And I find it hilarious that some posters feel better being fooled by someone's masking than to know the truth of someone's financial well being.

I definitely never “pretend to struggle” but it actually is tricky and complicated to have a lot more money than your neighborhood peers and lateral colleagues. People tend to live and work in economically homogeneous bands, or assume it’s true. And in neighbor chatter people are always talking about interest rates, expensive plumbers, etc. I’m not being “dishonest” exactly if I don’t say “I don’t have a mortgage because of inheritance and I dgaf what the plumber costs.” You can imagine how that would go over.

It wouldn’t matter if I moved to a more expensive neighborhood either because people max out their housing and live on a budget way up the scale, past where I could afford anyway. And we like our house and neighborhood.

Plenty of people living happily below their means in the DC area, OP.

And I agree, a waitress at Denny’s has her own grind.

If you like the beach or mountains, great. But some posters on this thread need some perspective.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don't actually have to move to leave the rat race. There's plenty of middle class people in the DC area who live normal lives.

Op here. The problem is that we aren’t middle class and pretending that we are is both unrealistic and just dishonest to everybody involved.

“Pretending” you’re middle class???
Wow, OP. You sound insufferable. Stay in DC.

What's your criticism here exactly?

There are lots of really wealthy people in dc who are quiet about it and just plugging along - not really in the rat race and doing jobs that they enjoy. Teaching, non profit, social work, etc. I think some of this is your attitude and it’s not going to be any different anywhere else.

Not OP here, but I'm guessing OP doesn't work in these traditionally low paying jobs and that's part of the reason why it doesn't make sense to pretend like they're middle class. Maybe they have high paying careers that they like and don't want to switch careers either. I don't think the trick here is to change your job to something that doesn't pay anything. Most of us have worked our entire life to be where we are career wise and there's no sense in giving it up just to cosplay being poor.

FWIW, I get really annoyed when rich people pretend like they're struggling like the rest of us because they're an ~artist~ when everything is actually just funded by family money. And I find it hilarious that some posters feel better being fooled by someone's masking than to know the truth of someone's financial well being.

+1 A lot of artists have family money and/or are married to high earning spouses. It's irritating when they pretend to have the same struggles as the starving artists supporting themselves solely on the earnings from their profession.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is the “rat race”?
Can you explain?
I work but I’m not in a rat race.

Uptight people whose life revolves around work and power and one-upping each other
Awful traffic
Lack of good outdoor recreation (sorry, Rock Creek and Whitetail Resort don't cut it)

DC is the quintessential rat race city -- people come here for job opportunities and for political power, and they tend to be competitive. Of course there are exceptions but it is the defining trait of this area. Everyone thinks that they and their friends are not like that, but mostly they are.

I consider the rat race to be - racing to work, racing kids to school and activities, racing to make dinner. I have to wake up and just start hurrying right away. I’m not racing to the top - racing to survive in this area.

We often think of moving. Cash out and live mortgage free somewhere. But there isn’t a reason those places have lower housing costs. There is nothing there.

My in laws live in a lovely historic small town. But there is not much there - no movie theater for example.They know everyone and were teachers - and literally know generations of families.

I think about it - yes, it would be a slower pace - but I think too slow! We were there this weekend - nothing open Sunday night for dinner except a Bob Evan’s.

Surely you understand that there hundreds if not thousands of cities/towns between DC and “only restaurant in town is Bob Evan’s”?

OP I have a similar desire, however I have a target medium size city. Unfortunately it’s not going to happen. OP I think you are at risk of being unhappy if you aren’t sure where you are looking to move.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Olney/Brookeville has wealthy families without the rat race.

I’m the poster who left and always thinks about coming back and Olney/Brookeville is exactly where I keep getting drawn to. Can you tell me more about the vibe there?

It has the wealth of Potomac/Bethesda/CC without the striver element.

It’s a mix of UMC to affluent families with very little (hardly any, really) low income housing.

No metro, so minimal issues with riff raff.

Plenty of UMC families still use public schools. Others use the local privates or schlep down county or into DC for private (mostly legacies).

