Go to the school that wants you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone else love this?

My DD received some pretty good merit money from 2 schools but was waitlisted at another that was near the top of her list. The waitlist school required supplemental materials, but when my DD saw that she was like “forget that! I don’t want to go there that badly!”

I was like this too when I was applying (ages ago), and I’m glad my DD felt that way that on her own, rather than start writing letters of interest and sending supplemental info, and then still have the chance to be rejected. Seems like you’re begging a school to take you, when they don’t seem terribly interested.

I guess the question is this a school that anyone that has criteria of X receives Y, or is this an individualized award of merit?

If the latter...completely agree with you. If the former, I guess just understand that this is the school's business model...high rack-rate and merit for everybody.

If a school has criteria for merit (your X receives Y example), how is that merit for everyone? Presumably not everyone applying to that school has the GPA or test score merit cut off.

Meaning, everyone that achieves X gets Y. There is nothing individual about it. Also, there is little mystery regarding acceptance if you have the minimum stats for merit.

Put another way, you can go to Niche Direct Admit and input your stats and there will be a number of schools with automatic acceptance and the merit they will give you.

Yup. It’s an algorithm nothing individual about it. But hey if it helps OP’s sour grapes to say it this way, that’s fine.

Ooooh this is OP - I’m interested in exactly what sour grapes I possess!

I just looked up the criteria for my DD’s merit, and it says it’s based on “academic achievement and excellence beyond the classroom.” Awards
Range from 5-15k. My daughter got 15k.
Is this an individualized award or an algorithm? (I’m guessing I already know your answer)

Oh don’t be so triggered and defensive. The award was based on an algorithm that said if we give her X, she will likely bite. Guess what it worked, You’re biting. Congrats on the discounted tuition. A year from now it won’t matter that she couldn’t get into the higher ranked school.

So basically you’re going to say anything to convince yourself that I have sour grapes. I’m still not sure about what, exactly, but sure. I’m super bitter about my daughter’s merit award. Like SUPER BITTER.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone else love this?

My DD received some pretty good merit money from 2 schools but was waitlisted at another that was near the top of her list. The waitlist school required supplemental materials, but when my DD saw that she was like “forget that! I don’t want to go there that badly!”

I was like this too when I was applying (ages ago), and I’m glad my DD felt that way that on her own, rather than start writing letters of interest and sending supplemental info, and then still have the chance to be rejected. Seems like you’re begging a school to take you, when they don’t seem terribly interested.

I guess the question is this a school that anyone that has criteria of X receives Y, or is this an individualized award of merit?

If the latter...completely agree with you. If the former, I guess just understand that this is the school's business model...high rack-rate and merit for everybody.

If a school has criteria for merit (your X receives Y example), how is that merit for everyone? Presumably not everyone applying to that school has the GPA or test score merit cut off.

Meaning, everyone that achieves X gets Y. There is nothing individual about it. Also, there is little mystery regarding acceptance if you have the minimum stats for merit.

Put another way, you can go to Niche Direct Admit and input your stats and there will be a number of schools with automatic acceptance and the merit they will give you.

Yup. It’s an algorithm nothing individual about it. But hey if it helps OP’s sour grapes to say it this way, that’s fine.

Ooooh this is OP - I’m interested in exactly what sour grapes I possess!

I just looked up the criteria for my DD’s merit, and it says it’s based on “academic achievement and excellence beyond the classroom.” Awards
Range from 5-15k. My daughter got 15k.
Is this an individualized award or an algorithm? (I’m guessing I already know your answer)

Oh don’t be so triggered and defensive. The award was based on an algorithm that said if we give her X, she will likely bite. Guess what it worked, You’re biting. Congrats on the discounted tuition. A year from now it won’t matter that she couldn’t get into the higher ranked school.

So basically you’re going to say anything to convince yourself that I have sour grapes. I’m still not sure about what, exactly, but sure. I’m super bitter about my daughter’s merit award. Like SUPER BITTER.

I’m not trying to convince myself of anything bc IDRC about you. But you’re trying to convince yourself that you don’t want the other school except your insecurity is showing in your post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone else love this?

My DD received some pretty good merit money from 2 schools but was waitlisted at another that was near the top of her list. The waitlist school required supplemental materials, but when my DD saw that she was like “forget that! I don’t want to go there that badly!”

