I’ve created a monster. Can I nip this in the bud?

[Anonymous]

OP, do you want HER to be able to set boundaries for herself, in her life? Be an example.

Want to be a wimp, not speak your mind. Not be able to say, no ... go ahead and keep doing what you're doing.

[Anonymous]

"
Can you choose a meeting place a few blocks from schools to miss a few lights and the pick up line. I did this with my kid in elementary
school. I dropped her a block from school and it saved me about 30 mins from the line."

It sounds like that would be about the same distance as this kid just walking to her own front door.

[Anonymous]

Wow. Pick up your kid, OP.

[Anonymous]

We're in a similar situation with my son. If it works for me, I will pick him up, if it doesn't, I just respond, "sorry that does not work for me." Why are you not responding at all, unless you are on a work teams/zoom or otherwise tied up?

[Anonymous]

Schools have expanded walk zones because of the bus driver shortage and reducing costs, so likely your DD is walking a fairly long walk far beyond what used to be reasonable.

The climate here is hardly “nice walk” for most of the year — we have two days of spring and fall, then long stretches of dark cold or humid hot. With books and tablets and lunch it’s a bit of misery after a long school day. I suspect there are no friends to walk with home — everyone is picking up their kid, see the long carline.

It sounds like you are home, don’t work (I’m 100% sure that would have been in your OP), so this is just laziness on your part (oh the stoplights!). Get over it and be a parent, that’s the P in SAHP, not pharaoh lying around being fed grapes.

Some ideas.

1) most middle schools have after school clubs and sports, so have her take part in some of those — there is often a late bus so it might even go near your home and they don’t check boundaries usually.

2) hang out at school or a coffee shop or library . Late bus or pickup when you have time or are picking up other kids, finish your crossword or whatever you do all day.

3). Pp mentioned having her walk somewhere and meet you. Alternatively you can go and park, and walk the meet her and you both get some exercise, and saved you the cost of that days Pilates class.

4) no bikes or scooters — car line, people rushing home, it’s a game of real life frogger and she needs to be safe

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Its laughable to me that its such an "ordeal" and "Not easy by any means" for you to hop in the car and drive 1.5 miles (or whatever) to the school but your daughter can't complain or ask for rides walking home after a full day of middle school (exhausting) carrying a heavy bag (we never had to haul laptops around), with period cramps, etc.

You sound like a low effort kind of parent.

Right? And the kid isn’t allowed to get upset when her lazy mother can’t even respond to her texts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:fwiw, our child, 12, walks nearly a mile to and from school every day. Only exceptions are torrential downpours and below 30 degrees. She manages fine. I WFH and either start my day around 730am or I make myself busy with household chores (laundry, water plants, choose to walk the dog) around 730am so as to thwart any potential whining or complaining. Occasionally we might make an exception but she appreciates it then -- as opposed to expects it. She has met kids in other grades this way and has devised a few routes depending on which kids are walking. Overall, she enjoys the independence. YMMV.

Why wouldn't you drive your kid?

Lazy. Sitting at home when lots of parents are taking their kids to school THEN commuting to work.

[Anonymous]

With the bus stop being that close i would call the school and absolutely insist on bus transportation, Don't take no for an answer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Its laughable to me that its such an "ordeal" and "Not easy by any means" for you to hop in the car and drive 1.5 miles (or whatever) to the school but your daughter can't complain or ask for rides walking home after a full day of middle school (exhausting) carrying a heavy bag (we never had to haul laptops around), with period cramps, etc.

You sound like a low effort kind of parent.

Right? And the kid isn’t allowed to get upset when her lazy mother can’t even respond to her texts.

+2

[Anonymous]

I can't believe so many people are saying op should drive. Glad I'm not out in the 'burbs.

[Anonymous]

Wow. Imagine being a teen girl after a long day, on your period, with cramps and the attendant GI issues, having to lug home heavy bags in the heat and your witch of a mother won't even answer your texts and then gets mad at you for being in a bad mood, because she thinks sitting at a light is an ordeal. What a nasty, nasty mother.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow. Imagine being a teen girl after a long day, on your period, with cramps and the attendant GI issues, having to lug home heavy bags in the heat and your witch of a mother won't even answer your texts and then gets mad at you for being in a bad mood, because she thinks sitting at a light is an ordeal. What a nasty, nasty mother.

And you just know that OP is the type to make her kid go to school despite cramps or feeling unwell.

[Anonymous]

It’s absurd for you to pick her up given the circumstances. The exercise is good for her. Pick her up or drive her only if it is dark or below thirty five degrees.

Respond to her text by saying “No. You are capable of walking, that is better for the einvironment, and I have work to do.”

I don’t get all these parents telling you to waste gas and your time to pick her up when she could walk faster!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:fwiw, our child, 12, walks nearly a mile to and from school every day. Only exceptions are torrential downpours and below 30 degrees. She manages fine. I WFH and either start my day around 730am or I make myself busy with household chores (laundry, water plants, choose to walk the dog) around 730am so as to thwart any potential whining or complaining. Occasionally we might make an exception but she appreciates it then -- as opposed to expects it. She has met kids in other grades this way and has devised a few routes depending on which kids are walking. Overall, she enjoys the independence. YMMV.

Why wouldn't you drive your kid?

Lazy. Sitting at home when lots of parents are taking their kids to school THEN commuting to work.

And creating more traffic and burning more fossil fuels. Way to go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:most parents drive their kids to school through high school

OP here. I think this is part of the problem, too. I do drive her in the AM. In the winter it was SO DARK and she has to traverse a really dangerous intersection where kids have been hit on more than one occasion. I think this is the problem. She just assumes I don’t mind doing it.

I think the problem is you drive sometimes. I remember when my son was small reading some study that said if you give in randomly to a “I want this” it makes the child beg more. I think you need to be clear - you are not picking her up - and if you have exceptions, say what those are (thunder storms, Fridays, whatever). And just ignore the texts. If they really bother you, tell her if she keeps it up that your are not picking her up in the winter next year.