Lots of second or third generation locals who love the old school, small town way of life.

Diverse racially/ethnically but not socioeconomically. (Again: no real low income housing; few rentals).

Sports are big. Some kids ride horses.

Lots of families with beach houses and money, but you rarely see designer or showy accessories.

I think a lot of MoCo locals strategically moved out here to avoid the rat race and the pressure it imposes on all facets of life. And some moved out here because they no longer recognize parts of down county that have changed too much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don't actually have to move to leave the rat race. There's plenty of middle class people in the DC area who live normal lives.

Op here. The problem is that we aren’t middle class and pretending that we are is both unrealistic and just dishonest to everybody involved.

OP, saving more of your income isn’t dishonest. That’s a weird view.

It’s also not unrealistic. You can get your expenses in check even living here. Start with food. If you are even considering changing to a lower paying job or early retirement, you need to figure out how to control your expenses first. Even many very rich people who don’t control their expenses run out of money when they don’t have work to occupy them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes- we did this coming out of the pandemic. From a wealthy close-in DC sunburn neighborhood to a beach town small-town life 3 years ago. Not a day goes by when we don’t wonder if we made the right decision. We miss culture, opportunities other than sports for our kids and do not fit in with the Tattoed drinking culture here. Is it more relaxing- yes- but feel like we swung the pendulum too far. Our kids are happy—- top of their classes, recognized for accomplishments that would be just matter-of-fact in DC. Not sure where the grass is greener.

Where did you move? This is exactly what we were thinking.

PP here--- we moved to Lewes, DE--- not completely "beach town" because things don't shut down off-season--- much more "small town" vibe. Lots of wonderful things but not used to "small town" way of life--- things are really different than DVM area. While we love the friendly people, ease of outdoor activities, less scheduled kids just being kids (think pick-up soccer games, whiffle ball games) and the fact our "average kids" feel successful and acknowledged, schools are not as challenging and exposure to culture and worldly events is a no-go. We do travel with our kids and talk about current events but that is not something their peers are doing. We don't fish, surf or day-drink so we don't fit in with locals (nor do we want to, but finding "our people" is a challenge) Things are run like 1980's in a lot of ways--- paper invitations for birthday parties--- parties are just a bunch of kids in a backyard with some water balloons and cupcakes, no school directories, and teachers give you their cell phone numbers....totally different vibe! Not sure the grass is greener but taking it one year at a time.

That is a huge difference. After spending a weekend in Lewes, I loved it but cannot imagine it full time. I also dream of leaving the rat race, but need an international airport nearby, cultural opportunities, and many things to do. Which is why I have not yet left - where does this exist?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes- we did this coming out of the pandemic. From a wealthy close-in DC sunburn neighborhood to a beach town small-town life 3 years ago. Not a day goes by when we don’t wonder if we made the right decision. We miss culture, opportunities other than sports for our kids and do not fit in with the Tattoed drinking culture here. Is it more relaxing- yes- but feel like we swung the pendulum too far. Our kids are happy—- top of their classes, recognized for accomplishments that would be just matter-of-fact in DC. Not sure where the grass is greener.

Where did you move? This is exactly what we were thinking.

PP here--- we moved to Lewes, DE--- not completely "beach town" because things don't shut down off-season--- much more "small town" vibe. Lots of wonderful things but not used to "small town" way of life--- things are really different than DVM area. While we love the friendly people, ease of outdoor activities, less scheduled kids just being kids (think pick-up soccer games, whiffle ball games) and the fact our "average kids" feel successful and acknowledged, schools are not as challenging and exposure to culture and worldly events is a no-go. We do travel with our kids and talk about current events but that is not something their peers are doing. We don't fish, surf or day-drink so we don't fit in with locals (nor do we want to, but finding "our people" is a challenge) Things are run like 1980's in a lot of ways--- paper invitations for birthday parties--- parties are just a bunch of kids in a backyard with some water balloons and cupcakes, no school directories, and teachers give you their cell phone numbers....totally different vibe! Not sure the grass is greener but taking it one year at a time.

