I’ve created a monster. Can I nip this in the bud?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:most parents drive their kids to school through high school

OP here. I think this is part of the problem, too. I do drive her in the AM. In the winter it was SO DARK and she has to traverse a really dangerous intersection where kids have been hit on more than one occasion. I think this is the problem. She just assumes I don’t mind doing it.

So, have you had a conversation with her about it? Not when she gets home, but a general "resetting expectations" conversation? or did you just stop picking her up?

I would talk to her. If you have flexibility, I like the idea someone posted about "1 ride per week" or whatever so she can decide when to use it. (I did something similar for my son who kept wanting me to bring him takeout at school "as a treat"...but for him I told him I would do it twice a semester.) If you are not flexible, but could conceivable get her some days, look at your calendar on Sunday and tell her what day she can expect you to pick her up the following week. If you just never ever want to pick her up again, tell her that.

Treat the bad attitude and sass when she gets home like you normally treat it. And have consequences for nonemergency texts that interrupt your work day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:most parents drive their kids to school through high school

I was rarely driven to school by my parents at all. And I never drove my kids since I raised them in a city with mass transit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Long story short, we live literally across the street from the cutoff for bussing to our middle school. It’s a trek, but doable in the warmer months. Over the winter, especially on dreary days, I made it a habit of picking her up from school. It’s an ordeal and not easy by any means. It involves inevitably getting stuck at a light for a few cycles, waiting in line, etc. She could walk faster. But I digress.

Now that it’s warmer, she’s been walking, but she hates it. She will text me, “Mom! Mom! I’m so hot/I’m so cold/I got my period/I have to poop/etc etc, please pick me up!” I don’t, I don’t even respond, but I’m tired of the texts and then the attitude once she gets home.

Just ignore? Implement a punishment for annoyance and grouchiness? Is it summer yet?

If you are able to pick up why not? I mean if you are working sure you can't but, I used to pick up my dd because middle school sucks and it is nice to have your mom pick you up.

[Anonymous]

If you are close enough to be in the walk zone for middle school, it can't be that much of a hassle to pick her up. Park on a side street a block from teh school if you don't want to do the car line.

[Anonymous]

Why can’t she bike to school? That would be my solution.

[Anonymous]

Its laughable to me that its such an "ordeal" and "Not easy by any means" for you to hop in the car and drive 1.5 miles (or whatever) to the school but your daughter can't complain or ask for rides walking home after a full day of middle school (exhausting) carrying a heavy bag (we never had to haul laptops around), with period cramps, etc.

You sound like a low effort kind of parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why can’t she bike to school? That would be my solution.

In this area? Not very safe!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:most parents drive their kids to school through high school

I was rarely driven to school by my parents at all. And I never drove my kids since I raised them in a city with mass transit.

You had to walk uphill to school both ways, right?

[Anonymous]

Can you choose a meeting place a few blocks from schools to miss a few lights and the pick up line. I did this with my kid in elementary
school. I dropped her a block from school and it saved me about 30 mins from the line.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP mentioned walking with her, I love this idea. Even meet her halfway, you can take some of her stuff and you can catch up on your days together while you head home.

This.

[Anonymous]

Why did you have kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Its laughable to me that its such an "ordeal" and "Not easy by any means" for you to hop in the car and drive 1.5 miles (or whatever) to the school but your daughter can't complain or ask for rides walking home after a full day of middle school (exhausting) carrying a heavy bag (we never had to haul laptops around), with period cramps, etc.

You sound like a low effort kind of parent.

This. If you truly can't do it that's different, but it doesn't sound like that is the case.

[Anonymous]

fwiw, our child, 12, walks nearly a mile to and from school every day. Only exceptions are torrential downpours and below 30 degrees. She manages fine. I WFH and either start my day around 730am or I make myself busy with household chores (laundry, water plants, choose to walk the dog) around 730am so as to thwart any potential whining or complaining. Occasionally we might make an exception but she appreciates it then -- as opposed to expects it. She has met kids in other grades this way and has devised a few routes depending on which kids are walking. Overall, she enjoys the independence. YMMV.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:most parents drive their kids to school through high school

OP here. I think this is part of the problem, too. I do drive her in the AM. In the winter it was SO DARK and she has to traverse a really dangerous intersection where kids have been hit on more than one occasion. I think this is the problem. She just assumes I don’t mind doing it.

We drive ours. Of course we mind but its part of parenting and spending time with them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:fwiw, our child, 12, walks nearly a mile to and from school every day. Only exceptions are torrential downpours and below 30 degrees. She manages fine. I WFH and either start my day around 730am or I make myself busy with household chores (laundry, water plants, choose to walk the dog) around 730am so as to thwart any potential whining or complaining. Occasionally we might make an exception but she appreciates it then -- as opposed to expects it. She has met kids in other grades this way and has devised a few routes depending on which kids are walking. Overall, she enjoys the independence. YMMV.

Why wouldn't you drive your kid?