Is Sidwell really Sadwell?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It seems like it is pretty universal in DMV privates, esp the “pressure cookers”. In publics also there but more kids to choose from so gets more diluted.

I agree in other schools there’s more dilution.

[Anonymous]

Our school commissioned the audit too, and the results were not at all like the OP noted. I will add that the person who shared the results with the school was surprised by the lack of mental health red flags due to the rigorous reputation of the school and their underlying assumption that kids like this are not doing well. I won't name the school, as it isn't pertinent and not my point to praise one and bring down another by name. My only point is that it isn't and doesn't have to be universal that high achieving kids have mental health struggles. Schools can work on this if or before it becomes a part of the culture of the school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The nickname “Sadwell No Friends” has been around forever. All the private schools have a name. All the kids at the schools know them. It’s just a joke. Don’t take it so seriously.

But this is actually true for some kids and Sidwell does not notice or care one bit about those kids.

This “is actually true for some kids” at every school. Students struggle with depression, and other mental health issues, at every school. Sidwell is not an exception to that rule, nor is it an outlier. What’s your point?

The point would be that Sidwell does not have a particularly warm approach from teachers or admin. There is very little expectation for mentoring. And, yes, it does occur among those who are outgoing and of course there are some teachers that are warm. Every school we know of has a higher bar for the student advisory role and generally employs more kindness into the ethos of the school from the top down.

If you actually had a child at Sidwell, you would know this isn’t true.

Two quick examples:
1. There are weekly required advisory meetings with your assigned/selected faculty/administrator advisor; and
2. My children participated in Sidwell’s peer mentorship program, where they were matched with a senior. They met weekly with their student mentor.

While no place is perfect, my children love Sidwell. They have told me many times that there’s no other school they would prefer to attend over Sidwell. This entire thread is nonsense. However, I understand that people love to hate Sidwell, so these ridiculous posts will continue.

I am the PP you are replying to and I do have children at Sidwell - so there's that..... And, there is some real truth to what the other PP (the one I replied to) said. I have seen multiple other students where this was true. This isn't a hate Sidwell post. I find it amazing that people cannot imagine any other reality than their own.

If you have children at Sidwell, and you feel as you do, why are they still attending the school? Why don’t you find a school that you **think** is warmer and more kind? Why are you paying a premium for a school that isn’t meeting your/your children’s needs?

I can’t imagine being in that predicament.

These sorts of questions are ridiculous. And maybe they are coming from families that didn't enter at 9th grade so they don't have perspective? It's also not a "love it or leave it" situation.

I have seen families come in 9th and at first the new kids are all working to adjust both socially and academically. If a kid is getting very good grades but is in 10th grade and still has not made bonds with students or teachers, there is no way they are going to leave midstream. These kids are smart and they have goals and they know how much of an upheaval that would be. At least they have figured out the academic adjustment and who is going to sign up for adjusting academically again to a new high school for junior or senior year? That's crazy.

I would never suggest to these families (the ones whose kids didn't fully find their way and felt on the fringes) "why don't you just leave" - "if you are so unhappy, spend your money elsewhere". It's not that simple. I can put myself into others' shoes. I see some kids doing fine, but others are not.

When it comes down to it, it is not being a Sidwell hater to suggest there are areas in which Sidwell can improve and to think Sidwell has no room for improvement is naive. One of the main ways they can improve is to actually care about kids and families instead of treating parents like the enemy and caring about all the kids they admit, at all levels (academic, social, physical, mental).

Let me preface this by saying that both of my children started at Sidwell in 9th grade.

If your child is doing well academically, but struggling socially, what do you want Sidwell to do? Sidwell has scores of clubs (academic, social, affinity, etc) that meet daily. There are a number of sports teams, student publications, and fine arts organizations to join. Sidwell offers numerous (sometimes an overwhelming amount) opportunities to socialize on and off campus. What would you like the school to do for students who struggle to make friends and meaningful social connections? I’m genuinely interested in your answer.

I’m going to ask this as gently as possible: Are you open to the idea that your child/some children will struggle socially in any, largely neurotypical, school environment? There’s always room for improvement, and I’m certain Sidwell can do something better. But perhaps your child will have a difficult time socially no matter where he ends up.

There are absolutely struggling students everywhere and a given student may find any school difficult socially. I also know that there are other private HS where this where the admin have different expectations and encourage faculty work to try to make school a warm environment, where teachers are more likely to act as mentors to everyone, and in the case of a kid like this - would step up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^^^The parents of these students are the ones fostering the negative vibes in the class. They should be the ones encouraging their kids to foster a friendly environment in school and try to be at least civil to their classmates. There is a lot of social engineering that goes on that needs to stop before things can improve.

Exactly

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our school commissioned the audit too, and the results were not at all like the OP noted. I will add that the person who shared the results with the school was surprised by the lack of mental health red flags due to the rigorous reputation of the school and their underlying assumption that kids like this are not doing well. I won't name the school, as it isn't pertinent and not my point to praise one and bring down another by name. My only point is that it isn't and doesn't have to be universal that high achieving kids have mental health struggles. Schools can work on this if or before it becomes a part of the culture of the school.