I was like this too when I was applying (ages ago), and I’m glad my DD felt that way that on her own, rather than start writing letters of interest and sending supplemental info, and then still have the chance to be rejected. Seems like you’re begging a school to take you, when they don’t seem terribly interested.

I guess the question is this a school that anyone that has criteria of X receives Y, or is this an individualized award of merit?

If the latter...completely agree with you. If the former, I guess just understand that this is the school's business model...high rack-rate and merit for everybody.

If a school has criteria for merit (your X receives Y example), how is that merit for everyone? Presumably not everyone applying to that school has the GPA or test score merit cut off.

Meaning, everyone that achieves X gets Y. There is nothing individual about it. Also, there is little mystery regarding acceptance if you have the minimum stats for merit.

Put another way, you can go to Niche Direct Admit and input your stats and there will be a number of schools with automatic acceptance and the merit they will give you.

Yup. It’s an algorithm nothing individual about it. But hey if it helps OP’s sour grapes to say it this way, that’s fine.

Ooooh this is OP - I’m interested in exactly what sour grapes I possess!

I just looked up the criteria for my DD’s merit, and it says it’s based on “academic achievement and excellence beyond the classroom.” Awards
Range from 5-15k. My daughter got 15k.
Is this an individualized award or an algorithm? (I’m guessing I already know your answer)

Oh don’t be so triggered and defensive. The award was based on an algorithm that said if we give her X, she will likely bite. Guess what it worked, You’re biting. Congrats on the discounted tuition. A year from now it won’t matter that she couldn’t get into the higher ranked school.

So basically you’re going to say anything to convince yourself that I have sour grapes. I’m still not sure about what, exactly, but sure. I’m super bitter about my daughter’s merit award. Like SUPER BITTER.

I’m not trying to convince myself of anything bc IDRC about you. But you’re trying to convince yourself that you don’t want the other school except your insecurity is showing in your post.

I din’t want her applying to the other school in the first place! I thought it was too heavy in Greek life and not a great location. It’s only ranked ever so slightly higher than the school I prefer- the one school is ranked say 57th and the other is 62nd - a negligible difference (if any). The school ranked 62nd has been my favorite from the start (although the other school that gave her merit is also totally fine by me). So I’m still trying to figure out what I’m insecure about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Anyone else love this?

My DD received some pretty good merit money from 2 schools but was waitlisted at another that was near the top of her list. The waitlist school required supplemental materials, but when my DD saw that she was like “forget that! I don’t want to go there that badly!”

I was like this too when I was applying (ages ago), and I’m glad my DD felt that way that on her own, rather than start writing letters of interest and sending supplemental info, and then still have the chance to be rejected. Seems like you’re begging a school to take you, when they don’t seem terribly interested.

I guess, but your perspective is very me-centric. With any college, it's about building a class, not being "wanted." Perspective just feels slightly off to me. If more info might help the college better determine if the student is the best addition, great. If student is now more excited about another school or out of steam? Fine. But, it's not some unrequited love or jilted lover relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone else love this?

My DD received some pretty good merit money from 2 schools but was waitlisted at another that was near the top of her list. The waitlist school required supplemental materials, but when my DD saw that she was like “forget that! I don’t want to go there that badly!”

I was like this too when I was applying (ages ago), and I’m glad my DD felt that way that on her own, rather than start writing letters of interest and sending supplemental info, and then still have the chance to be rejected. Seems like you’re begging a school to take you, when they don’t seem terribly interested.

I guess the question is this a school that anyone that has criteria of X receives Y, or is this an individualized award of merit?

If the latter...completely agree with you. If the former, I guess just understand that this is the school's business model...high rack-rate and merit for everybody.

If a school has criteria for merit (your X receives Y example), how is that merit for everyone? Presumably not everyone applying to that school has the GPA or test score merit cut off.

Meaning, everyone that achieves X gets Y. There is nothing individual about it. Also, there is little mystery regarding acceptance if you have the minimum stats for merit.

Put another way, you can go to Niche Direct Admit and input your stats and there will be a number of schools with automatic acceptance and the merit they will give you.

