Men: studies say 60% cheat. Have you? ( no specifics)

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:That has to be a national average. I feel like the men in this area are too boring and tired to cheat that frequently.

I think it is the most boring men who are most likely to be dissatisfied with their lives and cheat.

Yes, but I’m boring and therefore have never had an opportunity to cheat.

Would you take the opportunity if it presented itself? Or would you make the opportunity if you figured out a way how?

I’d like to think I wouldn’t, but how would I know? Everyone on DCUM says men are only as faithful as their options. I’m not looking to make an opportunity and don’t expect one to fall in my lap.

It is true that married men are only as faithful as their options. What kind of men have these options? He might be smoking hot movie star handsome with women literally throwing themselves at him: not many of those guys around! So that leaves men who CREATE their own options .... by putting in the work. What motivates a married man to do that work? Libido, either because his is exceptionally high or (FAR more likely) insufficient sex at home. This does not excuse men cheating but it certain does explain it.

This is baloney. I have tons of options/ chances and I would never do that to my wife whom I love.

What does “tons of options” mean? Are you hot and women approach you and offer sex? Or that you’re often in situations where you could hit on women and see if any of them take you up on it?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:NP. I work in a senior position for a very high profile company. Yes, some coworkers cheat, usually with other coworkers. I think that part is nuts; such an easy way to flush a lucrative career down the toilet.

As a guy in my early 40s, my opportunities are either more junior women (which feels icky due to the power imbalance), or peers at my own level. I have had a couple opportunities related to the later while on international business trips, but have always declined due to morals and loving my family.

I’ve also had a couple of crazy opportunities with extremely attractive local employees of companies we do business with, but always decline. I think senior American businessmen are probably an exciting diversion for some of these European women.

I’m not particularly handsome, but am tall, successful, dress well, in good shape, kind, and intelligent. I’ve found that’s enough for opportunities to come to me (I never look for them).

I think for some of us, the same responsible personalities that led to business success also help us keep it in our pants.

That said, in a different life, or if it was socially acceptable, I would have absolutely loved to indulge in some of the opportunities. I feel this particularly acutely as I age and my sex life with my own wife declines from outstanding, to merely good, to average, to below-average.

If it weren’t for the bolded, I’d be convinced you were my DH. That said, your last paragraph makes me happy that I’m not.

[Anonymous]

NP here, not sure where these statistics came from, but from everything I’ve read, it seems the numbers around 25% of men that are physically unfaithful and 15% of women. Add an extra 20% a piece for EAs.

Interestingly, I can only think of one married man off the top of my head who was a sex addict and had multiple affairs. Everyone else I can think of was… women. Almost in every case, the woman was the breadwinner and kinda the dominating “alpha” of the family. Problem is, none seemed to be able to keep the feels out of it. They seem like a horrific life choice to me..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That means just as many women cheat.

Huh? If a married man cheats with a single woman, only one of them is cheating.

Wrong. She may not be cheating on a partner of her own, but she IS committing adultery!

We ALL have the obligation to respect marriage, even if we are single. It is unquestionably immoral to have sex with other people’s spouses no matter how single you are!

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:That has to be a national average. I feel like the men in this area are too boring and tired to cheat that frequently.

I think it is the most boring men who are most likely to be dissatisfied with their lives and cheat.

Yes, but I’m boring and therefore have never had an opportunity to cheat.

Would you take the opportunity if it presented itself? Or would you make the opportunity if you figured out a way how?

I’d like to think I wouldn’t, but how would I know? Everyone on DCUM says men are only as faithful as their options. I’m not looking to make an opportunity and don’t expect one to fall in my lap.

It is true that married men are only as faithful as their options. What kind of men have these options? He might be smoking hot movie star handsome with women literally throwing themselves at him: not many of those guys around! So that leaves men who CREATE their own options .... by putting in the work. What motivates a married man to do that work? Libido, either because his is exceptionally high or (FAR more likely) insufficient sex at home. This does not excuse men cheating but it certain does explain it.

This is baloney. I have tons of options/ chances and I would never do that to my wife whom I love.