Your post has no credibility if you don’t name the school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The nickname “Sadwell No Friends” has been around forever. All the private schools have a name. All the kids at the schools know them. It’s just a joke. Don’t take it so seriously.

But this is actually true for some kids and Sidwell does not notice or care one bit about those kids.

This “is actually true for some kids” at every school. Students struggle with depression, and other mental health issues, at every school. Sidwell is not an exception to that rule, nor is it an outlier. What’s your point?

The point would be that Sidwell does not have a particularly warm approach from teachers or admin. There is very little expectation for mentoring. And, yes, it does occur among those who are outgoing and of course there are some teachers that are warm. Every school we know of has a higher bar for the student advisory role and generally employs more kindness into the ethos of the school from the top down.

If you actually had a child at Sidwell, you would know this isn’t true.

Two quick examples:
1. There are weekly required advisory meetings with your assigned/selected faculty/administrator advisor; and
2. My children participated in Sidwell’s peer mentorship program, where they were matched with a senior. They met weekly with their student mentor.

While no place is perfect, my children love Sidwell. They have told me many times that there’s no other school they would prefer to attend over Sidwell. This entire thread is nonsense. However, I understand that people love to hate Sidwell, so these ridiculous posts will continue.

I am the PP you are replying to and I do have children at Sidwell - so there's that..... And, there is some real truth to what the other PP (the one I replied to) said. I have seen multiple other students where this was true. This isn't a hate Sidwell post. I find it amazing that people cannot imagine any other reality than their own.

If you have children at Sidwell, and you feel as you do, why are they still attending the school? Why don’t you find a school that you **think** is warmer and more kind? Why are you paying a premium for a school that isn’t meeting your/your children’s needs?

I can’t imagine being in that predicament.

These sorts of questions are ridiculous. And maybe they are coming from families that didn't enter at 9th grade so they don't have perspective? It's also not a "love it or leave it" situation.

I have seen families come in 9th and at first the new kids are all working to adjust both socially and academically. If a kid is getting very good grades but is in 10th grade and still has not made bonds with students or teachers, there is no way they are going to leave midstream. These kids are smart and they have goals and they know how much of an upheaval that would be. At least they have figured out the academic adjustment and who is going to sign up for adjusting academically again to a new high school for junior or senior year? That's crazy.

I would never suggest to these families (the ones whose kids didn't fully find their way and felt on the fringes) "why don't you just leave" - "if you are so unhappy, spend your money elsewhere". It's not that simple. I can put myself into others' shoes. I see some kids doing fine, but others are not.

When it comes down to it, it is not being a Sidwell hater to suggest there are areas in which Sidwell can improve and to think Sidwell has no room for improvement is naive. One of the main ways they can improve is to actually care about kids and families instead of treating parents like the enemy and caring about all the kids they admit, at all levels (academic, social, physical, mental).

Let me preface this by saying that both of my children started at Sidwell in 9th grade.

If your child is doing well academically, but struggling socially, what do you want Sidwell to do? Sidwell has scores of clubs (academic, social, affinity, etc) that meet daily. There are a number of sports teams, student publications, and fine arts organizations to join. Sidwell offers numerous (sometimes an overwhelming amount) opportunities to socialize on and off campus. What would you like the school to do for students who struggle to make friends and meaningful social connections? I’m genuinely interested in your answer.

I’m going to ask this as gently as possible: Are you open to the idea that your child/some children will struggle socially in any, largely neurotypical, school environment? There’s always room for improvement, and I’m certain Sidwell can do something better. But perhaps your child will have a difficult time socially no matter where he ends up.

There are absolutely struggling students everywhere and a given student may find any school difficult socially. I also know that there are other private HS where this where the admin have different expectations and encourage faculty work to try to make school a warm environment, where teachers are more likely to act as mentors to everyone, and in the case of a kid like this - would step up.

If you had a child at Sidwell, you would know that students are able to select their faculty advisor in 10th grade (and beyond). The student selected faculty advisor’s role is exactly as you described above (to act as a mentor and make school a warm and welcoming environment).

Sidwell also has a very responsive counseling office. A couple of years ago, one of my children’s grandparents passed away. I notified the attendance official that my children would be absent from school to attend the funeral service. Later that day, I received condolences from the attendance official, as well as the school counselor (who I did not contact). The counselor said that she was available to support my children if they needed to speak with a professional. She also contacted my children directly, with the same offer of support.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The nickname “Sadwell No Friends” has been around forever. All the private schools have a name. All the kids at the schools know them. It’s just a joke. Don’t take it so seriously.

But this is actually true for some kids and Sidwell does not notice or care one bit about those kids.

This “is actually true for some kids” at every school. Students struggle with depression, and other mental health issues, at every school. Sidwell is not an exception to that rule, nor is it an outlier. What’s your point?

The point would be that Sidwell does not have a particularly warm approach from teachers or admin. There is very little expectation for mentoring. And, yes, it does occur among those who are outgoing and of course there are some teachers that are warm. Every school we know of has a higher bar for the student advisory role and generally employs more kindness into the ethos of the school from the top down.