Yup. It’s an algorithm nothing individual about it. But hey if it helps OP’s sour grapes to say it this way, that’s fine.

Ooooh this is OP - I’m interested in exactly what sour grapes I possess!

I just looked up the criteria for my DD’s merit, and it says it’s based on “academic achievement and excellence beyond the classroom.” Awards
Range from 5-15k. My daughter got 15k.
Is this an individualized award or an algorithm? (I’m guessing I already know your answer)

Oh don’t be so triggered and defensive. The award was based on an algorithm that said if we give her X, she will likely bite. Guess what it worked, You’re biting. Congrats on the discounted tuition. A year from now it won’t matter that she couldn’t get into the higher ranked school.

So basically you’re going to say anything to convince yourself that I have sour grapes. I’m still not sure about what, exactly, but sure. I’m super bitter about my daughter’s merit award. Like SUPER BITTER.

I’m not trying to convince myself of anything bc IDRC about you. But you’re trying to convince yourself that you don’t want the other school except your insecurity is showing in your post.

I din’t want her applying to the other school in the first place! I thought it was too heavy in Greek life and not a great location. It’s only ranked ever so slightly higher than the school I prefer- the one school is ranked say 57th and the other is 62nd - a negligible difference (if any). The school ranked 62nd has been my favorite from the start (although the other school that gave her merit is also totally fine by me). So I’m still trying to figure out what I’m insecure about.

Syracuse is #62 and if you think they're not heavy in Greek life, you're in for a big surprise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone else love this?

My DD received some pretty good merit money from 2 schools but was waitlisted at another that was near the top of her list. The waitlist school required supplemental materials, but when my DD saw that she was like “forget that! I don’t want to go there that badly!”

I was like this too when I was applying (ages ago), and I’m glad my DD felt that way that on her own, rather than start writing letters of interest and sending supplemental info, and then still have the chance to be rejected. Seems like you’re begging a school to take you, when they don’t seem terribly interested.

I guess the question is this a school that anyone that has criteria of X receives Y, or is this an individualized award of merit?

If the latter...completely agree with you. If the former, I guess just understand that this is the school's business model...high rack-rate and merit for everybody.

If a school has criteria for merit (your X receives Y example), how is that merit for everyone? Presumably not everyone applying to that school has the GPA or test score merit cut off.

Meaning, everyone that achieves X gets Y. There is nothing individual about it. Also, there is little mystery regarding acceptance if you have the minimum stats for merit.

Put another way, you can go to Niche Direct Admit and input your stats and there will be a number of schools with automatic acceptance and the merit they will give you.

Yup. It’s an algorithm nothing individual about it. But hey if it helps OP’s sour grapes to say it this way, that’s fine.

Ooooh this is OP - I’m interested in exactly what sour grapes I possess!

I just looked up the criteria for my DD’s merit, and it says it’s based on “academic achievement and excellence beyond the classroom.” Awards
Range from 5-15k. My daughter got 15k.
Is this an individualized award or an algorithm? (I’m guessing I already know your answer)

Oh don’t be so triggered and defensive. The award was based on an algorithm that said if we give her X, she will likely bite. Guess what it worked, You’re biting. Congrats on the discounted tuition. A year from now it won’t matter that she couldn’t get into the higher ranked school.

So basically you’re going to say anything to convince yourself that I have sour grapes. I’m still not sure about what, exactly, but sure. I’m super bitter about my daughter’s merit award. Like SUPER BITTER.

I’m not trying to convince myself of anything bc IDRC about you. But you’re trying to convince yourself that you don’t want the other school except your insecurity is showing in your post.

I din’t want her applying to the other school in the first place! I thought it was too heavy in Greek life and not a great location. It’s only ranked ever so slightly higher than the school I prefer- the one school is ranked say 57th and the other is 62nd - a negligible difference (if any). The school ranked 62nd has been my favorite from the start (although the other school that gave her merit is also totally fine by me). So I’m still trying to figure out what I’m insecure about.

Syracuse is #62 and if you think they're not heavy in Greek life, you're in for a big surprise.

Oh I just made those numbers up. Just to show that the difference in ranking was small. The school isn’t Syracuse.

[Anonymous]

Do what works for you!

