If you were starting out as a new parent all over again, what would you do differently?

[Anonymous]

I regret not sending my kids to my home country every summer by themselves so they would be fluent. We did it once, they had a bad time (mostly separation anxiety) and so I just went with them for 2 weeks every summer after that, which was not enough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Had kids earlier so I could have had 3. We stopped at 2 mostly because of age.

How old were you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m very pleased with how my kids turned out though I’m sure they would say I could have been a better mom! What worked for us was that my husband and I were always on the same page regarding child rearing and we both made our children our number one priority. At the same time, we had a very loving relationship so our home environment was zero conflict. Our kids were always great friends, and still are, and that added to the atmosphere.

I'm so sad that you think you're kids would say you could have been a better mom! You sound like a great mom!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If I'm being honest, just three things:
- would have done swim team
- would have enforced more rules around screens earlier on (we had rules and are doing fine now but there were struggles)
- worried less

Why specifically swim team?

[Anonymous]

Relaxed. Enjoyed just being with them more instead of stressing about how they would turn out. Cuddled more. Acted as silly as I felt. Has more pets (they love their dog so much) and would have loved more but between work,etc. not enough time for another. Pulled them out of school for vacations — what are they really missing? Something I couldn’t have changed - given them a big family with lots of cousins and aunts and uncles (dh and I are onlies.)

[Anonymous]

I wish I would have known some things medically, like what a febrile seizure looks like and how to handle it, or the signs of ADHD in a young girl (which can look different than the hyperactivity of a boy).

[Anonymous]

I found myself saying things like, "I can't invite Billy over again unless his parents invite you" or "I can't ask for another play date so soon." I wish I hadn't been so concerned about social mores and had just asked. I would have definitely gotten some takers. And this would have made my son very happy.

[Anonymous]

This thread is helpful for keeping resolution about low use of screens. In middle school I see a big difference between kids with free range on the Internet and their own devices early and those with more limits.

[Anonymous]

Focussed on reading more with my son. He's a senior now and fine, but I should have paid for a tutor. I could give my kids help on math but I should have called in a pro on reading.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Different co-parent, not the control freak he turned into.
I was never too involved once school started. The kids are doing well and are in need of nothing but food, shelter, internet, school, and friends which they have.
A little too much gaming, but I think they can put it aside at some point and turn out well.
I'm not doing the strict thing as they have the ability to do it themselves for school or job when needed.

lol good luck

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids are 14-20. Three. Love them with all my heart but each are a handful in their own right.

So many things I would have done differently-

Would not have tried to be their "friend" and dug my feet into being a parent, and making hard calls, with no apologies.

Would not have done the traditional routine of going to camp every summer, like a sheep following the crowd and would have used that money to experience life in another country for a month during the summer

would have listened more to what THEY wanted to do in terms of extracurriculars instead of what we wanted to see them do

Would have been tougher with regard to academics, holding them to a fair expectation and not backing down (example son got a D on a test and teacher called about him struggling due to his immaturity and offered to let him redo it, but we let him go out to a party and a game on the weekend instead of making him stay home to study)

thats overall my list. You live and learn.

Both parents should make the most of their parental leaves, PTO and take sabbaticals to bond with kids. Its worth the monetary loss.

[Anonymous]

I’d have kids with a different man, for starters.

Don’t recommend abusive alcoholic for breeding. That said, with him out of the way parenting is a breeze.

So- id choose to have kids single via donor if i could do it again.

[Anonymous]

Pumping was a huge waste of time and source of stress. As were all those hours I spent researching baby products. So silly!