If you actually had a child at Sidwell, you would know this isn’t true.

Two quick examples:
1. There are weekly required advisory meetings with your assigned/selected faculty/administrator advisor; and
2. My children participated in Sidwell’s peer mentorship program, where they were matched with a senior. They met weekly with their student mentor.

While no place is perfect, my children love Sidwell. They have told me many times that there’s no other school they would prefer to attend over Sidwell. This entire thread is nonsense. However, I understand that people love to hate Sidwell, so these ridiculous posts will continue.

I am the PP you are replying to and I do have children at Sidwell - so there's that..... And, there is some real truth to what the other PP (the one I replied to) said. I have seen multiple other students where this was true. This isn't a hate Sidwell post. I find it amazing that people cannot imagine any other reality than their own.

If you have children at Sidwell, and you feel as you do, why are they still attending the school? Why don’t you find a school that you **think** is warmer and more kind? Why are you paying a premium for a school that isn’t meeting your/your children’s needs?

I can’t imagine being in that predicament.

These sorts of questions are ridiculous. And maybe they are coming from families that didn't enter at 9th grade so they don't have perspective? It's also not a "love it or leave it" situation.

I have seen families come in 9th and at first the new kids are all working to adjust both socially and academically. If a kid is getting very good grades but is in 10th grade and still has not made bonds with students or teachers, there is no way they are going to leave midstream. These kids are smart and they have goals and they know how much of an upheaval that would be. At least they have figured out the academic adjustment and who is going to sign up for adjusting academically again to a new high school for junior or senior year? That's crazy.

I would never suggest to these families (the ones whose kids didn't fully find their way and felt on the fringes) "why don't you just leave" - "if you are so unhappy, spend your money elsewhere". It's not that simple. I can put myself into others' shoes. I see some kids doing fine, but others are not.

When it comes down to it, it is not being a Sidwell hater to suggest there are areas in which Sidwell can improve and to think Sidwell has no room for improvement is naive. One of the main ways they can improve is to actually care about kids and families instead of treating parents like the enemy and caring about all the kids they admit, at all levels (academic, social, physical, mental).

Let me preface this by saying that both of my children started at Sidwell in 9th grade.

If your child is doing well academically, but struggling socially, what do you want Sidwell to do? Sidwell has scores of clubs (academic, social, affinity, etc) that meet daily. There are a number of sports teams, student publications, and fine arts organizations to join. Sidwell offers numerous (sometimes an overwhelming amount) opportunities to socialize on and off campus. What would you like the school to do for students who struggle to make friends and meaningful social connections? I’m genuinely interested in your answer.

I’m going to ask this as gently as possible: Are you open to the idea that your child/some children will struggle socially in any, largely neurotypical, school environment? There’s always room for improvement, and I’m certain Sidwell can do something better. But perhaps your child will have a difficult time socially no matter where he ends up.

There are absolutely struggling students everywhere and a given student may find any school difficult socially. I also know that there are other private HS where this where the admin have different expectations and encourage faculty work to try to make school a warm environment, where teachers are more likely to act as mentors to everyone, and in the case of a kid like this - would step up.

If you had a child at Sidwell, you would know that students are able to select their faculty advisor in 10th grade (and beyond). The student selected faculty advisor’s role is exactly as you described above (to act as a mentor and make school a warm and welcoming environment).

Sidwell also has a very responsive counseling office. A couple of years ago, one of my children’s grandparents passed away. I notified the attendance official that my children would be absent from school to attend the funeral service. Later that day, I received condolences from the attendance official, as well as the school counselor (who I did not contact). The counselor said that she was available to support my children if they needed to speak with a professional. She also contacted my children directly, with the same offer of support.

I do have children at Sidwell. They are fine - they are not the issue. I'm glad everything is working great for your child. It's sad that you cannot recognize that there are others that are not fine (or are ok but mostly biding their time) and want to use your experience to dig in your heels. I, on the other hand, recognize that there are ways in which the school can change to be a more supportive environment (from the adults) and recognize that it comes from the top down. This would benefit everyone, the kids that are good and the others that are not. Administrators can make a difference in setting a different tone. Setting expectations of faculty and hiring faculty with goals that match the mission are tangible ways to do that. The US principal is lovely but even the students know that whatever nice messages come from there are not followed through to the classroom. Hopefully changes are coming with the new US principal - also lovely but maybe more in touch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our school commissioned the audit too, and the results were not at all like the OP noted. I will add that the person who shared the results with the school was surprised by the lack of mental health red flags due to the rigorous reputation of the school and their underlying assumption that kids like this are not doing well. I won't name the school, as it isn't pertinent and not my point to praise one and bring down another by name. My only point is that it isn't and doesn't have to be universal that high achieving kids have mental health struggles. Schools can work on this if or before it becomes a part of the culture of the school.

Your post has no credibility if you don’t name the school.

Be that as it may, I will not enter such a contest as it serves no purpose.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is it so hard for you to grasp that others may have a different experience and perspective than you.

Where did I suggest otherwise?

Quoting you: “All schools have it, but it's more prevalent at some and less at others. Why is that so hard to grasp for you?”