But I will say the "screw them if they want other people more than me" approach doesn't resonate with me at all. For me, admissions is not the least bit personal. They don't actually know me - it's a numbers game and an imperfect process. So deferrals and waitlists and even rejections never phased me.

Which is why, when I was wait-listed by my first choice for law school, I stayed in the game with supplemental materials and demonstrated interest. It didn't feel like begging to me. It felt like persistence. I was eventually admitted about a month before the school year started, and was thrilled to be going to school I liked more than my second choice school, which accepted me the first time around. (The schools were ranked similarly, to the extent that matters. But they were quite different in other ways.)

While I'm sure I would have been perfectly fine at my second choice school had I not been admitted off the waitlist by my first choice, it never occurred to me to do anything other than what I always do: work hard and persist in order to take my best shot at getting what I want in life.

And it never occurred to me that being waitlisted was an indication that I wasn't wanted. Nor did I ever feel like that once I got there. I knew I was every bit as qualified as the rest of my classmates (and I ended up graduating high in my class, so that belief turned out to be true.)

But of course, different people are different. Some value being "wanted" more than they value actually getting the thing they want most. If that approach works for you or your DC, that's great. But it's not everyone's cup of tea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone else love this?

My DD received some pretty good merit money from 2 schools but was waitlisted at another that was near the top of her list. The waitlist school required supplemental materials, but when my DD saw that she was like “forget that! I don’t want to go there that badly!”

I was like this too when I was applying (ages ago), and I’m glad my DD felt that way that on her own, rather than start writing letters of interest and sending supplemental info, and then still have the chance to be rejected. Seems like you’re begging a school to take you, when they don’t seem terribly interested.

I guess, but your perspective is very me-centric. With any college, it's about building a class, not being "wanted." Perspective just feels slightly off to me. If more info might help the college better determine if the student is the best addition, great. If student is now more excited about another school or out of steam? Fine. But, it's not some unrequited love or jilted lover relationship.

Learning to handle rejection is a really important life skill.

It's hard to grow, overcome challenges, and reach difficult goals if your greater priority is to avoid rejection or failure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone else love this?

My DD received some pretty good merit money from 2 schools but was waitlisted at another that was near the top of her list. The waitlist school required supplemental materials, but when my DD saw that she was like “forget that! I don’t want to go there that badly!”

I was like this too when I was applying (ages ago), and I’m glad my DD felt that way that on her own, rather than start writing letters of interest and sending supplemental info, and then still have the chance to be rejected. Seems like you’re begging a school to take you, when they don’t seem terribly interested.

I guess, but your perspective is very me-centric. With any college, it's about building a class, not being "wanted." Perspective just feels slightly off to me. If more info might help the college better determine if the student is the best addition, great. If student is now more excited about another school or out of steam? Fine. But, it's not some unrequited love or jilted lover relationship.

Learning to handle rejection is a really important life skill.

It's hard to grow, overcome challenges, and reach difficult goals if your greater priority is to avoid rejection or failure.

PP again. This whole discussion makes me think of my mom and puts a huge smile on my face. One of her favorite lines was, "If you don't try, you don't get. And if you fail, it's ok. Keep going and try again."

Totally applies to admissions to me:

If you take yourself out of the game before it's over, you're choosing to give up on what you want. YOUR loss.

If you stick it out and persist but are ultimately rejected, THEIR loss. You know you can keep going, and you're a tiny bit stronger and more resilient for next time, because you lived through the disappointment that comes with rejection.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone else love this?

My DD received some pretty good merit money from 2 schools but was waitlisted at another that was near the top of her list. The waitlist school required supplemental materials, but when my DD saw that she was like “forget that! I don’t want to go there that badly!”

I was like this too when I was applying (ages ago), and I’m glad my DD felt that way that on her own, rather than start writing letters of interest and sending supplemental info, and then still have the chance to be rejected. Seems like you’re begging a school to take you, when they don’t seem terribly interested.

I guess, but your perspective is very me-centric. With any college, it's about building a class, not being "wanted." Perspective just feels slightly off to me. If more info might help the college better determine if the student is the best addition, great. If student is now more excited about another school or out of steam? Fine. But, it's not some unrequited love or jilted lover relationship.

Learning to handle rejection is a really important life skill.

It's hard to grow, overcome challenges, and reach difficult goals if your greater priority is to avoid rejection or failure.