That is a huge difference. After spending a weekend in Lewes, I loved it but cannot imagine it full time. I also dream of leaving the rat race, but need an international airport nearby, cultural opportunities, and many things to do. Which is why I have not yet left - where does this exist?

Again I don’t really know what “rat race” is but we live well below our means and are not really busy or competitive right here in the DMV.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Olney/Brookeville has wealthy families without the rat race.

I’m the poster who left and always thinks about coming back and Olney/Brookeville is exactly where I keep getting drawn to. Can you tell me more about the vibe there?

It has the wealth of Potomac/Bethesda/CC without the striver element.

It’s a mix of UMC to affluent families with very little (hardly any, really) low income housing.

No metro, so minimal issues with riff raff.

Plenty of UMC families still use public schools. Others use the local privates or schlep down county or into DC for private (mostly legacies).

Lots of second or third generation locals who love the old school, small town way of life.

Diverse racially/ethnically but not socioeconomically. (Again: no real low income housing; few rentals).

Sports are big. Some kids ride horses.

Lots of families with beach houses and money, but you rarely see designer or showy accessories.

I think a lot of MoCo locals strategically moved out here to avoid the rat race and the pressure it imposes on all facets of life. And some moved out here because they no longer recognize parts of down county that have changed too much.

I guess I’m just driving past the wrong part of Olney/Brookville because all I ever see is strip malls and subdivisions with big lots and questionable architecture.

[Anonymous]

How about buying a second home as a getaway? A place to decompress from DC, but you still have access to things are still clearly important to you.

[Anonymous]

I love Olney/Brookeville (houses by Gold Min rd) but they’re too far from my work in downtown DC. Maybe in another life

[Anonymous]

Many educated rich people live distinctly relaxed and non-competitive (relative to dc) lives in Denver, since outdoor recreation is so valued.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Olney/Brookeville has wealthy families without the rat race.

I’m the poster who left and always thinks about coming back and Olney/Brookeville is exactly where I keep getting drawn to. Can you tell me more about the vibe there?

It has the wealth of Potomac/Bethesda/CC without the striver element.

It’s a mix of UMC to affluent families with very little (hardly any, really) low income housing.

No metro, so minimal issues with riff raff.

Plenty of UMC families still use public schools. Others use the local privates or schlep down county or into DC for private (mostly legacies).

Lots of second or third generation locals who love the old school, small town way of life.

Diverse racially/ethnically but not socioeconomically. (Again: no real low income housing; few rentals).

Sports are big. Some kids ride horses.

Lots of families with beach houses and money, but you rarely see designer or showy accessories.

I think a lot of MoCo locals strategically moved out here to avoid the rat race and the pressure it imposes on all facets of life. And some moved out here because they no longer recognize parts of down county that have changed too much.

I guess I’m just driving past the wrong part of Olney/Brookville because all I ever see is strip malls and subdivisions with big lots and questionable architecture.

You probably haven’t seen the homes north of $1M on big lots.

But the point of the thread is where are the affluent, well educated people raising kids when they don’t want to keep up with Joneses? And many of us are in Olney/Brookeville.

We have money, but we aren’t flashy.

We want our kids to be well rounded, not stressed out.

We don’t want to work a million hours a week.

We want to know our neighbors and carpool and hang out.

There’s a reason why we have multiple beer farms out here. We are still having field parties and listening to live music even though we are old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love Olney/Brookeville (houses by Gold Min rd) but they’re too far from my work in downtown DC. Maybe in another life

If you commute super early or late, the drive isn’t too bad.

[Anonymous]

Yes, we moved to a small town in NE. No one would have any idea how much money we actually have. Our town is a pretty good mix of MC and UMC so we kind of blend in with the UMC aspect but our friends are from all income levels. We are very happy with our laid back life.

[Anonymous]

Many people in Park City, Utah, had early exits and are living a simpler life now. Drop off kids at school, ski all winter, and mountain bike all summer. Public schools are fine (25 AP classes at the public high school), or there are a couple of good private high schools in SLC that bus kids from Park City. You'd be in good company and happy if you love the outdoors. Culturally and demographically, Park City is unlike the rest of Utah.