My perspective: These issues are not more prevalent at Sidwell. I understand that others may have a different experience. However, my opinion and lived experience clearly differs from theirs/yours.

I made no claim about Sidwell. It was merely a response to the nuance-less statement that “all schools” have issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The nickname “Sadwell No Friends” has been around forever. All the private schools have a name. All the kids at the schools know them. It’s just a joke. Don’t take it so seriously.

But this is actually true for some kids and Sidwell does not notice or care one bit about those kids.

This “is actually true for some kids” at every school. Students struggle with depression, and other mental health issues, at every school. Sidwell is not an exception to that rule, nor is it an outlier. What’s your point?

The point would be that Sidwell does not have a particularly warm approach from teachers or admin. There is very little expectation for mentoring. And, yes, it does occur among those who are outgoing and of course there are some teachers that are warm. Every school we know of has a higher bar for the student advisory role and generally employs more kindness into the ethos of the school from the top down.

If you actually had a child at Sidwell, you would know this isn’t true.

Two quick examples:
1. There are weekly required advisory meetings with your assigned/selected faculty/administrator advisor; and
2. My children participated in Sidwell’s peer mentorship program, where they were matched with a senior. They met weekly with their student mentor.

While no place is perfect, my children love Sidwell. They have told me many times that there’s no other school they would prefer to attend over Sidwell. This entire thread is nonsense. However, I understand that people love to hate Sidwell, so these ridiculous posts will continue.

I am the PP you are replying to and I do have children at Sidwell - so there's that..... And, there is some real truth to what the other PP (the one I replied to) said. I have seen multiple other students where this was true. This isn't a hate Sidwell post. I find it amazing that people cannot imagine any other reality than their own.

If you have children at Sidwell, and you feel as you do, why are they still attending the school? Why don’t you find a school that you **think** is warmer and more kind? Why are you paying a premium for a school that isn’t meeting your/your children’s needs?

I can’t imagine being in that predicament.

These sorts of questions are ridiculous. And maybe they are coming from families that didn't enter at 9th grade so they don't have perspective? It's also not a "love it or leave it" situation.

I have seen families come in 9th and at first the new kids are all working to adjust both socially and academically. If a kid is getting very good grades but is in 10th grade and still has not made bonds with students or teachers, there is no way they are going to leave midstream. These kids are smart and they have goals and they know how much of an upheaval that would be. At least they have figured out the academic adjustment and who is going to sign up for adjusting academically again to a new high school for junior or senior year? That's crazy.

I would never suggest to these families (the ones whose kids didn't fully find their way and felt on the fringes) "why don't you just leave" - "if you are so unhappy, spend your money elsewhere". It's not that simple. I can put myself into others' shoes. I see some kids doing fine, but others are not.

When it comes down to it, it is not being a Sidwell hater to suggest there are areas in which Sidwell can improve and to think Sidwell has no room for improvement is naive. One of the main ways they can improve is to actually care about kids and families instead of treating parents like the enemy and caring about all the kids they admit, at all levels (academic, social, physical, mental).

Let me preface this by saying that both of my children started at Sidwell in 9th grade.

If your child is doing well academically, but struggling socially, what do you want Sidwell to do? Sidwell has scores of clubs (academic, social, affinity, etc) that meet daily. There are a number of sports teams, student publications, and fine arts organizations to join. Sidwell offers numerous (sometimes an overwhelming amount) opportunities to socialize on and off campus. What would you like the school to do for students who struggle to make friends and meaningful social connections? I’m genuinely interested in your answer.

I’m going to ask this as gently as possible: Are you open to the idea that your child/some children will struggle socially in any, largely neurotypical, school environment? There’s always room for improvement, and I’m certain Sidwell can do something better. But perhaps your child will have a difficult time socially no matter where he ends up.

There are absolutely struggling students everywhere and a given student may find any school difficult socially. I also know that there are other private HS where this where the admin have different expectations and encourage faculty work to try to make school a warm environment, where teachers are more likely to act as mentors to everyone, and in the case of a kid like this - would step up.

If you had a child at Sidwell, you would know that students are able to select their faculty advisor in 10th grade (and beyond). The student selected faculty advisor’s role is exactly as you described above (to act as a mentor and make school a warm and welcoming environment).

Sidwell also has a very responsive counseling office. A couple of years ago, one of my children’s grandparents passed away. I notified the attendance official that my children would be absent from school to attend the funeral service. Later that day, I received condolences from the attendance official, as well as the school counselor (who I did not contact). The counselor said that she was available to support my children if they needed to speak with a professional. She also contacted my children directly, with the same offer of support.

I do have children at Sidwell. They are fine - they are not the issue. I'm glad everything is working great for your child. It's sad that you cannot recognize that there are others that are not fine (or are ok but mostly biding their time) and want to use your experience to dig in your heels. I, on the other hand, recognize that there are ways in which the school can change to be a more supportive environment (from the adults) and recognize that it comes from the top down. This would benefit everyone, the kids that are good and the others that are not. Administrators can make a difference in setting a different tone. Setting expectations of faculty and hiring faculty with goals that match the mission are tangible ways to do that. The US principal is lovely but even the students know that whatever nice messages come from there are not followed through to the classroom. Hopefully changes are coming with the new US principal - also lovely but maybe more in touch.

