If you retired you, what do you say when people ask what you do for a living?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH says he is retired or semi retired. Then a million looks, and other questions follow. It’s annoying in that it is sexist. Everyone expects a 49 year old man to still be employed but it’s okay if a woman same age is a SAHM/unemployed.

No... it's still not o.k. with society if you are not working as a woman ... even if you are 55. You still get lots of stunned people who don't know what to say. I know this from personal experience. It's not sexist -- because people treat women the way your husband experiences it. It's AGE-IST. Or maybe just work-centric. I don't know what to call it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Philanthropy, stated with a suitable affect.

Haha. I have an aunt who calls herself a philanthropist. She gives a little bit to a lot of non profits and goes to galas. She does not volunteer or sit on any boards.

I was joking, but actually, it is probably the correct response in my case. I do sit on the boards of foundations and non profits.

I do hate the question though.

[Anonymous]

I retired in my mid 40s after selling a business. But truthfully we accumulated enough to be ultra high net worth without the business sale.

Retiring at that age is weird when people ask. It feels awkward to say but people’s responses are even weirder. They literally cannot comprehend it. That I was not expecting.

I have tried varying responses.

The “I am retired” is so incomprehensible it usually leads to a whole conversation where they end up directly asking me if I have to work any longer (also awkward) or it just ends without them unserstanding and usually comes up again in the future.

I have tried the “I’m in real estate” since I hold considerable real estate assets. That also doesn’t work. Most people assume I’m a real estate agent and start asking me question which causes me to either have to tell them I just own real estate. That gets into uncomfortable for me conversations where I end up having to disclose my portfolio (feels like I’m being asked about my net worth).

I’ve tried “I’m an investor”. They ask in what which produces a similar uncomfortableness and conversation as to I’m in real estate conversation.

I lie and just tell them that I still do my old job. Depending on follow up and how far I will take the lie this is the easiest conversation to have probably because it’s least changed from what I used to do.

I tell them I’m an attorney. This is technically true. But I don’t practice. It is intentionally misleading. And half the time gets follow up questions at which point I’m either in the same scenario as above or just lying.

I wish I had a truthful response that didn’t make me or the asker awkward.

[Anonymous]

I am 62 and I never plan to retire. I am a personal trainer and i love love what I do.

I will admit to cutting back -- my kids are in college and I like to have free time to visit them, or to be home when they visit us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:?

Just because someone asked, you aren't legally bound to answer. I was a physician, I don't mention that to new people at all as assume I have free money and advice to give away.

I didn't earn or save a fortune so no money to burn and know from personal experience that their other physicians would hate outside interference in treatment of their patients.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am 62 and I never plan to retire. I am a personal trainer and i love love what I do.

I will admit to cutting back -- my kids are in college and I like to have free time to visit them, or to be home when they visit us.

Right answer to the wrong question.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Import export.

LOL, are you middle eastern? It takes one to know one

It’s a Seinfeld reference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because you’re not “retired” at 49. You just quit and don’t plan to go back. Which is fine. But it’s not what people mean when they say retired. Retirement is for elderly people. You can’t retire at 35 or 49.

That’s not true. People are considered retired when they stop working for good. 50 - 55 years old is not an unusual age to retire anymore.

My cousin, a college dropout, is retiring at age 40. She made millions over 15 years with a commission job. She traveled a lot, never had kids, is married to someone who will still work. But she will be considered retired.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:?

“As little as possible. Work is highly overrated. Don’t recommend it, generally. Get rich instead. Retire early, like me.”

[Anonymous]

I'm a proud stay at home and loving it?

[Anonymous]

I took early retirement payout?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:?

“As little as possible. Work is highly overrated. Don’t recommend it, generally. Get rich instead. Retire early, like me.”

This is great

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know a mid 30s SAHM who says she’s a retired lawyer when asked. I think she does some part time work on the side but whatever.

Haha, I know a mid-40s woman who says she is a reformed attorney and now stays home with the kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because you’re not “retired” at 49. You just quit and don’t plan to go back. Which is fine. But it’s not what people mean when they say retired. Retirement is for elderly people. You can’t retire at 35 or 49.

Yes you can. If you have $20M at 49, why would you keep working? Unless you want to. If you want to "retire" you can and call it retirement, as you don't plan to ever return to work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand why you can’t just say you’re retired. This is really weird.

Op here: this is my view but not my spouse’s. We are both retired and we have minor children. I saw I’m retired but he doesn’t like how that sounds. But I am…I prefer it over stay at home parent because my kids are late teens and saying “retired” relays the information that I previously worked, which is more accurate.

We were recently at an appointment and we’re asked about our employment. I said retired. Spouse said manages real estate.

Oh, it’s you again. By your definition, any woman who used to work outside the home but decided to quit working and stay home isn’t a stay at home parent - they’re retired. You have a weird issue with that.

So far as I’m concerned, you’re not retired. Sorry. Retired to me means you can walk out the door tomorrow and go anywhere and do anything you want, unencumbered by the grounding schedules of your minor children. Every day that you remain responsible for child care you are not retired, even when child care doesn’t involve changing diapers.

I’m not sure why this is so difficult for you to accept. Your continued insistence that you are somehow different than millions of other women who quit working while you still have kids at home may make you feel better, but it’s not reality.

Huh? What on earth does the age of your children have to do with whether you're retired or not? Being retired means you have enough money to last you the rest of your life without earning any more. It doesn't have anything to do with the age of your children, and I highly doubt that you're correct that millions of women have saved that much money early enough in their life that they can afford to retire while they still have kids at home.