What does “tons of options” mean? Are you hot and women approach you and offer sex? Or that you’re often in situations where you could hit on women and see if any of them take you up on it?

Also how’s your sex life at home? THAT was the key point about your willingness to create options (because I doubt any women are throwing sex at you).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've had sex with women other than my wife but she was always there

This brought to mind the Bridget Ziegler case

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:That has to be a national average. I feel like the men in this area are too boring and tired to cheat that frequently.

I think it is the most boring men who are most likely to be dissatisfied with their lives and cheat.

Yes, but I’m boring and therefore have never had an opportunity to cheat.

Would you take the opportunity if it presented itself? Or would you make the opportunity if you figured out a way how?

I’d like to think I wouldn’t, but how would I know? Everyone on DCUM says men are only as faithful as their options. I’m not looking to make an opportunity and don’t expect one to fall in my lap.

It is true that married men are only as faithful as their options. What kind of men have these options? He might be smoking hot movie star handsome with women literally throwing themselves at him: not many of those guys around! So that leaves men who CREATE their own options .... by putting in the work. What motivates a married man to do that work? Libido, either because his is exceptionally high or (FAR more likely) insufficient sex at home. This does not excuse men cheating but it certain does explain it.

This is baloney. I have tons of options/ chances and I would never do that to my wife whom I love.

What does “tons of options” mean? Are you hot and women approach you and offer sex? Or that you’re often in situations where you could hit on women and see if any of them take you up on it?

Sort of in the middle.
I gotten clear signal of "I'm open to go out with you" interest such as "I'd love to do that, how often do you go" and direct invitations that I politely decline.
I include references to my wife frequently in conversations that seem potentially headed in that direction.

[Anonymous]

I've

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I travel a lot for work, I’ve never witnessed it or even heard a specific enough rumor. It doesn’t make for a juicy DCUM thread but most of us just FaceTime with our families while eating room service.

I travel a lot but there is a lot of entertaining - late dinners, parties etc. it would be rare for me to be able to sit in my room and eat room service. It is these sort of environments that make it easy for people

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:That has to be a national average. I feel like the men in this area are too boring and tired to cheat that frequently.

I think it is the most boring men who are most likely to be dissatisfied with their lives and cheat.

Yes, but I’m boring and therefore have never had an opportunity to cheat.

Would you take the opportunity if it presented itself? Or would you make the opportunity if you figured out a way how?

I’d like to think I wouldn’t, but how would I know? Everyone on DCUM says men are only as faithful as their options. I’m not looking to make an opportunity and don’t expect one to fall in my lap.

It is true that married men are only as faithful as their options. What kind of men have these options? He might be smoking hot movie star handsome with women literally throwing themselves at him: not many of those guys around! So that leaves men who CREATE their own options .... by putting in the work. What motivates a married man to do that work? Libido, either because his is exceptionally high or (FAR more likely) insufficient sex at home. This does not excuse men cheating but it certain does explain it.

This is baloney. I have tons of options/ chances and I would never do that to my wife whom I love.

What does “tons of options” mean? Are you hot and women approach you and offer sex? Or that you’re often in situations where you could hit on women and see if any of them take you up on it?

Sort of in the middle.
I gotten clear signal of "I'm open to go out with you" interest such as "I'd love to do that, how often do you go" and direct invitations that I politely decline.
I include references to my wife frequently in conversations that seem potentially headed in that direction.

Let me translate this. One time (2 years ago) some girl maybe said something that Romeo here construes as her flirting. But give him a fidelity award for shutting that shit right down!! Yep TONs of options indeed.

PP you are neither having sex throw at you nor do you have a dead bedroom at home. And you aren’t cheating. Great! In other words you’ve just validated my point. About the men who cheat and those who don’t.

[Anonymous]

I was the CEO of a large and pretty well known company. I traveled a lot and I had many dinners with suppliers, vendors, lawyers whatever and attended many industry alcohol fueled evening events. The opportunity was definitely there to cheat as it didn’t take long to see which women were putting themselves out there. My go to was to talk about my wonderful wife (she is wonderful!) and then move on as quickly as possible. If I had been miserable at home things might have been different.