You are incorrect. I have already said there’s always room for improvement—Sidwell is no exception. Unfortunately, I don’t hear any solutions from you—just vague statements about what Sidwell should do better.

What exactly should Sidwell do to “set a different tone”? What are concrete examples of how the school can be more supportive of students? Once you share those ideas here, please reach out to the old and incoming US principals, as well as the HOS. Change can begin with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our school commissioned the audit too, and the results were not at all like the OP noted. I will add that the person who shared the results with the school was surprised by the lack of mental health red flags due to the rigorous reputation of the school and their underlying assumption that kids like this are not doing well. I won't name the school, as it isn't pertinent and not my point to praise one and bring down another by name. My only point is that it isn't and doesn't have to be universal that high achieving kids have mental health struggles. Schools can work on this if or before it becomes a part of the culture of the school.

Your post has no credibility if you don’t name the school.

Be that as it may, I will not enter such a contest as it serves no purpose.

Thus, your initial post serves no purpose. No transparency equals no credibility.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our school commissioned the audit too, and the results were not at all like the OP noted. I will add that the person who shared the results with the school was surprised by the lack of mental health red flags due to the rigorous reputation of the school and their underlying assumption that kids like this are not doing well. I won't name the school, as it isn't pertinent and not my point to praise one and bring down another by name. My only point is that it isn't and doesn't have to be universal that high achieving kids have mental health struggles. Schools can work on this if or before it becomes a part of the culture of the school.

Your post has no credibility if you don’t name the school.

Be that as it may, I will not enter such a contest as it serves no purpose.

Thus, your initial post serves no purpose. No transparency equals no credibility.

That is your choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The nickname “Sadwell No Friends” has been around forever. All the private schools have a name. All the kids at the schools know them. It’s just a joke. Don’t take it so seriously.

But this is actually true for some kids and Sidwell does not notice or care one bit about those kids.

This “is actually true for some kids” at every school. Students struggle with depression, and other mental health issues, at every school. Sidwell is not an exception to that rule, nor is it an outlier. What’s your point?

The point would be that Sidwell does not have a particularly warm approach from teachers or admin. There is very little expectation for mentoring. And, yes, it does occur among those who are outgoing and of course there are some teachers that are warm. Every school we know of has a higher bar for the student advisory role and generally employs more kindness into the ethos of the school from the top down.

If you actually had a child at Sidwell, you would know this isn’t true.

Two quick examples:
1. There are weekly required advisory meetings with your assigned/selected faculty/administrator advisor; and
2. My children participated in Sidwell’s peer mentorship program, where they were matched with a senior. They met weekly with their student mentor.

While no place is perfect, my children love Sidwell. They have told me many times that there’s no other school they would prefer to attend over Sidwell. This entire thread is nonsense. However, I understand that people love to hate Sidwell, so these ridiculous posts will continue.

I am the PP you are replying to and I do have children at Sidwell - so there's that..... And, there is some real truth to what the other PP (the one I replied to) said. I have seen multiple other students where this was true. This isn't a hate Sidwell post. I find it amazing that people cannot imagine any other reality than their own.

If you have children at Sidwell, and you feel as you do, why are they still attending the school? Why don’t you find a school that you **think** is warmer and more kind? Why are you paying a premium for a school that isn’t meeting your/your children’s needs?

I can’t imagine being in that predicament.

These sorts of questions are ridiculous. And maybe they are coming from families that didn't enter at 9th grade so they don't have perspective? It's also not a "love it or leave it" situation.

I have seen families come in 9th and at first the new kids are all working to adjust both socially and academically. If a kid is getting very good grades but is in 10th grade and still has not made bonds with students or teachers, there is no way they are going to leave midstream. These kids are smart and they have goals and they know how much of an upheaval that would be. At least they have figured out the academic adjustment and who is going to sign up for adjusting academically again to a new high school for junior or senior year? That's crazy.

I would never suggest to these families (the ones whose kids didn't fully find their way and felt on the fringes) "why don't you just leave" - "if you are so unhappy, spend your money elsewhere". It's not that simple. I can put myself into others' shoes. I see some kids doing fine, but others are not.

When it comes down to it, it is not being a Sidwell hater to suggest there are areas in which Sidwell can improve and to think Sidwell has no room for improvement is naive. One of the main ways they can improve is to actually care about kids and families instead of treating parents like the enemy and caring about all the kids they admit, at all levels (academic, social, physical, mental).

Let me preface this by saying that both of my children started at Sidwell in 9th grade.

If your child is doing well academically, but struggling socially, what do you want Sidwell to do? Sidwell has scores of clubs (academic, social, affinity, etc) that meet daily. There are a number of sports teams, student publications, and fine arts organizations to join. Sidwell offers numerous (sometimes an overwhelming amount) opportunities to socialize on and off campus. What would you like the school to do for students who struggle to make friends and meaningful social connections? I’m genuinely interested in your answer.

