Parents – please tell your teens to stop talking about their mental health when applying for jobs!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Times have changed. I do some interviewing of recent college grads for our org and a significant percentage of them mention being in therapy.

I'd be glad that they were upfront about this, so I'd know not to hire them. I don't want mentally unstable people working for me! Also, I would not want to deal with them missing work for therapy.

This is where we’ve failed. So many “mentally unstable” people walking around who refuse to consider therapy. Mental health is a spectrum. Being in therapy has no bearing on where a person falls at that moment in time.

I think this is the issue. There is nothing wrong with going to therapy. But, do they really need therapy? Or, do they need to get over themselves and go for a run or something.

There are many legitimate reasons to get therapy. Or, it’s all good to go if you just want to go.

This focus on therapy and leaning into your feelings at all times is overkill.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My spouse is a high school teacher and this happens regularly:

- Kid who rarely comes to class decides to show up.
- Kid sits in the back of the classroom and starts watching tiktok with no headphones, so it’s loud and distracting
- Teacher tells kid to put on headphones
- Kid refuses
-Teacher tells kid to put on headphones again
- Kid refuses again, and yells at teacher
- Teacher tells kid to leave
- Kid leaves
- 30 minutes later, kid shows up with a guidance counselor, who requests a meeting outside in the hallway with the teacher + kid. During class.
- Teacher sighs and tells them that there’s a class going on right now. Teacher is trying to teach.
- Guidance counselor ridiculously insists on a hallway meeting.
- Teacher steps outside, kid is crying because teacher is picking on the kid, blah blah blah

When all is said and done, in best cases the kid transfers to a new class to avoid the mean bad teacher. In worst cases, the kid pulls this crap daily.

DP who’s a teacher and this is pretty accurate. For me, it’s not the kid who rarely shows. They do show up and do this and then the meetings happen because the teacher is bullying them, toxic or triggering something. Then after the disruptive meeting happens, usually during a class, an accommodation is written where the kid may listen to music (or do whatever behavior) as they like whenever they want. They may or may not have a 504/IEP or nothing and it’s just emailed that they are allowed for mental health reasons. This really needs to stop.

[Anonymous]

There is a millennial I know who posts regular updates on social media re flatulence, IBS and his vasectomy!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is a millennial I know who posts regular updates on social media re flatulence, IBS and his vasectomy!!!

So , a 40 year old?

This thread is about teenagers

[Anonymous]

Thanks for the heads up, OP.

As a former unit head, I'm very aware that at least 25% of the job is helping the young adults figure out how to step into the "employee" role, particularly if it's sort of the camp where young people grow up attending, and then come back as CITs and counselors.

Honestly, it's not a job that is going to work well for someone looking for a ton of accommodations. It's usually at least 6 days on, 1 off. It's common for sleep and meals to be disrupted, and for the counselors to need to subjugate their own physical needs if something is going in with the kids in their care.

[Anonymous]

Working with and being responsible for kids isn’t easy. You DO need to have the ability to regulate your own emotions and remain calm and level headed and rational with kids. If these teenagers are bringing up their mental health struggles in the INTERVIEW, they likely don’t need to be working with kids this closely right now. There’s an elective class at my school that kids can join that involves working with and mentoring elementary kids. They have to give the names of teachers and redefences and several times kids have referred me who I have to very honestly say are unreliable and not stable enough to be trusted to work with little kids. Their mental health and fixation on their mental health barely had them functional in a regular class let alone working with little kids! No offense to them, I wish them well, but I don’t recommend them in those cases. So, these kids may not be good fit for working at a camp either.

[Anonymous]

Then after the disruptive meeting happens, usually during a class, an accommodation is written where the kid may listen to music (or do whatever behavior) as they like whenever they want.

You’ve got to be kidding me. A kid can get a special accommodation to listen to music (or watch videos??) in a class with other kids with no headphones? How is this fair to the other students or the teacher?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Kids who are trying to get jobs basically taking care of younger kids at a sleep-away camp are telling you their mental health limitations and need of accommodations? No way would I hire someone who needs to be taken care of to take care of other kids.

Which is illegal. So - that's probably why you're not someone who does hiring.

[Anonymous]

It's funny because so many adults are on fat medication or depressive medication.

Perhaps, as a hiring official for a large agency I shouldn't hire overweight adults (I mean, if they can't control themselves eating - what will they do in the office)? Or people with heat issues (I mean, what if they die in the office)?

I'm so glad I saw this post, moving forward I won't hire anyone that isn't 25-35, perfectly healthy, and not on medication.

Thanks internet!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For many kids, their mental health issues (usually self-diagnosed) are their whole identity.

I think there is sadly some truth to this.

Mental health status sharing these days is almost like stating name, pronouns, gender, etc.

I hang in pretty progressive circles and people tend to begin sentences like "as a queer, non-binary, neuro-divergent poly member of a historically marginalized group who suffers from ADHD, BPD and suicidal ideation, I feel that..."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's funny because so many adults are on fat medication or depressive medication.

Perhaps, as a hiring official for a large agency I shouldn't hire overweight adults (I mean, if they can't control themselves eating - what will they do in the office)? Or people with heat issues (I mean, what if they die in the office)?

I'm so glad I saw this post, moving forward I won't hire anyone that isn't 25-35, perfectly healthy, and not on medication.

Thanks internet!

Way to misread the entire thread. As if you’re in a position to hire anyone anyway.

[Anonymous]

I'm not usually on board with 'kids these days' type posts, but I agree with OP on this one.

I have raised teenagers (and have a tween still) and I've had many discussions about using/having what I call a 'game face' in the working world. I tell them that you need to keep your personal stuff private out there and put on your game face, and save the personal stuff for home/online. All the boss needs to know is, yes I can do the job.

It's not wrong to explain this to young people. It's explaining to them that there is a time and place for personal stuff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Then after the disruptive meeting happens, usually during a class, an accommodation is written where the kid may listen to music (or do whatever behavior) as they like whenever they want.

You’ve got to be kidding me. A kid can get a special accommodation to listen to music (or watch videos??) in a class with other kids with no headphones? How is this fair to the other students or the teacher?

I used that as an example based on the other teachers story. I wouldn’t be surprised. In one class this year, I have a student with an accommodation to be allowed to eat food whenever they want and another that has an accommodation that no one can eat in the class because they are bothered by people eating. I’m told I have to follow all accommodations. So I allow the eating kids to step outside and they frequently miss the entire class. When I check, they tell me they aren’t done eating yet or are gone and later say they went to eat in a different part of the school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kids who are trying to get jobs basically taking care of younger kids at a sleep-away camp are telling you their mental health limitations and need of accommodations? No way would I hire someone who needs to be taken care of to take care of other kids.

Which is illegal. So - that's probably why you're not someone who does hiring.

You need to stop with the "this is illegal" postings. If you don't want to hire someone, you aren't putting something damning in writing about why you didn't hire them.

You will write down perfectly legitimate reasons to pass over an interviewee.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kids who are trying to get jobs basically taking care of younger kids at a sleep-away camp are telling you their mental health limitations and need of accommodations? No way would I hire someone who needs to be taken care of to take care of other kids.

Which is illegal. So - that's probably why you're not someone who does hiring.

Well I hope you don’t do any hiring if you think it’s perfectly ok to put mentally ill teens in charge of little kids.