Do your kids write thank you cards to grandparents for Christmas gifts given in person?

[Anonymous]

Etiquette aside, all children can use the writing practice and typically have plenty of time over their winter break. It doesn't hurt anyone to write a thank you note.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Etiquette aside, all children can use the writing practice and typically have plenty of time over their winter break. It doesn't hurt anyone to write a thank you note.

+ 1, and who doesn’t like to receive one even if Emily Post says it’s not necessary?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of course not. Thank you notes are not necessary when you open the gift in front of the giver and thank them at that time.

Yes, actually, they are. And you are doing your kids a disservice by not teaching them this.

It’s not a disservice to teach my kids correct etiquette. They write thank you notes for gifts not opened in person. If you thank someone in person, a thank you note is not required.

Says who? You?

Put it this way: many people will judge your kids, and by extension, judge you, for not teaching them to write thank you notes. There is no harm in doing so, even if the giver was verbally thanked. So, why not teach them to go the extra mile and stand out from the sea of ingrates?

NP. I don’t think teaching my kids that they need to bow and scrape to feed the ravenous and ever-unsatisfied egos of manipulative gift-givers is a healthy lesson. They need to learn to identify and stand up to people who aren’t satisfied with a gracious in-person thank you. I am okay with them being judged by people like that. In fact, I consider that a win. It means that that I’ve taught them healthy boundaries and the ability to recognize manipulative people.

Of course, my kids write thank you notes to people who did not give the gift in person, and they graciously thank givers in person. But writing an extra note for someone who demands more than that? No. That’s bad manners from the gift giver that my kids need to learn not to indulge. No child should be taught that a gift-giver who is having a temper tantrum should be catered to.

Yikes. Someone needs a cookie and some alone time.

Wow, seriously.

I don’t care if anyone writes me a note, and I’m aware that etiquette rules indicate they’re not necessary when someone has thanked for a gift in person. But we have extended family who put a lot of thought and effort into gifts for my kids, so kids write notes anyway. It’s good writing practice, and I think they actually get why it’s a nice thing to do. (You can thank Aunt Gertrude for the stomp rockets when you open them, but you can also tell her that when we got home Larla came down the street to do them with you and it was really fun….)

Congrats on teaching boundaries, though?

[Anonymous]

No they do not. In person they are always good about saying thank you. If they receive a gift in the mail from a family member I normally take a picture of the kids with the gifts and text it to them and say thank you. Then they know we received it and we have said thank you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Etiquette aside, all children can use the writing practice and typically have plenty of time over their winter break. It doesn't hurt anyone to write a thank you note.

+ 1, and who doesn’t like to receive one even if Emily Post says it’s not necessary?

No one is saying it’s not a nice thing to do. But when posters are saying you’re lazy and raising your kids wrong because they only write thank you notes for gifts not given in person…that’s wrong. And frankly, I’m not taking advice on etiquette from the needlessly rude “Says who??” poster.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. My narcissistic mother does expect thank you cards and will ask what’s wrong with the gift if she doesn’t get one. Glad to see not all grandmothers act this way.

LOL. I would tell your mother that next Christmas she has the choice of getting an in person thank you for gifts or a thank you card in the mail because she isn't invited for opening presents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of course not. Thank you notes are not necessary when you open the gift in front of the giver and thank them at that time.

Yes, actually, they are. And you are doing your kids a disservice by not teaching them this.

It’s not a disservice to teach my kids correct etiquette. They write thank you notes for gifts not opened in person. If you thank someone in person, a thank you note is not required.

Says who? You?

Put it this way: many people will judge your kids, and by extension, judge you, for not teaching them to write thank you notes. There is no harm in doing so, even if the giver was verbally thanked. So, why not teach them to go the extra mile and stand out from the sea of ingrates?

NP. I don’t think teaching my kids that they need to bow and scrape to feed the ravenous and ever-unsatisfied egos of manipulative gift-givers is a healthy lesson. They need to learn to identify and stand up to people who aren’t satisfied with a gracious in-person thank you. I am okay with them being judged by people like that. In fact, I consider that a win. It means that that I’ve taught them healthy boundaries and the ability to recognize manipulative people.

Of course, my kids write thank you notes to people who did not give the gift in person, and they graciously thank givers in person. But writing an extra note for someone who demands more than that? No. That’s bad manners from the gift giver that my kids need to learn not to indulge. No child should be taught that a gift-giver who is having a temper tantrum should be catered to.

Yikes. Someone needs a cookie and some alone time.

I believe the people needing alone time are the control freak egomaniacs who demand additional written thank you notes in addition to polite verbal thanks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of course not. Thank you notes are not necessary when you open the gift in front of the giver and thank them at that time.

Yes, actually, they are. And you are doing your kids a disservice by not teaching them this.

It’s not a disservice to teach my kids correct etiquette. They write thank you notes for gifts not opened in person. If you thank someone in person, a thank you note is not required.

Says who? You?

Put it this way: many people will judge your kids, and by extension, judge you, for not teaching them to write thank you notes. There is no harm in doing so, even if the giver was verbally thanked. So, why not teach them to go the extra mile and stand out from the sea of ingrates?

And we judge you for not knowing basic etiquette. In person thanks does not require a written note to follow up.

[Anonymous]

The official etiquette is no thank you note required for gifts accepted in person; but, never unappreciated if you want to teach them to write thank you notes. https://emilypost.com/advice/complete-guide-to-writing-thank-you-notes#:~:text=All%20gifts%20should%20be%20acknowledged,to%20thank%20them%20in%20person.

[Anonymous]

My kids text thank you notes, which everyone seems to enjoy more.

It lead to more conversation & relationship-building between my kids and the gift giver. No one actually needs or even wants a card in the mail.

[Anonymous]

Thank you cards serve two purposes -- 1) they acknowledge the gift (ie, let someone know it arrived in the mail, or whatever), and 2) say thank you. If a gift is given in person, there is no need for any of this. There is no question that the recipient got it, and (presumably) they said thank you in person. People don't realize this or something, and have their kids sending thank you cards for gifts they got in person. They think they are teaching good manners, but it just shows that they don't actually know or understand the rules themselves.

Emily Post would not have sent a thank you note to someone who gave her a gift in person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of course not. Thank you notes are not necessary when you open the gift in front of the giver and thank them at that time.

Yes, actually, they are. And you are doing your kids a disservice by not teaching them this.

It’s not a disservice to teach my kids correct etiquette. They write thank you notes for gifts not opened in person. If you thank someone in person, a thank you note is not required.

Says who? You?

Put it this way: many people will judge your kids, and by extension, judge you, for not teaching them to write thank you notes. There is no harm in doing so, even if the giver was verbally thanked. So, why not teach them to go the extra mile and stand out from the sea of ingrates?

And we judge you for not knowing basic etiquette. In person thanks does not require a written note to follow up.

+1

Agree. Overkill on the thank you notes. DC know how to write thank yous, but they thank the person in person, text or phone call these days. The person gets to have a short conversation with DC - win win! Conversation etiquette is more important than an outdated practice.