I’m going to ask this as gently as possible: Are you open to the idea that your child/some children will struggle socially in any, largely neurotypical, school environment? There’s always room for improvement, and I’m certain Sidwell can do something better. But perhaps your child will have a difficult time socially no matter where he ends up.

There are absolutely struggling students everywhere and a given student may find any school difficult socially. I also know that there are other private HS where this where the admin have different expectations and encourage faculty work to try to make school a warm environment, where teachers are more likely to act as mentors to everyone, and in the case of a kid like this - would step up.

If you had a child at Sidwell, you would know that students are able to select their faculty advisor in 10th grade (and beyond). The student selected faculty advisor’s role is exactly as you described above (to act as a mentor and make school a warm and welcoming environment).

Sidwell also has a very responsive counseling office. A couple of years ago, one of my children’s grandparents passed away. I notified the attendance official that my children would be absent from school to attend the funeral service. Later that day, I received condolences from the attendance official, as well as the school counselor (who I did not contact). The counselor said that she was available to support my children if they needed to speak with a professional. She also contacted my children directly, with the same offer of support.

I do have children at Sidwell. They are fine - they are not the issue. I'm glad everything is working great for your child. It's sad that you cannot recognize that there are others that are not fine (or are ok but mostly biding their time) and want to use your experience to dig in your heels. I, on the other hand, recognize that there are ways in which the school can change to be a more supportive environment (from the adults) and recognize that it comes from the top down. This would benefit everyone, the kids that are good and the others that are not. Administrators can make a difference in setting a different tone. Setting expectations of faculty and hiring faculty with goals that match the mission are tangible ways to do that. The US principal is lovely but even the students know that whatever nice messages come from there are not followed through to the classroom. Hopefully changes are coming with the new US principal - also lovely but maybe more in touch.

You are incorrect. I have already said there’s always room for improvement—Sidwell is no exception. Unfortunately, I don’t hear any solutions from you—just vague statements about what Sidwell should do better.

What exactly should Sidwell do to “set a different tone”? What are concrete examples of how the school can be more supportive of students? Once you share those ideas here, please reach out to the old and incoming US principals, as well as the HOS. Change can begin with you.

Here are some ....then, signing out of this discussion.

Set up a stronger advisory system (not just a person and a time slot) - with dedicated positive outreach programming and expectations that advisors mentor and know all of their advisees and are open to parents. Some other schools also use the advisory bond as a way to support school spirit via cross advisory activities (like fun competitions).

Discourage teachers from a mindset of competing to have label of "the hardest class/teacher at Sidwell"

Hold all teachers accountable to follow the (good but often not followed) policies the counseling/health offices have set up for support for sick students to catch up

Stop putting students and parents at arms length

Hire teachers who care about student well being and value the mentorship role

Have a parent teacher conferences every year with every teacher

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The nickname “Sadwell No Friends” has been around forever. All the private schools have a name. All the kids at the schools know them. It’s just a joke. Don’t take it so seriously.

But this is actually true for some kids and Sidwell does not notice or care one bit about those kids.

This “is actually true for some kids” at every school. Students struggle with depression, and other mental health issues, at every school. Sidwell is not an exception to that rule, nor is it an outlier. What’s your point?

The point would be that Sidwell does not have a particularly warm approach from teachers or admin. There is very little expectation for mentoring. And, yes, it does occur among those who are outgoing and of course there are some teachers that are warm. Every school we know of has a higher bar for the student advisory role and generally employs more kindness into the ethos of the school from the top down.

If you actually had a child at Sidwell, you would know this isn’t true.

Two quick examples:
1. There are weekly required advisory meetings with your assigned/selected faculty/administrator advisor; and
2. My children participated in Sidwell’s peer mentorship program, where they were matched with a senior. They met weekly with their student mentor.

While no place is perfect, my children love Sidwell. They have told me many times that there’s no other school they would prefer to attend over Sidwell. This entire thread is nonsense. However, I understand that people love to hate Sidwell, so these ridiculous posts will continue.

I am the PP you are replying to and I do have children at Sidwell - so there's that..... And, there is some real truth to what the other PP (the one I replied to) said. I have seen multiple other students where this was true. This isn't a hate Sidwell post. I find it amazing that people cannot imagine any other reality than their own.

If you have children at Sidwell, and you feel as you do, why are they still attending the school? Why don’t you find a school that you **think** is warmer and more kind? Why are you paying a premium for a school that isn’t meeting your/your children’s needs?

I can’t imagine being in that predicament.

These sorts of questions are ridiculous. And maybe they are coming from families that didn't enter at 9th grade so they don't have perspective? It's also not a "love it or leave it" situation.

I have seen families come in 9th and at first the new kids are all working to adjust both socially and academically. If a kid is getting very good grades but is in 10th grade and still has not made bonds with students or teachers, there is no way they are going to leave midstream. These kids are smart and they have goals and they know how much of an upheaval that would be. At least they have figured out the academic adjustment and who is going to sign up for adjusting academically again to a new high school for junior or senior year? That's crazy.