Agree staying in any competition is about resilience character and perspective. But college admissions is a lot like life, there are many who when the going gets tough, take themselves out of the game.

[Anonymous]

I mean, there is value in persistence. In this case, though, it sounds like it just isn't worth the applicant's time and energy. She is happy with the 2 schools that she already has acceptances to. Good for her.

I mean, no need to put down the other school or take this personally.

But the applicant doesn't HAVE to keep pushing just for a life lesson, either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I mean, there is value in persistence. In this case, though, it sounds like it just isn't worth the applicant's time and energy. She is happy with the 2 schools that she already has acceptances to. Good for her.

I mean, no need to put down the other school or take this personally.

But the applicant doesn't HAVE to keep pushing just for a life lesson, either.

NP.

Similarly, no need to imply that OP's kid is not capable of persistence. One situation/example/circumstance should not paint the kid as anything other than satisfied enough with her current choices that she doesn't want to put in extra work IN THIS INSTANCE and beg a school to accept her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone else love this?

My DD received some pretty good merit money from 2 schools but was waitlisted at another that was near the top of her list. The waitlist school required supplemental materials, but when my DD saw that she was like “forget that! I don’t want to go there that badly!”

I was like this too when I was applying (ages ago), and I’m glad my DD felt that way that on her own, rather than start writing letters of interest and sending supplemental info, and then still have the chance to be rejected. Seems like you’re begging a school to take you, when they don’t seem terribly interested.

I guess, but your perspective is very me-centric. With any college, it's about building a class, not being "wanted." Perspective just feels slightly off to me. If more info might help the college better determine if the student is the best addition, great. If student is now more excited about another school or out of steam? Fine. But, it's not some unrequited love or jilted lover relationship.

Learning to handle rejection is a really important life skill.

It's hard to grow, overcome challenges, and reach difficult goals if your greater priority is to avoid rejection or failure.

Agree staying in any competition is about resilience character and perspective. But college admissions is a lot like life, there are many who when the going gets tough, take themselves out of the game.

This is total BS. Should everyone have to apply to Harvard, because by not applying to Harvard, they're "taking themselves out of the game"? Is the kid who wants to go to his state school and applies and gets in not playing the game because they didn't "shoot higher"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean, there is value in persistence. In this case, though, it sounds like it just isn't worth the applicant's time and energy. She is happy with the 2 schools that she already has acceptances to. Good for her.

I mean, no need to put down the other school or take this personally.

But the applicant doesn't HAVE to keep pushing just for a life lesson, either.

NP.

Similarly, no need to imply that OP's kid is not capable of persistence. One situation/example/circumstance should not paint the kid as anything other than satisfied enough with her current choices that she doesn't want to put in extra work IN THIS INSTANCE and beg a school to accept her.

You were responding to my post - and I agree with this. Deciding not to continue on in this specific case does not mean the applicant doesn’t know how to persist.

Another cliche we can use here - pick your battles.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone else love this?

My DD received some pretty good merit money from 2 schools but was waitlisted at another that was near the top of her list. The waitlist school required supplemental materials, but when my DD saw that she was like “forget that! I don’t want to go there that badly!”

I was like this too when I was applying (ages ago), and I’m glad my DD felt that way that on her own, rather than start writing letters of interest and sending supplemental info, and then still have the chance to be rejected. Seems like you’re begging a school to take you, when they don’t seem terribly interested.

I guess, but your perspective is very me-centric. With any college, it's about building a class, not being "wanted." Perspective just feels slightly off to me. If more info might help the college better determine if the student is the best addition, great. If student is now more excited about another school or out of steam? Fine. But, it's not some unrequited love or jilted lover relationship.

Learning to handle rejection is a really important life skill.

It's hard to grow, overcome challenges, and reach difficult goals if your greater priority is to avoid rejection or failure.

Agree staying in any competition is about resilience character and perspective. But college admissions is a lot like life, there are many who when the going gets tough, take themselves out of the game.

This is total BS. Should everyone have to apply to Harvard, because by not applying to Harvard, they're "taking themselves out of the game"? Is the kid who wants to go to his state school and applies and gets in not playing the game because they didn't "shoot higher"?

Yes.