Who do narcissistic parents leave their money to in their will?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mine talks about her will and her lawyer a lot. I get the sense she makes an appointment to change things every time she happy or unhappy with me. But yeah, I think she’s leaving most of it to my kids and a good amount to her church. I haven’t done what she wanted- let her walk all over me and my husband and tell us how to run our lives- so I’m pretty sure I’m getting a couple dollars and a ten page lecture and how much she feels sorry for me for her jr ting her way.

Mine does too. My mom thinks going to a therapist means that you’re crazy and so she instead uses her lawyer as her captive audience.

PP here. She will never seek real therapy. I also can see my mom going in dnd on to her lawyer about how I will not do certain things her way. I was most recently asked to visit the lawyer with her to sign some paperwork she wouldn’t fully explain. I think she wanted to see if she could strongarm me to do something with the lawyer present.

Negative intent. Victim mentality. Figure out what you need to have in order to sign. It's an illness as well to constantly think someone is pulling your strings. If you had to sign something you are an adult. Act like one.

You’re missing the point. PP doesn’t “have to” sign anything. She can just not. Also the act of an adult.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mine talks about her will and her lawyer a lot. I get the sense she makes an appointment to change things every time she happy or unhappy with me. But yeah, I think she’s leaving most of it to my kids and a good amount to her church. I haven’t done what she wanted- let her walk all over me and my husband and tell us how to run our lives- so I’m pretty sure I’m getting a couple dollars and a ten page lecture and how much she feels sorry for me for her jr ting her way.

Mine does too. My mom thinks going to a therapist means that you’re crazy and so she instead uses her lawyer as her captive audience.

PP here. She will never seek real therapy. I also can see my mom going in dnd on to her lawyer about how I will not do certain things her way. I was most recently asked to visit the lawyer with her to sign some paperwork she wouldn’t fully explain. I think she wanted to see if she could strongarm me to do something with the lawyer present.

All of this may be true, but you can always run whatever it is by your own attorney first before you sign. That’s what I did.

Same thing works with prenups, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A truly narcissistic parent will play mind games with inheritance, yes OP. Thinking about hurting you, even from beyond the grave, makes them happy.

Yep. Bonus points to those of us where the narcissistic parent is also a probate attorney.

Oh, I’m so sorry. That definitely earns bonus points.

[Anonymous]

The fascinating thing about these kinds of threads is that it's never clear who the real narcissistic person is, the parent or the child claiming the parent is narcissistic.

[Anonymous]

MIL left all her money "to charity". Not a dime to any of her 3 children and 8 grandchildren. None of the kids disputed the will. They did come to the funeral "to make sure she was really dead".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:MIL left all her money "to charity". Not a dime to any of her 3 children and 8 grandchildren. None of the kids disputed the will. They did come to the funeral "to make sure she was really dead".

Of course they did!

But here the thing, at least she was fair in not leaving anything to anyone, instead of being unfair, and pitting the grandchildren against each other, like a horrible excuse for a human being.

[Anonymous]

Relative's aunt left two copies of the her will, one giving everything to one nephew, the other giving everything to the other nephew.

They split it equally, as they'd agreed to do beforehand. Something to consider as a drama preventative.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why on earth would you spend a second thinking about this?

My narcissistic mother could leave her stuff to Elon Musk and I couldn't care less.

Because many of us who go No Contact are poor af. We think about it.

[Anonymous]

No one they spend it on themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are not obliged to go to “the reading of the will.” That used to happen on shows like Dallas; not so much anymore.

Yeah, nobody has those. The executor(s) and attorney(s) just get on with business.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why on earth would you spend a second thinking about this?

My narcissistic mother could leave her stuff to Elon Musk and I couldn't care less.

Because many of us who go No Contact are poor af. We think about it.

lol? So work more?

As someone with poor but nice parents the constant admiring of the problem of rich narcissist parents is so bizarre to me. What would you do if your parents were broke? Just go do that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think the OP has asked a crazy question. I assume the parent has threatened to leave you out of the Will for years. OP is simply wondering if the narcissist generally follows through with their threats? I have no answer, just sympathy for a parent like this.

They do.
They pull a Joan Crawford, leaving some out, specified by name.
They leave it to charity(ies) or other organizations.
One relative left a substantial amount to his dog.
They leave it to people who worked for them (like a housekeeper) or to other relatives, but not their own kids. The choices can seem random.
They talk about it a lot, how you’re in or out and they use disinheritance as a threat or how much you could get as a carrot.
You have to not care and live your life and make your own money. It’s the only way keep from being manipulated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MIL left all her money "to charity". Not a dime to any of her 3 children and 8 grandchildren. None of the kids disputed the will. They did come to the funeral "to make sure she was really dead".

Of course they did!

But here the thing, at least she was fair in not leaving anything to anyone, instead of being unfair, and pitting the grandchildren against each other, like a horrible excuse for a human being.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am estranged from my mother and am totally fine knowing I will not be an heir. I assume she will give to her favorite charities. I’m just curious about others’ experiences. Did your narc parent viciously disinherit you by name and you heard this at the reading of the will, or were you simply omitted or were you surprised to inherit after all?

Not your business. You can earn your own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why on earth would you spend a second thinking about this?

My narcissistic mother could leave her stuff to Elon Musk and I couldn't care less.

Because many of us who go No Contact are poor af. We think about it.

Sounds like a lot of bad decision making.