I would never suggest to these families (the ones whose kids didn't fully find their way and felt on the fringes) "why don't you just leave" - "if you are so unhappy, spend your money elsewhere". It's not that simple. I can put myself into others' shoes. I see some kids doing fine, but others are not.

When it comes down to it, it is not being a Sidwell hater to suggest there are areas in which Sidwell can improve and to think Sidwell has no room for improvement is naive. One of the main ways they can improve is to actually care about kids and families instead of treating parents like the enemy and caring about all the kids they admit, at all levels (academic, social, physical, mental).

Let me preface this by saying that both of my children started at Sidwell in 9th grade.

If your child is doing well academically, but struggling socially, what do you want Sidwell to do? Sidwell has scores of clubs (academic, social, affinity, etc) that meet daily. There are a number of sports teams, student publications, and fine arts organizations to join. Sidwell offers numerous (sometimes an overwhelming amount) opportunities to socialize on and off campus. What would you like the school to do for students who struggle to make friends and meaningful social connections? I’m genuinely interested in your answer.

I’m going to ask this as gently as possible: Are you open to the idea that your child/some children will struggle socially in any, largely neurotypical, school environment? There’s always room for improvement, and I’m certain Sidwell can do something better. But perhaps your child will have a difficult time socially no matter where he ends up.

There are absolutely struggling students everywhere and a given student may find any school difficult socially. I also know that there are other private HS where this where the admin have different expectations and encourage faculty work to try to make school a warm environment, where teachers are more likely to act as mentors to everyone, and in the case of a kid like this - would step up.

If you had a child at Sidwell, you would know that students are able to select their faculty advisor in 10th grade (and beyond). The student selected faculty advisor’s role is exactly as you described above (to act as a mentor and make school a warm and welcoming environment).

Sidwell also has a very responsive counseling office. A couple of years ago, one of my children’s grandparents passed away. I notified the attendance official that my children would be absent from school to attend the funeral service. Later that day, I received condolences from the attendance official, as well as the school counselor (who I did not contact). The counselor said that she was available to support my children if they needed to speak with a professional. She also contacted my children directly, with the same offer of support.

I do have children at Sidwell. They are fine - they are not the issue. I'm glad everything is working great for your child. It's sad that you cannot recognize that there are others that are not fine (or are ok but mostly biding their time) and want to use your experience to dig in your heels. I, on the other hand, recognize that there are ways in which the school can change to be a more supportive environment (from the adults) and recognize that it comes from the top down. This would benefit everyone, the kids that are good and the others that are not. Administrators can make a difference in setting a different tone. Setting expectations of faculty and hiring faculty with goals that match the mission are tangible ways to do that. The US principal is lovely but even the students know that whatever nice messages come from there are not followed through to the classroom. Hopefully changes are coming with the new US principal - also lovely but maybe more in touch.

You are incorrect. I have already said there’s always room for improvement—Sidwell is no exception. Unfortunately, I don’t hear any solutions from you—just vague statements about what Sidwell should do better.

What exactly should Sidwell do to “set a different tone”? What are concrete examples of how the school can be more supportive of students? Once you share those ideas here, please reach out to the old and incoming US principals, as well as the HOS. Change can begin with you.

Here are some ....then, signing out of this discussion.

Set up a stronger advisory system (not just a person and a time slot) - with dedicated positive outreach programming and expectations that advisors mentor and know all of their advisees and are open to parents. Some other schools also use the advisory bond as a way to support school spirit via cross advisory activities (like fun competitions).

Discourage teachers from a mindset of competing to have label of "the hardest class/teacher at Sidwell"

Hold all teachers accountable to follow the (good but often not followed) policies the counseling/health offices have set up for support for sick students to catch up

Stop putting students and parents at arms length

Hire teachers who care about student well being and value the mentorship role

Have a parent teacher conferences every year with every teacher

I noticed an obvious omission to your list: pay teachers a wage that more accurately reflects the amount of work they do both inside and outside the classroom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The nickname “Sadwell No Friends” has been around forever. All the private schools have a name. All the kids at the schools know them. It’s just a joke. Don’t take it so seriously.

But this is actually true for some kids and Sidwell does not notice or care one bit about those kids.

This “is actually true for some kids” at every school. Students struggle with depression, and other mental health issues, at every school. Sidwell is not an exception to that rule, nor is it an outlier. What’s your point?

The point would be that Sidwell does not have a particularly warm approach from teachers or admin. There is very little expectation for mentoring. And, yes, it does occur among those who are outgoing and of course there are some teachers that are warm. Every school we know of has a higher bar for the student advisory role and generally employs more kindness into the ethos of the school from the top down.

If you actually had a child at Sidwell, you would know this isn’t true.

Two quick examples:
1. There are weekly required advisory meetings with your assigned/selected faculty/administrator advisor; and
2. My children participated in Sidwell’s peer mentorship program, where they were matched with a senior. They met weekly with their student mentor.

While no place is perfect, my children love Sidwell. They have told me many times that there’s no other school they would prefer to attend over Sidwell. This entire thread is nonsense. However, I understand that people love to hate Sidwell, so these ridiculous posts will continue.

