Anyone else hate hosting?

[Anonymous]

Kind of the opposite. I love hosting and hate restaurants. It pisses me off when other couples just “reciprocate” by making restaurant reservations (they aren’t ordering to pay). Like it’s not equivalent at all and I hate having to spend so much at restaurants for sub par food.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When my husband and I first got married, we were terrible at hosting. But the more we did it, the better we got at it. It was a skill that needed to be developed. Now we have tweens and they’ve understood from a young age not to be afraid of hosting (or “work” in any form). Maybe a dish won’t come out the way you want. Maybe you’ll be a bit tired afterwards. But the act of hosting has taught our family so many valuable skills.

And best of all, our home is filled with wonderful memories of people sitting around the dining table, sharing lots of laughs and some sometimes tears.

It’s work but it gives you something beautiful.

+1
Same for DH and I. TBH, my mom and MIL were terrific hostesses, and so DH and I have also grown up watching how to throw a party in our country of origin. We also throw many flavors of parties. We can do a formal sit-down, or a larger buffet style, a BBQ or a Super Bowl party. We do 4th of July, Christmas, Thanksgiving, Halloween, Diwali, Rakhi, Holi, Bingo Night, Movie night, Karoake night, poker night, birthday parties, graduation parties, baby shower etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hate hosting where airs are put on. Order a pizza and flip open the lid and have napkins out.

You want to make something great but who cares or owns chafing dishes.

Come over, take your shoes off and put your feet up and I'll order some take out.

I'd much rather not be invited over to someone who hates doing it; we can talk on the phone; at the park at a restaurant (yes 100 to no clean up for anyone).

And I don't expect reciprocation, bring a 6 pack or some desert and again (pop the lid and don't worry about the container it comes in)

We started doing this almost weekly when we had little kids. We call them Shitty Dinner Parties. Real pants not required.

Hmmm. I don’t think you should automatically assume airs are being put on. I love hosting but even when I’m not. I pull out my good China, I always see my table and I try to make everything nice. I don’t buy plastic unless I am eating at a park. I respect your laid back dinners. Don’t assume others are performing. Some of us really do live this way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I like it too. Agree with pp that you don’t host in the hope other people will invite you. Most people hate hosting - too expensive, too messy etc. I am a generous person in other ways too though. I think most people that host are generous.

This. Though I do start to feel used if I host multiple times with no reciprocity

Yup. It’s not about bean counting. It’s about feeling used. So those people drop off the list. I host a lot. And got a lot of compliments.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hate hosting and hate being hosted at others house. Rather meet at neutral location.

+1000

[Anonymous]

I host for people to come over for drinks only. Then add in some good cheeses and crackers. 🍷 🧀. I’m gen x and a wasp and we don’t eat much anyway. Must work, as our company keeps wanting to come over. 😂 LOL

[Anonymous]

I like hosting but I don't think I'm very good at it. I rarely get any compliments except from my relatives. I keep trying though!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hate hosting and hate being hosted at others house. Rather meet at neutral location.

This.

[Anonymous]

All the people who say they hate being hosted is surprising to me. You hate being invited to someone’s home? I hope you all decline the invitations. The thought I would invite someone over and they would come and hate it is pretty appalling. People go to effort please just say no.

[Anonymous]

I love being hosted and am fine with being a host. It’s definitely work and can have some stress. I personally wouldn’t go to people’s parties and homes with any regularity and never reciprocate.

Going out to a restaurant is nice sometimes but a totally different experience and social feel.

[Anonymous]

I like hosting and being hosted because kids can play while adults talk. We've never tried to do a nicer sit down dinner party, though, just casual buffets. If we had a bigger space and yard I think we'd do it more often, but we don't have a great physical space for people to get comfortable in large numbers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hate hosting where airs are put on.Order a pizza and flip open the lid and have napkins out.

You want to make something great but who cares or owns chafing dishes.

Come over, take your shoes off and put your feet up and I'll order some take out.

I'd much rather not be invited over to someone who hates doing it; we can talk on the phone; at the park at a restaurant (yes 100 to no clean up for anyone).

And I don't expect reciprocation, bring a 6 pack or some desert and again (pop the lid and don't worry about the container it comes in)

Yikes! So if I set a pretty table because I like flowers and it makes me happy and this is how I express that I’m excited for your company… are you going to roll your eyes and mutter, “Fancy-“ under your breath? Btw we also do pizza from the box, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I will preface this by saying I don’t expect to be hosted. My preferred interacting would happen at a neural location like a restaurant.

I hate hosting. I hate the effort and commitment. Clean before then clean after. The planning. The shopping. Someone inevitably breaks or stains something, which then I have to deal with. You have to be “on”, so you’re not as relaxed as you might be someplace else. Also, there’s no easy “out” once you’re over it/tired/ready to be done; you can’t just leave or tactfully make everyone leave all at once.

So stop inviting people over. Simple. Always be vaguely busy, having work on the house, and out of town.

[Anonymous]

This thread is crazy. Wow. And then people come on here wondering why they have no friends. I hate hosting and also I hate it when you invite me to your house but I go anyway and when I do I'm judging you for how you do it. Do everyone a favor and stay home forever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I like hosting and being hosted because kids can play while adults talk. We've never tried to do a nicer sit down dinner party, though, just casual buffets. If we had a bigger space and yard I think we'd do it more often, but we don't have a great physical space for people to get comfortable in large numbers.

This is what I was wondering about all the people who want to go to a restaurant. Do you have children? Are you constantly getting sitters. For most of us there is a solid 10-15 year window where you can't just leave your kids at home and head out to a restaurant to socialize.