What age to stop forcing teens to attend church?
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Anonymous
I won't denigrate sincerely held belief of others (my parents) but will tell you in my experience being forced to go to church pushed me away from religion forever. |
Anonymous
Go back to Off Topic, where you incessantly remind people to say “holiday” instead of Christmas, you troll. |
Anonymous
| My mother forced church every single week, rain, shine, if we were sick (I have vomited in church more times than I care to remember), no matter what else we might have had going on, if I babysat late the night before my rear end was in that pew at 7am, etc. Also for every holy day of obligation and many days that weren’t obligated. If you lived in her house you were at church. Eventually she gave into begging that allowed us to choose which mass instead of 7am. I was a lector, president of the youth group, ran the stations of the cross, volunteered at every event, etc. I promptly stopped going to church the moment I left home. I returned to it on my own in grad school, but not every week. And I’ve mostly remained that way through adulthood. My spouse is in the you must be there every week camp. Our kids attend Catholic school (newly this year) and they have every other week school mass and they’ve started putting up a fight hardcore on those weeks because they don’t want to go twice in a week (I don’t blame them!) and it became a big fight between them and my spouse. I think we’ve mostly worked it out where we go every other week now, which suits my preferences fine and my spouse can of course attend as he pleases. All that to say, I think forcing the issue is the fastest way to turn them off totally. |
Anonymous
| It’s time, OP. |
Anonymous
| I’m not even religious but I find it paradoxical that some people here are talking about indoctrination by religion, while in every other thread in the teens forum it seems that organized sports are the institutions that are controlling American families’ lives: posts about family dinners? Limited because sports. Reasonable bedtimes for teens? Nope, sports+schoolwork. Alternatives for exploring other interests (ej the post about scouts)? Nope, sports. Of course being physically active is good, but some families but I think it’s time to reclaim free time both for teens and parents. |
Anonymous
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OP, we’re in a similar boat. This is the first year we’ve had a lot of sports conflicts on Sunday. We’re a go every week to church family. And frankly, if I gave my kid a choice, she’d never go. What kid wants to go to church? I never did, but guess what? My dad taught Sunday school for years and my mom was Sunday school director for years and out butts were in church every Sunday for years, practically year round. I’m not a zealot and I don’t resent it. I did leave it for awhile in college (I feel like that’s normal…? I also didn’t have a car, so no way to get there for awhile but I did miss it).
That being said, with my own kid, sometimes we will split it up….we’ll go to a game and miss church; the next time it happens, we’ll go to church and miss the game. She seems ok with this and the coach knows why we’re missing. We’re not the only ones who do this. I swear, some of you people spewing all the hate 🤦🏻♀️ Religion is important to us but so is the sport she’s chosen so we make it work the best we can. If she’s plays at a higher level, we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it. |
Anonymous
| Forced religion is insane to me. |
Anonymous
| When it’s part of who you are, your community and your values, it’s not insane at all. Don’t cast aspersions because it isn’t part of who you are or you don’t understand it. |
Anonymous
Organizing a whole family’s life around sports is insane to me. |
Anonymous
Out of curiosity, what do you think religion is? For me the core of religion is a relationship with God. I don’t love all the personal Jesus stuff from a while back, but prayer, church, almsgiving, doing good works… the tenets of faith, they are building blocks in my relationship with God. |
Anonymous
I think it is a useful set of ethics and morals to lead a good life. What you describe above doesn't sound at all like a "relationship with God"...which again, I don't understand the term and a teen that is already questioning much of this, doesn't understand either. Unless you are willing to be OK with your teen saying their relationship with God is weak or non-existent which I doubt anyone using that term is willing to accept. |
Anonymous
Oh wow, really? The good ole victim mentality again? No wonder there's so many "haters" when christians say sh*t like this 
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Anonymous
Forcing children to miss physical activity so you can physically be in a place when god is [supposed to be] omnipotent is insane to me. It's all a show. Performative. Look how good our family is! We're seen at church! Did you notice Sally wasnt here today? We'd never miss church! We are the bestest of the best! |
Anonymous
Hilarious. Far more people are persecuted BY Christians. Op, I still feel resentful as an adult for the activities my mom made me miss to attend church. It certainly did not make me a regular church goer as an adult either. |
Anonymous
No. We are a huge sports family and sports dominate the weekends. We enjoy this. I never got anything out of going to services and never felt the need to belong to a specific church. Maybe I would have tried joining one if I didn’t have my upbringing but wouldn’t have stayed. Organized religion isn’t for me. I’m not anti religion at all. We believe in God and one of my children attends a Christian college. |