I am the PP you are replying to and I do have children at Sidwell - so there's that..... And, there is some real truth to what the other PP (the one I replied to) said. I have seen multiple other students where this was true. This isn't a hate Sidwell post. I find it amazing that people cannot imagine any other reality than their own.

If you have children at Sidwell, and you feel as you do, why are they still attending the school? Why don’t you find a school that you **think** is warmer and more kind? Why are you paying a premium for a school that isn’t meeting your/your children’s needs?

I can’t imagine being in that predicament.

These sorts of questions are ridiculous. And maybe they are coming from families that didn't enter at 9th grade so they don't have perspective? It's also not a "love it or leave it" situation.

I have seen families come in 9th and at first the new kids are all working to adjust both socially and academically. If a kid is getting very good grades but is in 10th grade and still has not made bonds with students or teachers, there is no way they are going to leave midstream. These kids are smart and they have goals and they know how much of an upheaval that would be. At least they have figured out the academic adjustment and who is going to sign up for adjusting academically again to a new high school for junior or senior year? That's crazy.

I would never suggest to these families (the ones whose kids didn't fully find their way and felt on the fringes) "why don't you just leave" - "if you are so unhappy, spend your money elsewhere". It's not that simple. I can put myself into others' shoes. I see some kids doing fine, but others are not.

When it comes down to it, it is not being a Sidwell hater to suggest there are areas in which Sidwell can improve and to think Sidwell has no room for improvement is naive. One of the main ways they can improve is to actually care about kids and families instead of treating parents like the enemy and caring about all the kids they admit, at all levels (academic, social, physical, mental).

Let me preface this by saying that both of my children started at Sidwell in 9th grade.

If your child is doing well academically, but struggling socially, what do you want Sidwell to do? Sidwell has scores of clubs (academic, social, affinity, etc) that meet daily. There are a number of sports teams, student publications, and fine arts organizations to join. Sidwell offers numerous (sometimes an overwhelming amount) opportunities to socialize on and off campus. What would you like the school to do for students who struggle to make friends and meaningful social connections? I’m genuinely interested in your answer.

I’m going to ask this as gently as possible: Are you open to the idea that your child/some children will struggle socially in any, largely neurotypical, school environment? There’s always room for improvement, and I’m certain Sidwell can do something better. But perhaps your child will have a difficult time socially no matter where he ends up.

There are absolutely struggling students everywhere and a given student may find any school difficult socially. I also know that there are other private HS where this where the admin have different expectations and encourage faculty work to try to make school a warm environment, where teachers are more likely to act as mentors to everyone, and in the case of a kid like this - would step up.

If you had a child at Sidwell, you would know that students are able to select their faculty advisor in 10th grade (and beyond). The student selected faculty advisor’s role is exactly as you described above (to act as a mentor and make school a warm and welcoming environment).

Sidwell also has a very responsive counseling office. A couple of years ago, one of my children’s grandparents passed away. I notified the attendance official that my children would be absent from school to attend the funeral service. Later that day, I received condolences from the attendance official, as well as the school counselor (who I did not contact). The counselor said that she was available to support my children if they needed to speak with a professional. She also contacted my children directly, with the same offer of support.

I do have children at Sidwell. They are fine - they are not the issue. I'm glad everything is working great for your child. It's sad that you cannot recognize that there are others that are not fine (or are ok but mostly biding their time) and want to use your experience to dig in your heels. I, on the other hand, recognize that there are ways in which the school can change to be a more supportive environment (from the adults) and recognize that it comes from the top down. This would benefit everyone, the kids that are good and the others that are not. Administrators can make a difference in setting a different tone. Setting expectations of faculty and hiring faculty with goals that match the mission are tangible ways to do that. The US principal is lovely but even the students know that whatever nice messages come from there are not followed through to the classroom. Hopefully changes are coming with the new US principal - also lovely but maybe more in touch.

You are incorrect. I have already said there’s always room for improvement—Sidwell is no exception. Unfortunately, I don’t hear any solutions from you—just vague statements about what Sidwell should do better.

What exactly should Sidwell do to “set a different tone”? What are concrete examples of how the school can be more supportive of students? Once you share those ideas here, please reach out to the old and incoming US principals, as well as the HOS. Change can begin with you.

Here are some ....then, signing out of this discussion.

Set up a stronger advisory system (not just a person and a time slot) - with dedicated positive outreach programming and expectations that advisors mentor and know all of their advisees and are open to parents. Some other schools also use the advisory bond as a way to support school spirit via cross advisory activities (like fun competitions).

Discourage teachers from a mindset of competing to have label of "the hardest class/teacher at Sidwell"

Hold all teachers accountable to follow the (good but often not followed) policies the counseling/health offices have set up for support for sick students to catch up

Stop putting students and parents at arms length

Hire teachers who care about student well being and value the mentorship role

Have a parent teacher conferences every year with every teacher

I noticed an obvious omission to your list: pay teachers a wage that more accurately reflects the amount of work they do both inside and outside the classroom.

I'm 100% on board with higher pay (and tuition to support it). That said, I highly doubt that the teachers at other schools where these things do happen organically are getting paid more than the Sidwell teachers.